Chapter 48 – Through a Childs Eyes

48.

BPOV

Seth didn't arrive at the cottage at his normal time and as I dressed Nessa she too asked where he was.

"I don't know. We'll get daddy to call him soon, find out what's keeping him, alright?" I asked her as I slipped her dress over her head.

When it came down over her I could see the tears forming in her eyes. "He might be cross with me." She hung her head and I wondered if she had worked out that in her eagerness to speak with Nathaniel last night she may have hurt Seth's feelings.

"Why do you think that?" I asked carefully pulling her down onto her bed and into my side.

She hung her head and sighed heavily. "I wanted to talk with Nathaniel; he knows things about me because he's like me. I feel better about being me when I know that the things I do Nathaniel has done too. I think Seth is cross with me because I didn't show him any memories last night, like we always do." She sobbed at the last sentence and my heart clenched for her.

I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly. I knew she was right but I understood why it was so important to her to spend time with Nathaniel too.

I could hear Edward moving around in the living room and knew that he could hear our conversation too. I wondered if he could shed any light on what had gone on last night and why Seth hadn't arrived yet today. "Okay, let me go and talk to daddy a moment. You tidy your room and put your books away and I'll be right back." I kissed her on her head and went to Edward.

He was in the kitchen making Nessa's breakfast. As I approached I could see that he was only making three short strips of bacon and one egg. Seth wouldn't be joining her this morning. I put a hand at the small of his back and he sighed. "If he's not here by the time we go to the big house I'll start phoning around for Sam." He whispered.

I let out a long breath. "Okay." I kissed his shoulder and he went back to turning over the browning bacon. I went back to Nessa's room but, of course, she'd already heard. She was sat on the end of her bed looking very, very sorry for herself. "Come on pretty girl, come and have your breakfast. We'll find him and you can say you're sorry and it will all be alright." I told her, reaching for her hand.

She looked up at me with her huge doe eyes and shook her head. "What if he's still cross with me when the Romninians come to kill us?" She'd pronounced it wrongly but her eyes said it all. She knew it all. "Will he still be cross with me when we get to heaven?" She sobbed.

Edward was there in a heartbeat. He had her around her waist and off the bed in another half a second. "You can't think that way. You can't say that. I won't let that happen Renesmee." He bellowed, startling her and making her cry louder and harder. Edward was frantic, crushing her to him, sobbing into her hair as he rocked back and forth with her in his arms. All I could do was stare. I didn't know how to answer her and I didn't know what to do for Edward. "Bella? Come here love." Edward whispered and I went into his arms too.

He held us both so tightly, all three of us sobbed against the other. The three of us shook with fear and sadness.

EPOV

I couldn't handle either of them thinking that way. I wouldn't have it. I held them tightly to me and we stood there, in Nessa's bedroom at the cottage, and I promised them both that I'd protect them. I told them both how much I loved them, how hard I was going to fight for them and for Seth.

After a little while we settled down. After the fear Nessa's words had induced in us we were reluctant let her go, but eventually we did and she sat very quietly and ate her breakfast alone. Her thoughts were only for Seth and for us. She was sorry she'd upset us but she'd wanted to know about heaven. She wanted to know that if the Romninians, as she called them, slaughtered us all would we all be together in heaven. She was most worried that Seth wouldn't be in heaven if he died as a wolf, not as a human, because her Uncle Emmett had once told her that the animals we ate went to animal heaven and she had understood that to be different from 'people heaven'.

Bella had choked her sob back as best she could and we both tried to reassure the little girl that in the very unlikely event that something happened to Seth he would be waiting for her in heaven no matter if he went as a wolf or a human. She was happier after that, less worried anyway.

It somehow made me feel worse. That she knew so much. That she'd heard and understood so much of what was going on around her, despite our attempts to shield her from it.

I wanted to ask Bella if we should just take the chance to tell her everything right now, the right way, so she didn't speculate or misunderstand anything again. But I could tell from Bella's posture and her strained face that now wasn't the time for such discussions.

Instead I told Nessa that we would protect her from whatever came for us, no matter if it was the Romninians or something else in the future, that both her mother and I would always protect her, and Seth, and that she didn't need to worry about heaven or being apart from Seth because I was sure, that everyone was sure, that we'd be fine.

