Chapter Fifty Two: Confessions of a Broken Heart
It is strange how when one commits to do something, they never get around to doing it. I had decided that day to confess to Seiya my feelings. Yet with each day I saw less and less of her. Today she leaves for Earth. I think she's going back to see her. I won't see her off. My fuming jealousy will flare, I just know it. Perhaps if things did not go well, I'll tell her how I feel...or would that be merely taking advantage of her vulnerable state? Will it ever be the right time? It's been six months..
Maker closed her diary with a sigh. It was time to go meet up with Healer for lunch anyways. Her and Healer had grown apart after everything that happened on Earth, but as Fighter and Kakyuu began spending more time together, Healer and Maker were drawn together as well. They had no one else.
"Oi!" Healer called from behind her.
Maker stopped abruptly. "I thought you'd already be in the dining hall."
Healer grinned, presenting a basket, presumably with food therein.
"I thought we'd eat outside, it's nice."
Maker raised her eyebrow. "You intend to watch Fighter leave?"
Healer fidgeted slightly. "Well, she IS our leader..." Maker looked distant suddenly, and Healer wondered if she said something wrong, when Maker suddenly smiled, and continued walking. Healer caught up to her, and the two walked outside.
"How long is she staying?" Maker asked conversationally. She could practically feel Healer's mood darken.
"Kakyuu has given her permission to stay as long as she likes..."
Maker blinked. "Indefinitely?"
Healer nodded. "Obviously happiness for her isn't here."
Maker winced as that comment stung, though she knew that Healer hadn't meant it to. Deep down, she wished Fighter would have found happiness with her.
They had been eating in thoughtful silence for a short while when they both felt it..Healer hissed in pain, clutching her chest, and Maker embraced her tightly, feeling a similar, if less extensive feeling of loss.
"She's really going.." Healer whispered. Maker nodded, but said nothing. What could she say? She was overwhelmed with a feeling of dread. That Usagi would take Seiya, that Seiya would never return..
Kakyuu watched sadly out her window as a shooting star streaked across the sky. She looked down at her hands, at long, elegant nails painted perfectly red.
"To love something is to let it be free.." she whispered quietly, opening her hands. Trapped within them was a small bird, notorious for having a most beautiful song. She watched as it flew out the window, happily, eager for it's long awaited freedom.
Kakyuu took many shuddering breaths, before pulling herself together. She stood, and made her way from her private chambers to the throne room. She loved Fighter. She'd never deny that if asked. But her first concern would always be her planet..and second would be the happiness of her dearest friends and protectors. If the other two were to ask to leave, she would allow them.
Even after their sorrow had passed, Maker and Healer embraced each other still. Maker was desperate to ease the loneliness that tore apart at her every single day. Healer wanted to pretend things had never ended between them.
"Maker.." Healer said softly. Maker loosened her embrace, permitting Healer to move away if she so pleased. Healer didn't move a muscle.
"Hnn?" Maker replied.
"...Never mind. Let's go inside. It looks like it's going to storm."
Maker regarded her comrade through questioning lilac eyes, but said nothing..merely wondered what it was that Healer had wanted to tell her.
Healer returned to her room to review some of the photographs she'd taken the day before, whereas Maker lay in bed staring at her ceiling.
-On Earth-
Sailor Star Fighter blinked her eyes as she looked at her surroundings. This place seemed nothing like she remembered it. What she even on the right planet? There were no buildings of metal, no stench of vehicle emissions. The air was clear, and large structures glistened like diamonds. She walked slowly through the streets, curious of what had happened to this place. She found herself making her way to the largest building, in the center of former Tokyo. Guards stood in the pathway, and confronted her.
"Who are you?" They demanded. Fighter cocked an eyebrow.
"Well you're awfully rude. And here I was thinking most Japanese people were polite." she said conversationally.
"State your business!" the demand was harsh and Fighter found herself breathing shallowly as a sharp blade was held inches from their neck.
