Hi everyone,

Your reviews have been SO wonderful, thank you from the very bottom of my heart. This chapter is a bit of an epic for you, and I hope you enjoy it. I can't wait to hear what you think.

Love to all of you; old, new, and stalking!

MM -x


"Well, that was a well kept secret." Haldir knocked on the door of the main healing house, sticking his head around the side. "I was sparring with my brother and spotted the ring. It was enough to distract me and Orophin won our bout for the first time in hundreds of years." I heard his laughter but spotted the torn and bloody tunic at his side and rolled my eyes.

"Let me clean that, you idiot." I gestured for him to take off his tunic and he did so – the gash was a long one but fairly shallow. "Seriously? That much of a surprise?" I tutted, gathering the things I would need.

"I thought it would be a hundred years at least before they would finally wed." Haldir looked a little bewildered as I manoeuvred him to the bed.

"You have so little faith in him. Stay still." I dabbed a little of the cleaning fluid I'd recently prepared – mostly a saline solution with a little Athelas – and he hissed as his face twisted into a grimace. As I cleaned it I found a deeper spot where Orophin's sword had first caught him, and made a noise somewhere between a cluck and a hiss as my brows knitted – he would need a stitch or two there to help it knit cleanly.

"That noise means stitches. Why do all healers have the same rote of gestures and huffs? Is it so that you may speak to one another without words and take your patients to task whilst they are unaware?" His voice was low and his brows rose as I prodded his arm.

"Shut up, on your side. I want to try something with you." I hadn't had much chance to try out some of the salves Osellë and I had created with some of my knowledge from the future, and I fished out a bottle of oil made from cloves as well as one of my needles and thread I'd sterilised.

"The deep joy I feel at being experimented upon cannot truly be conveyed in words." He drawled as he laid on the bed, tunic off and looking rather too distracting. I let him see my smirk before I dabbed the liquid on his skin and he yelped before trying to wriggle away. "What is that? By the Valar." I sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his wrists as he made to wipe it off.

"Clove oil, amongst other things. It should act as a topical anaesthetic to help make stitches less painful, therefore easier to do and with cleaner results." His blank expression amused me and I giggled, kissing his forehead before turning to examine the wound after a few minutes had passed. "It will make your skin go numb so you don't feel the needle as much." I translated and his brows rose then, gesturing for me to continue. I carefully began to make the first stitch, and to my pleasure Haldir remained completely still – even the most seasoned of warriors would flinch when being stitched.

"Remarkable. There is still pain, but it is not so sharp." He said with wonder.

"That was the plan. It should sort of feel like being tattooed." I said absently, and felt Haldir's vast confusion. "Remember the piercings I had when I first arrived? That was nothing compared to what people will do to themselves. We'll begin to use our bodies like a canvas, drawing on it in permanent patterns. It's done with a tattoo machine, which places ink in a specific layer of your skin really quickly with lots of tiny needles." I explained.

"My friend Sam from before said it felt kind of like a weird pressure because it vibrates, and being scratched over and over." I'd been there when he'd had it done, egging him on. He had wanted something themed like the sea, because he'd grown up in Cornwall right by the coast and he wanted it to remind him of home. It had rolled like waves – deep black fading through blues and greens, and splatters of colour everywhere. I had been so envious, but too terrified of the thought of something so permanent on my skin to ever have one myself.

"Why?" He was incredulous.

"Why not? Art is art, no matter where you draw." I shrugged, tying the last stitch in a careful knot and wrapping a few lengths of bandage about his torso once he'd sat up. "There, done. You can go do whatever it is you planned to do with the rest of your day."

"Your time is stranger and stranger to me, the more I hear." Haldir shook his head. "No matter; I hoped to plan something for my brother and Osellë, if you have no others vying for your time this evening?" I stared at him, brows raised.

"My only actual friends are Osellë and Nerwen, and Nerwen is in a foul mood after Osellë lost our bet yesterday. She had to tell her to take it easy, she's into the second half of her pregnancy and if she doesn't slow down she's going to hurt herself or the baby." I clarified when he looked a little confused.

"Ah yes, your little run. Why did you do so?"

I toyed with not telling him, but I decided that I needed someone else on side with me to help look after my tempestuous friend. "She's been suffering with nightmares, like Tori and I do sometimes but more like J does." I sat down next to him, offering him a slight smile.

"Ah, I see – your conversation yesterday. How does she fare?" Haldir asked and I leaned against his shoulder, careful not to put too much weight on his side.

"Reckon she'll be going with Lady Galadriel." I let out a huff of air, and he shifted to put an arm around me. "And seeing as Orophin has managed to get her to agree to marry him, I suspect he'll be following her. That means if they wait the full year, we won't see them marry if we stay here."

We'd not spoken about this, and I knew it was a conversation we needed to have. He of course knew my sister planned to leave, and my parents too, but neither of us had dared to broach the topic of what we could do. Now with one of my best friends and his brother potentially leaving too, I knew now was as good a time as any to discuss what would happen in the future.