She said thank you to me and I could read from her thoughts that she was thanking me for protecting Seth as well as her.

After that I left Bella to clean our little kitchen while I began trying to find Seth on the Rez. When I failed to find him either with Sam or at his own house I had to tell Nessa that I'd try again a little later on in the day.

It was a very, very quiet walk to the big house that Friday morning.

BPOV

The big house was teeming with the news of new arrivals when we got there, late, that morning.

We went in through the back door and were instantly greeted by a very tall, very lean and very loud Australian vampire named Jonathon. He marched right up to me and hugged me!

Edward was growling steadily at my side as the new vampire let me go. "I'm Jonathon. You've gotta be Bella. You've gotta be Nessa and you just have to be Eddie. Randall's told me all about you's." He held his hand out for Edward to shake and I waited for the obligatory 'don't call me Eddie', but it never came. Instead he kept Jonathon's hand in his and growled again. Jonathon laughed and took his hand back. "Yeah, Randall's told me all about you." He nodded at Edward and I couldn't help but giggle.

Edward shot me a 'look' and I stopped laughing. Nessa moved to stand in front of me and she looked up at the towering vampire and smiled widely. "Do you have a pet kangaroo?" She asked in her lilting voice.

The entire room burst into laughter at her precocious question. Jonathon smiled warmly and clapped his hands together. "No, I don't. But my friend Ethan over there had a pet cockatoo once. Go and ask him to show you where it bit his finger off." He laughed again and Nessa gasped.

She looked first to Edward who was silent and scowling, and then to me. I nodded and she ran off to make Ethan's acquaintance. I looked up at Jonathon and he was still smiling. "Thank you." I whispered and he nodded.

"Don't mention it. It's all good. I thought things might be a bit tense when we got here, thought I'd loosen it up a bit." He nodded towards Edward then turned back to me. "You allowed to talk to other blokes or is he gonna growl at me for the next week and a half?"

I looked at Edward who looked black as thunder, just as he always did when I spoke with Randall. I elbowed him in the ribs but he didn't move or say a word. I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I'm allowed to speak to whoever I want. Just like he is." I laughed.

"Good. So, I'm Jonathon, like I said, oh and I'm a water leech, thought I should tell you that straight off. Randall says you're a shield. Pretty cool, never met one of them before. Come and meet my mates. There's Ethan, the one with the missing finger, and that's Melinda. You'll like her, she's new, like you." And then I was whisked off to meet the other two Australians, Ethan and Melinda, leaving Edward to stand and stare at them with ill concealed loathing.

Edward eventually snapped out of his jealous fit when he realised that the Australians weren't hitting on me and that they were just really, really friendly. I wondered if he'd give Randall a break now. Everyone loved the Aussies, instantly. Ethan really did lose a finger to a cockatoo – which I learned was a huge white parrot native to Australia and that they were vicious 'sons of bitches' - and Jonathon was right in that I did like Melinda. It was a novelty for me to meet someone who was actually younger than I was. Not by much though, a few months, but it still felt good to have some seniority, however slim the thread was.

She was a bubbly blonde with a wicked sense of humour and she fit in instantly. Our Rosie and Alice especially liked her and the four of us had a great time laughing and giggling like the school girls we really were.

There was only one tense moment that morning when Jasper asked Jonathon to explain his talent for the assembled group so they could slot him into their strategies.

"Oh right, yeah, I guess I should explain a bit. Well, um, it's pretty simple. Say we're standing around having your average fight and I decide I want to end you, right? I just conjure up some water from the ground, doesn't need to be anything special, just ordinary dirt although it doesn't work if we're standing on ice, weird huh?" His nasal twang was infectious. I could listen to him for hours, even if he was just reading the instructions to my cell phone! "So you're standing there and I get some water out of the ground and when it's pooled at your feet I twist my wrist, like this, and I freeze it, and you, to the spot. Then I knock your block off. Real easy." He finished his story with a dusting of his hands, just like the job was finished.

I shuddered. Renata squeaked in fright.

Jonathon looked around the room at the startled faces and smirked. "Sorry." He shrugged. "But we've come to fight, so I thought you should know."

EPOV

I hated Jonathon, I hated Ethan and his bloody missing finger that had enthralled my daughter and I hated Australians. Okay, not all of them, Melinda was sweet and my wife and sisters already adored her. So maybe I was just going to be predisposed to hating Australian males? It was going to be unbearable here when Randall arrived in a few days time.

