A/N - I am soooo sorry for all this time without updating, but I was terribly busy. I mean, really busy. Like, my first official book is out there already (yay! :D )and then there was an exam at university that did turn out really bad and then heavy rotations at the hospital. But now things are slowly returning to normalcy and so… time to write finally emerged! :D

Well, I can't express the gratitude I feel with all your reviews and all – I know, it's been like a month since I last updated – but I have to tell you I am enjoying immensely writing these last chapters (2 or 3 to go and the story's almost done!) and well, let me tell you the sequel it's going to be a blast of a "to be continued".

Okay, enough blabbering, please enjoy this new chapter. It's all Seph's POV (which I love to write) and well, I'll be waiting for the reviews.

It brings up many questions, I know – but most of those will only be answered in the sequel.

Anyway, enjoy your readings! :D


I was listening to this music while I was writing the chapter and it sounded so damn adequate I couldn't resist sharing it with you.

"She visits me, when I am weak, when I have nowhere to hide. She always knows when I have someone and then she comes, to torture me.

She visits me, when I am asleep, when I have nowhere to run. She always knows when I have no one, and suddenly she's there to tempt me.

She visits me.

She visits me, from the corners of the past.

She won't let go of my spirit yet

She comes, she comes to haunt me.

She comes… to visit me."

Vast – She visits me.


Chapter 39. Of mist and vivid words.


Sephiroth's POV.


The whole fucking day I was having this strange feeling inside me. It had awoken with me, as if it was part of me. It walked with me, ate with me, accompanied me all the seconds of the day, like a… parasite.

That sensation worried me, not only because it felt terribly oppressing, but mainly because I… knew it was Her. Her influence, like a freaking turn on button, activating her alien cells inside me like a switch.

It was 6 a.m. when my eyes popped open. Everything was so silent, so absent of presences but me and… the woman that laid next to me… but there was something other there. I knew it, I felt it, that strange, oppressing silence giving away her void weight.

The whole day that void hunted me. I went out and in and the feeling didn't fade. I flew… and yet it remained.

And, silently, I wondered… when would I start to listen to Her again, when would that unavoidable moment come… once again. Worse, I had the feeling She was going to surprise me like She did the last time, freaking me out to the point of committing murders and…

Oh, man. What the hell. I didn't want to lose it again. I wanted to be at peace, live my life… with her, Sora. With the woman that my own mother – apparently - chose to save me. Because she had grown on me and I realized I wasn't able to live without her.

I realized I cared for her. I wanted her, in all ways. Her body, her smile, that childish satisfaction pouring out of her when our stares met. And her touch. Her sweet, slightly trembling touch. I wondered, until how was she going to fear me, feeling afflicted.

Sighing heavily, while I sat in a nearby rocky formation far from home, very far from civilization, I watched the sunset.

And, for the first time in my life, I feared the upcoming night.

A soft hand touched my arm, breaking the void inside my head. My eyes met hers quickly, only to find there a terrible amount of worry and emotional withdrawal.

"Are you okay?" She said, her voice failing, as her eyes shone. It gave me the impression she was about to cry, but I couldn't exactly tell. And I was in no condition of shoving her fears away now. On the contrary.

I nodded in response, incapable of speaking. And she realized I was far from okay. My lack of words gave in the lies, the powerlessness of dealing with a superior entity influencing my… our life, an influence that acted the way it wanted. And no one could ever know the why's and the how's. Not even me, the successful progeny. All I could do was to guess. At least, try to.

And this was Jenova. Moody. Greedy.

And she ached for power.

And I knew that no one – absolutely no one – could stand against her.

And amazingly, in the middle of such discomforting sensations, I eventually fell asleep.

"My son."

Her melodic tone woke me up before the sentence was done. Reflexively, I breathed in deeply, as if I had been deprived of air for a century. My heartbeat rose instantly and I sat, my acute vision scrutinizing the darkness. The silence was oppressive, as thick air, making my breathing irregular. I had this strange sensation of anger… and unavoidability, at the same time. I knew she was there. I knew she had called for me.

However, deep down inside me, not knowing her intentions slowly killed me. Each second of this thorny silence stole vital force from me.

I blinked, several times, expectant.

"Come."

Her tone. It sounded like an invitation and, at the same time, an order. She was ordering me. and before I knew it, I stood, facing the window door of the bedroom, not remembering getting up from the bed and walking towards that place. It was like I had materialized in that place, just like that.

Just like that, she takes over me and my will, compelling me to do what she wants…, my mind reasoned.

However I didn't have the time to feel despaired over it, because her voice sounded once again.

"Outside, my dear."

In a blink of an eye, I was outside, with no clothes on, except for the boxer-shorts I wore. I didn't feel the cold, I didn't feel the small ice particles on the wooden porch floor hurting my feet, I didn't feel a thing.

I only felt her.

And, before I knew it, She became visible to me.

As I processed her misty image, I felt my leg muscles weaken. My mouth half-opened, my chin pending in the process. The soft wind blew around us, making my hair dance… for moments, just like hers, so volatile and… alien. So… unhuman.