Haldir remained silent beside me for a while, still but for the fingers that were drawing patterns against my hip absently. "It is a strange feeling, Benny. I have no desire to sail, even though I know that my brother shall go and see my family once more. I feel that there is yet more that I should do here in Middle Earth, though the Lady will leave."

"Me too. I've known for a little while J would probably sail, but even with Mum and Dad going I know this place still feels like home to me. I want to be there for Arwen if she needs me, and Lord Celeborn will stay in East Lorien for a while after." I put my hand on his knee, turning my head to look up at him. "Shall we move, then? To East Lorien, I mean. Legolas won't set up the colony in Ithilien for a little while yet; he's still helping with the rebuild of Gondor and traipsing all over the place with Gimli."

"I have no opposition. A few homes have been built and more are completed each day, so if you desire to be closer to your kin I would be happy to follow." His face held a gentle expression, eyes warm silver. "I go there next week to map patrols, so I could arrange for a home for us if you wish?"

"Yeah, go on then." I bumped him teasingly, and he returned the gesture. "Are you sure? Lothlorien has been your home far longer than it has been mine. I don't really have a home except with you." I said practically and I felt the flutter of warmth come from him when I'd made reference to my home with him.

"True, and I shall miss these woods which have been so dear to me. Yet I find the thought does not wound me too deeply, for the world is a different one and I would like to see more of it." He looked curious and I felt his contentment, which surprised me. "I shall help to manage East Lorien with Celeborn, I think, and in his stead should he travel elsewhere whilst still he remains here."

"Not that there's really much to manage. For the most part, we are rather adept at managing ourselves." Haldir nodded.

"Precisely. Lord Celeborn shall manage the individuals and trade, and I shall manage our safety. Whilst most of Sauron's fell beasts are gone, there are still occasional skirmishes and to inhabit that place where Dol Guldur once stood is to hold out one's hands and ask for an attack."

"Same job, different title?" I queried with a grin, earning a sharp jab where his hand rested against my hip. "Mean."

"Aye, and a deal more paperwork I should not wonder." He snorted then, standing and carefully pulling on his tunic again. "What time do you finish today?" He asked and I glanced out of the window. Winter meant darker days, but it was now still quite light.

"I don't know – you're the second person I've seen all day but if elves are entertaining themselves sparring I imagine you won't be the first casualty. I'll finish when it gets dark, and lock up. I have a few salves I could make and equipment I could sterilise." I let my legs swing, bumping against the solid box of the bed.

"I shall see you at home, love." He pressed a kiss to my forehead, to my nose, and then to my lips. "I shall make sure all know of your ointment that numbs the skin!"

"Ah, fabulous, it worked?" I heard Osellë's voice and I bounded off the bed, launching myself at her so she staggered backwards with a giddy laugh. "Ah, such a greeting – it appears our happy news was not kept secret for long."

I thumped her arm. "That is for Orophin trying to skewer Haldir. Now, show me the shiny!" I exclaimed, and Haldir laughed as he passed me by with his hands raised in defeat.

"You are such strange creatures. Enjoy your afternoon, and congratulations... oh, bother to you both, I will see you this evening." He trotted down the stairs and over one of the bridges, and I went back to examining the silver ring. It was polished to a high shine, and a single star-shaped diamond was embedded in it.

"So lovely, I'm so happy for you. What did Nerwen say?"

"She still does not speak to me, though I heard her giggling through her tears. She shall come around, I am certain."

"You know, when I saw her earlier she didn't say anything." I pulled her in and sat on one of the beds with crossed legs. "Though she looked completely mutinous. What did you say to her?" I laughed and she joined me, legs folded beneath her underneath her warm winter dress.

"I told her quite frankly that if she did not keep her behind firmly planted for six hours a day then I shall drug her." Osellë examined her nails.

"You're a cruel woman; I like it." I knew full well the strength of the brews she made to induce sleep – used on me before my wedding – and so felt a stab of pity for Nerwen despite my amusement. "Hopefully, it will work."

"Taeglyn assures me he will keep a weather eye on her. Will you come to dinner tonight? I understand that Haldir is in the midst of planning something."

"I will be; I'll lock up here when it gets dark." Osellë fished around in the pockets of her cloak and pulled out a deck of cards.

"I shall keep you company, in that case. I have not truly had a chance to speak to you in some time!" she dealt the cards as we sat together on the bed, and I heard the patter of rain begin on the roof. "How was the wedding?"

"Oh my God, I nearly got myself banished from Mirkwood." I snickered and she looked amused.

"It surprises me not. Tell me, how did you manage to upset the King? I hear his temper is particularly fearsome. Stick or twist?"

I looked at my cards thoughtfully. "Thranduil was being positively vile towards Tori. You know he always wanted me to marry Legolas? I'm sure I told you. Twist."

"Ah, I see." She handed me a card and I wrinkled my nose, putting my cards down. "Risky twist, you never do seem to learn." I took the pack and dealt the next hand. "So, you told King Thranduil in no uncertain terms it would not have been a match at any time, and that he really should accept our honorary guard?"