It was hard to say what I was least looking forward to, Randall arriving or Eleazar. Probably Eleazar.

At midday rumblings were being made to head out for the days fighting lessons. The wolves would meet our group in the clearing, so vampires began running from the house in pairs or threes.

The Australians were eager to learn all they could from Jasper and Peter and also from Lu Hu. Again I was left at the big house with my daughter, Alice, Liam and Tu. Carlisle and Esme headed off to the hospital, as was their routine of late.

Nessa wanted to swim so Alice took her up to her room to get her changed into her swimming things. We were ready to go to the pool house when my cell rang. Bella.

"What's wrong?" I shouted into the little silver phone.

"Nothing, calm down darling." She told me firmly. "Seth's not shown up. Sam says he hasn't seen him and Sue said he left early this morning but he's not anywhere on the Rez. He hasn't phased because Sam can't hear his thoughts." She sounded panicked.

"Okay, leave it with me. I'll find him. I promise. Call back if he turns up there for the lessons."

I snapped my phone shut and went to find Alice. Of course she had no idea where he was, she couldn't see him or anyone at the Rez or in the clearing, but I needed her to watch Nessa while I went to find him. She said she would.

Nessa came to me then. She wrapped her little arms around my legs and with a sad pout she asked me to please find her Sethy and bring him to the big house. I told her I'd do my very best. With a last kiss on her head I ran out into the forest searching for a lost wolf.

I went to the Rez first but got no joy. The scents swirled there, fresh covering old, and there was no discernable scent to follow away from the place. I tried the garage, First Beach, doubled back by the clearing and kept to the trees to see if I could cross his scent there. I couldn't.

I went into town next. I ran behind the shopping strip sticking to the trees that backed onto the one way street. He hadn't been there, at least not in the trees. I walked down the main street at a human pace just to rule out his scent anywhere there. There was nothing. Every few minutes I tried his cell phone, each time I got his voice mail. I left three very concerned messages and then one stern one telling him I was getting pissed off having to search for him and he should just fucking call me back, now. He didn't.

I was considering asking Dieter for his assistance when I crossed Seth's scent on the road leading towards my home. I followed it but instead of turning right to go towards the cottage it lead me to the school grounds and that's where I found him. Sitting in the bleachers at the school, head in hands, sobbing his heart out.

He smelled my approach so he tried his best to hide his tears from me as I made my way up to the top row of seats. "You don't need to go through this alone, son." I said quietly as I reached out a hand to him. He took it, held mine, I felt him shivering. "We're all losing it, it's nothing to be ashamed of." I told him as I read his self loathing in his thoughts.

"I'm so scared. I'm a pussy." He cried, clinging to my hand.

He was so big I often forgot that he was still a boy. He towered over me now, easily six feet five inches in height and his body weight was probably double mine now. He was solid, he was strong and he was sobbing like the child that he was.

I leapt the seat that separated us and took him into my arms. I held him and let him cry as I listened to his thoughts.

"There's no shame in crying Seth. We all would, if we could. Don't think I don't go home to the cottage at night and sob into Bella's shoulder because I fucking do. I know you hear us at night, you have to. They all do, every single one of the group, they all spend their nights terrified Seth. You don't need to go through this alone." I held him tighter and let him cry it out.

Eventually he stilled and calmed. I let him go then and we sat on the bleachers and talked about everything. Right from back at the start. We went over everything. I promised him I was doing everything I could to protect him and he admitted to me that he was scared of the coming fight, that he'd much rather run away with her, with us, if we wanted to go. I told him I wished that was a viable option and explained why it wasn't. He accepted that for what it was, a false hope.

When he was suitably calm I asked him to come home with me. He looked pained and in his thoughts he was thinking how he couldn't handle another night of Nessa ignoring him. "She won't, she's been asking for you all day, she's very sorry for the way she behaved last night. She wants to apologise. Please, come home, let her say she's sorry. Come for Bella and me too, we've been worried too." I threw in for good measure, knowing that if I said Bella was worried he'd come. He did.

The house was once again filled with visitors when we got back there. The fighting lesson was over and I could hear everyone strategising again in the dining room as Seth and I approached from the back yard.

