Chapter Forty-Eight: You're not the only one refusing to back down

Tommy's POV

I'd never seen Pharaoh so broken.

I'd seen him angry. I'd seen him cry. I'd seen him completely lose his mind with rage and ecstasy. I'd seen him in just about every emotion, every state of mind he's ever been in. Some phased me more than others, but, in truth, it all depended on the context of what had happened to put him in that state. But when I pushed open mine and Drake's room and saw him shaking with tears as he stared down at a piece of paper, my heart began to break.

"Adam?" My voice was no stronger than a whisper. He looked over at me, looking like hell in a handbasket. His hair was disheveled around his face, his eyes and cheeks were red and wet with tears. He was shaking and whimpering like a lost, kicked puppy. I gasped softly, rushing over to him to try to comfort him as best as I could. "What on Earth is the matter?"

Something, though, in the way he was crying and holding a note in his hands told me that I already knew the answer. Drake. Something had happened between them, and, as my heart clenched and unclenched in my chest, I could only think that that "something" was Alexander. Had Drake found out about Pharaoh's previous lover? And, if so, from who? I certainly hadn't told him, and, as much as I hated to think it, I doubted Pharaoh told him.

"Drake… He found out about Alexander…" Pharaoh whispered, still shaking with tears. So, my suspicion had been correct after all. But how?

Pharaoh sniffed, shoving the paper into my hands. It was stained with tears, fresh and ones that had already dried. Drake's? I frowned at him before reading the words… It was a poem, obviously in Drake's handwriting. From his heart. I couldn't breathe as my eyes scanned back and forth across the words, one line sticking out and stabbing deep with an icy blade into my chest; you said you loved me, you're a liar 'cause you never, ever did, baby…

Pharaoh's hands gripped my arms as he shook me, begging— pleading— me, "Where is he, Tommy? Please, tell me you know where he is!" I stared up at him for a long moment, unable to speak. Unable to breathe. I'd never seen him so utterly desperate over someone before. I probably would've said differently had I known him like this when Alexander was still alive, but I didn't then. And all I could do now was shake my head slightly, my eyes wide with fear.

"I have no idea where he is… I haven't seen him at all today, but we need to find him…" My voice trailed off. The hope in Pharaoh's eyes vanished and he trembled, dropping his head onto my shoulder. I set the poem down onto my bed, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I could without hurting him. He wouldn't stop crying, wouldn't stop shaking.

How did Drake find out, though? And… What had happened when he found out? Did he and Pharaoh talk at all? Or did he just find out, write this poem, and leave? But that couldn't have been the case. Pharaoh wasn't dumb in the slightest, but I doubted he would've been crying so hard if he hadn't seen Drake prior to finding the poem… I sighed softly, running my fingers through Pharaoh's hair as soothingly as I could.

Like Drake's, it'd gotten longer. It barely passed his shoulders, hanging in shaggy, soft waves around his face. I tried to calm him down; I rubbed his back, his shoulders, ran my fingers through his hair. I did everything I could think of, but Pharaoh kept crying into my shoulder. Seeing him so upset was breaking my heart. Knowing that Drake had disappeared was even worse though. Drake may've belonged to Pharaoh, may've been his lover, but I loved him, too.

"Adam… Adam, please… We'll find him. We'll find him…" I whispered into his ear. His sobs began to calm into soft whimpers and sniffs before finally he pulled out of my arms, wiping his tears away. He still looked like hell, but, at least, now he was calming down a little. I reached up, palming his face in my hands gently, rubbing circles into his cheeks gently.

Pharaoh leaned into my touch, bringing his hand up to cover one of mine. He looked heartbroken, but at least he wasn't crying. I hated seeing him cry. He breathed slowly, pulling my hand away from his face before he turned, heading for the door. I followed him quickly, keeping at his side the whole time. I didn't know where he was going, but I knew I needed to stay with him at all costs.

"We're going to see Cassidy. I'm going to tell him what's happened. I'll raise a search for the whole palace." Pharaoh said to me in a hushed tone as we passed several servants. They looked at us, warily, probably because of our walking pace and the fact that Pharaoh had, obviously, been crying. Despite his appearance, I was proud of him. His voice was calm, steady. He was probably trying to hold back more tears, though.