"Pretty much. Stick or twist?" I asked, my face totally straight.

"Twist. Twist. And twist. Oh, damn it!" She cried and I grinned, placing down my twenty-one. A thunderous crash above us made me jump out of my skin and then I smiled, feeling the electricity of the storm that was incoming.

"I love a good storm." A flash illuminated the room, followed again by a boom. Osellë stood and peered out of the window, and then came back in again with a slightly damp face.

"As do I. The air always seems fresher afterwards, the atmosphere less heavy." She sat opposite me again, flopping back onto the bed with a light thud. "Orophin has said he will sail with me. I spoke to Elanor last night of it, and she has said she will come too. Nothing there is for her here, and she would ensure Jade has a friendly face outside of her family."

"She'll appreciate that. Thranduil was a little scornful of Glorfindel's marriage so I don't expect it will get any easier for them." I fretted, and Osellë pushed herself up, hair a messy blonde halo about her.

"We shall look after her, as always we have. Do not worry, dearest." She patted my knee in a gesture of support. "The Lady would not see her own come to any hurt. She stood for them at their binding and I have no doubt she would not permit any slight against them. You have become one of our own, Bernadette, much that you state you have no home. Your home is in the woods, in the trees, and it is with us." She took my hands.

"If you apologise for the river thing again, I'll hurt you." I laughed and she did the same, giving me a great hug. "Now, deal."

The rain that day had been one of many storms that we would see over the next few months as the seasons changed. Spring had come after a particularly soggy winter – I'd even launched myself into great drifts of snow which had amused Haldir to no end, until I'd thrown a snowball at the back of his head. He'd just come back from a month in East Lorien planning rotations and finding us a home, so he was happy to join in with my antics. However, I learned very quickly that he had far, far better aim than me, and that his throws came with some serious force. It disgruntled me that he was as deadly with a ball of snow as he was with a bow.

As soon as the days became longer towards the middle of February, I decided it was time to find out just where he'd planned for us to live. "I want to go see this house you've picked for us." I advised Haldir, who looked up from his maps with a frown.

"I shan't have the time to accompany you. If you go, it is on your own head." He warned me – I'd expected it might be the case.

"Pointy things in hand, of course." I indicated to the long-knife Dad had given me which lived beside his sword and bow. Haldir's brows rose but he said nothing as I packed my things on a little bit of a whim. "I miss Tori, sweet." I kissed his head and leaned over his shoulder, looking at the map. "Where's this home of ours?"

"Here. Take Morandir, and do stay safe." He said with a sigh. "I know you are able to defend yourself, but if you see trouble coming please run from it."

"Duly noted." I saluted, memorising where he pointed on the map.

"How long will you be gone?" He asked, standing to hug me. "It is unusual for you to be the one leaving me! I fear I shall not become used to it."

"I don't know; a month, maybe two? It's Tori's Birthday next week so I thought it might be fun if I could surprise her. Of course, this all depends on how long it is before the King finds out I'm there." I grimaced and Haldir chuckled.

"I wish you luck. Stay safe my love, and I shall see you in a few months." His lips captured mine then in a searching kiss, and proceeded to keep me distracted from my journey for the remainder of the evening.

I spent two months in East Lorien quite happily with Tori, who I learned with pride Haldir had nominated as the Captain of the Guard, and the time flew. Legolas had made himself known on a number of occasions, and in our own strange tradition I'd found the best trees to launch myself from onto his back. Tori had found it hilarious, and took to making sure Legolas was distracted enough that I truly surprised him each and every time.

When April came around, I could finally stand back and say that the little talan Haldir had found for us was truly a home. I'd sat with Tori sewing fluttering sea-green curtains by hand for hours and hours, purchasing furniture and other essentials we would need.

"Bernadette? What in the name of the Valar are you doing?"

I turned on my tiptoes, whilst balancing precariously on a chair, to hang the curtains we'd finished. Tori and Legolas stood hand in hand with equally amused expressions, and I glared before returning to slide the final loops over the pole. "What does it pigging look like? Now someone help me before I fall."

"I shall leave you with your sister – I come to say farewell. I go to Gondor to treaty with Faramir on the possibility of certain areas of forest in Ithilien becoming..."

"A colony, yes I know, and it will be fine. Tori!" I shouted, reaching to balance the pole, and she dashed to grab it before the loops slid off.

"Well, thank you for that." Legolas said drily, and I let out a little noise of triumph as the pole hooked in place. I jumped down from the chair lightly, and then hugged Legolas about the waist.

"Bye, big brother." I joked, earning a prod in the ribs which I almost managed to dodge. "Ouch!"

"I detest you. Travel safely to Lothlorien, and pass my regards on to Haldir. If you could let Lord Celeborn know the wardens granted are more than enough to manage the borders here, it would also be appreciated."

"Got it. Give my love to Arwen if you see her." I waved him off, and then gazed around our front room come kitchen which was finally beginning to feel like home with a look of pride. Hands on hips I nodded to myself, suitably pleased.

