Author's Note: Well, I want to thank everyone for their reading and reviewing, seriously you guys make my day. I hope that Everyone enjoys the latest installment of ICFY! As Always READ/ENJOY/REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I am not now nor have I ever been, or ever will be Stephanie Meyer. Therefore I do not own Twilight or the beautiful characters withing said story. However, Ana, Jade, and Elijah are mine :) And I think they are pretty dandy. Anydoodles, onto Chapter 48!!!!

Chapter 48: The Final Goodbye

" I think of you in silence, I often speak your name, all I have left are memories, and a heart around your name. My heart aches with sadness and all my tears will flow, but what it meant to lose you no one will ever know."


Two months have flown by, and I walk from my final class, feeling confidant that I aced my last final for the year.

" Hey, how'd it go?" Elijah's familiar voice comes from behind me, and I smile as he takes my bag and books from me. For the last two months I have spent the majority of my time with him. Whether we were studying, or just lounging between his apartment and mine, he has been my constant rock.

" Good. I have to thank you again, for staying up with me all night last night, I probably would have failed if it wasn't for you," I say, gently pressing a hand to my stomach. I wince and stop walking, taking a deep breath.

" You okay?" he asks, a look of worry on his face. " What did I tell you, we had an agreement. No early labor for you okay, especially when I'm around."

" No worries buddy, she's just being rowdy that's all. Probably throwing her own little in womb party, glad that all of the stress of school is over," I say, laughing as I rub a hand over my extended stomach. Pregnancy seems to be agreeing with me, at least that's what everyone close to me tells me. Doesn't matter that I cried like a baby just a month earlier when I couldn't button my jeans, even when I tried the whole laying on the bed trick, though Jade and Elijah are the only ones who know about that fiasco.

" Ahh, so it's a girl then," he says, smiling at me brightly.

" Damn it," I say, picking my pace back up. I had been trying to keep the sex of my unborn child a secret, from everyone. Save for Jade, Alice, and Rosalie who all insisted to join me on the day that I found out.

" Yeah, it's a girl," I say, stopping at the corner of the courtyard. I look around, wondering where everyone is. We had agreed to meet at four. I smile when I see my friends walking towards me.

" Hey momma," Emmett says, running a hand over my stomach. For some unknown reason, Emmett has become obsessed with my ever extending stomach.

" Emmy, what did I tell you, you don't get to touch my tummy until I get a compliment from you once a day," I say, swatting his hands away. It was a game that the girls and I had cooked up. The only way he could touch my stomach is if I get a compliment, if he gives me the same compliment twice, he loses baby tummy touching privileges for a day.

" Ugh fine, Ana, you're a goddess, the most beautiful pregnant woman ever," he says, and I giggle letting him touch my stomach.

" See, was that so hard?" I ask, smiling when my baby gives a quick kick. Emmett jumps in surprise. He was the last one left to feel the baby move, save for one other person. My heart aches at the thought of Jasper.

" Wow," he says, staring in amazement at my stomach. " I want one." I stare in shock, looking at Rosalie's mortified face.

" Whatever you are thinking Emmett McCarthy Cullen, get it straight out of your head," Rosalie says, her face stained with pink.

" But babe," he says, and the group erupts in laughter. I shake with laughter, when Rosalie flashes a look at me.

" You started this, if he doesn't stop bugging me about babies and I end up pregnant I will hold you personally responsible," Rosalie says, which only makes me laugh harder. We walk out of the courtyard our laughter still echoing off the walls.


" So are you going to be there tonight?" Jade asks, nonchalantly thumbing through one of my pregnancy magazines. I will admit, just like I'm accused, I have become obsessive. Reading every available pregnancy magazine, book, anything I can get my hands on. I cant count how many nights I stayed up googling different things, reading all available information until my eyes burned and I fell asleep, face on my keyboard.

" Be where?" I ask, looking through my cabinets in search of something to eat.

" The house. The party. You know, Jasper's sending off," she says, and I freeze. For the last two months, I have easily been able to completely avoid Jasper all together. Being at the house when he was gone, text message from everyone when he would be back at the house so I could leave before he got home, saving us both from an embarassing and akward situation.

" I don't think that would be smart. It would be better if I just stayed as far away as I can," I say, looking at the cabinet with a blank expression.

" Ana, your going to have to face him sooner or later. You will have all of us to back you up, hell even bring Elijah, but you have to do this. You need the closure," she says, rubbing a hand down my back. I hadn't even noticed that she was standing with me.

" I know your right, but," I trail off shaking my head. No, I cant run from this anymore. I cant run from him, or this moment. I owe it to myself, but more importantly I owe it to my baby. I run a hand protectively over my stomach. " I'll be there."

