Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Leaving Naruto brought back yet more thoughts about Kakashi. In another life, he'd been Kakashi's student. In this one, he's still the only child of Kakashi's sensei. And he's only in an orphanage because of...Uchiha Obito.
And my anger roars to life again. There was no reason for Naruto to be orphaned. He ought to have grown up with friends, with family, with a Kaa-san who is scary and adores him, and a Tou-san who is a hero and his closest friend. He ought to be adored by his parents.
He ought to be loved by the village.
I had not considered what was really going on while living through the Kyubi Incident before. I'd been too caught up with staying alive, with worrying for Kiba's safety, I had not internalized that it was simultaneously the night Naruto was born and then orphaned. What sort of person could threaten their own sensei's child? Could fight their sensei with the intent to kill? Namikaze Minato had died by the claws of the Kyubi and the death reaper seal, but Obito had unleashed the Kyubi for the express purpose of killing the entire village, his Sensei and Sensei's wife included.
And I've just met their child, orphaned for no reason except one man's inability to let go of a dead girl. Nohara Rin.
To be honest, I'm overly frustrated with Uchiha Obito right now. The pain in so many people's lives is a direct effect of his actions. It is not Nohara Rin that I blame for Kakashi's lack of mental balance or Naruto's lack of parents. It's Uchiha Obito. Rin had died, but she had not asked for any of his currently insane actions. That and she's dead.
It's a little hard to be angry with the dead, especially the dead that no one ever spoke a bad word of and held in such high esteem. It's much easier to be angry with the masked man who'd hurt Sensei and Toku and Kakashi and Naruto. I want to hurt him.
And there is only one place that I'd ever find Uchiha Obito in Konoha.
It's been established by his actions in attacking Itachi that he listened to whatever I bothered to say to him at the memorial stone. It's been years since I've visited, but I still know the way, and I still bring strawberry hard candies, simply for tradition's sake. It's no good to deviate from the norm after all, even though it's been years since any of this happened.
I should still pretend to believe that he's a hero even though I want to claw his face off.
It's pleasant enough to smack him in the face, because if he has any emotion left in that dead heart of his, guilt would be one, and I want to make his life hell on earth. How much can I guilt you? How much can I tear you down to my level and rip you apart?
Someone else has to feel the frustration in my soul, the tears that sting my eyes, the pain in my chest that I know is not heartburn.
"Uchiha Obito-san." I say, and set the strawberry candies down in a floral pattern like I had many times, so many years ago. "I met a little boy who was about to get kicked out of an orphanage today." I sit down next to the stone, and tilt my head back to look at the blue sky. "He had blue eyes and sun blond hair. He's an orphan because of the Kyubi Incident." And you killed his parents. "I made sure that he didn't get kicked out...but still."
I sigh. "Can I tell you a secret, Obito-san?" I stare at his name on the stone, and will him to feel every ounce of pain he's extracted from others. "My team was attacked by a masked man with a sharingan." I scowl at his name. And you hurt the people that I love. "He hurt Sensei and Toku." I make a fist and show it to him. "When I meet him again, I'm going to rip his entrails out his throat for taking from me." For breaking Kakashi's mind. For hurting my people. For orphaning so many children who didn't deserve your shit.
A cool spring breeze ruffles the new grass sprouting in the clearing. This is not catharsis, it isn't even acceptance, I am just angry, and I want him to hurt. I don't even know if he's here, but talking about this makes me content. "Kakashi still mourns you, you know. Everyone that he loves is gone. He thinks the world of you. You're his best friend." Maybe Obito doesn't care about this, but really, it can't hurt that much. "It's a miracle that he's alive." I set my head against the cool stone, and feel the tears sting my eyes. "Please, if you're out there somewhere, protect him."
And I break, because I know exactly what it is that Kakashi dreams of. He said that he still feels like his hand is through her chest. He still thinks the world of you. He's still grieving, always grieving. I could not rely on anyone to protect Hatake Kakashi. The thought that Konoha's most famous prodigy needs protection is almost laughable when thought aloud. He doesn't need anyone to protect him. He's seen it all. What he needs is help. And I am ill equipped to help him. We're not exactly great at understanding each other. I remind him of people that he's lost. And he frustrates me enough that I ignore what he really needs.
I am not enough. Not for Cousin Gaku, not for Koma-senpai, not for Kakashi.
Why can't I be enough?
But my pity party's gone on long enough. I rise to go, and one last hard candy clatters to the ground from my lap. Lemon. Uchiha Obito doesn't like lemons. Kakashi said so.
I set the lemon candy among the strawberry ones. One small act of irritation. One small act of rebellion against the conception that he's a hero. One small act. It's more like the middle finger really.
I'm flipping him off.
