NOTE: This chapter and chapter 53 have been posted at the same time. Read this one first, but make sure you catch chapter 53 as well.


Cloud

He... touched my hair and turned away. That was the only thing I remembered at that moment, I thought. I... couldn't feel everything, but I could feel his hand on my head... warm, and lingering. Everything was too bright, or too dark, but I could see him a little. I could see him staring at me, smiling, but not really smiling. He looked worried, or discomforted by something, like he had that feeling you get in your chest and your throat when you know something awful has happened, or will happen; a tense pulling or pushing, when it becomes difficult to breathe. He had that feeling, the black-haired boy, and I had it too.

He was grown up now, and I knew what I was seeing was not a memory. There was no safety in the back of my mind, no assurance that what was happening had already happened, and nothing could go any more wrong than it already had. Maybe my mind had become a retreat, I thought; a place where I didn't have to worry about becoming anything, or impressing anyone, or protecting anyone, or holding them when they needed it. So much fear came with living in the present, so much responsibility, and so much room for failure. Everything had felt like it failed. I couldn't remember anything too clearly, overwhelmed by the dampness of the air, and the reality of what I was seeing... who I was seeing. All I knew was how it felt; like my body was broken, like my life was over, and like the one thing that I had left was turning away from me for the final time.

I watched his back. I watched his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. I felt the hair on the top of my head, gently shifting and standing back up where his hand had rested. I blinked, and I could feel it. I knew I had been blinking before, but I really felt it that time. I felt the eyelid close as though I were the one who did it, and not as though I was seeing out of a foreign body. I had felt my hair too, and thinking about it, I realized that I could feel the rock underneath me, and I could recognize the water in the air. My muscles tensed when I tensed them. I could move again, so I tried so hard to. I lifted my hand like a weight, slowly into the air, reaching for the man that I couldn't remember the name of. He was so close, but he couldn't see me. I felt my lips part, and tried to remember how to speak, but no words could leave my mouth. He walked away then, even as my hand continued to reach for him, and disappeared into the blinding sun.

I didn't remember if I was conscious after that. I heard gunshots. I had heard many gunshots. I didn't know whether the sounds were real or not. Something dripped on my wrist at one point, water maybe, then on the top of my head, and on my right leg. It was rain. One last gunshot echoed, disturbing the quiet that had finally fell over me. Then there were voices, vague and quiet, getting closer. My eyes opened, and I could see the boots of a familiar uniform on a man who walked up to me, but everything was still a bit blurry.

"I found the other one," I heard a voice say, and more footsteps sounded behind it. "What do you want to do with him?" There was a very long silence after that, only broken by the shifting of boots on the dampened rocks.

"Just leave him there..." another voice said, his tone less than happy. The first voice protested.

"But... sir..."

"He's been poisoned by mako, he's not gonna go anywhere." There was another silence and more shifting before the man spoke again. "We've done enough here. Come on... let's go."

There was more shifting, more footsteps, and then silence. The only sound that followed after that was the rain picking up and breaking on the rocks, and I drifted into a sort of daze. When I focused again, it was on my hand laying by my left side. I could move the fingers on it now, and I watched as I slowly raised my arm up again, like when I reached for... him. He... hadn't come back yet. I remembered that, somewhere, sometime, he told me that he would never abandon me. I believed him, but... he hadn't come back. I needed to find him.

I forced more of my body to move, shifting my torso for the first time. I dropped down on my arms, barely holding my head off of the rocks over a puddle. My reflection stared back at me, weakly, and I noticed a difference with my eyes. There was mako floating around there. They weren't just blue anymore, but a sort of blue-green with a glow. I didn't know why it felt so strange to me. I didn't know why those men said I was poisoned by mako either, but that wasn't important at the time. I put pressure on my arms, holding myself up on them and raising my head. Rain fell before my eyes, and I blinked and twitched my head a bit in surprise when it dripped off my bangs.

