Something felt wrong when they approached Yavin IV. It wasn't a Star Destroyer or laserfire or anything like that. No ships were hovering around the planet, but something felt so cold and dark. Poe said as much to Zeroes. "Do you feel that?"
"Feel what?"
Poe didn't answer, but his sense of dread grew as they descended through the atmosphere. He found his way home by heart, even though there was no longer a house to mark the spot. With some relief, Poe saw that the Falcon was left mostly untouched. A few TIEs had already landed in the open space surrounding it. He reached out with his senses, trying to call out to the voice that had called him here in the first place. Nothing. Where there had been light, there was now darkness.
Cautiously, Poe landed his TIE near the edge of the woods. Zeroes opened the hatch, and they exited the fighter.
"We made it," Zeroes breathed. He noticed the look on Poe's face. "Dameron? You okay?"
"I will be," Poe said. He started walking towards the Falcon, Zeroes close behind. Other troopers exited their fighters and greeted them, but Poe nodded off their salutes and greetings as though he were slipping through oil.
Something felt very, very wrong.
Poe pressed a switch on the Falcon's underbelly, and the ramp hissed open. Slowly, as if he were moving underwater, he stepped into the familiar ship. The halls were exactly as he had left them, scuff marks and scratches on the walls and floor. It didn't seem that anyone had come aboard the ship since he'd last left it.
"Hello?" Poe hadn't been expecting an answer, and he didn't get one. He stepped into the empty cockpit and ran his hand over the old freighter's controls. Looking around, he flopped himself down in the pilot's seat, where Han should have been sitting. Poe buried his face in his hands. First Han, then Jess, now Finn . . . he didn't even know if Luke and Rey were still alive.
Surely nothing in the universe can be that cruel.
Poe had never been much of a religious person. He hadn't had faith in much else besides himself and his friends. But now, deprived of his friends and family and his own confidence, he could understand the need to believe in a higher power. Some called it a god, others the Force, but it was all the same thing. People needed something to depend on when they couldn't depend on themselves.
"If there's anyone or anything out there that's listening," Poe whispered, "I could use some help."
He suddenly felt so exhausted. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept or eaten something. Poe sighed heavily and stood. The sun glimmered through translucent clouds onto the transparisteel. Outside, the trees stood tall and stoic, as if nothing had ever happened. There were a few scorch marks on the grass, but nothing else. The cockpit was turned away from the burnt frame of his house, so he couldn't really see the damage. Poe wondered who or what had put out the fire, or if it had gone out when it had nothing left to burn.
The bird returns.
On reflex, Poe looked up. He reached out with his mind, touching the feeble energy that emanated from the forest. I'm here.
The nest dies, yet the bird flies on.
Poe walked through the halls of the Falcon and back down the ramp. Glancing once at the small group of ex-troopers speaking to each other in hushed voices, he hurried into the forest. He found the way by heart, each root and stone as familiar to him as the skin on his hand.
I'm here.
Poe's heart sank when he reached the clearing. The tree had wilted, its branches sagging. The treehouse, with nothing to support it, lay in broken fragments around the cracked trunk. Patches of dead grass lay around the spots where the shriveled roots peeked above the ground. Brown leaves fell from the tree's branches, having lost the will to live. Tentatively, Poe touched the trunk and winced at the pure pain he felt.
My little bird.
Poe pressed his forehead to the wood, his eyes glistening. I'm here.
A branch passed over his back, almost in a human gesture. All life must end.
"No," Poe whispered aloud. "No more."
All life must end.
"It can't," he said brokenly. "I can't. I can't lose anything else."
"Then don't, cariƱo" said a new voice. Poe whirled around. He knew that voice, even though it had been over twenty years
A figure materialized among the brown leaves and dead branches, a petite woman with dark, curly hair in a messy knot and eyes that shone amber despite the blue-silver color of her spirit. She smiled when she saw Poe, who stared at her in disbelief.
"Mama?" Poe whispered. He hurried to his mother, and Shara Bey extended her arms to her son. Hesitantly, Poe touched her hand, to see if he could, to see if she was real. A golden glow radiated where their hands met. Poe caught his breath. His mother's hands were warm.
She touched his face. "Poe, my sweet boy. I've missed you."
"We both have." In another instant, a tall, lean figure materialized beside his mother and put his hand around her shoulders. Kes Dameron was clean shaven, no trace of the blood or grime that Poe had last seen on his father's face. Kes held Poe's hand. "Look how you've grown, hijo."
"Mama, Papa - " Poe couldn't hold it back anymore, all but collapsing in his parents' arms. They all sank down together into the soft, dying grass.
Shara's thumb moved over Poe's face, but she couldn't wipe his tears. Poe looked from his mother to his father, still only half-convinced that this was real. "How are you here? I thought only the Jedi could appear as Force spirits."
"We're here because you need us," Kes said softly.
"Papa . . ." Poe searched for the right words to say. "I don't know what to do. I've lost so much. I don't think I can fight anymore."
"Then don't," Shara said, not unkindly. "Don't fight, Poe. Stand back and let the battle happen without you. Could you take that?"
Poe shook his head. "I can't just stand by while other people are out there fighting. I just don't know that I can do much else. I can't lead them anymore."
"Leadership isn't about what goes on in here." Kes touched his temple. Knowing the rest of the saying, Poe finished the thought and tapped his chest. "It's about what goes on in here."
Kes nodded. "It's easier said than done, but it's easier done than ignored. You have heart, mi hijo. That's something that so many people lose in a war, but you haven't. It's only going to get harder from here, but you know what? No one ever really leaves, Poe. We haven't. Your friends haven't. We will always be with you."
"But when will I be with you?" Poe whispered.
Shara caressed his face gently and kissed his forehead. "All in due time, sweetheart. Don't look for the end any sooner than it needs to come."
"Mama . . . Papa . . . What do I need to do?"
"Do what you've always done," Kes said simply. "That will be enough."
"And if it's not?"
Shara took Poe in her arms as though he were a child, and Kes laid an arm around each of them. Poe's tears had stopped, but they hadn't dried yet. He could feel his parents fading back into the abstract world of the Force that they had come from. Their voices blended together in a final reassurance.
It will be.