I go back to the Archives to visit Suzaku-san. If I resolve to solve my problems, then I would have to know about Shimura Danzo. It's not enough to know that he's taking children, that he forced Koma-senpai to blind himself, that he's taken my cousin and brainwashed him. The Hokage wouldn't believe me if I simply came up to him and told him so.
To dispose of Danzo, I have to find concrete proof of his wrongdoing, and that is only possible if I know him. If I know how he thinks, how he'd act, if I could predict his every action, only then can I defeat him. And for that I need information. Danzo's entrenched in the infrastructure of Konoha. He has the ear of the Hokage. And that is ultimately what makes him dangerous: his bond with the Sandaime. The Hokage cannot see what is broken, because once upon a time they were friends who shared the same goals. To change his mind, I have to find undeniable proof of Danzo's wrongdoings. I have to find evidence.
The best place for information in Konoha is the Archives. "Suzaku-san?" I step into the musty chamber, and marvel over the sheer number of scrolls that are kept here. "Can I ask you a question?"
Suzaku-san blows a cloud of smoke towards me. "Isn't that what I'm here for? To answer your questions?" He hadn't been asleep this time, but considering how much ash is in the ashtray, I feel a twinge of concern. That really is not healthy for you, Suzaku-san. Even so, it is not my place to advise him on his life choices.
I giggle. "Surely you do other things too." I pull over a stool so I can prop my elbows up on his desk. "You have a life beyond answering my questions and smoking cigars I'm sure."
He stubs the cigar out on the ashtray and smiles, slowly, lazily, and so much like Sensei used to that it almost hurts to look at. "Yeah. You could say that I guess." He flips himself upright. "You here to look for something, gaki?"
"Elder Shimura?" I don't know how to explain what I want though. I want information that would take him down. Certainly that would go over well.
"You know, if you want Elder Shimura, the archives isn't the best place to find him, yeah?" Suzaku-san drawls rather calmly, but there's amusement dancing in his dark eyes. Oh, you rascal. You know that's not what I meant.
"I want information about Elder Shimura." I frown, because at least then I can prove that I'm serious about the whole thing. Not that Suzaku-san's really known me not serious before.
He leans back in his chair, his left ankle neatly crossed over his right, and exhales another cloud of smoke. "Why would you want something like that?"
"I'm here to look up information about Elder Shimura because he's my hero, Suzaku-san. Obviously." His lack of cooperation makes me snarky. The implications of his questions make me somewhat nervous. What does he think I want with that? He has Sensei's recommendation, so nothing dangerous could be assumed about him, but still. How far does his loyalty to Sensei go?
The legs of his wooden chair comes down on the stone floor with a harsh click. "You know," Suzaku-san begins, his hands folded over his chest, and his cigar burning in the ashtray. "You sound more like my cousin by the day." Sensei's concerned about Danzo? Why? "And I don't want you doing something as dangerous as what he's doing." Suzaku-san stands up, and sets a hand on my shoulder. "Whatever grudges or fears you have about Elder Shimura, you let my capable cousin take care of it, yeah?"
"I can't let Sensei do it." I squeeze my eyes shut, because even thinking about spilling Sensei's secrets is just wrong on so many personal levels. I don't think that Suzaku-san knows that there's something wrong with Sensei's health right now. I can't tell him if he doesn't know. I take a deep breath. "I'm going to look for files, Suzaku-san. If you'd like to help me, you could. If not, I'll just look at the files I have the clearance for."
Suzaku-san groans. "The best way to learn about people is to get to know them." That's true. And you're warning me about digging around in the Archives for information too. Is there someone watching? "If you want to know Elder Shimura, go talk to him." Oh. Well that's a new idea.
I've been so concerned about bringing Danzo down that I've let it color my thinking. Sure, I could look up his mission record; I could read the list of his accomplishments, but that tells me nothing about him as a person. It would tell me how he thinks, how he acts, and his personal habits. He's no careless man, but all men have weaknesses. I won't be able to piece together his weakness from anything I could find in the Archives. They don't leave that sort of thing lying around in the chunin clearance level. "How would I be able to talk to Elder Shimura though?"
Suzaku-san shrugs. "You're a clan heiress aren't you? And plenty smart too, it shouldn't be too hard for you to come up with a plan."
I tilt my head back to stare at the shelves stretching from ceiling to floor, and back again. "Elder Shimura..." I muse. "Cares about protecting Konoha from outside interests." At least, that's what I remember of how he justified his actions.
"How funny." Suzaku-san drawls while staring at the opposite patch of wall. "You seem to share some similar goals with your hero."
Oh. Oh. Those nobles on the civilian council would count as outside influence in Konoha. They're serving larger noble clan interests in Kakunodate. That is not Konoha. I can work with this. I really can. "Thank you so much for your help, Suzaku-san!" In a moment of pure joy, I throw my arms around him and kiss him on the cheek. "You're wonderful."
