47. First Time


They leave that evening. An urgent message from Fantasia, one of the far-flung provinces of Disney Land, means shoving off earlier than Merlin would like. Apparently this world is also commonly known as the Magic Kingdom, due to its large number of spellcasters.

Even Queen Minnie knows some magic, she reveals while on her knees in the dirt, digging up a rosebush for Aerith to take home with her. Aerith tries to stop her from spoiling her immaculate garden, but the queen waves her away and tells her she'd rather this tiny runt of a bush thrive in Aerith's church than be bullied by its larger cousins here.

The king has to dash off to deal with the Fantasian ambassador, and so doesn't come to bid them goodbye. Aerith wonders what he's like, as Queen Minnie clasps her hand and urges her to come back whenever she wants.

"I've enjoyed talking about gardening with you. The royal gardeners are far too obsessed with the fact that I'm queen to do more than answer my questions with as little inflection as possible. You'd think I was about to order a hangman's noose if they started up a conversation first. It has been very refreshing to talk with somebody sensible like yourself."

"Thank you," Aerith says, genuinely touched and a little proud.

"And feel free to bring Kairi with you as well," Queen Minnie adds, glancing at Kairi with that same slightly wistful expression as earlier.

Suddenly the door to the docking bay bursts open and a puppy bounds into the room, followed by a white duck in a blue gown. The duck pants, leaning against the door for a moment to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry, your majesty. H e got away from me when he caught your scent."

"That's quite all right, Daisy." The queen greets the puppy with baby-talk and giggles. In return, it barks and wags its tail so hard its entire rear end sways from side to side. "Oo's a good boy, den? Oo's a good puppy? Yes you are. Yes you are."

"Doggie!" Kairi, rested from her nap but tired out from playing with Queen Minnie, Tifa, Aerith and the chipmunks all afternoon, is ecstatic at this fresh fuzzy plaything.

The puppy is also ecstatic for the same reason. It bowls into Kairi, covering her face in overjoyed licks. This is followed by barking, whining, jostling, and raising its tail end in the air with its head down between its front paws. It bounces about, huge puppy-paws flopping about like a toy whose stuffing has all seeped into its toes.

It whimpers when Tifa scoops Kairi up and deposits her in the Gummi Ship.

"Doggie!" Kairi also wails.

"Sorry, kiddo, but we have to make tracks."

"Indeed." Merlin climbs in and settles himself beside his bag, which is much emptier now than it was when they arrived. "Evensong approaches and we must make haste back to our own world for a nice, restful cup of tea before bed."

"Doggiiiie!"

The puppy barks mournfully, deprived of its new playmate.

"It's all right, Pluto. I'm sure Kairi will come back. You can play together then." Queen Minnie squeals at the happy licks she gets for this promise. When she sees Aerith watching she smiles. "If you think he's affectionate with me, you should see him with my husband."

The puppy twines in and out of Aerith's ankles, and then tries to chase Chip and Dale, but they escape by scaling the sheer brickwork below the control panels. Unabashed, the puppy chases its own tail until it falls over, and finally sits panting. The rest lasts just long enough for the duck to creep up and grab its collar. The puppy yelps, but it's not in any pain. The duck's hands are slender but surprisingly firm, as though she's used to grabbing collars of those trying to run away from her without turning it into a chokehold.

"Well," she says, "at least he's house trained now. That could've been embarrassing with guests."

The small party of humans pile into the Gummi Ship and take their leave with much waving and shouts of goodbye. Aerith is saddened to leave Disney Castle – even if the silent guards are a bit intimidating.

Nonetheless, she's glad to get home. Traverse Town seems much dirtier and darker after Disney Castle, but her heart lifts when they disembark to the familiar sights and smells. They've only been gone a day, but returning to this place, where she's found more happiness than she did even in Hollow Bastion, convinces her the trip was a good idea. Finding out even queens in perfect palaces can be unhappy reminds her she should appreciate what she has. Aerith knows neither Cloud nor Zack would ever get itchy feet and leave her out of simple wanderlust, the way the king keeps leaving Queen Minnie.

