There will be 'aww's' (Gah! I'm so giddy about the first part of this chapter! :D), possibly more tears and then more drama ALL in this chapter along with kickass song lyrics. Don't know why, just though I'd give ya guys a break with all this nonstop drama :)

HermioneandMarcus and Smittendebs: Thank you again for reviewing - love ya guys :)

allons-ymeg and jouetdedestin: I know, I know - not what you guys wanted to read, but again, I did it to open various pathways that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. Again, its only temporary and I promise, it my heart out too to write it :(

wickedclownsmile: Breathe, honey! LOL If I didn't write it so sad, then how was I supposed to write it? And besides . . . who says Merle's getting back to the prison in one piece? ;)

HaloHunter89: I love you. I really, really do. Two huge, nice reviews - you made my day and please, keep them up! Um, a lot of what you said about Tessa, Ethan and Daryl WILL be addressed in this chapter and the next one, so keep your pants about that. In fact, a lot of what you said gets addressed in this chapter and the next, so you know what? Just keep reading XD XD

Maddy-MarieXO: Oh believe me, she won't.


"Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You'd better know that in the end

It's better to say too much

Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open"

- "Say" by John Mayer

"Hey . . ."

Ethan quickly wiped away the tears that fell from his eyes before turning around to face whoever the voice belonged to, expecting Rick, Carol or at least his mother. When he saw it was Wren, though, he calmed slightly but turned away nonetheless to hide the tears that still continued to build up in his eyes. He couldn't stop crying. He wanted to be strong – he knew that he needed to be strong for his mother, but it was just so hard.

God, he was hurting.

"I'm just . . . just keeping watch." He told her while nodding to the chain-link fence separating them and the prison yard and Wren smiled weakly as she moved over to him and took a seat on the crumbling wall standing beside him.

"Then where's your bow and your gun? It's kinda hard to kill a walker without a weapon, ain't it?" She told him and he shook his head, puffing out his chest slightly. He always managed to find a way to brag to Wren – preferably when her older brother wasn't around to tease him on how much he liked his little sister.

"I don't need one. All I need is this . . ." He gestured to the knife at his side and Wren nodded as her eyes flickered down to it. He glanced at her before moving his eyes away to scan the tree line beyond the chain-link fence separating the prison from the outside world. "Deddy taught me that you don't always need a gun and a bow to kill a walker. One of the first things he taught me was how to melee kill a walker." He felt tears prickle his eyes again. It was so hard talking about him now in the past tense – like he would never come back to them. Ethan knew he would come back because he knew his deddy and Daryl's heart was with his family too much in order to walk away – not like what his mother had told him (and even then he doubted that she had told him the full truth).

"How are you doing about that? You know . . . how are you dealing?" She asked him, her voice coming out small and quiet and Ethan glanced down at her again. This was the first time they had ever exclusively talked to just each other, completely alone. Most of the time they were in a group or a place where there was a potential for someone to overhear them. Out here, they were all alone and it felt . . . strange, somehow. You could never really get completely alone in the prison but apparently, they had somehow unintentionally accomplished it.

Not-to-mention Wren was finally taking Tessa's advice and talking to her son - something that continued to put nervous butterflies in her stomach.

"I'm fine." He told her, his voice gruff and dismissive and so very Daryl and Wren shook her head.

"No you're not, Ethan! That answer might have appeased the others but I know better – I know you better than that!"

"Ya don' know me!" Ethan immediately snapped at her, his eyebrows furrowing in slight anger and that reaction too, as well as the look on his face, was another completely Daryl reaction. His Southern twang also came out heavier when he was angry – something else that he shared with his father. "Ya have no idea what I'm feelin' right now – how Goddamn hurt I am 'cause that bastard left us!" He looked away then, lest Wren see the few lone tears that streaked down his cheeks and shook his head. "How could he leave us, Wren? He had seemed so happy – him and momma had seemed so happy, especially when the twins were finally born . . .!" He trailed off then and when he turned his eyes back onto her, the tears were gone but newer, fresher ones were taking their place. "How could he leave me and the twins? I mean, even if it was 'cause of something between him and momma, how could he still leave? How could he abandon us?"

