Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who
The reviewer jg16395 came up with a nickname for the four Time Lords – the Time Quartet. If I use it, you know where it came from.
Dinosaurs on a Spaceship – Part One
The Doctor ran through the halls of an ancient Egyptian temple – well, at the moment it wasn't ancient at all, more brand new all things considered – but regardless, he ran through the halls pulling Romana along by her hand. They had to get out of there. "Bye then, lovely meeting you, sorry about the mess!" he yelped as an elegantly dressed woman, Queen Nefertiti, spun him around and pushed him back against the doors of the TARDIS.
"You think I'll just let you leave without me, after what we've just been through?" she asked seductively, running her hand over his hair. Romana stifled a snigger; he didn't know why, the Queen was flirting with him right in front of her, shouldn't she be more upset? He tried to push Nefertiti away. "You've got the Egyptian people to rule, Queen Nefertiti. They'll need reassuring after that weapon-bearing giant alien locust attack we just stopped rather brilliantly" he pointed out in a rush, voice getting higher as he held her at arm's length.
Suddenly a noise erupted from his pockets, making the Queen jump back in surprise. The Doctor pulled his psychic paper out of his pocket. "Oh dear, sorry; I've got it set to Temporal News for You. That's interesting" he grinned, seeing what was on the paper. "What is?" asked Nefertiti, trying to look over his shoulder, and he snapped the wallet shut. "Nothing, not interesting, not at all" he rambled…before taking another peek. "Oooh, never been there. Exciting! Come on!" he ushered Romana into the TARDIS, only for Nefertiti to follow them. "You're not coming!" he protested as they took off.
She raised a slender eyebrow and assumed an imperious pose. "And why not?" she questioned. The Doctor made an exasperated gesture and replied "Because you keep flirting with me, which is really not good because I'm married. We're married!"; he gestured between himself and Romana. Honestly, they'd been having some lovely couple time just before the locust aliens attacked and Nefertiti decided to make advances towards him even though he was off limits, thank you very much.
"I see no proof that you are married to this woman" Nefertiti replied coolly, "and besides, I never intended our relationship to be quite so…permanent". The Doctor had a flashback of Amy trying to seduce him and shook it off. Doesn't this bother you? he asked Romana.
Not really; why would it?
Err, because we're married
Exactly
…No, sorry, lost
We're married, Theta. I trust you, and I know you love me and only me…isn't that right?
Yes, yes, of course! "Yes" he said out loud, leaning forward to give her a kiss. Hopefully Nefertiti would get the message…eventually. They walked out of the now materialised TARDIS into the Indian Space Agency, under the control of UNIT. It was the year 2367 A.D. The woman who had contacted them, Indira, showed a holographic image of a space-craft they had discovered hurtling towards the planet. "Craft size approximately ten million square kilometres" said Indira as she ran through the data they'd collected on the vessel.
"A ship the size of Canada coming at Earth very fast; any signs of life?" asked the Doctor. Indira touched the holo-screen saying "We sent up a drone craft. It took these readings". Data filed into view beneath the slowly rotating image of the spaceship. Romana thought it had an… almost organic quality. It reminded her of a hugely magnified pollen spore. "Crikey, Charlie, look at that. Oooh, I know someone who'd love to have a look at that" the Doctor said in excitement.
"And the Ponds. Mustn't forget the Ponds, must we? Haven't seen them in ages. I'm riffing. People usually stop me when I'm riffing, or carry on without me. That's also an option" he rambled. Romana shook her head in amusement and kissed him. "You are ridiculous" she murmured. Nefertiti pointed at the hologram. "Can you communicate with this craft?" she inquired. Indira glanced at the Doctor and Romana. "She's with us" Romana assured her before the Doctor could say anything. "Good question, Neffy" he added instead.
"No" Indira replied, "No response on any channel, in any recognised language. If it comes within ten thousand kilometres of Earth, we send up missiles" she explained. The Doctor sighed. "Oh, Indira, I liked you before you said missiles. How long till the ship gets that close?" he asked, and Indira answered "Six hours, nineteen minutes".
"Right. Better get a shift on, then. Leave it with us. Come on Ro, Neffy. We're going to need help" said the Doctor, running back to the TARDIS with them. The first place they went to was the African plains in 1902 A.D, where the Corsair was spending time with a friend he'd made, John Riddell, a big game hunter. "More stew?" the Doctor asked as he sat on a log beside them. "Where've you been, man?" Riddell questioned, "Seven months. You said you were popping out for some liquorice. We had two very disappointed dancers on our hands. Not that we couldn't manage" he smirked.
