A/N My apologies for taking so long to get this chapter out. Things happen. Sorry about the length, but I really wanted to end this at chapter 50, even if I have to have two long chapters. If you have a a question about the science, PM me. Again, I want to thank all the readers, those who have helped me, and especially those who took the time to review. If you haven't reviewed, now is your second to last chance. If you have, please review again. I don't own any of the characters, except Jim, Bruce, and Alain. If you want to use any of those three, be my guest.
Chapter 49 The Offer and Worries
Leonard had felt much better this morning. He had awoken early, got his shower, turned on Penny's coffeemaker and headed over to get dressed. Much to Leonard's surprise, Sheldon had gotten up early as well and was ready to go. He quickly got dressed and ran to give Penny her kiss, waking her up. She tried to ask him how he felt, but he said, "Sorry, I have to run," then he ran to gather Sheldon and headed to work early. After leaving the lab early yesterday, I'm glad things worked out to where I'm able to get in early and get things started.
After getting in, he turned on the lasers to warm up and headed for the cafeteria for a coffee. Upon returning, he found the lasers ready to go and started his measurements. To his great relief, he found the calibration went rather quickly this morning and started setting all the values for the tests. His first test measurements were within the allowable errors, enabling him to start the actual experimental runs almost immediately. If this keeps up, I may be done by noon, he though with a smile.
...
It was 11 AM as Howard entered the outer office of President Siebert. He announced himself to the secretary and was surprised when he was told they were waiting for him. He knocked on the door and from the inside heard, "Come in."
Closing the door behind him, he sat in front of the desk where Siebert indicated, I wish I knew why Siebert had wants me here, and where are "they".
After Howard was seated, President Siebert spoke up, "Dr. Paige, can you hear me?"
"Yes," Howard heard a distinctly English voice say, "is Howard Wolowitz there?"
Howard had a confused look on his face, but Siebert said, "Yes, he's here Dr. Paige."
"It's wonderful to talk to you Mr Wolowitz," he heard the voice say. "I've been told quite a few nice things about you. I'm Dr. Alain Paige."
"Thank you, Dr. Paige," said Howard, still wondering why he was here.
Then he heard "It's good to hear you again, Howard. How have you been?" Howard's confused look changed to one of surprise at the distinctly mechanical voice of Professor Steven Hawking.
"Professor Hawking," said Howard in shock, "how are you?"
"I'm fine, and remember, please call me Steven."
"Thank you, Profe...Steven," Howard said.
Siebert Jumped in, "Yes, time is short, Steven, can we get to the ..."
"President Siebert," said Dr. Paige. I want to point out that Professor Hawking has worked with Mr Wolowitz before. He has no trouble being on a first name basis with those he's worked with. Since he has not worked with you, could you please call him Professor or Dr. Hawking."
President Siebert's face went red. Finally, sounding tense, he said, "OK, Professor Hawking, how do you want to start?"
"If I may President Siebert," said Dr. Paige. "Professor Hawking has some phrases set up to run, if appropriate. However, for most of this conversation, I will be talking and explaining. This will make things go a bit faster. Understand that Professor Hawking and I have talked about this, and he has given his approval to what I will say. Does this meet with your approval?"
"Yes, it does, Dr. Paige," said Siebert.
"That is fine with me," said Howard.
"Excellent," said Dr. Paige. "So, Mr Wolowitz, what we would like to know, is what can you tell us about Dr. Hofstadter?"
"Beg pardon?"
"President Siebert," Dr. Paige said with puzzlement, "didn't you tell Mr Wolowitz what this is about?"
"No, Dr. Paige," said Siebert, "I wasn't fully sure myself when I contacted him. After I was given all the information, I wanted to make sure that his answers were spontaneous, by not telling him."
"Very good," said Dr. Paige, "and quite understandable." So, Mr Wolowitz..."
"Excuse me, Dr. Paige," said Howard, "please call me Howard."
"Very good... Howard, please call me Alain," said Dr. Paige. President Siebert did not look happy as Dr. Paige started, "So, here is the situation. In two weeks we have an expedition going out to the North Sea. One of our experimental physicists had to drop out and we were thinking of inviting Dr. Hofstadter to join the crew in his place. We need someone with laser experience and he's been sending his work to several different teams here in England."
Dr. Paige continued, "We've reviewed his work, and think he would make an excellent member of the team. However, we don't really know anything of his personality or how he gets on with others. We realize that he is a friend of yours, but we want your opinions on his work, and if you think he'd fit in with the rest of the crew..."