"What did your momma tell you happened?" She asked him and Ethan scoffed and shook his head.

"That he left with my uncle Merle because he had a bone to settle – that he might not ever come back – that she was sure he was never going to come back, in fact!"

"What was the bone?" Ethan shrugged again.

"She wouldn't tell me, but . . ." He shook his head. "I know why he went Wren – I can understand 'cause, despite her wanting to keep me in the dark with a lot of things that happened to her in the past, I ain't blind! I could see the look in momma's eyes whenever she and deddy would talk about my uncle Merle – the anger and the hatred and the fear! He did something and that something gave deddy one Hell of a vendetta."

Wren gave him a smile as she watched him take a seat on the crumbling wall beside her. "Well, when he comes back, maybe you should ask him why he left. Because, he didn't abandon you, Ethan – he didn't abandon his family - he couldn't! His heart is with you and your mother too much to allow him to do something as cold-hearted as that."

"How is she?" He asked her, his voice falling quiet and she knew he meant Tessa. Wren's face fell slightly and she gave a half-shrug.

"I want to say that she's doing better than yesterday, but . . ." She shook her head. "That would probably be a lie. She's hurting, Ethan and it scares me, the way she's been acting lately. Her milk's seemed to dry up so we're having to feed the twins the formula and most of the time she just sits up there in the guard office gazing listlessly out the window that looks down onto the forest, almost as if she can will Daryl to come walking out of those woods if she concentrates hard enough." Ethan shook his head, a sorrowful look appearing in his eye.

"Deddy better come home fast, 'cause I don't think momma can live without him much longer." He told her and Wren couldn't help but nod in agreement as she got to her feet, heaving a sigh as she did so.

"As much as I would love to sit here and just talk to you, it's getting late. I should go in and help with dinner." She told him and he nodded as she moved past him. She felt herself stop, however, when he reached out and took ahold of her hand. She turned around to gaze at him, her eyes wide with slight alarm and he smiled a small, thankful smile.

"Thanks for worryin' about me, Wren. It . . . it feels good to have someone to worry about me now that I'm the one havin' to worry about momma and deddy and not the other way around. It's . . . it's comforting . . ." Wren smiled cheerfully and nodded as he got to his feet and moved to stand in front of her. He towered above her, the spitting image of a darker, younger looking Daryl and Wren felt herself swallow heavily, especially when she noticed that he had yet to let go of her hand. And when their fingers entwined, Wren felt her cheeks bloom with a hot blush as she quickly averted her eyes down to the broken cement underneath them. Giddy butterflies started beating their feather light wings in her stomach and she nodded, finding herself mysteriously unable to meet his eyes now.

"A-any time, Ethan. You're my friend - I can't help but worry about you when you're like this." She told him and he let out a quiet laugh then. She could almost see the grin that had split his face and it was at that moment that she realized she had to have some sort of tiny crush on Daryl in order to find his look-alike-son so damn good-looking!

"Friend . . .? Have I been friend-zoned?" He asked, amusement tingeing his words and Wren shook her head as she turned a stricken look onto him. Their eyes finally connected then and the blush across her cheeks burned hotter when she saw the warm look in his beautiful blue Dixon eyes. However, she forced herself to hold his gaze nonetheless, and vaguely, she felt him take up her other hand as well and allowed him to entwine their fingers then too.

"Of course not, Ethan! I mean, you are my friend and all but I also . . . see, what I mean is . . . I want to -!"

She was interrupted by Ethan leaning down and pressing a gentle, almost sheepish kiss to her lips. She froze, her eyes growing wide and when he broke apart, they gazed at each other for a moment, Wren in stunned shock that he had actually leaned down and kissed her, more than anything. Ethan's heart seemed to drum against his chest in nervousness. He had kissed girls before – various girls on the reservation before the apocalypse and even Beth after the apocalypse, but Wren was different than those girls and Beth. She was beautiful and good and he wondered vaguely if how he felt for her at that moment was how Daryl had first felt for Tessa way back then.

But most of all, he wondered if she felt the same.