"Make that two disappointed Spanish dancers. Ole!" the Corsair grinned. The Doctor blinked and said "You guys, listen. We've found, well, something".
"No, no, no, no, no. I shan't fall for that again… What is it?"
"I've no idea. Do you want to find out?"
/
Amy and Rory stood on either side of a stepladder, holding it steady as Rory's dad Brian fixed a broken bulb. On the settee nearby sat Flavia, idly flicking through a magazine, and their four year old daughter Melody who was reading 'The Big Fat Caterpillar'; granted, it was mostly pictures, but it was a start. "I think it's the fitting" said Brian.
"Dad, it's not the fitting, it just needs a new bulb" Rory insisted. "You're wobbling the ladder" Brian told him, and he held up his hands to show he wasn't even touching it. "I'm not!" he protested. "I don't want another loft incident" Brian added warningly. Amy put her head around the side of the ladder and looked up at him. "How's my side, Brian?" she asked innocently.
"Perfect as ever, Amy"
"Thank you Brian" Amy nodded. She smirked at Rory, who mouthed his dad's words mockingly. "I don't know what he said to you to make you marry him, but he's a lucky man" Brian commented, just as a familiar wheezing sound began to emanate through the room. The pages of the magazine Flavia was reading began to flap about, and she face-palmed. "No, why?" she groaned. Brian looked puzzled. "You leave the back door open?" he asked. Flavia walked over to the other adults, and Amy beckoned to Melody. "Come here, sweetheart".
Melody bounced off the couch and skipped over to Amy, beaming. "Hooray! They're coming!" she cheered happily. "Who's coming?" Brian wondered…as the TARDIS materialised around them. The moment everything was solid, Melody hurried over to the Corsair as fast as her little legs would carry her, and he scooped her up. "Hello!" the Doctor said cheerfully, apparently oblivious to Brian's presence or Flavia's disapproving glare. "You weren't busy, were you? Well, even if you were, it wasn't as interesting as this probably is. Didn't want you to miss it. Now, just a quick hop".
They materialised on the enormous spaceship. "Everyone, grab a torch" the Doctor directed, as a compartment full of them dropped open. Then he walked out, followed by a woman wearing Egyptian clothes and Romana. The Corsair, still carrying Melody, picked up a torch and tossed it a few times as he went out the doors, followed by a man dressed in safari gear. Only Rory, Amy, Brian and Flavia were left. "Err, dad?" Rory said hesitantly, "you might want to come down off the ladder now".
Brian dropped the bulb.
Beyond the TARDIS doors lay a large, dusty and disused wide area, large enough to fit a car into. It seemed safe enough, so the Corsair set Melody down, and she spun on the spot. "Wow, a real spaceship!" she squealed happily, oblivious to Nefertiti's bewildered stare. "Is the child…necessary for this mission?" she inquired. Just then Amy came out of the TARDIS, and she replied coolly "That's my daughter, Melody, and yes she is". She went to hug the Corsair, as Flavia and Rory stepped out of the TARDIS behind her.
"Hey, Melody, meet my friend John Riddell. John, this is my honorary niece Melody" the Corsair introduced her. Melody saw him as a 'more fun uncle' as she'd put it once, and in apparent age at least, he was more like Amy's brother than her uncle. Granted, they didn't really look anything alike, but still...Riddell grinned down at Melody and said "Nice to meet you, miss. If I'd known someone as cute as you would be joining us, I'd have been even more excited". Melody giggled; she didn't really get what he meant, but he seemed nice.
Then out came Brian. He stared around at the spaceship and only managed to say "What the…" before the Doctor, who'd been trying to avoid Nefertiti, strode over to him. "Don't move!" he commanded, and Brian froze up. "Do you really think I'm that stupid I wouldn't notice? How did you get aboard, eh? Transmat? Who sent you?" he asked, shining his torch in Brian's face. Romana pushed his arm down as Rory informed him, "Doctor, that's my dad".
The Doctor looked from Brian to him and announced "Well frankly, that's outrageous".
"What?"
"You think you can just bring your dad along without asking? I'm not a taxi service, you know" the Doctor protested. Rory stared at him in exasperation. "You materialised around us!" he cried. The Doctor looked at Romana, who confirmed it with a nod, and smiled. "Oh. Well, that's fine, then. My mistake. Hello, Brian. How are you? Nice to meet you" he said, shaking Brian's hand, "Welcome, welcome. This is the gang. I've got a gang. Yes. Come on then, everyone" he beckoned.