"I'm in search of Tsukino Usagi, know her?" she asked, her indigo eyes glaring at them despite the peril she was possibly in. The guards regarded each other in utter confusion.
"I'm Sailor Star Fighter. I'm looking for Sailor Moon..." she continued.
"Sailor...Moon?.." The guards repeated stupidly. Then it dawned on them.
"Neo-Queen Serenity has not been called that for hundreds of years. I'll send word to the castle. Remain here." One of the guards took off at a sprint up the castle steps, disappearing into the glistening palace, while the other regarded her wearily. She could easily dispatch of him, but decided it'd be bad manners to do so. After a good twenty minutes, the guard, out of breath returned.
"Neo-Queen Serenity has been expecting you for a long time. She will hold conference with you shortly. I am to direct you to the main hall." and with that, the guard led Fighter into the palace.
Neo-Queen Serenity, huh? Looks like Odango made something of herself, after all. I knew she would..
Fighter sighed deeply, but the guard did not notice. Sure, there were a few lingering feelings for the blond bombshell. What she sought most was advice. Odango was always good at understanding love problems.
Serenity she corrected herself.
After a short time, the queen appeared, in all her regal glory at the top of the staircase. Fighter looked up at her. She had aged, perhaps 10 years, but no more than that. The guard had mentioned centuries though. Fighter felt very confused.
Suddenly, the queen's eyes widened in recognition, and she cried out happily. "Oh Seiya!" she said, picking up her dress, racing down the stairs with all the haste she could muster. In moments the blonde beauty was within Fighter's arms, who chuckled lightly.
"Here I was thinking you were all grown up." Fighter joked. Serenity looked into Fighter's eyes, tears welling within her own.
"You guys said you'd come visit..I...I'd thought you never would!"
Fighter looked even more confused. "Well, I couldn't just ditch the moment I got back. We had lots of rebuilding to do."
"Of course of course. We'll talk more comfortably in my chamber. Come." she said excitedly, leading Fighter up the stairs.
Despite her new position, she was still the same old Usagi. Fighter smiled at this, she was glad she hadn't changed much.
After they were settled in and sipping tea, Fighter asked the question that was nagging her mind.
"How long have I been gone?"
Serenity looked thoughtful. "Six hundred years."
Fighter's eyes bulged out of her head. "That much time's passed?"
Serenity nodded. "Don't you keep track of time on Kinmoku?"
Fighter's expression darkened. "Odango..on Kinmoku, it's only been a little over a year since Galaxia first came."
"I see...time passes slower over there. That explains much." Serenity smiled, and in that instant Fighter saw her true age. The age of someone tired of having responsibility, of someone who should've achieved peace long ago.
"You've hardly aged." Fighter said in wonder, leaning forward, her hand delicately turning Serenity's face this way and that.
"Neither have you." Serenity joked. "So to what occasion do I owe the visit?" She asked, getting to the point. Fighter suddenly felt unsure of this visit.
"Do I really need a reason to visit my high school sweetheart? Yeesh." Fighter said indignantly, feigning offense.
"Sweetheart? You were obsessed with me!" Serenity said with equal indignation. It was just like old times, even though so much time had passed for her. Fighter decided to get to the point, as well.
"Kakyuu-hime..said I may stay as long as I like...I was not happy on Kinmoku you know.."
Serenity sighed deeply. "Seiya..You know I cannot love you."
"I..I know that. I was just hoping I could stay here for a little while. To heal."
"Heal?" Serenity echoed cluelessly.
Fighter sighed. "For as long as I can remember, I've been in love with Maker. It would seem..she has chosen Healer over me. It's too much. I can't face them.. I need time to get over it."
Serenity smiled in compassion and understanding, placing her hand over Fighter's in comfort.
"As a dear friend of mind, and someone who assisted in fighting Galaxia, you are welcome to stay as long as you need."
Fighter smiled. "Thank you, Odango."
