The Banana Slug: So, I'm stoked with news 'bout Arkham's sequel coming out this year. But I always have that cringe at the back of my neck saying…What could go wrong? In a serious fashion.

Will Rocksteady's non-involvement ruin it?

Will not having Paul Dini on board ruin it?

Joker's death both ruins and opens new possibilities, what will happen?Did they really have to cop out Harley's pregnancy?

Is it too soon to release a new game?I dunno, you have the right to call me a worry-wart. It's my nature.


You Got BatRolled!

By The Banana Slug

CHAPTER 48: Beware the Batman's Car


Mr. Penguin's Electric Umbrella

Penguin waddled out of the Gotham City Football Stadium frantically after robbing the player's wives' hearts away…along with their jewels and money. He was quickly followed by the dynamic duo themselves, posing once getting through the entrance dynamically.

"Penguin! You will stop or we will hurt you!" ordered Robin.

"Wah wah wah!" squawked the Penguin, "Not on your shallow lives, Batman and Robin!" And so, he continued to waddle away swiftly as he swung his umbrella around in the air as he continued to release his silly bird-like laughter, "Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! Waaaah!"

Batman and Robin both respectively shook their heads in annoyance and took off after the Gentleman of Crime, chasing him through the alleyways and busy streets as they would almost be on his tail.

Penguin stopped on a sidewalk, panting heavily with his hands on his shins and sweating violently. He looks over to see Batman and Robin jump down from nowhere and standing in front of the Penguin.

"You…are…incorrigible!" hissed the Penguin hatefully, "I will not be defeated by you moronic do-gooders!"

"What's the difference than every other day, Oswald?" growled a cocky Batman, pulling out his batarang with Robin doing the same.

"HA! Good one, Batman!" called out Robin with a wide grin. Batman grumbled in annoyance at Robin's outburst.

Penguin used this moment of distraction to throw out his umbrella at the two, with bullets speeding out the umbrella as Penguin laughed loudly as he sprayed bullets at them. Batman quickly ducked and rolled while Robin stood there completely unfazed. Robin was like a statue, looking around ins shock as the bullets sped past him.

Penguin let out a squawking laugh as he lifted his umbrella, opening it as he began floating away, chuckling at the two heroes as he flew into the air. "Wah! Wah! Wah! Look at you two! Standing around as a great criminal mastermind easily gets away! Wah! Wah! Wah!"

What the Penguin did not know was that he was floating right at some power cables, he never noticed as the criminal bird was getting closer and closer to it.

"Serves you right for trying to face me in combat! Serves you-" Penguin was suddenly interrupted by the ultimately inevitable.

Penguin squawked in pain as his umbrella was stuck in the cables, shocking him violently as steam blew out his ears and nose. His bones could be seen for brief flashes as he kicked his legs, twirling his head around wildly as he screamed in pain.

Batman and Robin, however, were standing from the sidewalk laughing at the Penguin as he screamed in utter pain from being shocked. The reason was simple, seeing fat people being shocked is just funny as hell. It is a fact, don't argue it.

Penguin then fell to the asphalt with a big slam as he laid on his face, twitching painfully as he groaned in horrible pain. Batman and Robin continued to laugh madly, pointing at Penguin as he was a charred unconscious waste.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Hoooo! Ha! That was hilarious!" laughed and teased Batman, "They should rename you into the Turkey!"

"Ha! Good one, Batman!" chuckled Robin with a larger dumber smile.

"Robin…shut up," growled Batman as he scowled. Robin looked at him with shock as Batman says, "…Why must you ruin everything."

"Batman…I…" whimpered Robin, before being silenced by Batman holding his palm at him.

"No…no more quips," he growled, "…We are done…for tonight…"


Batmobile Confessions V

The Batmobile sped through the city, grinding against the rails as it drove through the highway like a bat out of bat-hell.

Robin sat at the front seat, looking out the window as Batman glared at the road, driving like a maniac like he always does. Robin glanced back, then away, then back again, then deciding to actually say something to him.

"Uh…Batman…are you angry with me?" asked Robin nervously.

"In a way," he hissed darkly.

"…Is it because of my quips?" chirped out Robin, "…I don't see why you hate them so much."

"They aren't funny, Robin," growled Batman, "You don't simply say, 'Ha! Good one, Batman!', I taught you better."

"No, no you did not!" argued Robin angrily, "You taught me only to use 'Holy something something Batman!', and I am not going to do that anymore!"

"Dick used to do them all the time," pointed out Batman with a frown.

"I am not Dick!" shouted Robin, swinging his arms in the air, "I am Tim Drake! Your partner! And I have the right to choose whether or not to use your crummy jokes!"

"…Alright," said Batman calmly, "As long as you use something other than quips."

Robin was silent, looking away as he thought of something to say otherwise, but was constantly hitting a brick wall on that department.

"…Okay…I don't have ANYTHING yet!" said Robin quickly, "But I will find something. Maybe not today, or tomorrow-"

"Or next year," butted in Batman, causing him to let out a held in laugh as Robin looked at Batman with annoyance.

"You just are made of jerk, aren't you?" asked Robin seriously.