Whilst Rory tried to explain what was going on to his dad, the others followed the Doctor. Flavia berated him for materialising around them all like that. "What if one of us had been elsewhere in the house and come back to find everyone else gone?" she pointed out. The Doctor waved her off. "I would've waited" he assured her unconvincingly. The ship trembled around them and creaked. "All right, where are we?" questioned Amy, "What is that noise and hello, ten months?" she pointed out.
"Orbiting the planet" the Doctor replied, "well, I say orbiting. More like pre-crashing, on a spaceship. Don't know, and hello Pond" he spun around to give her a hug, "Ten months! Time flies, never really understood that phrase. This is Neffy, this is Riddell. They're with us" he introduced the two extra companions. Riddell tipped his hat to Amy with a smile, "Charmed".
Amy looked from him to the Doctor in alarm. "With you? They're with you? Are they the new us? Is that why we haven't seen you?" she questioned. Romana smiled reassuringly at Amy over her shoulder. "It's not like that, Amy. Riddell is a mate of the Corsair's and she", Romana gestured to Nefertiti, "is a…an acquaintance of the Doctor's".
"Yes, acquaintance!" the Doctor agreed quickly, "they're not Ponds, they're just people. I thought we might need a new gang. Not really had a gang before. It's new" he explained. The Corsair stared at him incredulously. "What about us, your co-pilots?" he questioned. "We're not really a gang, are we? There's only four of us. We're more like a…quartet! The Time Quartet…ooh, that's a great name for a band. Hey, maybe we should"-
"We're not starting a band, Doctor" Flavia cut him off, "and since when does a gang need more than four people?" She never received an answer because at that moment, they came across a bulkhead door with red lights switching on, on either side of it – some kind of goods lift. "It's coming down" the Doctor informed nobody in particular. "What is it?" asked Riddell. "No idea" he admitted. By now the others had all caught up, and they stood watching the lift come down and stop with a thump. The doors slid open and a bright light shone through; backlit by the light were two hulking shapes.
Brian stared in disbelief. "Not possible" he whispered. "Run!" the Doctor called out, and Brian didn't need telling twice. Rory grabbed Melody and followed him, as did the others, apart from the Doctor. "Doctor!" Amy and Romana called out as one, coming back to drag him away. "I know" he said with a gleeful grin, "dinosaurs, on a spaceship!"
"Yes love, now let's get out of their way" Romana suggested. They ran for it and hid in a large alcove, big enough for all nine of them to fit along one wall. It seemed the craft was supersized for a reason. The two ankylosaurs stopped just outside their hiding place, bellowing and thumping their tails. Riddell whipped out a hunting knife. "I could take one of them. Short blow up into the throat" he muttered. "What about the other one?" hissed the Corsair, and the Doctor told them "Nothing, no taking. We've just found dinosaurs in space, we need to preserve them".
Riddell glanced back at him. "Who's going to preserve us?" he questioned. Amy shushed them. The ankylosaurs moved on, sending dust falling from the ceiling as they went. They stepped out of the alcove. "Okay, so, how and whose ship?" Rory inquired. The Doctor grinned excitedly and rubbed his hands together. "Well, there's so much to discover. Think how wise we'll be by the end of all this" he pointed out, putting an arm around Rory's shoulders. "Sorry, sorry" Brian interjected, "are you saying dinosaurs are flying a spaceship?"
"Brian, please, that would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers. Did I mention missiles?" the Doctor asked, much to Brian and Rory's alarm. "Missiles?" the older human exclaimed in shock. The Doctor patted his shoulder and said "Didn't want to worry you. Anyway, six hours is a lifetime. Not literally a lifetime. That's what we're trying to avoid" he joked, before quickly adding "And we're all really clever. Oooh, let's see what we can find out. Come on" he said, leading them all to a bank of computer terminals.
The screens were covered in thick cobwebs. As the Doctor brushed them away, the others shone their torches around the area. Torchlight landed on gouges in the walls that could only have been caused by carnivores. Melody went up to touch them, and Amy followed close behind. "How many dinosaurs do you think are on here?" she asked curiously. "The ship is the size of Canada; there could be hundreds of dinosaurs on board. Riddell, that doesn't mean you can kill a few off, it doesn't work like that" the Corsair warned the hunter, who scowled at him.
"Oh, well done, whoever you are" the Doctor said suddenly, "Looking for engines. Thank you, computer. Look at that" he said to Rory, Brian and the Corsair, who came over for a look, "Different sections have different engines, but these look like the primary clusters. Where are we now, computer? We need to get down to these engines" he said, and in a flash of light, all four men gathered around the computer terminal disappeared. "What happened?" Nefertiti questioned. Amy looked up and groaned. "Oh, great".
