"That's why I'm asking if you were sure about keeping Hatsukoi… There is always a possibility of our plan failing,.." he says watching her stare at the floor as he finishes explaining
"I'll do it… I'll only be away from her for a few weeks, it's not the longest I've waited to see her" she says looking back up at him
"You do have a few months with her before it starts" he says trying to cheer up her sad expression
"Yeah… I should get back to her" she half smiles then turns away from him
"Shae?" Gaara says, she turns back towards him
"Hm?"
"What happened here a few days ago, wasn't your fault, neither was Kara's death"
"It doesn't feel that way… I'm only hoping for the spring to come soon and everything to be ready" she whispers
"Neither was Hatsukoi's adopted parents" he moves from behind his desk slowly towards her
"Gaara, I can't talk about this right now" she says trying to hold back her tears, the constant guilt of so many peoples deaths eating away at her since she's known about the traps and anbu missing
"It's clear you need too" he stops in front of her, she shakes her head
"I can't I have Hatsukoi now, I can't fall a part, it's not an option anymore" she quickly wipes away a tear
"If the responsibility of taking care of her with the guilt you are feeling, then what happens? Should she suffer the repercussions when you've reached your limit? Unless you are also angry you won't express how you are feeling… " he waits for her to respond
"…I… I can't stay long…" she glances up at him
"I understand.." he motions for her to join him on the couch, she sits next to him, breathing in deep before asking him about the village and how they're handling what happened, her role in their plan, and Kara.
"I was hoping when this is over, that I could bring Kara back and we could say she was on an extended mission for why she was gone for so long" she shrugs sighing
"It's possible, though you would have to ask Naruto for permission first" he smiles at how she no longer looked to have the weight of the world on her shoulders
"We've been talking for two hours, I need to go" she smiles standing up
"Um, thank you for listening to me… I didn't realize just how much I had to say." She turns towards the door
"If you need to,, I'm always here…" she nods her head opening the door, leaving him standing next to the couch
'I wonder how he's holding up, she was happy the whole time' "What happened to you?" Shae snickers as she enters the kitchen seeing Neji holding Hatsukoi in his lap as she eats what look like cheerios in her hand and from his hair, he sighs
"She wouldn't eat unless I held her and that was the only thing she wanted" he picks a piece of cereal from his hair setting it next to her bowl of cereal. Hatsukoi smiles reaching up to Shae, clenching and unclenching her hands at her to pick her up.
"All you wanted was cereal? No na nums?" she asks picking her up, Hatsukoi shaking her head
"No? why not? You love na nums" she smiles sitting down in the chair next to him opening a small jar of pureed fruit from the middle of the table and a spoon, she made for Hatsukoi, she shakes her head still taking a bite of her fruit then eating a cheerio stuck to her hand
"Is 'no' your favorite word?" she asks still feeding her, she shakes her head "Is it your favorite cause Neji always tells you no?" she smiles looking up at him still picking cereal from his hair narrowing his eyes at her
"Hm, at least she knows what it means… except when she does that" he says watching her shake her head at him
"I'm sorry you think she should be talking in full sentences by now with her being only a little over a year old" she raises her brow at him
"I never said that, from what I've read she's developing at a normal pace" he says standing up walking to the living room, picking up the mess caused by Hatsukoi's curiosity
"What you read?" she asks watching him from the kitchen, he nods, picking up a book from the top shelf above the phone showing her the cover of it
"A baby book?"
"It's been helpful for when she does some odd things, or at least what I would consider odd since I've never taken care of a small child before. I borrowed it from the library when you and Hatsukoi were having a nap together yesterday… " he looks up from the book to Shae to see her staring at him with a kind of wonder before she looks down to Hatsukoi wiping her mouth with napkin from the middle of the table
"Oh.." she says softly standing up walking to the sink, filling a sippy cup with water and giving it to Hatsukoi
"Should I have gotten a different one?" he asks turning it over "It was given a mom's choice award… if that means anything to you" he looks back up at her
"Uh no, I'm sure it has a lot of information I don't know about. Alright sweet heart, into your play pen while I make Neji and I dinner" she says walking to the corner of the living room
"I can make us dinner. I'm sure she would rather play with you than stay in her play pen" he sets the book back onto the shelf then walking into the kitchen
"Thanks" she sits on the floor with Hatsukoi, she looks up at Neji watching him taking out vegetables from the fridge, setting up all that was needed for dinner.