"Sometimes," sighed Batman, and the awkward silence returned as the two simply returned to what they originally were. Batman drove through the streets and Robin was sitting next to him, fiddling with his fingers.

"Batman…did you and Superman really beat up Johnny Test and his dad?" asked Robin curiously.

"Yes, we did," said Batman simply, "We used my dimensional transporter and go all the way to that universe and give Hugh Test's face a tattoo in the shape of my bat-fist, then gave Johnny Test a super boot to the face."

"…Wow…" gulped Robin with wide eyes.

"Uhuh, then the dog came in swingin' his paws at me," explained Batman, "…good thing I already placed some explosive gel on the other side of the wall waitin' for him. Didn't see it comin'."

"Wowzers," let out Robin, "…what about his sisters?"

"Darkseid was busy with them," said Batman, "from what I've heard, they didn't want to leave."

Robin looked at him blankly, then saying with a sigh, "Yeah…" He rolled his eyes as Batman glared at him, shaking his head at his ward and returned to watching the road as he drove past a local fruit stand, run by an undercover Harvey Bullock, eating a banana.

"What's he doing?" asked Robin.

"What?" growled Batman, turning to Robin.

"What's Harvey Bullock doing on that local fruit stand?" Robin asked again.

Batman looked away, driving as he thought for a while, then deciding to get answers. Suddenly, he stopped the car instantly as Robin puffed out his cheeks as he blew air out with him saved from death by his seatbelt.

"Seat-belts? Peh!" growled Batman, who was able to stay on his seat even if he doesn't wear seatbelt, because he is a seatbelt, he's Batman.

"WHAT'S GOIN' ON!?" yelled Robin angrily, seeing Batman backing up swiftly.

Batman didn't answer, parking the car in front of a local fruit stand, run by an undercover Harvey Bullock, eating a banana. Batman rolled down the windows and yelled out, "Hey! Bullock! What are you doing out here!"

"Shaddap!" barked out Bullock, "I'm undah-cuvah! Now get outta here before ya break my cuvah!"

"You can tell me, I'm Batman," said Batman with a warm smile.

"And IIIII'M Robin!" shouted the Boy Wonder, with Batman grumbling out an annoyed "Merf" and ignored Robin's outburst.

"Look, I am tryin' to gets'um info on the Black Mask's fruit ring," whispered Harvey Bullock, "So don't blow me cuvah!"

Batman and Robin looked at him in confusion, hearing the stupid confession from the detective. Batman shook his head and giggled at the explanation, saying with humorous disbelief, "Okay! That's the dumbest thing in the whole crapsacky world. Only Christian Weston Chandler could come up with something as retarded like that!"

Robin looked behind the duo, then giving a giant wide-eyed fear on his face, yanking Batman's cape like a little child. Batman turned around to see something that made him go with a dark despair of his own deduction, "Are you fucking kidding me!?"

What they saw was a local fruit stand, run by the Black Mask, eating a pomegranate. He was busy looking around to see the two vigilantes, waiting for someone to buy his fruit.

Batman looked back at Harvey Bullock, whom was sporting a really high smile that smelt of annoying smug, kinda like whenever Chris-Chan smiles.

"…Okay, you have a valid argument," said Batman, "I was just worried that you actually got dumb…er."

"Yeah, well, the fruit business is a very serious and lucrative thing, Bats," growled Harvey Bullock proudly.

"…Really?" scoffed Batman.

"Yeah," said Harvey without hesitation.

"Really?" dug Batman deeper.

"…Maybe a bit," breathed out Harvey Bullock. Batman shook his head and was followed by Robin back into the Batmobile, starting it back up as Batman sent the Batmobile back in reverse.

Bullock would hear a loud rev for some time before seeing the Batmobile rush out from nowhere and smash into the Black Mask's fruit stand, destroying it.

Roman dropped his pomegranate on the sidewalk and fell to his knees, all while looking calm. With that, he began slamming his head over and over and over against the sidewalk with extreme anger and pain. He didn't care, his fruit stand was ruined.

Bullock was happy with this turn of events, he was going to make a killing.


The Banana Slug: The first story was based on a comic cover from the Silver Age, which had Penguin get shocked by a Telephone Wire with Batman and Robin laughing from underneath. Yeah.

The Silver Age was awesome.

And Now! It's time for…BATMAN CONFIDENTIALS!


Name: Nightwing AKA Dick Grayson

Voice Actor: Scott Menville (I may love Young Justice, but we ALL know Teen Titans came first. No arguments, folks.)

Description: He is tall, slender, and has the build of an acrobat. He has short spiky black hair and a small black patch under his lower lip. He wears a black padded Kevlar suit with a blue symbol of a bird. He tried red, but Robin got pissed. He also wears a domino mask that protects his identity.

Likes: Martial arts, Barbara Gordon, Starfire, Raven, Being with the ladies, Egg Muffins, Trolling, and Being as close as possible as Bruce Lee

Dislikes: Jason Todd's whining, Jason Todd's crazy antics, Indian food, Jason Todd's claim over his stuff when he doesn't, Pretty much Jason Todd's personality in a nutshell