He laughs, a little awkwardly. "Glad to be of some help, gaki." And then I clatter away.
I am suddenly greeted by Sasuke and Kiba as soon as I exit the Archives. "I told you Neechan was in there!" Kiba sticks his tongue out at Sasuke. "See Otouto? I know what I'm doing!"
Kiba tracks better than I do at his age. I suspect it has something to do with how my rebirth affected things. Even though I am an Inuzuka, our talents run on instinct. I have different instincts when something is supposed to be occurring. It's not my first choice to just use my nose. Kiba, for all that he is unfocused, has probably more potential to be a tracking genius than I will ever be. If he has more discipline, he could do great things.
I ruffle Kiba's hair. "So, what were you looking for me for?"
He beams, and he and Sasuke both take one of my hands, and pulls me down the street.
"We're going to go see a movie!" Sasuke bounces forwards. "With you and Kiba-nii," Here he shoots Kiba a rather poisonous glare and refuses to add -sama. "And Niisan and Shisui-nii."
"A movie?" Shinobi didn't really go to watch movies as a general rule. There's too much potential for violence, or flash effects or just something that triggers an emotional breakdown or violent responses. We couldn't watch action-blood and gore problems-horror-same problems as action, that and civilian horror just isn't horrifying-or fantasy-because chakra is legitimately a plot device in fantasy, and civilians have no idea how chakra actually works.
That leaves...comedy...romance...and porn. Oh, that's why Kakashi doesn't read literature. It's absolutely stupid to do that if literature gives you flashbacks. And Kakashi has a lot of potential triggers, but he probably doesn't have any to do with porn. As it stands, I'm a little concerned about what Kiba wants to watch in a movie theater.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Kiba points towards a new building on the block. "There's a movie place that opened, and a new movie." He turns to me, with his big, big eyes. "Itachi-nii and Shisui-nii are in there saving seats." Well, if Ita-kun and Shisui approve, it can hardly be something that cringe worthy.
"Well." I smile down at the two of them. "Lead the way to the movie."
Shisui wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me towards the center of the movie theater towards an empty row of seats as soon as I step in. "Ack!" His gesture is surprising, and not entirely planned.
"Come on, Hana-chan!" He laughs next to my ear. "Itachi's waiting."
"Stop hugging Neechan." Sasuke grouses, and Kiba agrees wordlessly by hugging my other side even more. "You're not supposed to hug Neechan."
Shisui blinks. "Why can't I?"
Are we really having a debate regarding hugging rights? What is my life? "Alright you three." I make sure to disentangle myself from Shisui lightly. "No one is hugging me now, so everyone is equal right?" We're making our way down the aisle of the movie theater, and the other patrons are whispering among themselves. I get the feeling that ninja aren't often seen in movie theaters so they're making a big deal out of it even though we're just rather...normal members of Konoha's forces.
I'm suddenly glomped by three pairs of arms. "NO!" The three of them chorus while clinging on to me. "That's not fair at all!"
I wriggle an arm out of their stranglehold and reach towards Itachi. "Ita-kun!" I mock gasp. "Help! I'm being attacked."
Itachi shakes his head at the four of us. "Remove yourselves from Hana." He pats the seat beside him. "Hana's sitting next to me, since I thought we could watch a movie together and the rest of you are tagalongs"
We sit ourselves down in a rather ungainly row, and wait for the curtains to go up, and the movie to begin.
"Wow." Kiba murmurs with stars in his eyes as we exit the movie theater. "I want to rescue a princess!" As it turns out, this was the premiere of the first Princess Gale movie.
It's not...bad. It's just that, well, it's cheesy. And it has no idea how chakra works, pretty much like every other civilian drama. But it isn't bad, not for a civilian drama. Shinobi generally preferred...different forms of entertainment. The Kabuki theater district is still popular. The training grounds are used and rearranged fairly often. Older shinobi frequented bars, developed weird hobbies...and we live.
"I'm not sure princesses are so easy to find, Kiba-chan." He'll forget all about saving princesses by tomorrow.
He pouts. "I will so save a princess!"
I smile. "I'm sure you will someday." Hinata counts as a princess, and I'm sure that someday he'd have to save her on a mission. "Just make sure if the princess saves you, that you thank her." The hero doesn't always save the princess. Sometimes the princess saves the hero. Remember that, Otouto.
He considers it. "Then thank you, Neechan."
I blink at him. "What did I do?"
He takes my hand and we walk down the street after Sasuke, Itachi and Shisui. "You're a princess too." And he turns to me with a wide beaming smile. "And you've saved me, lots and lots."
I laugh. "I'm a clan heiress, but I'm not a princess." Our clan isn't a noble one, after all, despite the fact that we call our pack mother a queen in her own right.
"They call Neechan, Hana-hime." Kiba bounces his way down the street on our way back home. "That means that Neechan's a princess."