"Hold on..." said Dr. Paige, there was about a minute of silence. "Dr. Hawking indicated the experimental team would be very similar, in character, to the group he worked with when he was there, with you assisting him. Can you tell us what you think about this?"
Howard was trying get his thoughts together. After a bit, Dr. Paige spoke, "Did you hear the question Howard?"
"Yes, Dr. Paige, I'm sorry, I was trying organize my thoughts," explained Howard. "First off, I want to say that he will get along with just about everyone. Steven, do you remember Dr. Cooper?"
There was a pause, and after about 45 seconds, Dr. Paige said, "He indicates he does."
"Well," said Howard, "Dr. Hofstadter is his roommate, that should give you an idea how he will get along with others."
Again there was a pause, quite a bit longer this time, "Professor Hawking just indicated that he is shocked that anyone gets along with Dr. Cooper and this is a good thing, but I'll talk to him later about it.
"Well, let me clarify for you, Dr. Paige..," said Howard.
"Excuse me Howard," said Dr. Paige, "as I said, please, call me Alain."
"Of course," said Howard, "my apologies. Dr. Cooper is extremely hard to get along with, yet Dr. Hofstadter not only gets along with him, but is his roommate. As far as Dr. Hofstadter's work, I'm an engineer, and I'm jealous of Dr. Hofstadter's skill with lasers. While I don't have a PhD in physics, one reason I continued to call you doctor, I am able and do follow my friend's work and I am aware of how well his work is accepted. Steven, remember when you were here, I told you about his work with the lasers and how he was trying to use it as a detection method?"
"Yes, Howard," said Dr. Paige, " we have talked about that and he remembers and is aware of his current work. He's been impressed with what he's seen over the last few months. This is the reason why we wanted to talk to you about his personality. Detection is something that that we may have a problem with, and we'll need his ideas for using lasers to make detections easier."
"Well," explained Howard, "what you may not know is how dedicated and focused he can be when he is working on a problem. He ignores everything else and just concentrates on the problems at hand. I can't think of anyone else I know whose work and personality would fit into something like this. I assume it will be a small crew?"
"Yes," said Dr. Paige, "it will, about 20 people on the scientific side, another 10-15 as the crew of the boat."
"How long will they be out there?"
"We're thinking three to four months," said Dr. Paige, "but it would best to be prepared for four months."
"What exactly are you looking for?"
"Do you know what Unruh radiation is, Howard?"
"Not in detail, you don't have to go into it if you can describe it more simply."
"Well," Dr. Paige started, "are you aware that equations of General Relativity are similar to the equations of fluid dynamics?"
"Yes,"
"Professor Hawking believes that using a large body of water, and doing hydrodynamic simulations of black holes, we can find something similar to Unruh radiation," said Dr. Paige. "The discovery of Unruh radiation would imply the existence of Hawking radiation. So you would understand Professor Hawking's interest."
"Yes, I do." Howard paused, then said seriously, "Steven, Alain, I can't think of anyone more qualified to join your expedition than Dr. Hofstadter. He understands General Relativity, he is an expert on lasers, he will work as hard as required, he is meticulous, and he will fit into any group."
There was a brief pause and the mechanical voice was heard, "Thank you Howard. I hoped you would give us good news about Dr. Hofstadter."
"Let me add," Dr. Paige spoke up, "we really do appreciate your endorsement, Howard. Now, President Siebert, we want to talk to several senior members of our team. They are all aware of Dr. Hofstadter's work and we want to give them the information that you and Howard provided on Dr. Hofstadter. How about we get back with you at 2 PM, your time?"
"Isn't that awfully late for you?" said Siebert.
"Yes, it is," said Dr. Paige, "but we are trying to get this opening filled as quickly as possible, so as not to hold up the expedition. If we need some extra time at night to get this accomplished, we will do it."
Howard spoke up, "Should I give Dr. Hofstadter some warning of this? I'm getting ready to go to lunch with him."
There was another long pause. Howard knew during these pauses, Professor Hawking was doing the painfully slow process of using his special keyboard to either ask or tell Dr. Paige something. Finally, Dr. Paige said, "Yes, you may warn him that he may be chosen. President Siebert, after Mr. Wolowitz leaves, I'll give you some of the preliminary information you can pass along to Dr. Hofstadter. We'll call back in about two hours, to let you know if we've chosen him and, if so, give you the rest. Although with your's and Mr. Wolowitz's recommendations, along with what we've heard from our teams about his work, I see no problems in adding him to the team, if he wants to join us."
"I'll be leaving then, Alain," said Howard. "Goodbye Steven."