….
"There, she's sleeping" she smiles walking into the living room
"Hm?" he glances up at her from the baby book
"I said she's sleeping now…" she sits down remembering the kitchen she stands up
"It's clean" he says still reading his book, she looks from him to the kitchen seeing the dishes air drying on the rack and the small mess Hatsukoi made in her high chair was also clean, she looks around the living room which had her toys neatly stacked in the corner and anything with a sharp edge or books placed on the shelf out of Hatsukoi's reach
"How long was I in the room putting her to bed?" she asks sitting back down next to him
"Not long, a half hour… "
She curls her legs underneath her facing him
"I have to wait a few weeks to sign some papers for Hatsukoi" she tilts her head, resting her arm along the back of the couch towards him
"Hn, I remember that being in your adoption contract"
"and we talked about Kara and the plan the Kages have.." she says softly, he sighs, placing a book mark in the book and then setting it down on the coffee table in front of them
"When it's time to leave, I'm coming with you. Don't argue with me about being able to take care of yourself, we'll leave Hatsukoi with one of our friends while we're gone and what?" he says raising brow at her smiling
"I was going to ask if you would come with me, I wasn't going to argue with you. "
"Oh. I see… " he relaxes into the couch still facing her
"I never said thank you properly, for bringing me to Hatsukoi"
"I promised I would, if you ever needed too."
"I know and I should've trusted you when you said it, obviously you meant it.." she says looking down at his arm, the memory of him cutting himself open just to bring her to Suna forever engraved in her memory
"Neji, Im sorry…"
"I'm sorry for using the syringe on you, of course it was only water but if I didn't, Asuma or another nin would've used the real sedative" he looks down to her thigh then back up at her, she leans in kissing him
"I want you to know that I do notice you're trying… and I appreciate it.. a lot…I like being with you-"
"Not yet…" he whisper bringing his hand to her cheek, covering her lips with his thumb to keep from returning her kiss and have it escalate
"I wasn't trying to start anything…" she says against his thumb
"We never do."
….
"Any news?" Naruto asks starring at the telecom screen
"She said she would join us, I explained the risks" Gaara says folding his hands in his lap
"Good" Naruto smiles "She's not joining out of revenge is she? Everything can turn out differently if she is"
"I'm not sure yet, she's been very open with me the few times we've talked. However, it could be a way to throw us off any ulterior plan she could have."
"Hm, she should stay there for a few more weeks, see if anything comes out"
"She's keeping Hatsukoi"
"She is?" Naruto raising a brow then smiling wide
"Yes, we'll be filling out her adoption papers again , she's defaulted as guardian but not as the parent. It should take a few weeks."
"Alright. Hey Gaara?"
"Hm?"
"If I bought Hatsukoi a crib do you think Shae would stop looking pissed off when she sees me?" Naruto asks thinking scratching his head sheepishly
"I believe time will only be able to heal the feelings she has towards you. After all, I've only recently started speaking with her again…. You can't buy her forgiveness"
"If only it was that easy" Naruto grumbles "She's okay with staying in her room?"
"Yes, Hatsukoi has been taking up most of her day, she only asks to go to the music room"
"I'll make arrangements here for when we leave and let the other Kage know. Bye Gaara" Naruto smiles with a nod
"Good bye Naruto" Gaara says giving a nod and a small smile before disconnecting
….