His fears were answered when she bit down on her bottom lip and turned a slightly shy gaze up to him. "That . . . that was my first kiss . . ." She told him, somewhat awkwardly and his eyes immediately grew wide as he took a few steps back. She didn't let go of his hands, though and she couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face.

"Wren, I'm so sorry, I didn't -!"

"It's fine, Ethan! It was . . . it was nice. Can we . . . maybe do it again?" She asked, another shy look appearing on her face again as her blush burned hotter still, and Ethan nodded and smiled as he stepped closer to her. He lowered his head down to hers and she ended up meeting him halfway, their lips meeting in another shy kiss that carefully deepened the longer they stood there. A pulse settled in-between their clasped fingers and when they broke apart and Wren stepped closer to him, her head tucking underneath his chin as he wrapped his arms around her, they stood there for a minute, feeling lighter than air and strangely giddy.

It was then that Ethan realized that suddenly, everything in his life seemed just a little bit brighter.


"What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know goes away

In the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way."

- "Hurt" by Johnny Cash

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad/ Take a sad song and make it better/ Remember to let her into your heart/ Then you can start to make it better . . ."

Beth smiled as she climbed the stairs to the Guard Office, two bottles of warm formula in her hands and Tessa's melodic voice floating from the open door. She saw Carol and Maggie smile in amusement from the first floor before they moved into the common room to prepare dinner and when she appeared in the doorway, Tessa was changing Danny's diaper.

"That's Hey Jude, right? Daddy's a big Beatles fan." She spoke with a shrug and Tessa grinned and nodded as she finished up his diaper and picked him up, where she slipped on his light blue one-sie. For some reason, she could see Hershel being a Beatles fan and she held her son close for a minute, feeling his small body against hers - his warmth and his softness - and when he gurgled against her shoulder and his small hand curled into her hair, she couldn't help but smile. Beth continued to smile as well as she held up the two bottles of formula in her hands.

"I know it's not their regular feeding time but I got these for them while I was getting Judith's ready. I hope you don't mind." Tessa shook her head as she set Danny down beside Aayla before moving to recline on her side beside them along the bunk.

"Yeah, that's fine; I was about to go down and get them ready myself, so its no big deal." She told her and Beth nodded as she took a seat on the bunk beside her, placing the bottles of formula down on the floor beside her feet. She glanced at Tessa then and the older woman grinned and nodded, giving her permission to pick up Aayla. The baby let out a sound of protest when she was picked up but settled comfortably down in the young girl's arms and Tessa couldn't help but continue to smile as she lay there beside Danny. Used to be, Aayla would immediately begin crying whenever anyone but she and Daryl picked her up, but apparently the baby was growing out of it, thank God.

Beth moved to carefully cradle her head as she shifted her in her arms and Tessa gave a little laugh. "You're a natural at this, Beth!" She told her and Beth turned a small smile up to her as the woman reclining alongside her allowed her eyes to soften as she placed a loving hand on her son's small chest. His eyes found hers and he held them as he reached out and grabbed ahold of her finger, grinning as he did so. Even now, this early, she could tell that he would have Daryl's grin and she felt tears prickle in her eyes at the sight but managed to beat them back as she glanced at Beth. "It was funny, Ethan used to wake the neighbors, you know that? Three o'clock every morning – just like clockwork," She grinned and gave a laugh then. "And Sam would get up every morning and go to the door and apologize to them and explain that he was hungry or he was teething or whatever else it was at the time and that we'd get him back to bed as quickly as we could, which sometimes didn't go exactly as quickly as we had planned . . ." She trailed off and Beth smiled as she gazed down into Aayla's face – the face that was going to look the epitome of Tessa's when she grew older.

"I've always wanted a baby – ever since I was a little girl, in fact. I used to beg momma and daddy to get me babydolls when I younger so I could pretend to take care of them." She told her with a short laugh before falling silent. Tessa didn't reply, just remained lying there beside her son, gazing into his face, seemingly deep in thought. Eventually, though, she returned her eyes onto her and when she spoke, Tessa drug herself out of her thoughts and met the young girl's eyes. "Daryl will come back, Tess, I know it."