"Thank you so much Howard," said Dr. Paige.
Thank you Howard," said the mechanical voice, "goodbye."
"Goodbye, President Siebert."
"Thank you Mr Wolowitz," said President Siebert.
Howard got up and left the office, heading for the cafeteria.
Howard had just finished going through the line, he had gotten a sandwich and was excitedly looking for the group. He saw Raj, Sheldon and Leonard and walked over to table and as he set his tray down and sat said, "Leonard, I may have gotten you a job."
Leonard looked puzzled, "I have a job."
Looking at Howard, Sheldon said, "Yes, he does. He caters to my every whim."
With a look of exasperation, Howard continued. "No, in a couple of weeks, Stephen Hawking's team is sending an expedition to the North Sea to test hydrodynamic simulations of black holes. One of their experimental physicists dropped out, and I recommended you."
Leonard looked surprised, "Well, do you really think I have a shot?"
Howard sounded excited, "Yeah, I've worked with Hawking. I talked you up. He knows your research. I think this could happen."
The surprise on Leonard's face had turned to shock, "He knows, wow."
Sheldon derisively said, "Well, now, but do you think that's a good idea? Uh, you know Star Trek. Should a guy with no name and a red shirt really go on an expedition?"
Raj spoke up, "Hey, don't discourage him. This is a fantastic opportunity."
Sheldon snapped back at Raj, "No one asked you, Uhura."
"Don't listen to him, Leonard," said Howard, "Siebert and I talked to Hawking and a Dr. Paige this morning, that's why I was so late for lunch. Hawking and his team are talking about it now. They liked your research, Siebert and I both recommended you. You should know by this afternoon."
Leonard face still registered shock, remembering an Alain Paige on his e-mail lists, "Wow, I can't believe it."
"You shouldn't," said Sheldon, "If anyone were to go on a trip such as this, it would be a theorist, like me. Not someone who's work is all derivative." With that, Sheldon stood and left, carrying his tray.
The guys watched Sheldon walk away. Finally, Howard said, "He doesn't know about latest work you been sharing, is he?"
Leonard shook his head, "No, I tried to explain it, but he blew me off."
"Then don't listen to him Leonard," said Howard. "Hawking knows your research and is supposed to call Siebert back in a couple of hours. It was my impression that you'll be asked to go, otherwise I don't think they would have let me tell you, so be ready for it."
...
Leonard was sitting at his desk in the apartment. He was looking at the E-mail from Hawking's group. Part of it was the official offer to join the team. Another was the travel arrangements to London, and finally, all of the other details required for him to travel with to London and join the experimental team, but he couldn't concentrate on it.
He had been so happy when Siebert called him to his office and told him, unofficially, that he had be selected, and then told that it was Hawking himself who selected him. Siebert went on about how honored he should be and how much attention this would bring to Cal Tech.
Leonard was just as excited, that he would be going on this expedition. He knew his laser work had brought this to him and was looking forward to working with other world class physicists in trying to solve this problem. He spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for the "official" notification and thinking of the trip and the various ways he work might make detection easier.
He had been amused at Sheldon's various attempts to get him to reconsider going and paid them no attention, right up until Sheldon reminder him of how well things had been going with Penny. In the excitement of getting chosen and the lure of working with other world class physicists, he had completely forgotten about that and Sheldon's pointing it out, shocked him. As pissed as he was for Sheldon reminding him of it, his overwhelming concern now was: how he could explain this to Penny?
...
Penny had been running late from work, so she wasn't surprised to see Leonard was already home. She climbed the stairs and opened the door to 4A and stuck her head in and said, "Hey you, you coming over?"
"In a minute," he said distractedly.
"You feeling all right?" ask Penny concerned. "You seemed like you were better this morning. Are you still not recovered from yesterday?"
"No, no, I'm fine. I'll be over as soon as I finish this," said Leonard, avoiding looking at Penny.
"OK," she said, "I know you're supposed to cook, but I'll start dinner after I get changed."
"Thanks, I'll see you in a few minutes," he said. He watched Penny start to leave and spoke up, "Er...Penny?"
She turned and looked at him quizzically, "Yeah?"
"Do you remember this past weekend when I had to work on that project?"
"Yeah?"
"I was explaining it...talking about what things...ahhhh... there was that...ummmm."
Penny was staring at him, "What?"
"I thought I...I started explaining...," He stopped, realizing he wasn't making any sense. Waving his hand at her, he said, "Don't worry about it now. I'll talk to you during dinner."
Penny looked at him strangely, "Ummmm, OK. Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"
"I'll talk to you later."