"City lights don't shine as bright when were a part, baby you have got the keys to my heart" Shae sings clapping her hands as Hatsukoi smiles and crawls towards her "Promise that you'll never leave me in the dark, and if I lose my light be my star" she picks her up still singing as Hatsukoi hums along with her, prying Shae's mouth open with her hand when she stops singing
"mm lou lou lou lou" Hatsukoi says trying to get her to keep singing
"Hm.." Shae turns hearing a small laugh
"Yes?" she raises her brow at Neji
"I think she's your smallest fan" he crouches down next to them giving Hatsukoi a sippy cup filled with apple juice
"Smallest and cutest" she gushes kissing her cheek, as Hatsukoi tries pushing her away trying to drink her cup
"The Kazekage wants to see you.." he says placing the few toys Shae brought with them to the music room into the baby bag
"Oh okay, Let's go sweet heart" she stands up holding Hatsukoi as Neji picks up the baby bag
"Where did you go?" Shae asks as they walk out of the music room
"She needed more pampers and clothes, the sales women was very helpful, it wasn't as expensive as I thought it was going to be' he says as they walk up the stairs
"Yeah I bet she was helpful" she raises her brow at him, making him furrow his
"I don't know what you're getting at but it wasn't like that, she was helpful with what to buy for her age"
"Her age or Hatsukoi's age?"she smiles seeing Neji becoming slightly annoyed at her teasing
"Hatsukois age" he holds out his arms for her as they reach the top stair
"mmhhmm suure" she snickers as Hatsukoi holds onto Neji and her sippy cup in the other hand
"Hatsukoi say bye to your mother" he says in a flat tone looking at her smiling at him
"Buh-eyyye" she says softly, clenching and unclenching her hand at Shae
"Aww you taught her to say bye" she says tilting her head feeling her insides melt at Hatsukoi's soft voice
"Was that.. was that her first word?" she whispers stepping closer holding onto her out stretched hand
"No, what was your first word Hatsukoi?" he says then mouths a word to her, Hatsukoi watches his mouth closely, mimicking his action
"Mum mum mum mum" she says still watching Neji closely
"Oh" they hear and turn to Shae's sharp intake of breath "You are so smart" she whispers kissing her hand then the top of her head
"When did you teach her that?" she looks up at Neji
"The last time you seen the Kazekage" he smiles, Hatsukoi looks up at him covering his mouth with her hand, he looks down at her raising a brow at her making her laugh
"Did you tell her she's smart? Tell her she's smart" she nudges Neji's arm
"You're smart" he says as she continues to cover his mouth she giggles before letting him go and drinking the rest of her sippy cup
"Shae?" he smiles at her adoring Hatsukoi
"Yeah?"
"Your meeting?"
"Oh right. I'll be right back" she smiles waving walking to Gaara's office as he turns leaving back to her room
"Hi" she says closing the door behind her, walking to the couch sitting down next to Gaara smiling wide
"You're very happy today, was she finally able to walk by herself?" he asks
"No, not yet. She still couch surfs, you know, holding onto the couch or the table and uses it to walk but she said her first two words, and she's so smart and funny" she pauses realizing that's not why she was there for "Sorry, I'm excited for her, obviously… I swore Id never be one of "those' moms but I can't help it" she laughs picking up her tea from the table
"What did you want to talk to me about?" she sips her tea
"To see how you and Hatsukoi have been adjusting over the past three weeks" He says pcking up his own
"Good, good. She doesn't cry as much as the first week she does have a nightmare from time to time and Neji has been a really big help" she nods tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear
"How would you feel about having Matsuri and Yukata helping you for the duration of your stay?" he watches her closely, catching the slightest hesitation to her movements
"Gaara, I need him to help me with her, I mean he's actually been helpful, he's the one that tught her, her first two words and"
"Naruto needs him too"
"Well when her papers are signed and we're back in Konoha he can send him on whatever mission he wants" she places her tea cup back on the table
'Naruto needs him to scout a few area's for our shinobi"
"There are other sensory types, he's not the only fucking Hyuga" she says trying not to snap at him, his calm demeanor beginning to make her even more angry
"He is however, the only sensory type that has anbu status and has done this type of mission before"
"Where is his letter or scroll for his request to return home?" she says narrowing her eyes at him, Gaara stands after placing his tea back down walking to his desk handing her a scoll.
"Immediately?.." she whispers reading Narutos hand writing over and over
"Yes, Yukata will be helping you tomorrow and Matsuri will alternate days" he says watching her read the scroll for the dozen time
"Fine. I have to get back to Hatsukoi" she says standing from the couch, quickly walking out.