The sky had gotten darker with the clouds, but it still took my eyes a minute to adjust, and when they did, I could see the body of a man laying out in the rain by the edge of a cliff. Along side the man, clasped in his hand, laid a large, familiar sword. I knew who that was. It was... him. I couldn't... lose that memory... I knew his name... I had to know his name. I forced my arms to move again, and started to drag myself along the ground. Slowly, but surely, I approached him. There were many pieces of broken rocks, weapons, and helmets everywhere. Blood mixed with the rain in the puddles around him. As I crawled, my hand brushed the fabric of his pants, and it stopped me in place. Just the smallest touch brought reality closer to me, and I found it hard to raise my head to look at him. With a few last breaths, I pulled myself up closer to his chest and pushed up higher off the ground so that I could see him. He was hurt, and there was blood running down his face, but his eyes were open. I... I needed... I needed to know his name. I needed to say his name.

"Z-Zack..." I felt every movement of my mouth pronouncing the name, and my brain rushing with it. His body twitched, and his eyes flicked as he made a small, pained noise. Then, he exhaled, and the corners of his mouth turned up when his eyes found me. He stared into my eyes, and I wanted to know what he was thinking, and I wanted to hear him talk. He took another breath.

"For the... both of us..." he said gently, keeping his smile. It looked difficult for him to keep his eyes focused, and I felt mine dart between them.

"Both of us?" I repeated, the words coming out quietly in the rain. He continued to stare in silence for a moment, then carefully nodded his head.

"That's right..." He blinked slowly, and his arm started to move. "You're gonna..."

"You're gonna..." I repeated the words again, and his hand reached up to touch the back of my head. He held his hand in my hair again, and pulled my head down to rest on his chest.

"Live." I felt his chest move with the breath of the word. I felt his warmth, and the comfort I'd been wanting to feel for so long. I felt everything I didn't want to lose. I wanted to do anything to hold him, to keep him there, to never let him go. "You'll be..." he whispered, and I could feel his arm shaking as he held on, "my living legacy."

His fingers ran through my hair as his arm fell back down to the cold stone by his side. His breath was heavier now, and I slowly lifted myself back off his chest. There was blood in my hair, and on my cheek... his blood. His blood was everywhere... and he was still smiling. Slowly, he turned his head to the hand that still gripped the Buster Sword.

"My honor, my dreams," he said, slowly pulling the sword from a puddle and holding it up to me. I stared at the hilt and his hand as he spoke, and his face turned serious. "They're yours now."

I sat back and reached my hand up to take the hilt, feeling my glove close gently around it. His hand stayed, but as I raised my other to take his, it fell, and I took the sword in both. I pulled the sword closer to me, and I felt the tips of his fingers brush against me as they fell back to the ground.

"I'm your... living legacy..." he was smiling again, but my heart dropped as his eyes began to close. I watched him, trying to speak, and waiting for him to look at me again. The rain fell, and Zack was still, and my breath was heavy in my lungs. Zack didn't open his eyes again, and I knew he wouldn't. Everything in my life was gone. The pressure built inside me as I turned my eyes up to the sky, and to the rain. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to let go. So I screamed. I screamed with all my might, and my dreams, and my fears, and with everything that went wrong or right. I screamed with every betrayal, every kiss, and every touch of the hand, every promise, every smile, and every day I'd worked so hard in my life. I screamed with everything, and the rain continued to fall.

I watched the sky for hours, I watched Zack for hours, and eventually the rain had stopped, the sun looked out from behind the clouds, and I could feel its warmth. The blood had washed away from Zack, and even then he was smiling. Zack used to say... embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams. Everything in my life was not gone. I had at least one thing... my dreams... Zack's dreams... and as long as I held onto those, I could hold onto him, and my life wouldn't be over. I looked over him as the sun shined down on us, and I felt a smile for the first time in a long time. Zack gave me one more chance to live... one more chance to have dreams.

"Thank you," I said, holding myself together, breathing in the air again. "I won't forget." I shut my eyes and stood up, letting the strength come back to my legs, and finally looked down on the man who changed my life, one last time. I wasn't able to save him like he had saved me, but I was going to leave those weaknesses behind. I would live life... for the both of us.

"Good night..." I said, turning away and facing the open sky. "Zack." I took the hilt of the sword again in both hands, holding it as tightly as I shut my eyes, and then set off to a new life, never looking back.