"Think it will do, Xena?" I asked Tori with a smirk as she finished straightening the draping material with a meticulous eye. She grinned at me, cuddling up to my side in a sweet remnant of the girl she had been not all so long ago. It was quite a change from the fierce, independent warrior-Princess she'd become.

"Oh, I think so."

xxxXxxx

Spring passed into summer in the blink of an eye, time filled joyfully with Osellë, Haldir's brothers, and Haldir himself when he wasn't traipsing off to East Lorien on some errand or another with Lord Celeborn. But as the summer came, so did my parents, and eventually Tori. I tried not to think too much about why they were there at first, simply absorbing the wonderful feeling of family around me.

It was too good to last. As late August came, so did the need to pack and prepare to leave. Haldir watched me carefully over those weeks, making sure he stayed with me whenever he could until I sobbed my heart out onto his shoulder. "I can do this." I assured him the night before we left, wiping my face. "It's easier if I cry now, rather than later."

"I know, love, I know it well for it is also in my heart." He held me close, neither of us sleeping but simply being until we rose with the sun and dressed. He held his hand out to me and I took it, not letting any other except him feel my sadness. They had enough to be thinking on without having a morose healer-in-training on their heels. Even with my chatter and songs with Tori, te journey from Lothlorien was a quiet one, full of an unusual sadness between all of us at what would be coming shortly.

Mum and Dad rode together ahead, just behind Galadriel and Celeborn, and I could hear their voices in quiet conversation as we were beginning to approach Rivendell after passing through the mountains. It was incredibly strange to be going back there, even if it wasn't for very long, and Haldir sensed my unease.

"Benny?" I looked up from the ground, my mind having been elsewhere as we rode, and gave him a sad smile. "Love, if you do not wish to do this then we do not have to."

"No, it's okay! Just memories coming back, that's all. It was a strange time here, I was this half-human, half-elven, mismatched girl. It's incredible to think of how far I have come since that time. Even now, knowing myself fully... I am still that girl, certainly more than I will ever be Aerlinn." I said with a frown.

"I suppose it is because your most recent life is just that – most recent. You feel those experiences far more keenly." He reached out and gave my arm a squeeze.

"It's still so strange. I wonder if the twins could show me where they found me?" I looked on thoughtfully, and Haldir chuckled.

"Perhaps. It might help you to find a little closure, walking that path again."

"Maybe. Elrohir did the sneaky trick Osellë taught me to help someone sleep, so I woke up in Rivendell." I laughed slightly, but then quietened again as I thought of what was to come.

We rode on again in quiet contemplation, and I listened to Tori chattering with Osellë and Elanor animatedly. Legolas could not make the journey as he was elsewhere with Gimli, but she had been adamant in coming so she could see her twin again and so she could say goodbye.

It had stung that nothing we had tried could help her, but both Tori and I knew in our hearts it would be the right thing for her. It wasn't forever, and she wouldn't be in danger; in fact, she would be happy and content and that was all we needed. However, I didn't think I could go to the havens just yet. Part of me needed to stay, wanted to stay – I wasn't ready to reach that final end here in Middle Earth.

"I can see the wheels in your mind turning, my love. Are you well?"

"I am. I think that once we reach Rivendell, I'll say my goodbyes there." I was quiet as I spoke. "I know I'll want to follow them if I go any further – not because I feel any desire within me to sail, but because they're my family, you know?"

"Come, let us take a moment. We are close to Imladris and I know the way well enough to guide us there in our own time." He pulled our horses up together and I dismounted, my riding dress sweeping around me. We tethered the beasts together, and then he took my hand, looking in to my eyes. "I know you say that you do not wish to sail, but is it what you truly desire? You have been through quite the ordeal, my love. There would be no shame in seeking the Undying Lands as your sister does."

"I don't, honestly I don't. It's like you said... it feels like I'm not done here yet. Like there's something more that we have to do before we go." I let his arms encompass my waist and my own went about his neck.

"Then why the hesitation to see the Havens?" He asked, and I shrugged.

"I don't want to be torn, that's all. It will be emotional for lots of reasons – Frodo will go, and you know how those Hobbits get to me." I joked, and his lips turned up as he recalled our drunken nights in the Inn we'd frequented in Gondor. "So many I love are leaving. It hurts a little, and I know it would hurt even more if I was there."

"Their time here is done. Elrond, Galadriel and Mithrandir all bore Rings of Power, and the halfling too. It is only right that he be granted safe passage for ridding this world of Sauron's evil finally." He said, feeding Morandír an apple as I stroked my own mare granted for the trip. I did the same and felt his arms wrap around me as her nose nuzzled at my skin.

"Celeborn will end up in Rivendell – he won't be in East Lorien for very long." I said suddenly. "I'm not completely certain, but I think he will be the last of our kind to leave Middle Earth who intend to sail."

"I imagined that it might be so." He agreed, and I felt his arms tighten around me as the heaviness in is heart gripped my own.. "I have no bond to serve the Lord or Lady of the Wood any longer, and should he choose to stay in Imladris then I shall continue in his stead."