Nessa flew at him and flung herself up into his arms as we came through the back door. "Sethy! My Sethy!" She yelled into his shoulder as he hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry Sethy, I was mean, but I didn't mean to be."

'Oh thank god...Nessa...thank god...I can't lose you...I love you.' Seth chanted in his thoughts, all anger and disappointment gone as he held her to him. I had to look away for a moment. Watching their reunion twisted my gut. I'd never heard him say he loved her before. Of course I knew he did. I'd never doubted it. But hearing it destroyed me. Not because I didn't want him to love her, but because they may never get the chance to truly be 'in love' if we failed.

Bella was beside me in a second, her hand sliding into mine. "They'll be fine now. Come away, come on." She tugged me back out the back door and pulled me around the side of the pool house, into the shadows there.

She backed me up until I was up against the windows at the far end of the pool and then she put her fingers into my hair and pulled my mouth down to hers. I let her do it. I needed it.

Her tongue pressed for entry and I parted my lips to allow it. I groaned when her tongue met mine and they began to dance with each other. I slid my arms around her and held her to me tightly.

When the kiss softened and I could pull away slightly I began to whisper against her lips. "I love you Isabella. Thank you for knowing I needed to leave."

She smiled, I could feel the gentle curve of her lips against mine. "You're welcome baby. Everyone's on edge. We can't forget that means Nessa and Seth too. Two more weeks and this will all be over Edward."

"God I hope so." I took her lips again then, losing myself in her warm, wet mouth.

BPOV

I knew he was struggling. I could see it on his face and in his eyes as he brought Seth back to our daughter. I'd watched Nessa and Seth's reunion too and I knew how desperately it hurt to see them frantic to be together again.

Her sadness and fear in the cottage this morning had seeped into both Edward and I. I couldn't shake the panic I felt now that I was aware just how much she knew about our situation. She was as frightened for Seth as he was for her. That's why she'd thrown herself at him just now and it was also why he clung to her the way he did. It was why he'd buried his nose into her hair and more than likely had thought something that had made Edward wince.

I'd seen his face as our daughter clutched Seth tightly. I watched the pain in his eyes as Seth had held her to his chest and stroked her hair.

I knew they loved each other, I'd long since come to terms with that, but the agony I felt each time I thought that this might be the end of us all made my knees buckle. If Edward had felt that too, then I knew the anguish he was feeling.

I'd only had Edward for two and a half years myself, it was never going to be enough. If I had him for another hundred it still wouldn't be enough. We had so much to do, so much left to see, so much to do with Nessa. She was only a third of the way through growing herself and I desperately wanted to see her grown and having a life of her own. I wanted her to have the chances I had, to have with Seth what I have with her father.

I poured all this into the kiss as I pressed Edward hard up against the pool house windows. I ground myself into him, I pushed my breasts up against his chest and I pushed my thigh through his legs and rubbed him unashamedly. There was so little time left. I didn't want to waste a single moment. "I need you Edward." I growled into the corner of his mouth.

"The boathouse." He growled in return. He kissed me solidly once more on my mouth and then we were running. Fast. Hand in hand towards the boat shed at the edge of the river.

He snapped the lock on the door and threw it open. He pulled me through it and slammed it shut again with his foot as he pulled me up to his chest. He kissed me then slung me over his back as he took a mighty leap up onto the deck of the boat. He kissed me again as he put me back onto my feet and then he pulled me by the hand again down the little steps and into the cabin.

He threw me down onto the bed and shucked his clothing off. I knew he was only being careful with it because we had to go back to the house, but he was quick all the same. I took the chance and pulled off my jersey and slid my skirt off over my hips. I threw them both on the floor at the side of the bed and reached behind my back for the clasp of my bra. Once I had it off my arms I went to tug my panties off.

"Don't." He growled as he stalked across the bed towards me. I looked up at him, trying to work out why he didn't want me to take them off. His eyes were as black as night, the pupils and irises no different from each other. As he crawled up between my knees he dipped his head and blew his warm breath threw the cotton of my panties and onto my already super heated flesh. I let my head loll back and I sighed. He hooked a finger into the leg of the panties and tugged them aside. He gave me one gigantic lick from bottom to top and then one tiny nip of his teeth on my clit and then he was inside me. He held my panties aside with his finger and pushed himself to the hilt into me. As his lips found mine I groaned in pleasure and felt him shiver.