Since they couldn't send word ahead of their arrival time, nobody is there to greet them except a bunch of moogles. Tifa docks the Highwind without mishap and goes through the post-journey checks with little winged puff-balls around her ankles.

"What are you doing now, kupo?"

"What is this for, kupo?"

"Why are you tying that up, kupo?"

"Did you have a good time, kupo?"

Tifa doesn't bat them away, but smiles and patiently answers each question in turn. Aerith keeps tight hold of Kairi to stop her trying to grab any red pom-poms. However, when one curious moogle does approach Kairi only hugs it gently.

"You are soft and warm, kupo," it remarks. "And you smell of sweet things, kupo."

"I had a muffin," Kairi tells it with pride. "And I ate it aaaall up."

Aerith sighs, remembering how little time it took for Kairi, after waking from her nap, to go from holding the muffin to wearing it. Queen Minnie found the whole thing hilarious and insisted on letting Kairi borrow one of her dresses to replace her chocolate-smeared one.

"After all," she'd said with a giggle that made her sound like a little girl, "we're about the same size."

Hence Kairi now wears a delicate pink and white summer dress with puffed sleeves, cinched waist and giant bow. There's a grass stain on the skirt from where she fell down while playing tag with Tifa and the queen, but otherwise she looks absolutely adorable.

The moogle allows Kairi to finish hugging it and floats away, unperturbed.

Kairi wrinkles her nose. "Itchy." She sneezes. "I'm hungry, Aeris."

Well, that muffin was a few hours ago. "Tifa, Merlin, I'm going to take Kairi home now. Would either of you like to come with us?" The question is a loaded one: Merlin would be only a guest, but Tifa …

It hasn't escaped Aerith's notice that Tifa was reaching out to her today. It feels like they've become so distant recently, Tifa wrapped up with Cid and Aerith with Zack and Cloud. Stretched out on the grass of the Rose Garden brought it home to her. They talked about everything and nothing, just enjoying each other's company without the tedium of everyday life to interrupt. It was almost like old times. Tifa talked like she was trying to patch up something broken, and Aerith was quick to let her know nothing actually was.

"I know," Tifa said. Then she surprised Aerith by asking bluntly, "What's it like being in a relationship with two guys at once?"

"It's … not much different than being in a relationship with just one, I guess. I don't have much experience with either, so I wouldn't know the difference."

"With one person," Tifa said softly, "you want to give them everything. You want them to know everything about you – to have everything you're capable of giving. You want to be with them all the time, and nobody else. You want them to be happy, and you want to be happy with them. More than that, you want to be the reason for their happiness. If they're truly the one for you, you can't get enough of them and you kind of forget the rest of the world while you're with them." She shifted then, uncomfortably, and sat up to fiddle with her bootlaces. "Or that's what I've read, at least."

"You still read those romance novels?"

"There's nothing wrong with romance novels."

Aerith smiled and leaned back with her hands behind her head, listening to the sound of Kairi and the queen threading fallen rose petals on cotton to make a tiara for Kairi. "I guess not. Remember when we were twelve, and we sat with our backs against your bedroom door so your parents wouldn't catch us reading them?"

"You were so embarrassed the first time you got to a sex scene." Tifa's shoulders relaxed and she smirked at the memory.

"Well you didn't warn me it was going to be there. I thought romance novels meant just hearts and flowers and things. Romantic stuff. You know – romance."

"Are Zack and Cloud romantic with you?"

Aerith frowned. "Sort of. In their own way. Not like in books, though. They don't bring me flowers because I already have so many in the church. Zack got each of some candies to mark our one-month anniversary, but he ate them all. Cloud ended up sharing his box with me. We locked Zack in the bathroom because he kept threatening to throw up, and every time we ate a chocolate we described what it tasted like just to hear him groan." She smiled at the memory of poking strawberry crèmes into Cloud's mouth, while he fed her pralines and Zack complained he was dying in the background.

"That's … sort of a romantic gesture," Tifa said uncertainly.

"That's the best way to describe them – sort of romantic. We know too much about each other to get too invested in it all, I guess. Even though I love spending time with them and they can be tender when they need to be. We love each other. We don't need lots of big romantic gestures to know that. The little things matter more."