" That's my girl," she says, hugging me.


" Are you sure you want to do this? I can turn the car around right now," Elijah says, looking over at me as I squirm nervously in my seat. I expel a deep breath.

" Of course I'm not sure I want to be doing this, but I have to. Jesus," I whisper, pushing on my stomach.

" What's the matter?" he asks, stopping at a red light.

" Nothing, she just has this way of getting her foot right under my ribs," I say, trying to drag in a deep breath. Elijah places his hand on my stomach, and a small tingle of electric energy passes between us.

" Sorry," he says, swiftly taking his hands from my stomach, gripping the steering wheel. The last two months with Elijah have been great. He's been my constant shoulder to cry on, and I have been struggling over conflicting feelings. Wondering why it is that even though I am still in love with Jasper, I cant stop feeling drawn to Elijah. I close my eyes, and open them just in time to see that we are pulling up in front of the house that I used to call home. My palms grow cold and clammy and I almost tell Elijah to just start the car and pull away. I let out a shaky breath as I open the car door slowly.

" You ready sugar?" Elijah asks, holding his hand out to me. I smile slowly lacing my fingers with his, and walk to the door. I lift my hand to knock just as the door opens revealing a smiling Jasper. I look at him as he looks at me, his smile fading slowly as he see's my hand intertwined with Elijah's.

I brush past Jasper with a small hello, finding my way to the rest of the group, Elijah in tow.

" Ana-banana you made it," Emmett says, hugging me closely.

" Of course I did," I say, laughing slightly.

" You okay?" Emmett asks, his voice a soft whisper in my ear. I nod my head, my mouth too dry for me to talk. I sit down heavily in my seat, and watch as people mill around the house. Most of them I don't know, but some I recognize from work. I blush deeply when Veronica approaches me.

" Hello sweetheart," Veronica says, bending down to hug me.

" Hello," I say, trying not to make eye contact with her. Veronica kept her cool when she found out about Jasper and I being married, and even when she found out that I was pregnant. I was half expecting her to blow up, at the very least for her to fire me. She didn't. Instead she was enthusiastic and happy for us both. Until she found out that Jasper was still going to London, and had annialated my heart. I thought my mom was scary when she angry, Veronica was down right terrifying. I watch as she sits down next to me, taking my hand in hers.

" Ana, can I ask you something," she asks, and I look at her, nervously shaking my head.

" Yes," I say, resting my free hand on my stomach.

" Are you okay?" she asks, concern glittering in her eyes, eyes that were so much like her son's.

" Honestly, no. I have to keep reminding myself that I have to move on, that I have a child to think about, but it doesn't stop the ache," I say, rubbing my stomach as my unborn child moves around.

" If I could I would beat some sense into my son. He doesn't know what he's losing, and it breaks my heart," she says, and I smile sadly.

" I just hope that you know, that no matter what I will never keep you, your husband, or Rosalie out of this childs life," I say, and she hugs me tightly.


The rest of the night went on without a hitch. I smile as the last of the guests leave.

" Ugh, I didn't think it would ever end," Rosalie says, flopping down onto the couch. I look at her perplexed. Rosalie was never one to complain about a party.

" It wasn't that bad," Alice says, walking around picking up discarded cups as she went.

" So, what time does Jasper's flight leave?" I ask, and everyone looks at me shocked. I know that Jasper is up in his room, with Emmett and Edward, finishing his packing. He always has had the tendency of putting things off to the last minute, so why should this be any different.

" Twelve thirty five," Rosalie says, and I check my watch. It was only a quarter to ten. Jade changes the subject quickly and soon the time is flying by. I look at the time realizing that Jasper would be leaving any second now.

" I'll be right back," I say, walking towards the stares. I look up the stairs, trying to gather my thoughts. My heart hammers against my chest as I take each step. I stare at Jasper's bedroom door, struggling inside myself to just knock on the door. Finally I do, and I hear Jasper call out for me to come in. I open the door slowly. Surprised to see that nothing had changed. I watch as he looks over smiling, but it fades slowly as he realizes who I am.

" Hey," I offer weakly, wishing I could just sit down.

" Hey," Jasper echoes back.

" Listen. I just wanted to wish you good luck. I hope you know that I meant that," I say, swaying slightly. Jasper rushes towards me, pressing a hand to my lower back, another to my stomach, and in that moment it was as if the child growing inside of me knew that her father was touching her, because she kicked. I watched the amazement light up Jasper's eyes, and realized I made a huge mistake. My eyes fill with tears as I slide the white envelope out of my back pocket. I hand it to him, and smile softly.

" I want you to have this, just don't read it until your on the plane," I say, watching him take the paper from my hands.