"And how do you know that?" She asked her, a look of slight curiosity appearing on her face and Beth gave a shrug as she gently bounced Aayla in her arms.

"I . . . it's silly, I know, but I can . . . I can feel it? He loves you guys too much to stay away for long," She shook her head. "We're weak without him, Tess." Tessa nodded and glanced at her.

"Yeah . . . and he is too, whether he wants to admit it or not."

"And I'm pissed at him for leaving," She continued on, her voice becoming firmer as she spoke and Tessa turned a slightly amused look onto her. She had never heard Beth adopt that tone of voice before, especially when referencing Daryl and it was interesting to hear. "I'm pissed because he hurt you and because he hurt . . . because he hurt Ethan . . ." She trailed off then and Tessa turned her eyes onto the young girl for a moment. Did she sense a note of concern in her voice when she referenced her son. Now that Ethan wasn't all that interested in her and instead, was putting more and more of his time into his relationship with Wren, Tessa could see that Beth was starting to take notice. She knew that she should probably say something but she didn't exactly know what to tell Beth about changing feelings when she had been in love with the same man for fifteen some-odd years and was still in love with the same man, despite what had happened.

However, Beth simply shook her head, keeping her from saying anything else as she continued speaking. "It's just . . . he had no right to do that – he had no right to abandon you guys like that – and when we're about to face something huge!" She continued on and Tessa couldn't help but smile as she pushed herself off of the bunk to a sitting position and glanced at her then.

"Don't be mad at him, Beth, okay? It wasn't . . . it wasn't completely his fault - I certainly didn't do anything to help make him stay, now that I think about it. But whether he comes back or not, we'll survive this. I'll get over what I said to him, Ethan will heal and the twins will grow up knowing that their father was a man of his code and that no matter what happened, he loved them both so very, very much."

A tear ran down her cheek then as she spoke and as she gazed into her son's small face. Danny was still grinning up at her and eventually, Tessa couldn't help but bow her head, where she broke down into sobs. When arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a hug, it took her a moment to realize that Beth had gently set Aayla back down beside her brother and that it was the young girl's arms who were holding her.

"It'll be okay Tess. He'll come back, I promise . . ." Beth shushed her gently and no matter how hard she wanted to believe the young girl's assurances, Tessa wouldn't blame him if he never did come back – not after what she said to him back at the car.

"You'll never see the twins again!"

She knew she didn't say it in quite those same terms, but the affect was still the same. She had told him if he left her she would make sure he would never see his children again and once again, she mentally slapped herself. How could she have been so stupid as to say the one thing that she knew would keep him away forever?


"You know I'm not one to break promises,

I don't want to hurt you but I need to breathe.

At the end of it all, you're still my best friend,

But there's something inside that I need to release.

Which way is right, which way is wrong,

How do I say that I need to move on?

You know we're heading separate ways.

And it feels like I am just too close to love you,

There's nothing I can really say.

I can lie no more, I can hide no more,

Got to be true to myself.

And it feels like I am just too close to love you,

So I'll be on my way."

- "Too Close" – Alex Clare

"After all that shit . . . after everything we done and Daryl just ends up taking off with Merle?" Glenn asked, his eyes wide with disbelief, and Rick looked away.

"He had his reasons."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that Rick," Glenn spat back. "Because it doesn't change the fact that we are up to our eyeballs in shit and that Tess is only God knows how fucked up! Look how fuckin' torn up and dead she is now – how she's almost refusing to feed her children! How can you possibly live with this – how are you possibly going to fix this?"

How was he going to fix this?

Hershel noticed the tenseness of Rick's frame and heaved a sigh as they stood outside by the chainlink fence and looked out over the grassy yard to the forest beyond. Like Tessa, it seemed like Rick thought if he stared hard enough into the woods, thinking about how much it would amazing if Daryl was back, then he would just suddenly walk out of it and head back to the prison, a untold amount of squirrels and rabbits hanging from his belt like always.

Everything seemed so wrong without Daryl. Their entire lives seemed empty somehow, although no one mourned for him like Tessa was at that moment, cloistered away in the Guard Office with her children and coming down only to use the bathroom, take a shower and eat. He would be lying if he said they weren't worried about her – all of them, in fact!