"You sound sad." I looked up at him and saw that his eyes were distant and clouded.

"It is difficult to see our people leave these shores, my love. I am leaving the home that I have always known, and I shall miss the time there dearly." He stroked my hair as I leant into him again, holding him tightly to let him know I was there for him. "So many wonderful things have come to pass here, in this world. I am not yet ready to leave."

"I'm going to miss them."

"As am I, but we will see them again, when we too take our leave of these shores." He reassured me. "This is a happy time, Benny. They go to where all is good and everlasting, and wait for us until we are received with joy and open arms." The use of my nickname brought a little smile.

"I love you." Was all I said, closing my eyes as his hands stroked my back.

"Do you wish to stay here for this evening? Having a little time to ourselves would be most beneficial, I feel." Haldir asked me quietly, and I felt my heart flutter at his implication. We were so close to Rivendell now it was almost pointless - if we rode through the night with the others we'd be there. We had passed the mountains and we were starting to reach the valley where The Last Homely House stood, and it had brought the strange discomfort that we both now felt.

Haldir was right; we needed a little time to be close and as the sun began to set he helped me to pitch the tent we had been using to sleep in. As we retired for the night, he undressed me slowly and let the fire between us build at an agonisingly languid speed until we had taken every last ounce of pleasure that we could, crying out into the still of the night as one. I sought out that same connection, the silver thread that bound his soul to mine, and afterwards I let myself become shrouded completely in his love and his protection.

Within only half a day's ride we'd come to Rivendell, racing through the great stone arches at a full gallop much to the amusement of onlookers waiting for us. Glorfindel had swept me into an embrace as soon as I dismounted, clearly pleased to see me, and then grasped Haldir's arm in greeting. J was stood next to him and the minute I'd been freed from his giant hug, she took me into one of her own.

"You took your time reaching us. I thought perhaps wargs had found you." Glorfindel said with sly eyes, and I thumped him solidly before J pulled me back.

"You can't help yourself, can you?" J looked annoyed but I could tell from Glorfindel's expression that she wasn't really – he'd simply winked at her and then turned back to Haldir. "He's so lucky I love him." Her sigh was slightly dreamy as she slung her arm about my waist comfortably. "Osellë has been telling us all sorts of tales, by the way..."

"I swear to God, she is every kind of dead you can imagine." I said cheerfully. "I see this is how she repays me for not telling anyone she shares a room with Orophin every night – oh wait." I made sure my voice was loud enough for Haldir to hear.

"You are an evil, evil woman. You have been spending far too much time alone under Osellë's influence." She said in English under her breath and I grinned wolfishly.

"What is this?" Haldir said sharply and I fluttered my eyelashes becomingly at him. "I fear I need to have a conversation with my brother, please excuse me." He swept off in a direction I vaguely remembered, and I had the grace to look slightly sheepish as Glorfindel sighed.

"She will not thank you."

"Then she can hush with her gossip. She shall learn, and learn quickly." I said sagely. "We do this to each other a lot, she threatened the same with Haldir and I, and this isn't the first time Haldir's had that conversation with Orophin either."

"He just chooses to ignore it, I rather imagine. Ah well, shall we have you settled?" He took hold of Morandír and my mare, whose name once again I'd forgotten as I had with the horse I'd left Rivendell on when I'd first arrived, and took them to be housed in the stables. "You are welcome to join us for a late lunch if you should so desire, or dinner will be served in the early evening."

I looked up at the great house, and felt my mood brighten as Elrohir bounded down the great stairs with his robes fluttering behind him. "Dinner will be fine. Hi!" I stumbled backwards as he grabbed me. He examined my wedding ring critically and then nodded, as if he were content Haldir had made an honest woman out of me.

"Fine, very fine indeed. It is wonderful to see you – how times have changed since last you were here. I shall lead you back to your room; your husband can of course use the same room, or another if he so wishes." Elrohir's charming chatter was infectious and I let him drag me along, J standing in Glorfindel's embrace with a fond smile as I turned to wave over my shoulder at them.

"Now, tell me more of this East Lorien which Grandfather has taken to ruling. Does it truly stand where once that great fortress of darkness did?"

xxxXxxx

"How are you, Benny?" Mum asked me as we walked together through Rivendell's gardens later that afternoon, once more under the boughs of the trees I had so loved.

"I'm okay Mum, honestly." I promised, her, taking her hands. "You need to go, and I understand that. Haldir and I... we talked, and we are staying for now."

"As long as you are happy, darling, that's all that matters." She gave me a squeeze, her fair hair falling about her as she ducked her head to brush a tear away.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, and she looked up with a sniff.

"Nothing. Happy tears, Benny." she hugged me impulsively. "I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. When your Father passed back to this world and I truly thought he was dead, I was destroyed. You kept me strong, and saved me. That is something I can never repay."

"You're my Mum." I said, as if that answered all of her unspoken questions. "I'll see you again. The time will fly."

"Always, my little one."

