52. Old
FOLLOW UP TO DRABBLE 45, "TWO GUNS"
Nick and Jeff made out for a while, still laying on Jeff's bed. But something Jeff had said was replaying in Nick's head over and over.
"I don't like guns."
It wasn't what he said so much as how he said it- filled with so much emotion. Like he was almost ashamed of it. And what would make him so scared of them that he wouldn't even use one to protect himself in a potentially life-threatening situation?
"Hey, Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
Nick swallowed before asking, "Is there a reason you don't like guns so much?"
Nick could hear Jeff stiffen at the question.
"I just…I just don't like them," Jeff answered hastily.
"Ok," Nick said, though it was apparently suspicious. He didn't want to pressure, Jeff, though, so he didn't push.
However, as they sat in silence for a few minutes, Nick suddenly felt wetness on his arm from where Jeff was leaning against it.
"Jeff? Jeff, honey, why are you crying?
"I'm not. I'm…I'm yawning."
But his voice gave him away. It was choked and quite, filled with emotion.
"Honey, I'm not that stupid. Please, tell me what's wrong."
"It's stupid," Jeff answered, turning his head away.
"Is it the whole gun thing? Cuz I'm so sorry I asked; I shouldn't have pried."
"It's such a stupid reason. It's honestly such an old excuse; I should be over it by now."
"Hey, it's ok. I'm sure whatever it is makes sense."
"Just…when I was little, probably twelve or thirteen, there was just this think…with my dad of course," Jeff said, quietly and hesitantly.
"What happened, honey?"
"He just…he took me hunting with him as a last attempt to turn me straight…and he confronted me about it when he was holding the gun. And I-I wouldn't tell him I wasn't gay…and he threatened to shoot me," Jeff choked out.
"Oh, Jeff," Nick mumbled, his heart breaking. That's not a stupid reason at all, baby. That's horrible, and I'm so sorry that happened. You have every right to hate guns, Jeff."
"I just…It's so old…and I just wanna get over it, ya' know."
"I don't know if you ever will, Jeff. That'd be classified as a "traumatic experience'," Nick said, trying to add a little bit of humor into the sad conversation. Jeff smiled, but only slightly.
"Hey, Jeff, don't cry. Yeah, maybe old things will come back to haunt you every now and then, but we can make new things. New things that will erase the old."
Jeff looked up at Nick, the tears slowing down.
"Thank you, Nicky," Jeff mumbled, settling back in Nick's arms again.
"I love you, Jeff."
"Love you too."