The next day I go back to work. As I walk through the front lobby towards Chichi's office, Kagen-san stops me with a rather alarmed look. "Hana-chan, don't go in there right now."
I turn towards him. "Why? Is there something going on?"
He leans towards me and cups his hands around his mouth to whisper in my ear. "Fugaku-sama has been here all night signing papers. I don't think your chances of survival are very high if anyone goes in there without coffee." Kagen-san pats me on the shoulder. "That and it's just a bad day today here down at the station all around."
"Well, I'll just bring some." Coffee is not the most healthy of substances, and in the time I've spent with Chichi during all of our-battles against the greatest enemy, I mean-paper work filing sessions, I've noticed that he has a tendency to drink far too much of it. I'm loathed to actually bring him more if he's been up all night, but still, if that's what he wants right now, it's best to make sure that no one dies.
"That's a problem though, Hana-chan." Kagen-san sighs. "There's no coffee anywhere in the station. We ran out."
I turn around and head towards the door. "There's a coffee shop down the street. I'll go get some."
I don't know how Chichi actually likes his coffee, but considering his personality, I assume he doesn't like sugar. I doubt he'd like anything particularly sweet. He's never eaten anything even remotely resembling dessert in front of me.
I suppose he wants his coffee black then. The exact opposite of his soul. The thought makes me giggle as I stand outside his door.
"You're late." And it's true that Chichi sounds cross, but it's not an object that's insurmountable.
"I brought you coffee." I push open the door and offer him the cup. "I heard we ran out this-" I take a moment to actually look at Chichi after I step through the door, and my words die on my lips.
He looks terrible. It isn't so much that he looks tired, or that he looks cross and angry, one or the other is if not perfectly normal, then at least in the realm of possibility. Right now though, it just looks like he's emotionally wrecked.
There's a sadness in the air that I have never felt in his vicinity before. "Is everything alright?"
Chichi grimaces. "I thought the work would help." He turns his face away to contemplate the morning sun falling onto his papers. Is the sky falling? Why is he so different this morning? "It didn't." He whispers and holds something out to me.
I step forward and take it. It's the small photograph on his desk that I've never been able to see clearly out of its frame at last. Wild hair. Matching wild smiles.
These proud red fangs.
Three teenagers in a training field, their arms over each other's shoulders. I flip it over. There are three names across the bottom, written in Chichi's flowing calligraphy. Inuzuka Kouga. Inuzuka Kosshi. Uchiha Fugaku.
Chichi knew Kosshi-baasan and Kouga-jisan? I look back up at Chichi, at the haunted, hunted look in his eyes. There is a grief that runs years deep, and for a long long moment I have no idea what to say. I have no idea what he wants me to say, because clearly he expects me to say something. "Why today?" I ask at last. Why the seventh of May, of all days? Why not some other day? It is not the anniversaries of their deaths, and I don't know of any important dates in the month of May. I never knew that Chichi had been friends with such close relatives of mine.
But then, it is like him not to mention it, especially as by the time I showed up in his life, both of them were long dead. Kaa-san had said...that Kosshi-baasan and Chichi were on the same genin team.
I didn't know that they were close.
Chichi gestures listlessly to the chair in front of me. "I should tell you a story." And it is just another revelation. That Chichi would volunteer to tell me, or anyone else really, a story about something that's clearly long past. Kouga-jisan died during the Third War. Kosshi-baasan died during the Kyubi Incident. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then he begins. "It's their twentieth wedding anniversary today."
A.N. And in this chapter, we have...Uchihas everywhere and a conversation with Nara Suzaku. That and Fugaku finally informing Hana about his prior interactions with Inuzukas.
This week has been really rough in terms of school work, which is bleh. But hey, it's the weekend now, so more writing will get done!
Thank you to worldtravellingfly (Yes, Kakashi's ninken are adorable.), EverBear01 (I'm glad that it does.), Kenshin135, Sazaleli, Yuki Suou (All will be explained. Just not this chapter.), Kitca (Yeah, Hana's decided she needs to do this by herself.), 33 (We will indeed get a follow up on civilian politics.), LittleMissSugarLess, lalalala (Oh yes. There are still things about Kakashi that Hana doesn't understand.), AnimeFreak71777 (:P), n1ghtdr34m3r (Kiba and Sasuke...have already been introduced to Naruto. There are to be scenes about their reintroduction.), Sis (So glad you're reviewing again!), Telepath98 (Welcome to Bloodless! And don't worry about it, Bloodless has only been around since August. Not very long.), libraryrockerr (Yes. The ninken are scheming, but they're not very good at hiding it.), Love Stories00 (Welcome to Bloodless, I'm so glad you like it.), and NightsBlackRose13 for reviewing!
And for everyone who favorited and followed.
You guys are the best.
~Tavina.