Despite what I had told my Mum, I still felt unease and sadness that I wasn't ready to leave Middle Earth as she was. Tori was accepting as she was happy with Legolas, and as long as there was a realm in Mirkwood he would stay. She'd nearly died fighting to keep the world safe, so I could appreciate her desire to stay a little longer.

I walked the gardens alone again, a book in hand as I'd done before, the scenario remarkably similar. I felt my fingertips brush up against greenery and late blooming flowers, letting the light scent come to me in waves. It was such a beautiful place, and that sadness came upon me again that this beauty would never really be known again.

I placed myself under the tree and flipped the book open, curling my feet underneath me, and let myself become completely absorbed in the tale. It was some love story or another, mostly complete rubbish but it kept my mind occupied so I didn't think too much and become maudlin.

"Benny?" A voice disturbed my reverie, and I squinted up to see Elrohir looking down at me with a smile. "Now, is this not a familiar sight?"

"That it is." I patted the ground next to me and he sat, long legs reaching out before him. "How are you?"

"Strange. And you?"

"Strange." I agreed, closing the book in my hands. "I have no desire to sail. Is that weird?"

"If you are 'weird', then so am I, as I have none either. I do not know if I ever shall." He looked around his home, grey eyes thoughtful.

"Are you future-fishing?" I narrowed my eyes at him and he looked back innocently. "You are!"

"Aye, I suppose I am. Do you have any insights for me?" Elrohir asked and I shrugged.

"Not many. Your Grandfather will return to East Lorien alone, but it won't be for long and then he'll come here again. I'm pretty confident that he's the last elf to leave Middle Earth of all those who intend to sail." I offered. "I could be wrong – I might well be. But of course, that means there are two options for you. Choice is a funny thing."

"Grandmother said as much." He sighed, looking wistful. "I love Imladris. It is my home." His fingers swept the grass. "But the thought of being without my kin, the thought of never seeing my mother whole and happy once more..." He stopped, closing his eyes.

"Then you know in your heart one day you will sail." I said with a happy sigh, feeling a little more relaxed.

"Thank you. What about you, Benny?" He asked me, and my fingers drummed on the book.

"I am staying, at least for a time. I have this feeling in me, like there's something I've not yet done. Like I'm waiting." I explained. "Haldir feels the same, so we'll go to East Lorien and try to work out just what."

"Then maybe we shall see one another a few more times." He said quietly. "You would always be welcome in this place if ever you seek solace."

"Elrohir... I think I know why you're staying. It's the same reason Legolas is staying, of a fashion." I said, and I watched as his eyes grew sad.

"Perhaps. I would see her line settle and continue before I sail." I reached out and held his hand. "She is happy, Bernadette. One day she will be a mother, and a grandmother, and then she will pass peacefully as Men do."

"I know. Believe me, of everyone you could ever speak to about this, I know more than most."

"Do you know when she will pass?" He asked suddenly, and I felt unease wash over me.

"Yes." I whispered. "Yes, I know a few things, here and there. I won't say, though."

"Why not?" He demanded, and I sighed at his sudden harshness.

"Because if I do you will spend every moment waiting for that time, and whilst you wait for her to die you will forget to live." I told him plainly, and he looked taken aback at what I'd said. "I'm sorry, Elrohir. Come here." I pulled him to me and held him, both of us together under the tree. "You aren't used to the human condition, not like I am. I was born knowing I would die and I suppose... you make yourself not think about that too much, because every other moment of life is far too precious to spend it worrying about what happens after."

He offered a fleeting smile before staring out into the distance. "I can see why she likes you." Elrohir said wanly before leaning against me. He was the elder of the two twins, and I wondered if it was our older-sibling bond that gave us such comfort together.

A while later we walked back to the halls together, talking quietly about fond memories of those who would be departing. Haldir joined us a little while later, recalling his brothers growing up. As he talked about how he had brought Rumil and Orophin up as a father might, Elrohir got a strange look in his eye but said nothing.

"Ben?" A voice interrupted me, and I looked up to see J looming above me, eyes sad. "Are you okay?"

"I think so. Are you?"

"I will be." She sat next to me then, taking my hand in hers and winding our fingers together. "We've had an interesting couple of years, haven't we?" She chuckled, nodding to Glorfindel and Haldir who were bickering. Orophin was stood with his arms around Osellë, speaking to Bellethiel, her Father, Elanor and Rumil animatedly, and I felt the scene warm me as much as the wine did.

"We have. I don't think I ever thanked you for carrying me through, but without you I wouldn't have made it." I said honestly. "Tori fought for us, that's true, but you fought for me. You saved me." Tears filled her eyes then, and I wrapped my arms around her. "I'm glad you found your happiness."

"I'm glad you found yours too." She sat back, wiping her eyes. "Haldir said you won't be coming any further and I know how you are with goodbyes, so I'll say this now. I love you, you're brilliant and strong and generous to a fault, and I'm so proud to be your sister. Look after Tori, and look after yourself too."

"It's going to be somewhere around a hundred and twenty years." I whispered in English and she nodded, giving me a lingering tearful smile.

