"It's all set," Lorelai muttered the Saturday morning one week before her wedding over her morning coffee.
"What's all set?" Luke asked as he sat across from her at the kitchen table.
"All of it. The flowers, the dresses, the tuxes, the table settings. It's all set."
"Why are you saying that like it's a bad thing?" Luke asked, growing confused as Lorelai flipped through her wedding binder at a manic pace.
"Because how can it be all set? We still have a week before we're getting married. I have to be forgetting something."
"Or, maybe, your years of planning weddings for other people made it easier to plan your own wedding, and you're ready ahead of schedule. Did you consider that?"
"Uh, well, no. Not really."
"Do you want to know the problem here?" Luke asked her as she took another sip of coffee.
"Actually, no. I don't like problems. I avoid them when I can, and I don't like people pointing them out to me."
"Lorelai." Luke warned.
"Sure, big, strong, intelligent man. Tell me what's wrong with me." Lorelai said sarcastically.
"You need to relax," He told her. "You've been holed up doing work stuff or wedding stuff for weeks. I feel like I'm losing you to a mistress, but the mistress is our wedding."
"I promise you will never lose me to a literal mistress."
"Good, can you write that in the vows?"
"Sure, as long as you swear to never look at another woman anywhere other than the face for the rest of your life."
"You already know that I don't." Luke said, giving her a look just to make sure that she knew. "No need to look around when I managed to sneak a ring on the finger of the world's most beautiful woman."
"I like you, Mister." Lorelai teased as she crawled into his lap, pressing a kiss to his lips.
"Not that it matters, because I fell in love with your eyes before anything else."
"They're the same as yours, that's a little egotistical, don't you think?"
"No, they aren't. They're both blue, but yours are much more expressive. It's how I know when you tell me you're fine but you're really not. You're a pretty good liar, but your eyes give you away. They're brighter when you're excited."
"What kind of excited?" Lorelai whispered in his ear.
"Not that kind. They're darker then. When you're dorky-excited."
"Excuse you, I'm not dorky!" Lorelai said indignantly.
"Yes, you absolutely are."
"Name an instance when I was dorky."
"Uh, the painting song you sang to me when you were trying to convince me to paint the diner?"
"Which totally worked!"
"And was totally dorky."
"Well, you proposed, so you can't hate it that much."
"I don't hate. I love it. I love that you get dorky-excited about town meetings and festivals and filling the salt and pepper shakers at the diner. It makes me happy to see you that happy."
"Can I tell you something that makes me really, really happy?" Lorelai whispered.
"You can tell me anything," he reminded her.
"I get to marry you next week."
"That makes me really, really happy too."
"Almost as happy as you are to go out with the guys tonight?"
"Marrying you makes me much happier than going to my bachelor party tonight. You know I'd be perfectly happy to stay home with Rory while you went out with the girls."
"Rory will be with Lane and you are going out. You're going to have a good time. Go look at almost-naked other women who aren't me for the last time."
"For the last time, we're not going to a strip club."
"Luke, I mean it when I say that this is your last chance. If you stagger home drunk from the strip club some night when we're married I'm throwing you out."
"Lorelai, when have I ever been to a strip club or come home to you drunk? I would never, especially not when Rory's in the house."
"I know you wouldn't, I just live off of the drama so sometimes I have to create it myself."
"You're a lot of work."
"Yes, I'm a full-time job, and I'm all yours."
"All mine."
Later that night, Lorelai was in the bathroom getting for the night of barhopping ahead of her while Luke sat on the bed watching a baseball game. She picked up a can and sprayed it towards her scalp. Luke almost immediately started coughing.
"Sorry, baby," Lorelai apologized as she opened a window.
"That stuff smells disgusting," he complained about the hairspray.
"I know," She agreed.
"Why are you using all that crap anyway?" Luke asked, and Lorelai gave a fake horrified gasp, coming out of the bathroom to continue their conversation.
"This stuff is not crap. This stuff is how I get pretty for you every morning. The Lorelai you know is a carefully manicured illusion." Lorelai tried to explain to him.
"Lorelai, I see you without all that crap on your face every night before we go to bed and every morning before we get up."
"Yeah, but that's not the me you fell in love with."
"Yes it is."
"Luke." Lorelai started to protest.
"I'm attracted to illusion-Lorelai, sure… but I fell in love with Lorelai." He said, reaching for her hand to pull her into his lap. "I fell in love with your dark hair spread across the white pillowcase, I fell in love with the freckles you work so hard to cover up, I fell in love with those big, bright, blue eyes that don't need any of the pencils or powders in that bag to attract attention to them. That's the Lorelai I fell in love with."
"You are so getting lucky when I get home tonight." Lorelai smiled at him before giving him a long, slow, kiss.
"Any chance of getting lucky now?"
"Sorry baby. I've got to finish getting ready."
Three bars into her crawl with Sookie, Babette, Ms. Patty, and Gypsy, Lorelai flipped her phone open to check the time. 11:18. By now she and Luke normally would have showered and brushed their teeth. Lorelai would probably be flipping through the channels aimlessly, knowing nothing would be on but not willing to admit yet that she was ready for bed. Lorelai looked into the fourth bar and told the girls to go ahead in, she was just going to give Luke a quick call. The phone only rang twice before he picked up.
"Hey. You okay? I wasn't expecting to hear from you tonight."
"My hair is crunchy."
"Your hair is what?"