My God, do I look like her…, my mind affirmed, and asked at the same time.

"Of course you do look like me, my son." She answered me, before I had time to react. "I am dominant on you. All over you. Your body. Your mind. Your will."

Well, that wasn't good news. But it explained a lot of things. It explained all my actions, it explained… why I had died after decapitating her and trying to take her head with me to the Promised Land. To that place she had showed me once, a place that conquered my heart and soul, as I surrendered to her will without even resisting.

"Don't be so dramatic." She said. "You released yourself the day I talked to you, my son. Admit it, you experienced an amazing sensation of freedom when you ravished that village."

Guilt invaded me instantaneously, as I remembered very vividly what I had done back then.

"You must not refrain your instincts or who you are." She declared. "Your ability to war is undeniably excellent. A warrior must not hide like this."

"I like it here." I whispered, reflexively.

"What you do like is being her with her, pretending nothing else exists."

Her words were cold, and I felt guilty all over again, like a child caught doing something wrong. I had the intention of answering back to her, but she didn't let me.

"It's time." She declared, not allowing me to speak. "She's prepared." She added immediately, as if she was stating something extremely obvious.

What?

My complexion must have mirrored the astonishment I felt.

"You heard me."

Yeah, I had heard it all right but there was no way I understood what on Earth was she talking about. All I could remember was Sora confessing me about that weird dream, about her having found me, nursing me and then me and her, in this place, falling for each other day after day.

"What… she?"

Her silence confirmed my doubts. Her unreal stare felt like stone over mine.

"Why did you-"

She interrupted me before the words were out.

"I revived you because you were worthy of another opportunity. As to why her, you'll soon find out. Or not."

Her last declaration scared me, because she was bluntly smirking when she ended the sentence. And that, strangely, made me feel very uncomfortable.

"She's alive, isn't she? So why worry that much?"

My eyes opened wide, as I processed the offensive words she was saying. Talking about Sora that way made her look like a guinea pig for my mother to play on her sick jokes. Just like that one that made her bleed immensely.

"How possessive." She declared, amused. "That's my boy." She added then, with a wicked tone.

And I didn't like it one bit.

"I'm not your boy anymore." I murmured, my words coming out revolted and hostile.

"I know you're not. But it's rather amusing to see how my influence on you results so… disturbing."

What a sick comment was just that?

"Leave me alone." I roared, not realizing how despaired I felt. "Get out of my head. And don't you dare to touch her."

I didn't know what to expect from my alien mother. I didn't know if she would smash my sanity with a twist of fingers, if she would get me killed me again like before, or if she would eventually take away from me the most important person I had close to me right now. I didn't know, and I was afraid of finding out. Mainly, because I was afraid of losing my mind again. Or of going insane, of killing her… unavertedly.

"Our time here is done, my son."

Before I could say or think something, she vanished.

Like a misty nightmare, whose borders weren't defined with the real world, whose content belonged to a thin place in-between both worlds. In between reality and… her place.

She, a being capable of distorting time and space, of manipulating everything surrounding us… warned me. And made me realize how powerless I was… how powerless I felt when Jenova was concerned.

I remained there, staring at nothingness, for a while.

"She's prepared", She had said. Jenova's words filled my mind, imbibing every neuron I had. Paralyzed I remained, unable to speak, walk, move… breathe?

That female shaped mist, so foggy and real at the same time, remained apart from me for months, punishing me with silence, driving me mad with questioning, making me doubt of my own sanity.

I had wished for a moment like this too many times to remember. I wished for answers, for questions, for explanations.

There were none. Only that vacant stare, coming from something ethereal, materialized in that form I used to know and recognize as my "mother", the one that filled my essence, the one that made every cell of my body tingle… with recognition.

Recognition of sameness. Recognition of belonging… at least, part of me, to her. Sharing her essence… thus, sharing her power.

However, now, I felt very human – it was that kind of feeling that crippled my will, that lowered me to an inferior ranking. I felt exposed, fragile, compared to her. And I was flesh and bone. She was only mist… but so, so much power emanated from her… my Mother. The one providing me the ability of doing the unthinkable, the one that had given me the chance to rise, to stand at her level, because all she was, somehow, flowed inside me, burning and itching every cell I had inside me.

My unfortunate incapability of control didn't seem to bother her – although, it did bother me. I was Her son, I should be capable of getting over those low feelings of… surprise. I should have questioned her more, her absence, her silence, her ridiculous apparition to the human… instead of appearing to me. The why's and the how's of such happenings remained unanswered.

There were no answers. More riddles came, instead.

She is prepared, she had said. She. Sora. Prepared to what? To live? To die? Prepared to what, after all?

My mind raced in thoughts at the speed of light.

"Mother…" I whispered, knowing my words would be lost in the breeze. My alien mother wouldn't hear me. Her presence was faded now. Completely muted.