She walks back into her room, not seeing Neji she enters the kitchen, still holding the scroll in hand, using her chakra depletion, the scroll keeping it's shape, she throws it against the wall
"Shae? What's wrong? I just put her down for a nap" he says as the scroll rolling under the kitchen table catches his eye, he glances up at her covering her face as he picks it up reading it
"I don't want you to leave" she whispers facing away from him, clearing her throat, he rolls and wraps the scroll back up
"I have too" he says quietly placing the scroll on the table
"Tsk, you have too, what about us!" she turns around hissing her words at him, not to make loud noises while Hatsukoi slept. He holds onto her wrist as shes about to push him away, pulling her close kissing her passionately
"I'll come back to you, both of you. I promise" he whispers against her lips, she nods, his kiss causing her to forget what she was upset over.
He kisses her gently, holding her closer as he pushes her to walk backwards to her bedroom, closing the door with a small click of the door knob. She feverishly tugs at his shirt and pants, he holds onto her hands slightly shaking his head, leaning down to continue to kiss her gently as she sits on the bed, then moving to the middle as he kneels in front of her.
He holds her chin between his thumb and index finger looking into her eyes, her eyes like liquid honey staring back into his white silver almost lavender ones. She leans back into the bed as if trying to get away from how he was looking at her, feeling he was searching her eyes for something he needed.
She nods as he holds his hand to the back of her dress, he unzips her dress slowly, while unhooking her bra at the same time, slowly pulling her dress down her body, over her hips and legs, along with her panties and dropping them to the floor. He leans over her, moving his arms behind her upper back holding her closer to him as he leaves soft kisses along her neck down to her breasts. She gently tugs at his shirt, he straightens up throwing his shirt to the floor along with his pants, returning to kissing her along her body.
She breathes in deep knowing what he was doing with how he looked at her but willingly giving into his slow loving touch. The foreign feeling of being completely aware of the other person new to her, the warm flicker of wanting him in the pit of her stomach. She runs her hands through is hair and along his shoulders, his muscles constrict and relax with every movement under her fingers, his hot breath against her skin as he makes his way down, taking in how her breathing would hitch kissing her on the most sensitive areas. A small moan of pleasure escaping her lips as he kisses her right hip then gently biting her.
He comes back up to meet her lips, she wraps her legs around him as he slowly enters her, she kisses him firmly as he thrusts slow and deep into her. She moans his name into their kiss, she buries her mouth against his neck, her hands on his back, trying to keep him as close as possible, being brought to a slow peak.
He breathes her name in her ear as she tightens around him and thrusts harder into her, she feels his body tensing up as she softly moans his name, reaching her climax as he releases into her, holding her just as close, kissing her neck before lifting his head to see her face. She leans her head up to meet his lips, staying in their position as they share a gentle kiss, she sighs against his mouth
"I… don't leave" she rests her head against rhe bed, looking over his features, small beads of sweat along his forehead, his eye soften at her words, both seeming to study the others face
"I won't.." he whispers back, closing his eyes as he kisses her again, and resting his head just underneath her chin.
She stares at the ceiling of her room, surprised at how willing she was to give in to him making love to her, it wasn't how it was on her birthday party or how when she let Gaara make love to her, this time it was different, no pain in her heart, no panic or hesitation, it felt… perfect
….
Neji stares at the stairs leading up to Naruto's office, already having received a scowl/lecture from Asuma about taking off with Shae and how she could've explained why she had to leave instead of disappearing with her. His lecture from Asuma wasn't as bad as he expected, probably because of Hatsukoi and knowing how Shae felt about her and how Neji felt about Shae, but what Asuma didn't know was he also did it for Hatsukoi, maybe his affection for her didn't show as much as Shae's did but he still felt it.
He knocks on the door, he hears Naruto on the other side, he walks in, Naruto immediacy crossing his arms as Neji closes the door
"You asked me to come back?" He says standing in front of Naruto's desk
"Yeah, Anbu mission, go pack… " Naruto says mildly annoyed
"I need to ask for a favor" Neji says as he takes the scroll from Naruto's hand
"After you helped Shae escape?! I know it was only to Suna but you got a lot of nerve Neji. I may be your friend but I'm still Hokage and you disobeyed my orders for a second time, I should punish you instead of asking you to help us and have you stay here in the village permanently!" Naruto nearly yells at him
"That's what I was going to ask, to stay here in the village after we catch whoever is after Shae. I want to take the exam to teach at the academy" he says calmly
"Why? Because of Hatsukoi and Shae?" Naruto says calming down slightly
"Yes, it would be better for us rather than leaving for months and only being home for two weeks at most."