"My hair is crunchy, and I haven't looked in a mirror recently but I'm sure my eyeshadow is all over my face by now, and bars are really gross on Saturdays. Did you know that? It's been at least 10 years since I went to a bar, and they're much more crowded and loud than I remember. My shoes are covered in spilled beer and the smell is probably never going to come out. My outfit is cute as hell but it's cold outside, but I couldn't wear a jacket because people get way too close to you in these bars and then you're sharing body heat and it's way too hot. Anyway, I'm not that drunk, but I'm drunk enough to know that I should be having a good time, because everybody else is having a good time, but I really just want to come home and go to bed with you. Am I lame and old for that? Actually, I don't care if that makes me lame and old. I'm coming home."
"Wait, Lorelai, wait. Don't go anywhere yet. Did you drive there?"
"No, we took a taxi. I'll just take a taxi."
"I don't want you getting into a taxi right now. I'll come get you."
"Okay, I'll be waiting outside."
"Where's everyone else?"
"They went in. I didn't want to call you in there, it's too loud."
"Go inside. It's late and dark. I don't want you on the street alone."
"It's so gross in there! I'll bum a cigarette off of somebody out here, if people see me smoking they'll know not to mess with me."
"Lorelai, so help me God, if you light a cigarette it will literally break me. Just go inside and stay with the other girls please. I'm getting into the car, I'll be there soon."
True to his word, Luke showed up twenty minutes later, walking through the bar doors with his eyes immediately searching for Lorelai, wanting to be in and out as quickly as possible. He spotted Sookie first, and that led him to his fiance.
"Luke! You came!" Lorelai said excitedly.
"Of course I came."
"Okay, bye ladies." Lorelai said, stumbling to each of the women in her party and giving them a hug before practically falling into Luke. He managed to get her out of the loud, crowded bar, and then he spoke up again.
"You weren't this drunk when I called," Luke said, not an accusation, but a question.
"The bartender saw our outfits and gave us free shots." She said, and Luke looked her over. She was wearing a short, white lace dress with long sleeves and a pair of cowboy boots she had snagged from the piles of junk from the rummage sale. Over the dress, she wore a white sash with blue lettering that read "Bride to be,"and a plastic tiara sat atop her curls. "I haven't done tequila shots since before Rory was conceived. I forgot how strong they were."
"Let's get you home and get some food in you," Luke said, opening the door of the truck and helping her in.
"Luke, did you mean what you said before, about smoking?" Lorelai asked gently, and he gave her a look of genuine concern.
"Why?" He asked. She didn't smoke, did she? She had perfect teeth, he could never smell it on her clothes, he'd never seen a pack of cigarettes in the house.
"I used to. Before I got pregnant with Rory. I gave it up when I found out about her. I just thought you should know before we got married, since you seem to feel so strongly about it." She said somberly.
"Lorelai, you can't possibly think that I wouldn't want to marry you because you used to smoke sixteen years ago."
"I don't know, Luke. My brain is all messed up right now. Who decided it was a good idea to liquor-up brides a week before their wedding? I have a bone to pick with that guy."
"Lorelai, look at me."
Lorelai glanced over at him, and he did his best to split his attention between her and the road in front of them.
"I am never leaving, okay? I will never leave. I will never think about leaving. If our marriage runs into problems, I will do whatever it takes to fix what's wrong. Okay? Tell me that you know that. It's important to me that you know that."
"I know. I do." She said.
"Good. Come on, we're home. Let's get you to bed." Luke came around to open the door for her, and she stepped out of the truck, immediately attaching her lips to his neck.
"Lorelai," Luke said, shocked but not wanting her to stop.
"I did promise you you'd get lucky tonight." Lorelai whispered as she lifted her foot up to shut the car door behind her, then spinning the two of them around and pressing him against the truck.
"Lorelai," Luke murmured as he moved a hand to her waist and another through her hair. "Oh, it is crunchy. I get it now," he remarked as she moved her lips up his jaw.
"Too much hairspray," She explained. She found a pulse point on his neck and he couldn't take it anymore. He flipped the two of them around so her back was pressed against the door.
"Luke Danes, are you taking advantage of a poor, intoxicated girl like me?" She whispered to him, curling one hand around the hair on the back of his head as her other hand settled against his chest.
"I'm certainly trying to," He whispered, stooping to kiss her neck and then lifting her off the ground, carrying her up the porch steps, only putting her down to get the front door open. They stepped through the door still connected, and managed to close it behind them without separating.
"Oh, Mr. Danes," Lorelai breathed out as she felt his lips on the juncture between her neck and her shoulder. "You are entirely overdressed." She remarked, pushing him into a seated position on the kitchen table to work on the buttons of his flannel. He pulled her closer and allowed his hands to rest on her rear, squeezing to encourage her to continue as she made tantalizingly slow work of each individual button. As soon as she was finished, Luke pushed the flannel off of his shoulders and pulled the white undershirt over his head.
"Someone's impatient."
"You make me crazy," he growled, pushing the hem of her dress up and rubbing his thumbs over her thighs.
"I've been thinking about you all night." she whispered as she climbed into his lap. "Thinking about your big, strong, hands on me." She whispered to him, pulling his earlobe in between her teeth and then kissing down his neck, her hands trailing down his chest.
"Lorelai," Luke murmured as his hands splayed over her back, searching for a zipper which he eventually found. He teased her with the pull as much as she had teased him with the buttons, and Lorelai was beginning to understand the phrase "Karma's a bitch" in a whole new way. Eventually she pulled her arms out of the sleeves and shoved the dress down her body, allowing the lace to pool in Luke's lap. She ran her thumb over his tattoo and kissed it appreciatively. "I always forget about this… So sexy." she murmured. "Is that why you got it? You think tattoos are hot, Butch? Should I get a coffee cup on my hip? Maybe a little heart on my back?"
"I got the tattoo because I was eighteen and stupid. You're smarter than me. Leave your skin be."
"You like me pure?'
"You're far from pure, Gilmore." Luke murmured. "I like you just like this."
"Take me upstairs."