Tifa had flopped back then, hands above her head and limbs like cooked spaghetti. "I think I can live with that. It's just … I can't imagine what it must be like. I just can't."

Aerith was a little puzzled at her wording, but said nothing.

"Have you -?" Tifa started, and then stopped.

"What?"

"Nothing. Never mind. I don't think I actually want to know."

Staring at the sky, they fell silent for several minutes. Aerith thought Tifa had given up on the subject, but when she spoke again her thoughts were still on Aerith's unorthodox relationship.

"I suppose Cloud's more sensitive than Zack."

"What makes you say that?"

"It just seems obvious."

"Really?"

"You mean he's not?"

"It's … I can't really say who's more sensitive. They're guys. They hate to sound mushy, but they can get just as mushy as … as mushy peas when they want to."

"Mushy peas? You're describing your boyfriends as mushy peas? As a compliment?"

"I never said I wasn't only sort of romantic too, did I?"

Thinking back on it, that whole conversation more like a covert grilling. Tifa was curious about how Aerith, Zack and Cloud could make a three-way relationship work, and Aerith had to admit she doesn't really know how it works, just that it does, and better than any of them could've predicted.

"You fit together," Tifa concluded, a trace of something sad in her voice. "You match each other." She narrowed her eyes against the sunshine and said softly, "In romantic love, you want the other person. In real love, you want the other person's good."

"What?"

"Just something I read once."

Now, however, there's no sadness in Tifa's face as she stands next to the Highwind and replies, "No, I'll finish up here and then get back to Cid's. I want to check up on how my babysitter coped while I was gone."

"Babysitter?" Aerith is confused. "For Cid?"

"Well, my spy. I needed to be sure he wasn't going to overdo it just because I'm not here to keep him in line."

Uneasiness prickles through Aerith. "He's a grown man, Tifa. He can take care of himself."

"I know. That's the problem."

She wants to know what Tifa means by this, but the other girl is mobbed by moogles again, all of whom want to know why the shop was closed early today and why Cid walked in the wrong direction to get home.


"Hello? Anyone home?"

Silence.

Aerith sighs, flipping on the lights with the hand Kairi isn't clutching. The wicker basket clunks against the wall, and she puts it down on the table to make it easier to rush Kairi to the bathroom. That dress is far too grand to risk when Kairi's hopping from foot to foot like that.

It's only afterwards, bustling about making something to eat, that Aerith looks in the basket.

Kairi is sitting in her usual chair, on top of the booster Zack made out of a cushion and part of an old Gummi Ship seat. It's sturdy but ugly. Yuffie, Kairi and Aerith once spent an entire afternoon decorating it using potato stamps. Aerith cut potatoes in half and carved shapes in them, then helped Kairi press them into ink to make patterns. Yuffie snorted at the wobbly hearts and stars and painted a trail of flames from an equally wobbly shuriken on the other side, giving the booster seat a lopsided, bipolar feel.

The thump of the basket being pulled over alerts Aerith that she left it in grabbing distance. She turns to see Kairi grappling with a packet wrapped in pink paper and string. There's a little square card attached. Aerith pulls it off when she notices the three-circle-ear motif.

Just a little something to play dress-up with. I hope you don't mind. Kairi is an easy girl to spoil, but I can't help it. Please forgive my selfishness in not asking you first whether you approve.

Yours,

Queen Minnie.

Inside is a selection of beautiful clothes, the likes of which Aerith has never seen before. Not even Esmeralda's designs can compare with the sheer cuteness. There's a lot of lace, a lot of frills, and a lot of pink.

With each item Aerith extracts Kairi cries, "Pretty!"

"You've certainly made a powerful friend," Aerith remarks, holding up a small gown so exquisitely crafted from soft silk it feels like it should melt in her hands. "I haven't a clue where you're supposed to wear these. This must be why the queen called over that pageboy when you first tried on that dress."

"My new dress. Mine! I like my new dress."

So do Zack and Cloud when they finally get home.

"We thought you'd be gone until tomorrow," Cloud says without disappointment.