"What if he's not here, Adam?" I was afraid to say the words, but I had to mention the prospect that, maybe, Drake wasn't in the palace anymore. Pharaoh's step faltered and he slowed for only the briefest of paces before picking it back up. He actually began to walk a little faster. But I could see it in his face that he hated the idea that Drake wasn't here. I could see it in his eyes…

"I-if he's not, I'll put Cassidy in charge. We'll go out and find him ourselves." Pharaoh's tone was strong, but his voice was quivering slightly. I glanced up at him, seeing the shine of tears in his eyes as we turned a corner, walking down a long, wide corridor towards Cassidy's room. I bit down on my lip, regretting voicing my thoughts. But I had to be honest with him. As much as I didn't want to believe that Drake could've run away, it was all together possible…

The rest of the walk was silent up to the point of Pharaoh knocking on Cassidy's door. My heart was pounding in my chest as I thought about everything that had happened… Drake had found out about Alexander and, potentially, run away… What if we never found him? What if he did something drastic because he believed that Pharaoh didn't care about him like he always thought? I shuddered at the idea of Drake doing something to himself, but… It was there, pressing into my mind…

Cassidy's door opened, and the adviser stood there, at first looking calm, but when he saw Pharaoh's face, that calm turned to bewilderment and concern. He stepped out of his room, reaching up and touching Pharaoh's face tenderly. As if brushing his fingers against the King's skin was enough to see into his thoughts and know.

"Adam?" He whispered delicately, staring wide eyed at Pharaoh. His shoulders trembled and he bowed his head slightly before speaking.

"Drake' gone. We don't know where he's at…" Cassidy's eyes widened and he looked over Pharaoh's shoulder to look at me. I nodded once, keeping silent. His arms went around Pharaoh's shoulders and he pulled the taller man close to him, comforting him gently.

"Have you searched the palace?" He asked, his voice gentle, calm and, even, reassuring. Unfortunately, I shook my head, and Cassidy glanced in my direction with a concerned frown on his face.

"He wanted to come to you first. We were going to, though…" I told him. Cassidy nodded once, pulling away from Pharaoh enough to look him in the eye, but staying close enough to hold onto him.

"We're going to find him, Adam… We will… It's going to be alright," Cassidy whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Pharaoh's lips. It wasn't romantic or anything. It was a gesture of kindness and comfort. Pharaoh whimpered softly, pulling away and glancing over his shoulder at me. I rubbed his back, leaning forward and kissing his cheek softly.

The next hour was spent with guards and servants running around, checking every room, every hall. Checking the gardens, the dungeons (though I doubted Drake would even think of going near there since Brad was there). Everywhere they looked, coming back to report to Pharaoh and Cassidy that, despite their efforts, Drake was nowhere to be found inside the palace or on the grounds.

While they searched, Pharaoh admitted that he'd found Drake tearing the library apart, smashing Alexander's statue in a great fit of rage. He told us that he tried talking to Drake, tried explaining to him, but that Drake told him he didn't want to hear any of it. He said Drake ran, and that was the last he saw of him before finding the poem and the painting.

Cassidy frowned at the mention of the poem, and Pharaoh recited the words that Drake had scrawled onto the paper, reducing the King to trembling, soft sobs. I held onto him, refusing to let go until he stopped crying. But, it seemed, with ever guard and servant that shook their heads sadly, he only cried harder and harder. I thanked those that came to us bearing the news, and I told them to look when they could, just in case. I may've only been a pleasure servant, but I was close to Pharaoh, and in a case like this, I had authority over them.

When the last few guards and servants came up, bearing the news that Drake wasn't in the palace, Pharaoh merely dropped his head, dismissing them quietly. I bit down on my lip, forcing back tears as I looked over to Pharaoh. He was trembling gently, whimpering with newfound tears. I glanced to Cassidy, seeing the adviser wearing a mask of empathy. I sighed softly, reaching over to Pharaoh and running my fingers through his hair, gently pulling his head up so I could look him in the eye.

