Zack patrolled the outskirts of Nibelheim, nursing one hell of a hangover. At the little park, he stopped short catching sight of Cloud and Tifa. They were sitting on top of the monkey-bar dome. Cloud's helmet was off and their shoulders were touching. Zack turned straight back around and walked the way he came.
Meanwhile, Cloud sighed with a long gaze fixed on the fading horizon-line.
"…So that's it. I don't really know what I was thinking. I tried to be everything I told you I was. I tried to be everything you wanted. But I'm not strong enough."
Tifa sat next to him in solemn thought, taking all of this in. Her eyes remained on the glittering sand as she remained silent for a long moment.
"Is that why you lied about being SOLDIER, because you didn't want to disappoint me?"
Cloud hopped off the dome with his rifle slung over one shoulder, and Tifa followed. They shuffled over to the swings and sat down, while she twisted the ropes of hers to face him.
"I just…wanted to be more than what I am. I wanted to prove that I'm not just some cut-out character with the personality of a paperclip. I wanted to earn my right to exist, deserve the air I breathe. I didn't want to come back to you as just some mama's-boy from the middle of nowhere…I wanted to come back to you a hero."
"After hearing the stories you've told me, I think you're pretty heroic anyway."
"…I'm still not your hero though. I'm still not a SOLDIER."
"Cloud, I don't care if you were a janitor at Shinra."
Dammit, he hated when other people were right about him.
"Why would you think I would want you any different than you are?" she asked, and he fidgeted at the ground.
"I saw you sitting on that big strong SOLDIER's lap. I could never live up to that."
"CLOUD!" she twisted out of her swing and planted herself on his lap. He gasped upright. "I only did that because I missed you. I thought you were in SOLDIER, and he kinda reminded me of you."
"Really? He reminded you of me?"
A small smile, and a quick nod let him know whose little hellraiser she really was. Now he held her leg steady so she wouldn't fall off his lap. Unlike Zack, it wasn't possible for Cloud to shift and hide anything. Little guys like him were never little everywhere. Cloud blushed the color of the tangerine sky and threw her a sheepish smirk.
"…So, Blonde Knight huh?"
And the breeze blew strands of ravenhair in his face. He didn't blink as her eyes locked with his, soft and strong against the fading sky. She'd always been tougher than him. It's what he loved about her. Now she sat nestled in his lap like she belonged to him, and a surge of mad energy ripped through him. He felt braver than he'd ever known he could be.
With furrowed brow, he went for it. He kissed her.
Chapped lips split, teeth banged together like a xylophone. A lip-locking seal more akin to waterboarding made breathing a challenge. He almost passed out holding his breath. He sat with his arms around her as a sledgehammer bash-battered his left ventricle. Heartrates this high killed people.
He clutched her tight in his arms the way he held her back in 7th grade when they'd snuck into the woods to play Truth or Dare. Their truths got racy, and their dares became intimate. They passed the "show-me-yours" part of the game without letting the nervousness beat them, and got as far as touching themselves before the long hug dare with their pants around their ankles…which is where her father had caught them. She'd picked "truth," and he never got to take that final turn.
Enough was enough. He came out with it, after so long.
"Do you want to be with me?"
"Can I?"
"I want you to."
"I want to."
And that finality shot in static beads through his heart as he kissed his first girlfriend against the sunset.
By the one-hundreth kiss, it was second nature. They found themselves tonguing it in the dark all the way back to the Inn. They clamored up the steps trying not to make a racket, failed, and stowed away into Cloud's room that he shared with Zack—who was still out on patrol.
*Lock*
Sorry buddy.
Cloud and Tifa pressed against each other in the dark, hands wandering like a petting zoo. He eased his rifle off against the wall with the safety on—Cloud was big on safety.
"Hold on a minute…" and he scrambled to the dresser to dig through Zack's sock drawer.
What the heck? He couldn't find any! What kind of a guy like Zack didn't have condoms! The answer hit him with a smirk, something the gods of bro-code forbade him from ever using against his best pal.
Someone who wasn't getting any.
"It's alright! I'm on the Pill," Tifa assured him. Nothing ever told him to lock-and-load more in his life. She grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him onto the bed, where they toppled like a Jenga tower.
She was practically ripping his uniform off! He didn't know how he ended up naked in his Infantry boots but he was cool with it. Nails digging into his back, demanding him down on her, a sense of titanic expectation dawned on him. He had no idea what he was doing.
Her hips thrust up into him, but this was harder than he thought. What the heck why won't it go in!? Now his nerves were a bloody mess. That rifle may as well have been cocked at his head. Jamming himself at her over and over was getting nowhere, until she manhandled his manhood where it needed to go. He slid into her like dry plastic, and felt…absolutely nothing.
This is it?
Somehow all of those masturbation fantasies fell flat as he tried his best, a rhythmic jostling that had his hips cramping up. Slight warmth came over him that he couldn't even enjoy for fear of displeasing her. He begged his arms not to give out on him.