'Mine...Bella...mine...' He growled in his thoughts. 'This can't be the end...I won't let it be baby... mine...forever, I'm supposed to have you forever...' He was panicking while he made love to me and I choked back a sob.

He stilled then. Stopped all movement and hovered above me with sad eyes. "It's okay Edward." I whispered.

He withdrew himself from me and let himself fall to my chest. "I'm sorry baby. So sorry." He lost himself in the curve of my throat and I felt him go slack in my arms as he sobbed into my skin.

He didn't need to stay inside me for me to know what the problem was. It was fear. His fear had overwhelmed him just now. It had been bubbling below the surface for weeks and it had finally become too much.

I understood that. I felt it too.

"Shhh. You've nothing to be sorry for my love. Shhh." I ran my fingers through his hair and tried to soothe him as best I could. "It's okay, we'll be okay. There are so many of us Edward, we'll all protect them." I kissed the top of his head and held him tight.

"I can't lose you, I waited so long, and I was so patient." He whimpered against my throat.

"Edward please. Listen to me, I'm not going anywhere, please, listen to me love?" I begged of him when it became apparent that his panic attack wasn't going to subside. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and cradled him in my arms against my chest. "There has to be sixty odd vampires coming to town over the next few days and even if we discount the wolves that's an impressive stand we'll make. It doesn't matter how many the Romanians bring, we'll be ready. We'll fight like there's no tomorrow Edward, we won't let anything happen to the wolves or Nessa. Shhh, it'll be alright, I know it." I kissed his hair and felt him calm slightly.

It may have been false bravado on my behalf, but I owed it to him to be as brave as I could in the coming weeks.

EPOV

She did her best to calm me but I was too far gone. The instant I'd gotten inside her my panic had come to the fore and I'd been powerless to stop the horrible thoughts that this might be one of the last times I ever make love to my wife.

I listened to her when she asked me to and I knew, rationally, that we'd make a decent stand, but a big part of me knew the risk we were taking by standing up for ourselves and the wolves.

Part of me knew that the easier route would be to forsake the pack and run, with Nessa, and disavow ourselves of any knowledge of any wolves. I was ashamed to say I'd considered it. I was ashamed to know that my brain had been thinking it even as I watched my daughter and her beloved Seth. What good was having Nessa alive and well though if I doomed her to a life without her mate? I knew just what that felt like, how easy it would be for her to give up if it came to that. She'd not want to live without Seth and I didn't want to watch her have to try.

As I listened to Bella plead with me I let go of the panic and let it fall aside. I had her now, I had Nessa now. We'd fight. We'd fight hard. Even if the Romanians bought fifty we'd fight hard. There had to be twenty of us with gifts, each in their own right able to be of some use, we just had to organise ourselves in such a way that we could defend ourselves and fight off the Romanians at the same time.

All this came to me as I lay there in Bella's arms. It was a revelation wrapped up in a plan.

I got up onto my knees and looked down at the beauty beneath me. "You're right." I kissed her ruby lips and smiled. "You're right. We aren't without defences, we aren't without might. We'll fight so fucking hard they'll wonder what the fuck they've walked into." I bellowed into the night.

Her smile was radiant.

"Welcome back, baby." She crooned and reached for me.

I took her then, again. And it was frantic and passionate and we came with a frenzied roar, together, as we should be.

I welcomed the fight that would once and for all free us from this fear.

BPOV

Nobody said anything about our absence but I think Edward copped some shtick silently from Emmett for it. Edward took it well. He laughed a little and allowed Emmett to fist bump him before they both went back to their conversations.

Aro and Edward were locked into a debate about the advantages – and disadvantages – of the vegetarian lifestyles. Aro still didn't sound completely convinced he was up to the job but after a light ribbing from Tanya, during which they kissed passionately right in front of Edward, Aro said he was willing to continue to try. Edward was beaming the whole time.

Emmett was speaking with Dieter about his tracking escapades.

I was sitting between Anna and Siobhan chatting about Nessa's growth and her schooling and was keeping one eye on Edward just in case he broke down again when I saw him stiffen and flare his nostrils. I was about to leap up and ask what the problem was when he smiled. A radiant, full faced smile. He turned then, searched for me in the crowd and when he found me he smiled again. He nodded towards the front door and I watched as Carlisle ushered the Amazon women into the house.