"Rick, I don't mean to bring any more worries onto your plate . . ." Hershel spoke and immediately, Rick's eyes landed on his.

"What's wrong; is it one of the babies?" He asked and Hershel shook his head, a small smile appearing on his white bearded face then.

"No, thank God. All the babies are fine - they eat like horses and they sleep like rocks! It's about Tessa, though." He told him and Rick's face immediately paled.

"W-what about her – is she okay?" Hershel sighed and shook his head as he looked away.

"I suppose she is, but that doesn't stop the fact that I'm still worried about her, not just as a friend, but from a medical standpoint as well. She's melancholy now that Daryl's gone – listless and somber. If I knew any better, Rick, I'd say she was slowly dying of a broken heart and considering the fact that she's so stressed and depressed to the point to where he body is no longer making the milk she used to feed her children . . .!" He heaved a sigh and pursed his lips. Rick knew where he was going, though, and he shook his head, his eyes becoming mournful.

"I don't know what I can do about her situation, Hershel. I'm not who she wants most – who she's craving and the one man who can make her better again! You and Glenn keep telling me that I need to fix this but what the Hell am I supposed to do?" Hershel gave a weak shrug.

"Is it so much to ask that she might need a friend? Yes, she has Wren and Beth, but they are still young girls, with the worries of young girls and their main contributions to her are helping her with the twins when she needs it. She can't relate to them – not in the way she's used to being able to relate to someone! And yes, there is Carol and Maggie too, but she's never chosen to get close to Carol and Maggie . . ." He trailed off then before heaving a sigh and continuing: "Maggie and Glenn are going through their own relationship problems for Tess to even want to add her own. So, really, Tessa has no one now that Lori is gone – no one her own age and who knows a semblance of what she is going through!" Hershel shook his head as he placed a gentle hand on Rick's shoulder. "I'm not telling you to sweep her off her feet, Rick – the only man that can do that is God only knows where out there! But right now, she needs a friend and considering that you do too, what is the harm in simply talking to each other and inquiring about how the other is doing?"

Rick stayed silent at that for a moment, allowing the older man's words to sink in and in that span of time, they heart the door to the cellblock screech open. Immediately their eyes flew to see who would step out and Hershel let out a chuckle when they saw it was Tessa, eyes squinting with the sudden light. "Speak of the Devil and he shall appear, right?" He asked him and Rick nodded numbly as Hershel turned and began making his way back to the door from whence Tessa had so recently come through, Tessa smiling and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as they moved past each other. Rick met her halfway and he answered her small smile with one of his own.

"H-How have you been?" He asked and she gave a sigh and a weak shrug.

"As good as could be, I suppose, and taking all things into consideration, that is." Rick nodded as she pinned her eyes on him.

"And what about you, Rick? How have you been?" She asked him and he opened his eyes to say that he had been fine, but he saw it flickering in her eyes – the uncertainty of how well he really was. She had been there when Rick had, had his little meltdown in front of Tyrese and Sasha's small group – the meltdown that had made four people they could desperately need, leave them. He closed his mouth then and gazed at her for a moment before shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips. She needed a friend, right? Well he supposed he did too.

"I, um . . . I'm seeing Lori, Tess."

Her eyebrows rose then, threatening to disappear into her hairline and she crossed her arms in front of her chest as drew the corner of her bottom lip in-between her teeth. "Oh . . . really?" She asked, her voice taking on the fake interest of someone who clearly thought you were insane, and Rick shook his head.

"Nevermind. See, this is exactly why I haven't told anyone – they'd think I was insane." He spoke and Tessa grinned and shook her head.

"You're right, I don't believe you but then again, how many people can honestly see spirits?" She asked before shaking her head. "But just because I don't believe you, doesn't mean I'm not listening. Just because I'm hurting so much right now that I can barely breathe, does not mean I don't have time for a friend, Rick!" He gazed at her for a moment before nodding.