They're both sweaty and dirt-stained, and Cloud has a sword in his hand. It's a real one, all sharp steel and polished hilt. While it's nowhere near as long or wide as the Buster Sword, it still makes Aerith nervous to have in a home with a small child.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Cid. He found it in a pile of scrap a while ago and gave it to me today."

Zack shakes his head. He's much less grimy than Cloud, betraying who came off worst in their sparring. "You mean Tifa found it in a pile of scrap ages ago, and cleaned it up to give to you, but never did for some reason. Then Cid found it today and gave it to you to spite her because she left Yuffie as his 'babysitter'." He makes quote marks in the air with his fingers.

"Yuffie?" Aerith's brain clicks. "Oh no."

"Oh yes. Actually, once she settled down and Cid calmed down everything went quiet, but apparently there were a lot of pyrotechnics when he first found out."

"I can imagine." Aerith wonders what sort of reception Tifa will receive when she gets home. "Wait, Tifa got that sword for you?"

"Uh-huh," Cloud says, distinctly uncomfortable.

"Yule's been and gone, and so has your birthday. Why didn't she give it to you, if she put so much effort into cleaning it up?"

"I don't know," Cloud replies, even more uncomfortable. "Maybe she meant it as a gift for one of those and just forgot or something."

"Yeah," Zack adds, not investing his words with much conviction. "Or something."

Tifa would never forget a birthday. Tifa remembers important dates like she remembers how to kick teeth out without getting blood on her shoes.

"Za-ack."

Aerith looks from one to the other of them. Her brain keeps clicking. "Oh …"

"Cloud reckons Tifa's had feelings for him since before we got together," says Zack.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to. That was easy to work out. I think they haven't gone away, though."

The conversation in the Rose Garden jumps into Aerith's mind, as well as the recent reticence.

"Oh. Oh." She feels foolish for not realising. Everyone talks about how perceptive she is, and how good she is at reading people, but in this she's failed abysmally. She thought it was all sorted out. She thought it'd been smoothed over. Her own happiness blinded her to how the implications of Tifa's unhappiness. Or maybe she just didn't want to see and fooled herself into thinking she couldn't figure out what's been bugging her friend.

"Yeah," Cloud says. "Oh. What are we supposed to do about it?"

"Nothing."

"Zack!"

"What?" Zack raises his palms at them both. "Don't look at me like that. What can we do?"

Aerith is about to reprimand him for being insensitive when it hits her, just as fast, but not with the same force: he's right. There is, actually, nothing they can do. Tifa's feelings are her own, and short of turning back the clock nothing will alter them or the situation. She wouldn't want her friends to break up just so she could be with Cloud, she's too honourable to try and make a play for him while he's attached, but she's been keeping her disappointment bottled up for months. You can't just switch off your emotions like electricity. Tifa is tough, but she's not made of stone.

No wonder it felt like she was clearing the air.

Based on today, it seems like she's been reconciling herself to the fact that Zack, Aerith and Cloud are an item, and a happy one.

"That's the best way to describe them – sort of romantic. We know too much about each other to get too invested in it all, I guess. Even though I love spending time with them and they can be tender when they need to be. We love each other. We don't need lots of big romantic gestures to know that. The little things matter more."

"I think I can live with that."

And, apparently, coming to an acceptance of it within herself as well.

"She should've told me. I'm her friend. We said we wouldn't keep secrets from each other anymore."

"Give her a break, Aerith," Zack says. "What was she supposed to do – walk up to you and tell you she has feelings for one of your boyfriends? She was probably worried about how you'd react."

"I wouldn't have been angry. Or jealous. I wouldn't."

"I didn't say you would. Probably Tifa didn't think you would, either. She knows you. But she knew you'd feel guilty, like I bet you're feeling right this second, just like Cloud has had a fit of the guilts all afternoon. I tried to clobber some sense into him but it's not sticking. Tifa doesn't want to hurt anyone, even by accident. Personally, I think that shows how much she values her friendships."

Aerith can see the truth of this, but it still smarts on a superficial level. "I can't believe she never said anything. For four months."