She must not have been feeling it either as she flipped over on all-fours, pulling him into her. Oh God. What was he supposed to do here? He knew what was supposed to happen in the movies but this was like some speed-timed event on a foreign-language game show. Door Number One or Door Number Two?
"Hurry up!" she called. He went for it. "OUCH!"
He lurched back, curled into a ball at the edge of the bed. The wave of shame hit like the principal's paddle from primary school. He could hear the Primarch yelling that he'd strayed from the "path," whatever that meant. Now her slick was on him, and he cringed up with boots pressed tight to his bare thighs. He was a disgusting urchin, an insect, a sick pervert who should go find a bridge to jump off.
A soft brush swept the skin of his arm. She reached for him as he choked back tears.
"…It's my first time."
"It's alright," she reassured, calling him to her. She coaxed him with light whispers out of his shell, and got him to lie rigid next to her. She talked to him like she used to when they would go swimming by the reservoir, running her hands over his body in slow sweeps. Her heart broke as her fingers traced the jutting indentations of his ribcage. He still had that problem.
She liked his arms, and said she wished her arms were like his. Cloud assured her she didn't. Everyone would grab them all the time.
"Well it's better than where they grab now!" she pouted, to which he responded with a little squeeze of his own. She squeaked and pinched him, and they were in a knock-down-drag-out tickle fight that ended with her hands around places that made him go limp.
Slower now, she crawled over him and took it from there. The soft satin flush of her warmth invaded him, like a hot-rock massage on the inside of his brain. Now he understood why people made a big deal about this.
Her weight pressed against him in a mind-exploding flood of vibration, cradling his hips in a silk suction that gave him an out-of-body experience. Immobilized, enslaved to her sweet umbra, he gasped in the wake of new sensations. Waves of soft elation swept his body, like he was waking up for the first time. She moved in a possessive flourish with hands planted on his chest to give him a full view of her curvature, the sight of him entering her through thick thighs that he could enjoy for the rest of his life.
Too bad he came like a cheap squirt gun in the first three minutes, or a gardening hose that someone kept turning on and off.
"…Sorry…"
She giggled and bit his nose. They cooled down for a few minutes—let him recharge—before she got antsy. He'd gotten his, now it was her turn.
She put her cowgirl hat on and took him to church.
Zack got back exhausted from hiking laps around the town. He dragged himself up the stairs, down the hall, went to turn the handle but pulled back. An ear to the door, and eyebrows shot to the ceiling. Tifa and Cloud were going at it like they were trying to break the bed! Zack didn't blame them. That was probably years of buildup they were sorting out. He was glad to know the kid was at least taking his advice.
For you, think plank. You are a flat board, just lay there and let her screw your brains out. Make like a dead fish, let her flop around on top of you. SLUG! Think slug!
While Cloud was busy losing his virginity, Zack pulled his hand away, patted himself on the back, and went to find a couch to sleep on.
When the sun came up in the crisp morning and they walked out of the Inn together, Cloud stopped cold at seeing Sephiroth leaned against the wall on the porch. He gasped, breath fogging up before his face as he exhaled, but none fogged up in front of Sephiroth's. He stood there with arms crossed, looking down at Cloud who now pulled a girlfriend in tow with a subtle glint of satisfaction, a warm glow emulating from ethereal irises. He seemed like he was there just to look at Cloud, like a father violating a custody order to see his child. As Cloud gazed back at the big man with a look of reverence, he felt the one thing in his heart he wanted to say to him.
You taught me to be brave.
"Hey Cloud?" asked Tifa. "What are you looking at?"
Chills ran up Cloud's arms as Sephiroth stood up off the wall and walked down the steps of the Inn. The big man with silver hair and warm cerulean eyes became translucent as crystal glass, fading like mist into the fog.
Cloud stood there for a long moment before the brush of soft fingers brought him back. He took his girlfriend's hand and walked with her down the steps. She had to sneak back through her window to make it look like she'd been home that night. Wrapping her arms around his neck, he pulled her in for a soft kiss.
"I'll see you later," she smiled, and took off down the road to her house. Zack meanwhile trotted up to him as he headed into town.
"Hey!"
"Hey."
Zack held back a huge grin with all his might as he caught the dark rings under Cloud's eyes. The kid hadn't slept a wink. With hands in his pockets trying to keep from bouncing up and down, Zack strolled next to him.
"I slept on the couch last night," he mentioned off hand. "Kinda hurt my back."
Cloud threw a coy smile. "Well, you deserve it."
"Aw what for?"
"Kissing my girl."
Ohh Zack could barely contain his excitement. He held in the urge to jump all over him, pick him up and parade him around town! He was so proud of the little guy! Now he was bouncing up and down, and his smile crept in wincing pain across his face.
"…You know, I forgot to mention that it was YOUR MOM'S COUCH!"
And then they were running, Cloud chasing a laughing Zack with flaring fists as they went.
But what the hell was going on with Sephiroth up at the Manor? They couldn't take much more of this. It had been six days…
[Received Promise Ring]