"It's . . . it's not everywhere – I'm not seeing her constantly, so you can put that worry to rest. But . . . when I least expect it or when I'm weak, like I was yesterday, she pops up. Wearing a long white dress and-and . . ." He shook his head again and placed his fingers to his temples. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Tess! Before I started hearing her, when I was in the other cellblock, the telephone rang four times and each time someone different was on the phone – Amy, Jim, Jacqui -"

"But Rick . . . Amy, Jim and Jacqui are dead!" Tessa reminded him slowly and he nodded, a slightly irritated look appearing on his face.

"I know that, Tess, I know! And then the last time, it was . . . it was Lori and I . . ." He trailed off then and Tessa heaved a sigh as she stepped closer to him, where she gazed into his eyes. He didn't look like the same Rick, which was true. He seemed paler and gaunter since Lori's death, as well as a feral-ness and fragility that were just barely masked by his control. Tessa shook her head, feeling her heart drop into her stomach. How were they gonna make it? Even if the Governor didn't send his men to attack the prison, Rick was clearly still not in his most stable mind. And what would happen if he snapped again? Without Daryl here to seamlessly take over the reins like he had last time, who would be here to do so this time? Glenn?

Tessa swallowed hard, feeling herself suddenly adopt the urge to vomit. She found herself praying that either Daryl came back or Rick never stumbled again because she honestly didn't know whether Glenn could handle the reins of power if Rick fell again. Like Phaeton steering Helios' mighty chariot, she could help but feel that Glenn would crash and burn whereas Daryl, like Apollo, required the necessary strength and mindset needed to carefully steer the horses correctly in Helios' stead.

Okay, maybe not the best analogy . . .

Tessa sighed and moved closer to him, where she held his gaze unflinchingly. "Rick, I know this is possibly the last thing you want to hear, but there is no one there! You are simply hallucinating them and as you get better, they will slowly go away. You just . . . you need to get better - the both of us do." Rick nodded in agreement and Tessa gave another sigh as she turned her eyes onto the forest beyond the chainlink fence. She moved to step away from him but his hand reached out and caught hers. Her gaze returned to his then, eyes wide and inquiring and it was then that Rick pulled her back down, bending down slightly as he did so that their lips caught in a kiss. Tessa immediately froze but calmed down slightly when she felt Rick's arm wind around her waist. Tentatively, she kissed him back for a moment and felt . . .

. . . Absolutely nothing.

There was no liquid heat and feral wantonness in their kiss like there was whenever Daryl kissed her. Tessa did not feel the frantic urge to press herself up against him and tear off his clothes as his tongue slid into her mouth to tangle with hers like there was with Daryl. There was no tangling of the other's fingers into their hair, nor the falling to their knees because their legs could no longer support them in their desire. And even in their most chaste of kisses, those things always seemed to be there, just bubbling underneath the surface – like elements they naturally possessed together.

She didn't feel those amazingly and all-encompassing hot fireworks . . .

Finally, Tessa let out a sound of protest and immediately moved to push him away from her, one of her hands moving to splay out on his chest as the other immediately flew to her lips. She shook her head as she did so and her eyes remained on the ground underneath them. "I-I'm sorry Rick, but . . . I can't. You're not . . . Jesus Christ, you're not . . ." She trailed off then, unable to say it and Rick nodded as he stepped away from her, one of his hands moving to his hip as the fingers of the other ran over his lips.

"I'm not Daryl." He said for her and she had no choice but weakly nod.

"I'm so sorry, Rick." She told him, her voice hitching slightly with slight tears, and he shook his head.

"Don't be," He told her before giving a shrug and a weak laugh. "I don't know why I tried it anyway, maybe because I thought - possibly - that I could . . ."

He trailed off then but he didn't need to say anything – Tessa knew what he wanted to say. He thought he could compare to Daryl but quite obviously he couldn't. No man in thirteen years had ever been able to compare to Daryl Dixon, why would there be someone now?

It only made her want Daryl more . . . her heart ache for him more . . .

Tessa shook her head and let out a little laugh. "Don't feel bad Rick – it's the curse of finding that one person who could very well be your soul mate, I think. No man's ever been able to compare to Daryl for thirteen long years – why would there be a man now who could do so?"

Rick nodded, in agreement or something else, she couldn't tell but it still made her uneasy. Had she unintentionally made him worse?