"Technically it's only nearly four months. It's really three-and-a-bit months."

"Is that supposed to make things better?" Cloud asks, a sullen bent to his mouth.

Aerith's eyes slide to the window and the town beyond. "She must've been so uncomfortable whenever we started acting all lovey-dovey around her. I can't believe I didn't … that I was so selfish …"

"Did she show it though? Did she let us know it bothered her?" Zack asks.

"No, but I should've realised anyway -"

"And done what? Anything you said or did would have been an insult to her pride. She didn't want us to know. We should respect that, and the effort she's made not to let this influence our friendship. If it hadn't been for Cid giving Cloud that sword, we would've been none-the-wiser."

"I wouldn't," Cloud murmurs.

"That's because you're too sensitive." Zack pulls Cloud into a noogie, clamping his head under one arm and grinding his other knuckles against his skull. "See? You feel things more than normal people."

"Ow! Zack! Gerroff!"

"I suppose Cloud's more sensitive than Zack."

That's what Tifa said, but Aerith watches them now, Zack bringing Cloud out of his funk after talking so much sense, she realises the real truth. Zack can be more sensitive than he seems when he shoots that flirty-verging-on-wicked smile.

Which he's shooting her right now.

Oh no.

"You try to noogie me, Zack Fair, and I'll put so much pepper in your food your head will explode."

"Yeah, and then you'll have to kiss a mess of pulpy bone and bloody brain matter." He releases Cloud and advances on her. "C'mere."

"Zack!" Aerith shrieks and runs to the other side of the table, putting it between them.

Kairi claps her hands, and Aerith's shrieks turn into giggles as Cloud recovers and latches onto Zack's back. He piggybacks like a little kid as Zack pivots, swatting at the grinning head above his own.

Cloud is laughing, which didn't seem possible a few minutes ago. Zack, however, has found the fun in the situation like he always does, proving once again why they function better together than apart.

Speaking of which.

"Pin him down, Cloud."

"What? Hey, no. Cloud, don't, or I'll – what are you doing by the sink? Is that a cup of cold water? Hell, Aerith lemme go, it was just a joke. You've got no sense of – blaragargh!"


"The king sends his regards."

"Hm?" Zack, feet and calves on the couch but head on the floor, turns his face towards Aerith in the armchair. "Who?"

"The king."

"What king? The one whose castle you visited?"

"Yeah. He passed along a message to Merlin. He says hi, and he's glad things worked out for you and your 'little problem'."

Zack looks thoroughly confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know any king."

"Sure you do. You spent two weeks with him in Ambleton. Merlin's friend."

"Who, Mickey?" His eyes widen and he pulls himself into a sitting position – though since he leaves his lower legs on the couch this looks very odd, like a broken deckchair trying to unfold. "Mickey's a king?"

"Uh-huh."

"Really? Wow." He flops back, staring at the ceiling. "He didn't act very kingly."

"Neither did the queen. I get the feeling they're not like regular royalty."

"Yeah, they're nicer. I can't imagine Mickey would lock his daughter in a tower, or marry someone just because she could spin straw into gold. Wow." Zack shakes his head in disbelief. "Wow."

"You said that already." Cloud, curled up in the other armchair, appeared to be sleeping. His comment puts paid to this.

"I thought you said you were tired. I kicked your butt for hours today."

"And I kicked yours right back."

"But I kicked yours more."

"I remember you kicking your own butt pretty well. Shall I tell Aerith who fell into the water trough because he was crowing so hard he didn't look where he was going?"

"Jeez, give the guy his own sword and he thinks he's all that. Go back to pretending to sleep so we can talk about you behind your back without you ratting me out when I miss out the parts where I embarrass myself."

"I am tired." One blue eye appears over the arm slung across Cloud's face. "But who can sleep with you two chattering?"

"Or with Tifa still going around inside your head," Zack says dryly. "Admit it. That's still bothering you."

The eye disappears under Cloud's arm again.

"Cloud?" Aerith prompts.