"It's okay. Well, no, it's going to suck in some ways." She snorted, and Glorfindel looked over to us questioningly as he heard us speaking in our own language. She waved him away with raised brows, and he shrugged before turning back to his conversation. I could see in a corner Elladan was speaking in hushed tones with Mithrandir, a serious look on his face, and I supposed he was giving the elf a little wisdom for when he began to manage Rivendell with his twin.

"How's that going?" I asked cheekily, and she grinned. "Hmm, nice. Just be aware Haldir can understand us essentially fluently."

"You lost your reserve a little bit, that's good." She gave me a squeeze then and whispered in my ear. "We mostly didn't leave the bedroom for two weeks."

"Tried it up against a tree yet?" I murmured back and she smirked. I'd had fun with that one after Haldir had seen it the day after we were married and he'd enjoyed recreating the image far too thoroughly.

"No, but I will now." She looked at Glorfindel, her eyes raking over her husband's form. "I like your style."

"What are you two gossiping about?" Tori flopped down next to us, and J indicated to keep her voice down.

"Swapping sex ideas." Jade explained in our own language and Tori laughed outright as she eyed me up and down.

"Benny and Haldir have been at it almost everywhere, according to Osellë. Nowhere in Lothlorien is safe, and that's why they were later than us this morning I shouldn't wonder." Tori teased and J snorted as she took a sip of her wine, leaning against her twin who sat on the arm of the small love seat we shared.

"That woman is the bane of my existence and I won't miss her at all." I said lightly and to my credit, I only blushed a little.

"Isn't it absolutely deliciously good, though? I love the feeling of being cocooned in the goodness like sunlight, feeling his heartbeat next to mine." J said, and Tori began to braid her hair and run it through her fingers in random patterns.

"I miss the words sometimes, but even though we can still touch minds in the... intense moments, it's more important that I feel as he feels, and he knows the same" I phrased delicately, and both of them looked dreamy with nods of agreement. I raised my glass to them then, glad that our farewell wasn't all tears. It was love too, and knowing that Jade was happy helped me come to peace finally. "You know that it's unique that we can do that, don't you?" The two nodded, and I felt Haldir's love for me wrap around my heart. He fixed me, just like he promised that he would when we first called our truce.

"To being sisters forever, to love, and to excellent sex." Tori toasted, and we dissolved in giggles as our glasses touched. "To seeing each other again soon." She said more seriously, and I felt my eyes fill.

"Very soon."

xxxXxxx

I stood in the courtyard alone but for the elves that were packing things on horses. It was strange – so many were going or had already left and I felt an odd detachment from it all as they scurried and hurried about.

"You left early, love." I felt Haldir reaching out to me – both physically and through our bond.

"I went for a run." I answered, leaning back into his embrace.

"I thought that you might. Do you feel better for it?" I shook my head but said nothing, watching as people began to mount horses with small smiles on their faces. "It is their time, love."

"I know, but it's hard. I only just found Dad, and he's leaving me again. Selfish as that is, it's how I feel right at this second." I admitted. Haldir said nothing, simply holding me tighter against him. "You should get ready to go, sweet."

"I would ensure you are well first." He turned me in his arms, hands at my hips holding me firmly.

"I'll be fine; I'm always fine in the end." I lifted my chin and set my jaw, refusing to let him see how torn I was by the whole ordeal. "I'll say goodbye to Mum, Dad, J and Oselle, and then I'll walk away. Say goodbye to your brothers for me?"

Haldir nodded then kissed me, and I let myself fall into the silvery blanket that was his love and the bond I shared with him. "I know when you are lying, love. Your family are here, as is your friend. I shall be back soon, and you will have Victoria to stand by you still."

I turned and spotted the four other members of my family, huddled together against the wind that was beginning to whip ferociously through the valley. J spotted me and waved me over, taking my hand as I took cautious steps towards them.

"Right, well." I said awkwardly looking at the floor, and then I felt myself taken into a crushing hug.

"Goodbye, my Benny. You'll be fine, and we'll see each other soon." Mum said, her hands grasping my face.

"I'm going to do the usual." I told her, referring to my goodbyes. I'd never been good at them, and so I'd made a pact with her never to turn back once we'd said goodbye when I went to university. She nodded stoutly and then kissed my forehead. "I love you, and it isn't goodbye – it's 'see you soon'."

"How soon is soon?" Mum asked curiously, using our old tongue to keep some semblance of privacy. The strength of her hands was comforting and I leaned into the touch.

"A hundred and twenty years, if we stay until the end." I glanced at Tori and she nodded – she'd be staying with Legolas and Gimli.

"Okay. In that case, see you soon my little one." She hugged me a final time and then I went next to J who held her arms out to me.

"See you soon Benny, and have an amazing time." Her words echoed the ones she'd used when I'd left for university, and her cheeky grin let me know it was her exact intention. I laughed, giving her hair a tug and then I pulled her into my arms.

"See you soon middle one, and I love you. Oh, and chin up - don't let the bastards get you down." I murmured in her ear and she snorted, winking at me. She took a step back and then I felt myself in Dad's arms.