Nessa leapt off the ottoman, dislodging the Xbox controller from Seth's hands, and ran towards Zafrina. The dark skinned vampire wasn't at all surprised or shocked and she bent down to collect the excited little girl in her arms.

"Ahh, precious Renesmee, you have grown. It is good to see you my little friend." She kissed Nessa on her cheek and waited while Nessa returned the gesture. She set Nessa back on her feet then knelt down to Nessa's level. "I hope you've been practising, we'll have a lesson, yes?"

Nessa's teeth emerged with an impish grin as she nodded at the imposing woman. I wondered what it was that Nessa had been practising but was drawn out of my thoughts by Zafrina herself as she pulled me to my feet and hugged me tightly.

"It's so good to see you Zafrina." I told her honestly.

"And you." The giant woman said in her halting English. "It is no good what they wish to do to your family. We will fight." She announced, making Edward beam and Carlisle sigh.

"Thank you." I whispered and squeezed her hand.

Senna and Kachiri came further into the room at Zafrina's urging and soon a loud round of introductions and greetings was had.

By my count that made thirty-six vampires at the house. All willing to fight for my daughter and our wolf friends. With the wolves that was an army of forty-six. Our strength was growing every day.

EPOV

As our newest guests came into the house Carlisle slipped away and up into my suite. I stayed in the living room only long enough to greet the three women and then I went to him.

His thoughts were filled with his worries and about the bloodshed that now seemed unavoidable. I wanted to comfort him but he already knew I welcomed the coming fight. I didn't want to disappoint him but I had to do what was right for my family, even though that meant going against what he thought was right for his.

He was right where I thought he'd be, in exactly the position I knew he'd be in. Sitting in Renesmee's rocker with his head in his hands, his thoughts in turmoil.

'Please don't.' He thought as I came more fully into the room.

I sat on the window ledge in silence. Every few minutes he sighed. At one point I thought he may be about to speak rather than continue to run through his thoughts silently, but he merely shook his head and sighed again. Esme was beginning to worry about us up here in silence and she was trying to think of a reason to come and check on us. She hoped Alice might be able to shed some light on what was going on, seeing as we were not speaking, but of course with Seth in the room Alice had no hope.

"Esme will come up soon." I told him.

He raised his eyes to meet mine and I could see the sadness in them. He was resigned to what was going to happen but still clinging to the vague hope that it could be resolved without violence. 'They're all so eager to fight.' He told me mentally, cringing again.

"They are. I'm sorry that hurts you the way it does." I told him honestly.

He nodded minutely but returned his head to his hands. "I can't condone it." He mumbled.

"I know."

"I lived with them for forty years, they are a part of who I am, they taught me to be what I am." He went on. "I might have chosen a different path but I still owe them, I should still be loyal to them. It feels like treason to stand against them." He whispered.

The talking downstairs was a mere whisper now as every mind in the house, including Renesmee's, was trying to concentrate on what Carlisle was saying. Each of them wanted to know why Carlisle felt the way he did, they all hoped to gain a better understanding about why his dislike for violence was as strong as it was.

I wished they could all know him like I did. Know the real man, not the head of a coven or even the surgeon, but the man he was now and the man he was when he first made me. Carlisle's dislike of violence wasn't about the Romanians; it wasn't even about right and wrong. It was about what Carlisle did day in and day out.

Before he was changed he knew he wanted to help people. After he was changed he fought what he was so that he might still be able to do that. It took him half a century to master it, a daily struggle that he relished if it meant he could practise medicine.

He saw the effects of violence every day. In every town we'd ever lived in, in every hospital he'd ever worked in, in every shelter and free clinic he'd ever volunteered in it was the same. Violence bred misery. For the victim, for the perpetrator and for those who had to pick up the pieces. Nobody ever won when violence was involved.

Put simply he didn't want to be a monster.

"If we don't stand against them they will slaughter my child and her mate." I said it very carefully, very firmly.

"I know." He nodded.

"Carlisle, I have stood by your side for a hundred years. You made me what I am and I want you to know that the pain you are feeling now I feel too, because it is a type of treason for me to go against you in this. But I have to. We have to. All of us." I pled, I begged for him to stand beside me and protect my family, with me, not for me, but with me.