"Yes, okay? It's still bothering me." Cloud is snappish, but not vicious. Mostly he just sounds weary, as though he has already travelled this path so many times in his mind he's footsore on the outside too. "Can you blame me? I grew up liking Tifa. She was my first crush. I'd suspected she'd started to return those feelings for a while, but when nothing happened after you two … when it looked like I was … well, I just assumed it was a passing fancy or something. Now I find out she's been …"

"Pining for you?" Aerith says gently.

"Man, I hope not. I already feel like a heel."

Zack sits up again. "Why the hell are you a heel? You didn't make her feel that way."

"Except that I did."

"You didn't lead her on, then."

"Didn't I?"

Zack scrambles to his hands and knees, crawls across to Cloud and places a hand on either armrest. He leans in, pulling at Cloud's shielding arm so he can look him in the face. Cloud resists, so Zack has to talk as Cloud squirms and tried to bury himself down the back of the armchair.

"Cloud, you didn't deliberately lead her on, because that would be cruel, and you're the least cruel person on the planet. You can't help what goes through anybody's head or their heart – especially not Tifa's. If she developed feelings for you, she did it on her own, just like she's now taking care of them on her own. Tifa's independent. She hasn't asked for anyone's help because she doesn't want it."

"But maybe if I'd -"

"If you'd what? Asked her out? Kissed her? Is that what you regret not doing?"

"No!" Despite everything in his history with Tifa, Cloud's denial is genuine. He doesn't mean it unkindly, and when he finally sits upright Aerith can see it in his eyes. Cloud just has a natural tendency for guilt and thinking himself responsible when things go wrong. He sometimes imagines he needs to be forgiven when there's nothing to forgive – like now.

"Good, because I was starting to get jealous."

Aerith rises from her own armchair to join them. "We understand if you have lingering feelings for Tifa, Cloud. Especially in the face of this. Like you said, she was your first crush. You were a little bit in love with her for a long time, or at the very least you were infatuated with her. It stands to reason you might still feel some of that now."

"But that's the thing," Cloud says, forehead falling into his hands. "I don't, even though I feel like I should."

Zack frowns, puzzled. "You feel like you should be falling in love with someone else?"

"Not love. I'm not sure what I … I don't even understand it myself. It's like … like I owe it to her to feel the way I did before, but I was fifteen when I last felt that strongly about her. I'm nearly twenty-one now. You can't feel the same way about anything you liked when you were fifteen when you're twenty-one."

"Oh, I don't know about that." Zack hooks his fingers beneath Cloud's hands and pulls his chin up to press a kiss to his lips. "I'm pretty sure I still liked you when I was fifteen."

"You liked me as a friend when you were fifteen. That's exactly my point. Things change."

"Tifa understands you don't return her feelings anymore, Cloud," Aerith reassures him, and tells him about the conversation in the Rose Garden. "She wants you to be happy."

Cloud averts his gaze. He still doesn't look convinced.

"For crying out loud," Zack mutters. "Talk to her, if you want closure or whatever."

At this, Cloud switches to aghast. "I couldn't embarrass her like that."

"You'll embarrass her if you start acting this way when she's around. Tifa wouldn't want your pity, Cloud. She wouldn't want you to pretend you feel something you don't just because you feel sorry for her."

Understanding dawns on Cloud's face, as Zack puts a name to what's been tying his guts into knots. "She'd hate me if she knew that."

Aerith reaches out and ruffles his hair. It's soft. She never ceases to be surprised by that. It looks like it should be bristly, but each unruly blond spike is silken. She could sit and stroke Cloud's hair for hours. "She'd never hate you. Not ever. Nobody could."

Cloud just continues to look miserable.

Aerith sighs. "Sometimes you make problems for yourself just by being yourself, Cloud." She puts her lips to his, breathing into his mouth as though trying to blow all his bad feelings away. Cloud closes his eyes, deepening the kiss until a cough beside them makes them break apart.

"Sorry, Zack."

"Don't be."

Aerith is suddenly very aware of the hand on her lower back. Cloud seems equally aware of Zack's other hand, which has found a place on his thigh.

"Zack?"

"Four months," Zack says. Is she imagining it, or is there a huskiness to his voice that wasn't there a minute ago?

"Is less than five," she replies when Cloud doesn't.