Serenity scrunched her face in distaste. "Can't you give me a little more respect? I'm Queen! Even Mars-baka doesn't call me that anymore!"
Fighter laughed softly. "It's only been a year.."
"For you!" Serenity scolded.
"Alright, alright..fine." Fighter agreed hesitantly.
(Some time later)
Fighter sat in the rose garden. It was filled with nothing but red roses, the symbol of Endymion's love for Serenity. How perversely accurate, for the flower was guarded by sharp thorns, threatening to draw blood from any who sought to take that small token of beauty. Serenity was too pure for a flower of red color. Red was of love, passion and lust. Perhaps it fit Endymion, but not the angelic woman Fighter had once loved.
Fighter thought of Maker. They were destined to be lovers, as Endymion and Serenity. But Fighter defied destiny at every single turn. She didn't like the thought of being controlled, yet she wanted that destiny. Was it somehow the turn around of her own defiance, Maker's refusal to love her?
"Fighter?" A soft voice called from behind. Turning her head, Fighter spotted the moon princess. Err, Earth Queen. She'd never get used to that. Serenity sat on the bench next to Fighter, enjoying the cool night air. Fighter's gaze was fixed on the stars.
"Remember when we sat on a bench, similar to this, looking at the stars?" Fighter asked. No response. It had been a long time for her...
"I told you, that I didn't want to see your shine go out. I wanted to protect you." Serenity nodded, only now remembering.
"Strange, it wasn't that long ago, but being here, it feels like an eternity. A different life, even."
Serenity nodded once more. "Events occur to separate different portions of your life apart. When you came to Earth, the happy home you once knew, that life, would be forever gone. When you left Earth, the life you'd come to know here was gone. When you came here once more, the torturous existence you faced on Kinmoku ended, too." Serenity spoke with quiet reverence and wisdom. It was strange for Fighter to be talking to someone who was technically in the future. It was as if she'd been in a deep sleep all along.
"When you go back, you should talk to Maker once more. Tell her what you've told me. You love her very much." Serenity said, a soft smile forming.
"I told you, she's interested in Healer."
"Perhaps. But as long as I've known you, you've never given up, even if the going was rough. You always believed in something good that could happen. Isn't your happiness worth fighting for?"
"Not if it'll make Healer miserable."
Serenity sighed. "Somethings just aren't meant to be, I'm afraid. She'll understand someday. You did, after all."
Fighter stared hard at Serenity for a long moment, just barely grasping the hidden meaning.
"Good evening, Fighter." Serenity said, standing and leaving Fighter all alone once more. She was thoughtful, yes, but still didn't feel ready to return. It's not like her four month absence would be noticed. It's probably only been a few hours back on Kinmoku, anyways.
-a few months later, Earth-
Fighter was hanging out with none other than Sailor Venus, the only Sailor Senshi that had remained single after all the years. They were at a coffee shop, reminiscing of a different time that was still vivid to Fighter, but a hazy image to Venus.
"So, why did you never get married or anything?" Fighter asked quietly. Venus stared at her in shock.
"I'm sorry.." She apologized. Venus sighed wistfully, waving it off. "It's fine."
After a long moment, Venus spoke again. "I suppose..no matter how hard I tried, nothing ever compared to him..well, her, I suppose. I thought it mattered then, but after all this time alone, I've come to doubt it."
"Her?" Fighter asked.
"Healer..." Venus all but whispered, all sense of vibrancy drained from her.
"Oh.." Fighter decided it best to leave out the fact that Healer was making googly eyes at Maker most of the time.
"I kept thinking she'd come back one day, and proclaim undying love and affection you know." Venus said with a wry laugh. "But I never thought to realize how differently time plays out in different Galaxies. I doubt she'd want an old maid like me now, anyways."
"Don't say that." Fighter said gently. "You're still beautiful."
Venus sighed. "I know that. I used to think I wanted to live forever. Now that I am living for forever, I wish I could just die."