Sooner than I expected, faster than I could ever imagined, She had vanished, leaving me with inconspicuous presages burning inside my mind, as if Her words held the most important meaning… significance… and a very important information to have in consideration.

What is the point of all this?, my mind asked.

I felt all strength abandon me. The adrenaline running in my veins was now fading and all I could hear was the sound of my sword hitting the wooden ground of the porch.

It was then I realized I had been with my sword tightly grasped in my left hand for the whole time.

And it was then I realized someone had awakened as well. For as long, I didn't know.

I heard her moving, removing the sheets and the blankets, getting up from the bed, staring frightful at the window and finally, her stare finding me. I could hear her feeble footsteps carefully walking towards me, without a clue, without knowing what to say, what to do, which words to use.

In fact, there were none: no words could take me from me state I was in – a total and utter shock.

"S-Sephiroth…" She asked, for me, apprehensive.

I didn't stare back, I didn't answer. In there I stood, facing the dark, freezing, my automatic breathing creating rhythmic and temporary vapors. My mind was completely deprived of any rational thinking. All I could think, all I could hear, all I could see was Her, my Mother, mouthing words I didn't understand.

It was insane.

Suddenly, I felt something – her hand, on mine.

A subtle, trembling touch, exerting a small pressure for me to move. Move, from where I stood. Move, from my trance. Move, because it was freezing.

Without even considering what I was doing, I let her guide me inside the bedroom. Once in there, I let myself rest against the nearest wall, while she closed the window. Warmth invaded slowly the bedroom, a comfortable feeling, contrasting with the cold outside. My eyes stared at nothingness once more, somewhere at the floor level.

It was her voice that startled me.

"She appeared to you."

She wasn't asking, she was affirming it.

All I could think back was "How do you know that?" but I didn't have the strength to say it. So, she knew – she knew, exactly what had happened. Well, maybe that was because my mother appeared to her once. And maybe that dream of her hadn't been only a dream. Now, I was certain it hadn't been – just a simple dream.

I didn't answer her though. Still I remained, concluding that I didn't need to answer her for her to know the truth.

"What did She say to you?"

Now, this was a hard question, with no viable answer ahead. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to manage a way out of it. For the first time, I felt so lost. Lost of hope, lost of … will.

Then, the unthinkable happened for the second time that night.

Her face, her fair, innocent face and trembling body approached mine with excessive haste. I felt her form collide with mine and her arms rest around me, her face on my chest… warming my frozen heart. Surely, she would hear it, beating, for the first time in so many years, completely havoc.

"It's okay… it doesn't matter." She said, her warm breath caressing the skin on my thorax. "It doesn't matter what She said… I'm here with you, and I'm not leaving."

While I processed her words, I lowered my head and I let my face rest on her head. She smelled of fruits and sun.

And intense feeling of sorrow invaded me. Sadness, fragility, fear, and for moments, I imagined how she would feel, for so many times, fearful and lost with me and my attitudes.

Reflexively, my arms surrounded her, calmly, smoothly, and I allowed myself to close my eyes for some time, sensing how my throat felt oppressed, how my complexion would give my weakness away if she looked into my eyes.

"She's prepared", my Mother's words echoed in my mind, again.

Prepared.

Prepared for what?

For me..., my mind answered right away, not a second had passed.

Slowly, as we remained embraced, silent and warm, all those feelings of despair and misunderstanding started to fade away… to be replaced with gratitude… longing… pure desire.

My breathing was now audible, even to myself. I wanted her. I wanted her so bad that… if I didn't do something, I had the feeling my body would explode.

Quickly than she was expecting, my mouth found hers. I grabbed her face and directed her mouth towards mine, my lips burning for the touch of hers, her sweet, tasty mouth.

Her arms and hands met my neck and face, as she obliged to my demanding ministrations. Remembering how amazingly she felt and tasted was a blessing. And I missed her immensely – I missed how tender she was, how soft her skin felt touching mine…

"I want you…" I admitted, while our mouths separated for moment, both of us panting shamelessly. With hazy eyes and a breathless voice, she stared back at me, holding nothing back.

"Me too…" She said. "Me too. For a while now."

I smiled faintly, considering her words. Yes, I did want her too, for a while now. And after that moment, we knew no words were needed.

Before I knew it, we were back on the bed, kissing, limbs entangled and hands grasping clothing and flesh. My boxer-shorts were the first piece flying over me. Then, my mouth never leaving hers, I removed her pajamas, her underwear, her feeble hands assisting me on the process.

Promptly, we were bare naked laying next to each other, wrapped up like we were part of each other's anatomy. I took my time searching for her eyes, trying to analyze her expression.

And no words were needed to say what I felt for her.

Time stopped right there and I abandoned myself to the need my body asked for.

And how wonderful it felt to have her in my arms again.

How wonderful it felt, that sensation of deliverance… a sensation I was feeling for the first time in my life. With her.

Sora.


A/N – Okay, I know, it's cruel to cut it here but… don't worry. Next chapter I'll compensate you guys!

You know what to do! R&R! You opinion is most needed! :D And I love having feedback from you!