" Oh Jasper, its time to go," Emmett yells up the stairs. I hug Jasper tightly, breathing him in. I hold off the tears, and press my cheek to his.

" Bye, I love you," I whisper, turning I walk from the room quickly. I shake my head clear, pressing the tears as far back as I can. I walk downstairs where the rest of the family is gathered. I stand next to Jade, and she instinctively runs her hand down my arm, taking my hand in hers. She squeezes lightly as Jasper comes down stairs and starts saying his good byes. I watch, as he hugs Rosalie for a long time, and feel someone taking my hand in theirs. I look up at Elijah, his gray eyes staring down at me.

" Well, I guess this is it," Jasper says, picking up his duffel bag. " I will be back in a couple of months, to visit. You guys don't have to much fun without me." I hold my breath and watch as he leaves the house. I let out a shaky breath, pressing my face into Jade's shoulder I finally cry, letting it all out. This is it. He's gone. He really is. This was the final good bye.


Jasper's POV

The silence in the car is deafening. Usually by now Emmett would be talking my ear off, instead it's like I hit a stone cold wall of silence.

" So your really going to go? Just leave?" Emmett asks, finally breaking the silence in the car.

" Emmett," I say, annoyed as I rub my fingers against my eyes.

" No, I'm serious Jasper. That girl loves you, she's having your baby. I cant believe you of all people are just walking away from something like that," he says, and he flashes me a serious look. There are few things in this world that scare me, but Emmett's serious face is definitely at the top of the list. He looks like a menacing and calculating boxer, setting up for a knock out blow.

" I understand that just about everyone hates me, but did any of you stop to think that I wanted Ana to come to London. She said no," I say, knowing that it's a pitiful excuse.

" Oh yeah, how could I forget. You wanted the girl that you love, the girl that you married, to just up and leave her family, her friends, school, move for a year to a foreign country, and have a baby there," he says, driving home just how selfish I was, and continue to be. I groan, watching the night sky flash by the car windows. Finally at the airport, Emmett claps me in a hug and says his good bye. I watch as one of my best friend leaves wondering how things will be a year from now.

I sit turning the envelope Ana gave me over in my hands. I contemplate just shoving it away into a bag and forgetting it, and her. I know that's impossible. I could never forget her. The way she smiles, smells, laughs, sings. I close my eyes tightly, before summoning the strength to open the envelope. I slide out the letter, and two pictures fall into my lap. The first was of me and Ana, her sitting on my lap in the living room, and I can almost hear the laughter as I recall that day. I turn over the other picture, and see my unborn child in the womb. On the bottom of the picture in Ana's sweet hand writing, Lilliana Grace Hale. Due Date: September 20th. I stare at the picture until tears cloud my eyes and I shake my head trying to clear my eyes, opening the letter.

'Jasper,

I know I shouldn't be writing this, and I have tried talking to myself out of this for days now, but I just cant seem to do so. There are just so many things that were left unsaid. Under the cover of the pain, and heart ache, I have to tell you that I am proud of you. I'm so proud that your going for your dreams. Somehow along the way I forgot everything that my mom ever told me about following your dreams. You have to follow your dreams Jasper, no matter where they take you, or who they take you away from. I'm going to miss you every single day, and I will think about you in everything. Everytime I see a sunrise I will remember the times that I watched you as you slept just as the sun was coming up. Everytime I pick up my guitar and write a new song, I will remember that it was you who told me to keep doing it. I am always going to love you Jasper, you have to remember that, and hold that close to your heart. Most importantly, I will remember you and the love that we shared whenever I look at our daughter. I hope she has your eyes. Maybe we are better off this way, maybe we wont be. I guess only fate will be able to decide that.

Love Always,

Ana.

P.S " No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No one person has the right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams."-Jesse Jackson.'

I clutch the letter to my heart as the plane takes off. Even now, as I know, as everyone knows that I'm being a selfish bastard, somehow Ana has managed to turn this around and take the blame solely onto herself. I hold the pictures she gave me close to my heart, my heart breaking and I cry freely, unashamed of who see's me. I just made the biggest damn mistake of my life.


Ana's POV

" You didn't have to come tonight Elijah," I say, sitting comfortably on my couch. I prop my feet on the table and lay my hand against my stomach.

" I know, but I wanted too," Elijah says, handing me a bottle of water. I watch as he makes himself comfortable on the couch. I sigh heavily letting my head roll back so that I can stare at the ceiling. " It was hard for you wasn't it, even after all this time?" I sigh heavily, and look up and over at him.