Fighter blinked in confusion. Who didn't want immortality?
"Because if I could, then this would be more tolerable. I'd at least be able to say that when I die, it'll all be over. No loneliness, no regrets. I've always regretted not telling her to stop, not saying goodbye, not kissing her with wild abandon."
Fighter smiled slightly, for she too, had similar regrets.
"Trouble in paradise, hm?" Fighter said.
"Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful life here. But..it's just not how it's supposed to be."
Fighter raised an eyebrow. "I thought this was everything according to plan."
"It is, but it's unnatural."
"Ah."
The lunch ended shortly after that. Fighter felt she now had a better perspective on life, but still felt she wasn't ready to return. As she wandered the halls aimlessly, she collided with none other than the King of Earth, Endymion.
"Gomenasai.." she stuttered, the wind nearly knocked out of her. She'd forgotten how much larger he was than herself. He chuckled lightly.
"It's alright. I do believe this is the first time I've gotten to see you since you arrived. Terribly sorry about that you know. I've been busy."
I'll bet you have her mental voice sneered, though she didn't voice her irritation.
"Serenity told me that you came here for an escape, you know I'm willing to talk to you, though we never knew each other."
"Talk? Or threaten me to never touch your precious Usako?" Fighter said, crossing her arms confidently. He laughed good humoredly.
"I haven't called her that in so long! I'd almost forgotten that name! You're sharp, you know that? Come, let's go for a walk." He suggested. Fighter hadn't much choice but to comply.
"I never did get to thank you.." He said quietly after several minutes of silence.
"Thank me?" Fighter repeated.
"Yes...you protected her when I could not. She was so fragile back then..I'm glad someone like you was there to support her, and encourage her when she wanted to give up. Yes, she had the other senshi, but I know you reached a deeper part of her that they couldn't...that I couldn't."
Fighter blinked in surprise. He was admitting her and Usagi had been closer than he had been?
"Now, what is it that you're running from?" He asked, and in that instant Seiya understood many things. Like why Usagi was so dedicated to someone who never responded to her. Sure, he seemed distant, but that sincerity spoke of many things. She let out a long breath.
"I'm in love with my teammate, Maker."
"The tall one?" He asked, scrunching his face, trying to remember. He must've picked that up from Serenity, Fighter thought in amusement.
"Yes, the tall one."
"Never thought she was your type."
Fighter sent him a half-hearted glare.
"The thing is, I'm almost certain her and Healer are involved, in some way. I..can't tell her how I feel. I'll be rejected..or worse, she'll choose me, and Healer will be devastated."
Endymion nodded. "You know, when Serenity and I were young..I made a very big mistake. I kept having this dream, that harm would come to her if we stayed together."
"Eh?" Fighter had never heard this story before.
"I figured, the best way to protect her, was to break up with her. In the end, it did no good, the dreams I had were my future self warning about the enemy coming. I always regretted that time. I should have told her what was going on. Sure, it may have upset her, but I never gave her the choice to decide on her own. Doesn't Maker deserve that choice? Sure, Healer may become upset if Maker chooses you, but if Maker would choose you over Healer anyways, don't you think it wasn't meant to be? That Healer deserves someone who will love her unconditionally?"
Fighter stopped in her tracks, a smile slowly forming on her lips.
"I never thought you'd be the one to make everything click in my head. Arrigatou. I've gotta go to her now!" Fighter shouted, opening the nearest window.
"Are you crazy?" Endymion voice in concern, rushing to her side to pull her back. Fighter winked over her shoulder.
"Take care of Serenity while I'm gone, you may never get to see me again." with that, she jumped out the window, becoming a ray of light, shooting off towards Kinmoku. Endymion sighed in relief that she didn't get hurt. They were on the tenth floor, after all. With a satisfied smile, he returned to his room to tell Serenity of Fighter's departure and renewed hope.
A/N: Well? How was that? Let me know in a review!