"Is a very long time," Zack corrects, moving his thumb in small circles around the base of her spine.

A tiny frission travels from there to the top. Her shoulders twitch and a shiver runs in reverse up her backbone. "Technically it's not four months, it's three-and-a-bit." She echoes his own words.

"Which is also a very long time. Especially when spending it with two gorgeous creatures like you."

"'Gorgeous creatures'? Have you been at Tifa's reading material?"

Zack's thumb stops for him to look at her, nonplussed. "Huh?" In the history of seduction lines, this isn't a contender for the crown. It ruins the moment.

"Never mind."

Trying to recapture the mood, Zack pulls her slightly towards him. Since she's kneeling, all it takes this small push to make her almost fall and support herself against the side of his chest. Zack is warm, even through his sweater. She can feel his heartbeat, a steady 'ba-bump' that's actually not so steady anymore. It's more of a 'babumpbabumpbabump' that belies the easy smile and regular pattern of his breathing.

Nervousness grows like speeded-up fungus in the pit of her belly. No matter how much she might have considered this, how much time she's had to ready herself for this next stage in their relationship (especially given the almost-happened times before when they were interrupted), all her words take wing at the sound of Zack's heart inside his ribcage. His heartbeat is like him – vital and powerful and very, very alive.

"Kairi is -"

"Asleep. And she'll stay that way, since she's so exhausted from her day out."

"Yuffie -"

"We don't have to stay out here." This, unexpectedly, is from Cloud. He leans forward in the armchair. There's nothing fake about the hand that touches her lower back from the other side, or the way Cloud's fingers tangle with Zack's in a muddled stroke of her skin – and each others – through her dress. Cloud's face, however, is a study in nerves overlaid with seriousness to keep them from jangling right out of his body through his pores.

"I …" Aerith hesitates, involuntarily leaning back, away from them both.

Their hands stop. Cloud's falls away, but Zack's stays where it is, a solid presence that's clearly in control enough for him to remove it at a word from her. It hasn't moved, but it's gone from seductive to platonic in a moment.

"We won't if you're not ready, Aerith."

They've talked about this. It's not like it's totally unexpected. One of the defining things about their relationship is the scarily adult conversations – the kind that would, once upon a time, have made Zack in particular run a mile. They've discussed sleeping together and how it might change things, just as they've gotten used to the changes rendered from friendship to a relationship. They just haven't discussed them recently.

"Aerith?" Cloud's nerve is failing him. He manages to put three separate syllables into her name. He hates seeming weak, especially compared to Zack, but Aerith can poke a hole in his facades like popping a soap bubble.

Aerith looks at them both, at the lines of their faces she's memorised over the years but seen again, in a new light, since they decided to try this; as though going back to a favourite childhood book, only to find it has been rewritten by a different author. The story is the same, but the path isn't as well-trodden or familiar as it used to be. There are new subplots, new details, and new things to experience that make it different, maybe even better, than the book you remember through a child's eyes.

Aerith leans in to kiss each of them in turn. "Come on, then. Before we change our minds."

It, too, is hardly the most romantic line in the world. It'd never make it into one of Tifa's romance novels, but as she walks to Cloud and Zack's bedroom, peppered by kisses and soft touches, Aerith couldn't care less.

This is real, not a story. This isn't a romance novel, or a fairytale; it's reality, and it's full of nervousness and mistakes and laughing at the wrong moment. It has questions and hesitations and daft things like kneeling on hair and strange noises that totally ruin the mood. It's falling off the bed, bumping heads, and sneezing over your lover when you accidentally inhale a bead of your own sweat. It's learning and realising and, most important of all, it's in no way false. This is truth written in eyes and skin and cotton, and each of them soon confirm that what they feel for each other is genuine, and that nothing – nothing whatsoever from their past, present or future – is ever going to change that.

What they don't learn, however, is that what you understand to be true when you're young and in love is not necessarily the truth.

Because this is reality, which can be merciless as well as wonderful. It isn't a romance novel or a fairytale, and because of that it doesn't owe anyone, not even those genuinely in love, a happy ending.


To Be Continued …