"What did you mean; you'll be doing the usual?" He asked and I fought not to sob. I'd missed out on so much with him and only two years of having him in my life again wasn't enough. Nothing would ever make up for the years I had missed with him.

"It means I don't turn back. I never turn back, and neither do you. I say 'See you soon' and then I walk away." His eyes bored into mine, dark hair like mine spilling around him, and then he nodded. He knew, just like I did, that sometimes it was the only way to say goodbye.

"In that case – I love you with everything I have, my Benny, and I'll see you soon." His voice was rough.

"I love you too." I struggled to speak then and buried my face into his tunic once more. I clung on for dear life then, memorising the sound of his voice, his height, the exact shade of his hair. I made myself remember every detail of this maddening man who had only tried to do best by me, and was still paying the price for that.

"I have to go now, or I won't go at all." I stepped back from him, tearing myself away and letting my eyes sweep over the three people I wouldn't see for over a hundred years. How much would I change? Would they? "Safe journey, all of you. Tori, see you in a week or so." She nodded, eyes damp at the corners.

I grinned and waved, wanting the last time they saw me to be a happy one, and then I turned my back on them. One step away, breathe. Two steps, and keep breathing. The words were in my mind like a mantra until I saw Oselle standing a little distance away, hidden under the trees.

"Bernadette." She called out to me and I steeled myself to say my final goodbye. She held out her hand to me and I laced my fingers between hers. "I know how you hate goodbyes, so instead I thought we could take a final walk together."

I blinked, and felt my eyes fill. "I don't think we have time – I have something I want to give you."

"Oh, we do. Follow me, before I hit you for your impudence." I let out a startled laugh as she dragged me back into the main house of Rivendell.

"Where are you taking me, you bloody miscreant?" I let the banter flow and she looked over her shoulder with a naughty grin before coming to a halt. "Your room?"

"My room. I have a gift for you." She handed me the key and I turned it in the lock – as I opened the door I saw the room was sparse but for a stack of books that were almost falling apart in places. "I know you do not go back to Lothlorien when you leave, so I brought these with me. These are my personal diaries from when I first began my time as a healer, and I think they will be of great use to you." I held her key in my hands still as I gaped, and then I slipped it into one of the pockets in my dress.

I hugged her impulsively, throwing my arms around her and holding her tightly to me. "Come on, I have something for you too." Instead of taking her hand I looped my arm through hers, my dress sweeping along the floor. It was one from Mirkwood, and I wasn't quite so tall as I had been then, so it dragged almost like a train. I got to my room and pushed the door open, not having bothered to lock it, and held it open for her.

"Quickly – I know we don't have much time." I opened my top drawer and pulled out the book of songs Haldir had given me for my Birthday. I held it close to my chest for a moment before passing it on to her. Unknowingly, we had both given each other a gift of knowledge.

"This is the book of all songs ever sung in Lothlorien, including ones I've sung. I want you to keep this safe for me, add to it, and I want you to sing your heart out. Maybe when you do that you'll think about me and wonder how I am, and I'll know." I mumbled, looking at her hands where the book now rested.

"Oh." Osellë's voice was quiet as she opened the book, flipping through the pages. "I cannot take this, Bernadette."

"No, you have to!" I exclaimed, closing it in her hands with a thud and meeting her wide eyes. "I figure that the heart of Lothlorien is with the Lady Galadriel, wherever she is, and so it needs to go with you."

She was in my arms then, crying as hard as I was with the book between us. "I wish you would be at my binding, but I know that you cannot be. I shall make sure you are there in spirit." Osellë's voice caught. "Without you I would never be so happy as I am now."

"And without you I'd have a peaceful life and not have a scar on the back of my head." I teased her, earning a thwack on the arm with the book before she placed it on the bed. Her hands sought my own and I grasped them tightly. Her eyes were warm, a small smile toying at the corners of her mouth despite the tracks that slid down her cheeks.

"So now we truly come to it. I hate to say farewell, but there is something Father and I would always do when to the borders he went, as would Mother and Elanor too. I will wish for you much laughter and joy, and may the stars light your path wherever you roam."

"Never turn back when you say goodbye." I confirmed and she nodded; we were two ladies far too accustomed to having to say goodbye. "In that case, I'll see you very soon and I expect that book to be full when I next see you."

Osellë laughed and then threw her arms around me in one last hug before she stepped back. "I may not say it often, but I love you my sister, and I shall miss you." I reached out to brush a tear from her cheek and she did the same to me.

"I love you too; now bloody stop it and go, woman. I expect a fanfare when you see me next." She picked up the book from the bed, weighing it in her hand before looking up at me with red eyes. "On three. One, two..."

"Three." She turned her back at the same time I did, and I shut my eyes tightly until I heard the soft click of the door shut behind me. Alone I stood in the room for a few moments until I sat on the edge of the bed with shaking hands clasped over my heart; alone, I cried for those who I wouldn't see for over one hundred years.


I definitely didn't cry when writing the goodbyes, not at all - shifty author eyes- . Reviews sincerely appreciated, and lots of love.