"We're going to find him, Adam. Believe me, please." I begged gently. Pharaoh only shook, tears spilling down his face as he looked away from me. He shook his head, forcing my hand away as he leaned against the wall of Cassidy's room. After calling the search, we'd moved in here to keep out of the way of those rushing back and forth. Pharaoh slid down, sitting with his knees propped up and his arms resting on them. He bent his head forward to rest it on his arms.

"Adam?" I mumbled and he just whimpered again.

"What have I done, Tommy?" He muttered quietly. I could barely hear him. I knelt down in front of him, running my fingers through his hair again as Cassidy left the room to go talk with another guard, or something.

"You made a mistake, Adam. It's only human—" I tried to console him, but my words only made him shake more. He lifted his head, tear filled eyes staring into my soul as he whispered.

"He's gone, Tommy… What if he doesn't come back? What if we can't find him? He left here believing I don't love him. Believing that I've been using him to hold onto Alexander…" I bit down on my lip, swallowing my comments of how that used to be how he saw Drake. Pharaoh closed his eyes, more tears falling as he shook his head, "I've made a terrible mistake in not telling him. And now… Now I may never get the chance…"

My throat clenched shut for a moment and my heart throbbed in my chest. I hated seeing him so broken and defeated, but… He brought this upon himself. He didn't tell Drake the statue's meaning. He didn't tell Drake that his dead lover was a lot like him. I kept running my fingers through Pharaoh's hair, trying in vain to calm him down. But… I was so sick of him feeling sorry for himself when all he had to do was act…

I ripped my hand from his hair, causing him to look up at me for a moment. I stood to my feet, towering over Pharaoh with my hands on my hips, "Get up, Adam." I hissed at him. He frowned, his eyes wide and still filling and emptying with tears. But he didn't move.

I bent down, curling my fingers around Pharaoh's wrist and pulling him as hard as I could to his feet. He yelped as I tugged on his wrist, but he stood, falling back and leaning against the wall as I got up in his face. I may've only been a pleasure servant, but when the time called, I was not afraid to fight back and get into the Pharaoh of all Egypt's face like this.

"Stop feeling so fucking sorry, Adam. What happened has happened, and, right now, we've got a young boy wandering through the city. If you love him so damn much, stop crying and pack yourself some food and water and go look for him!" I shouted. Pharaoh's eyes wavered back and forth between mine, but he looked to shocked to speak.

"I know, Adam, I know you care about him. I know you don't see Alexander in him. I can see it in your eyes. But right now? Right now you look pathetic! Get up off your ass and start thinking about what you're going to say to him when you find him. Start thinking about the apology you're going to have to make, and for fuck's sake, if you do this to him again, I will not hesitate to maim you, and that is, in fact, a threat, Adam!" My heart was racing in my chest and I really just wanted to beat him, but I didn't. Sure, he'd been really stupid, but, more often than not, he was a smart man. He knew how to make decisions. Just not when it came to love.

"He's right, Adam," Cassidy muttered, standing in the doorway of his room. "Find him. Don't wait for him to come back." Pharaoh looked over to the adviser, staring him down for a moment before looking back to me. I was still glaring up at him, but at least I was beginning to calm down. I really had no place to strike Pharaoh, but, Ra, I wanted to…

"B-but, what if—" he began to say. Sure. I had no place. But that didn't mean it was going to stop me. Now, was I going to hit him? No. But I would make my point with something else.

I reached up, my hand curling around his jaw, my fingers digging into the skin of his face as I brought his attention forward, staring him dead in the eyes, "No but's, Adam. Either you come with me to find him, or I'm going alone. And, I promise you, if I find him and you're not with me, he's really going to think you don't give a shit for him. And I know you, Adam, you're not like that. And you're not one to let go so easily," I hissed, letting go of his face and gently pushing him back. He stumbled into the wall, staring at me with wide eyes for the longest moment before closing them.

I thought he was going to stay like that. I thought he was going to remain a silent, crying, pathetic excuse for a King. But he didn't. His eyes snapped open and they were filled with a kind of determined fire that forced a smile to stretch across my lips.

"Alright," he said. "Let's go."