"Neji, did you even think about this?" Naruto sighs rubbing his neck
"Of course I did, I-"
"No, Neji, did you think about what you'll be doing? Teaching at the academy is fine but, you and Shae are still dating, and she's a mom now."
"I know, I was there and I know what I'm doing" Neji's tone having an annoyed esge to it
"Do you? Raising a kid is hard, and you can't just walk away from that, she's going to grow up thinking you're her dad cause you're always with Shae. She's gonna cry, poop, destroy the whole house and expect you to tuck her in at night, and to tell her you love her when she's ruined something expensive. Shae wants all of that with how she jumps when Hatsukoi is in danger, You and Shae will be at each other's throats when it comes to Hatsukoi or someone forgets to pick up the milk or dinner, are you sure, you want that too?' Naruto finishes finally calmed down
"Yes, I've thought about it, which is why I'm asking to take the teachers exam.I can't exactly be there for them if I'm always gone on these missions" Neji narrowing his eyes at Naruto as he sighs
"I'll see when the exam is and let you know, Neji you need to keep in mind your relationship isn't exactly stable, you may want to be there but does she want you too?..." Naruto asks, watching as Neji turns and leaves his office not answering his question, already annoyed at how Naruto was questioning his idea to stay in the village to be with them, feelng it was the right move, especially now that Shae was asking him to stay with her.
….
"Hm?" she looks up to see Mats tapping her on the shoulder
"I was asking if you were hungry? I made us dinner" she says looking down at Shae's hands holding a small white bunny with long black ears
"Yeah, thanks" she says setting down the bunny next to Hatsukoi's toys and following Matsuri to the kitchen
"Where did you get that?" Matsuri asks
"In the mail, Neji sent it to me for Hatsukoi" she half smiles as she sits down
"Oh, that's nice of him" she smiles handing her a cup of tea
"It was, she calls it 'Ne ne'" Shae laughs sipping her tea
"Oh why?"
"For Neji, at least that's what I think she calls it that bunny for, it kind of looks like him" she smiles turning her head to look at the bunny from the kitchen
"I see… He's the reason you left the Kazekage isn't it?" she asks softly
"I guess, in a way, yes.." she looks up at Matsuri who nods
"When you left, the Kazekage kept on with his duties like nothing happened almost as if you didn't leave that night… The Kazekage is more at ease when you are here, at least that's what I've noticed"
"Mats, no, that's not why I'm here. I'm only here for Hatsukoi and then back to Konoha after everythings legit" she says shaking her head slightly
"Maybe you can give it another try?" she asks staring at her dinner
"I can't"
"Please, you have my blessing to pursue a relationship with the Kazekage… even if it is only physical" she whispers
"I'm not going too"
"Why?"
"He hurt me by keeping something from me and it made me question everything we had…"
"He's the Kazekage of course he's going to have to keep secrets, and he cares for you"
"and I wish he didn't because it would make everything so much easier. Why are you asking me to be with him. I know how you feel about him shouldn't this be making you feel sick to even try to ask, you should be happy I'm not willing to try again"
"It used too, but I care about the Kazekage and he cares about you, only you… To make him happy I thought I could convince you…" she says struggling to get out her argument
"Mats.." Shae gently places her hand on top of Matsuris, she looks up to see her shaking her head
"Alright" Matsuri says with a small sigh "But keep in mind, he would be able to take care of you and Hatsukoi, and she would always be protected no matter what.."
"Okay" she says softly letting go of her hand
After dinner and lighter conversation, Matsuri leaves for the night, Shae picks up the bunny walking to Hatsukoi's room, her small star night light filling the room with star shaped shadows. Shae places 'Ne Ne' under Hatsukoi's arm then covering her with her blanket. She sits down in a blue over sized reading chair in the corner, watching her sleep, the bunny seeming to stare back at her, thinking of Hatsukois future, Neji, herself as she looks around the nursery filled with clothes, toy's and baby furniture Gaara had set up in a matter of hours, making sure they were comfortable, feeling tears begin to sting her eyes the longer Hatsukoi held onto 'Ne Ne' in her sleep.