"What would you have me do Edward? Put aside all that I believe in and condone this fight? For three hundred years I've fought against my nature for destruction. For three hundred years I've worked hard to maintain a peaceful life." He was lost, desperate for answers, desperate for a reason to stand beside me. He couldn't justify this in his mind and could see no way to make good the promises he'd made to himself and to us when he'd changed us. He didn't want to be a monster.

The house was totally silent now. All breath held while we spoke.

I took a deep breath. "If you don't fight there will be no peaceful life to be had, father." I said formally, trying to show him the respect I had for him and for his feelings. He let his hands fall away and he widened his eyes at me as what I'd said seeped into his brain. "The time for passivity has long since passed." I whispered.

"I know." He rasped. "Tell me what you need me to do Edward." He knew he was left with no choice other than to fight, he just didn't want to have to do it. I didn't either, but I'd come to terms with it a lot sooner than he had.

Now it was my turn to open my eyes wide with shock. He was deferring to me? He was asking me what to do? He wanted my guidance?

"I need you to stand beside me as I fight for my child. I want it to be your hand on my shoulder as we face them. I want your allegiance as you have mine, in all things. But most of all I want you to know that I love and respect you and that I am so very sorry that we have to fight at all." I bowed my head and sighed.

He thought about it for a moment and then, as a collective breath was held downstairs he left his chair and came to stand beside me. "It will be my hand at your shoulder, son."

I put my hand on his and squeezed. We'd fight.

BPOV

I let out my held breath and slumped back into the sofa. Poor Carlisle. He'd had to give in, give up all his principles, to keep my daughter safe.

I leapt off the seat and went to Nessa. She sat wide eyed on the ottoman, Seth at her feet as they played their video game. I pulled her to her feet, "Come with me please little one." I asked her and she nodded. I think she wanted, or needed, to be with Carlisle as much as I did. "You too Seth, come on." He got to his feet and took my other hand.

We went up to the suite and found them both in Nessa's room. Edward sat on the window seat, his father stood beside him with his hand on Edward's shoulder. They both looked lost. So sad that it had to come to this.

I held back, knowing I wanted to hug them both but not knowing if we should intrude on the moment. Seth knew though, he strode into the room and held his hand out for Carlisle, who took it immediately. Seth looked first at Edward and then back to Carlisle. "Thank you." He whispered.

Carlisle closed his eyes and nodded but said nothing. Seth let his hand go and offered it to Edward, who clasped it tightly and nodded at the boy.

Nessa ran to her grandfather then. She flung herself at his chest and he caught her easily. He did as we all did and buried his nose in her neck and hair. "Are you okay Pa?" She asked as she pulled her face back away from him. She didn't wait for him to answer, she just kissed his cheek and smiled teeth and all. "It's okay you know, my daddy and my Sethy are going to have a big fight with the Romninians but then we'll all be okay again." She looked over Carlisle's shoulder to her father and smiled again. "But if we aren't, that's okay too, because we'll all be together in heaven, right daddy?" She looked to Edward again but he was aghast, mouth hanging open, pain and fear etched onto his normally serene features.

"That's right honey, we'll all be together, no matter what." I told her when I saw that Edward was incapable.

It didn't matter what any of us believed right now, even though I knew that Carlisle himself believed in the existence of heaven. All that mattered was that Renesmee could understand the information given to her and use it to cope. Nothing else mattered. Her safety, her protection, her peace of mind. It's what we all wanted, no matter what.

Carlisle just stared at her. I wish I could've heard his thoughts at that moment and wondered what Edward was hearing. Carlisle kissed Nessa on her cheek and smiled grimly. "You're right sweetheart. We'll fight the nasty Romninians and no matter what we'll be together, even in heaven." He kissed her again and then tucked her back under his chin.

He closed his eyes and rocked her back and forth. I stepped to the side and put my hand in Seth's. He was trembling slightly but I could tell he wasn't upset. It was just the emotion in the room, I felt that too. I pulled him with me as I made my way to where Edward sat. I took his hand in my other one and I stood with my husband and my daughters mate and watched as my sire found comfort in my daughters embrace.

We'd fight.


A/N: Thank you for reading. The preparations are well under way for the family.

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