" Yeah. I thought, no that's not right, I was hoping that by now it wouldn't hurt as much, but I was wrong. Still hurts just as much as it did when things first went bad," I say, cursing the fact that I am so emotional, pregnancy hormones don't help the already overly emotional. " I guess I was secretly hoping that it would be like in Friends. You know, when Rachel was leaving to Paris, and at the last minute she has the 'what in the hell am I doing' moment. I was hoping Jasper would come back. That he would realize that he didn't want to leave me, us. So much for wishing, huh?" I run my hands up and down my stomach, tears streaming down my face as I realize just how true my statement was. I was wishing, with everything inside of me that Jasper would change his mind, that this wouldn't have to be our good bye.

" It isn't going to stop hurting for a long time Ana. I'm not going to lie to you, and I wish that I could make it better for you but I cant. All I can do is offer you a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on," he says, rubbing his hand up and down my neck. I smile through the tears that slide down my cheeks.

" Thank you. You seriously, have become one of my best friends," I say, chuckling as I wipe my face. I look up at him and see his eyes changing. A familiar emotion swimming in his eyes, before his lips brush nervously against mine. He pulls back quickly staring at me.

" I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, I'm so sorry," he says, getting up to pace around the living room. I stare at him in shock, not because he kissed me, no I should have seen it coming. My state of shock is owed to the fact that I liked it. I wanted him to do it again. It felt, right.

" I'm just going to go," he says, and he races through the door before I have the time to protest.

" What the hell just happened?" I ask myself out loud, pressing a shaking hand to my chest.


I pull in front of the house and push from the car. I've been jumpy all day, feeling as if that one sweet, spontaneous kiss that Elijah and I shared was a capitol crime. I walk to the door and slide my key into the door, opening it slowly.

" Hello," I call out, looking for any sign of people being awake.

" Ana?" Edward's voice comes from the kitchen and I smile as I make my way towards him and the aroma of breakfast being cooked.

" Hey, what'cha cooking?" I ask nonchalantly, leaning against the counter.

" Mmm, pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast," Edward says, smiling when he looks at me. I try and think of anything else that I can, keeping my train of thought as far away from kissing Elijah as I can, but to no avail. I watch as his eyes cloud over, his smile falters, and then grows.

" Don't look at me that way," I say, defenses automatically raising as I snag a piece of bacon.

" Look at you how?" he asks innocently.

" I know that you know Edward. Please don't say anything to anyone, not until I'm ready," I say, biting into my bacon.

" You have my word I wont say anything, but Ana you have to know that no one is going to hold it against you if you move on, especially if its with Elijah. He's a great guy, and he is crushing on you hard core. I know that everyone has been trying to make Jasper see reason, but I know I cant force him to. I want to believe that my best friend, and someone who is like a sister to me will find their way back together, especially because of her," he says, rubbing his free hand over my stomach. " But I also know that trying to stay with someone just because you have a child with them is wrong, for everyone involved, more importantly the child. We just want you to be happy Ana, all of us. If it's with Jasper great, but not one of us would blame you, or think you were wrong if you chose not to be with him." I stare at Edward in disbelief. Edward and I have talked, but never before has he spoken his mind to me so freely. It was always just a comfortable friendship between us from day one. My eyes mist over and before I know what happens I break down crying. I sob loudly, my face buried in my hands.

" What's going on in here? Ana? Edward what did you do?" Emmett asks gruffly grabbing me protectively in his arms.

" He, he, didn't do an-anything, he was just so sweet," I say, my voice choking out barely audible over my tears.

" Pregnancy hormones," Emmett and Edward say in unison, and I cant help but laugh at that.


An hour later, I am sitting in Alice's room, pouring over paint colors. I don't even know why, living in an apartment puts the brakes on any hopes of redecorating for the baby. As if Alice knew what I was thinking, she looks at me a wicked smile crossing her face.

" You know, if you want you could always move back in here. I would move into Jasper's room, give you this one to paint and redecorate for the baby," Alice says, smiling at me hopefully.

" Alice, I appreciate the offer, but one I'm sure Jasper wouldn't appreciate coming home a year from now and finding that he has been kicked out of his room, and two, I have a year lease I cant afford to break," I say, closing the book with the cheerful pictures of painted and furnished nurseries.

" I know, but it didn't hurt to try," she says laughing. " By the way, just to give you a heads up. Rosalie, her Mom, and your Mom have been planning your baby shower." I cringe and smile at the same time. Somehow I knew that would be coming.

" I kind of figured, ugh, how scared should I be?" I ask, rubbing my stomach softly as my daughter kicks furiously.

" Be afraid, very afraid," she says, and I laugh. It's the first time that I have laughed and truly meant it in this house, and for a minute I cautiously think that maybe things are going to be a little easier than I expected.