Leonard watch her nod her head, looking at him strangely, and close the door. He sat back in his chair, thinking. I have to figure out some way to tell her about the trip.
...
Leonard had finally thought of a way to explain it to her, so he finally headed over to 4B. Penny had the salads ready on the island. As he entered the apartment and walked toward the kitchen, he said, "So how was your day?"
Penny was waiting for him and said, "The morning was OK, I did all my side work, but I had a real rough afternoon."
"So what happened?" he asked.
They picked up their salads and were taking them to the table, "So, then, during my afternoon shift, I spilled an entire tray of drinks on myself."
"Oh, that's awful," said Leonard after putting his plate down.
"Not really," said Penny, "my shirt was soaking wet. I got, like, the biggest tip of my life."
Leonard forced a grin, then took a deep breath. This was it, "So, listen, do you remember when I said the similarities of the equations of general relativity and hydrodynamics suggest you could find the equivalent of Unruh radiation in a large body of water?"
With a deadpan look, Penny said, "I thought I said that to you."
Leonard grinned, watch Penny shrug and smile, then he said, "Anyway, Stephen Hawking's team is looking into that, and I've been invited to join them."
Penny look astonished, but grinned at him, "Wow, Hawking. Good for you."
"Well, it is." He paused, "Just, you know, I'd be gone for a while."
"Well, how long?" Penny asked unconcernedly.
"Three, four months."
"Whoa," said Penny looking shocked. She continued with concern in her voice, "When would you leave?"
"Couple of weeks."
There was a sharp intake of her breath, "Wow. Oh, okay." Penny paused, looking sad, but trying to sound positive continued, "Well, I'll just come visit you."
Despondently, Leonard said, "That's the thing, you can't. I'll be on a ship in the North Sea."
Penny thought about Hawking and his wheel chair, "On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?"
Leonard grinned wryly, but continued, "Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory."
Penny tried to be light, "Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub." It didn't seem to work, Leonard was looking serious, she continued, with a catch in her voice, "Wow. Okay. Four months."
Leonard sounded worried, "Yeah, and I'm a little worried because things between us have been so great, and I'd hate to do anything that screws that up."
Penny tried another joke, "Oh, sweetie, if you're gonna screw things up, it's gonna be while you're here, not while you're away, she said with a straight face. Leonard was nodding his head.
Penny realized this was too good of an opportunity for him and she had to not only let him go, but make sure he went. Looking at him, she said, "No. I mean, look, you have to go. It sounds like an amazing opportunity." She then tried anther joke, "And I'm just basing that on how much I didn't understand what you said about it."
Leonard grinned, "Okay. I'll confirm the travel arrangements in the morning."
Penny took a deep breath, trying to stay upbeat, "Okay. Good."
"I do have to ask you one favor," said Leonard.
"Sure."
"Sheldon's nervous about me leaving. Just keep an eye on him while I'm gone."
Penny sounded apprehensive, "Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?"
Leonard tried his own joke, "Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one." Penny and Leonard both started laughing. After they stopped laughing their faces became serious and they ate in silence, both their minds thinking about Leonard leaving.
They had almost finished when Leonard heard Penny sniff a couple of times. "You OK?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she sniffed.
"Sure you are."
"NO," she exclaimed, "really, I'm OK, just going to take a bit to get used to it."
"I don't have to go," suggested Leonard.
"Yes, you do."
"No, I can tell them they need to find..."
"No, Leonard," Penny said firmly, "you need to go. This is too good of an opportunity, you can't pass it up. Working with Hawking? How many people get to do that?"
"Are you sure?"
She tried to think of a way to explain it, and the idea came easily to her, "Leonard, let me ask you something. What would you say to me, if I had a chance to leave for four months, because I had a movie role? What would you say to me if I kept saying I didn't have to take the role?"
Leonard didn't say anything, but his eyes looked down.
"That tells me all I need to know," she said sadly. "You're going and that' all there is too it. Now, no more talk about it."
"But..."
"No buts Leonard." Penny sounded frustrated, "An offer like this is what you've been working toward you whole life, right? So, no buts."
He forced a smiled toward her and nodded.
...
Penny had had all night and all day to think about Leonard leaving. She wasn't feeling any better about it, but at least for the last few hours, she had been busy at the bar, taking her mind off of it.
She was wiping down the spot on the bar where the three guys had just left, they had left a pretty decent tip, when Penny saw the two women enter the room, sitting at the end of the bar.
She walked over to them, and managed a smile saying, "Hi guys, how ya doing tonight?"
Watching Penny closely, Bernedatte and Amy both answered, "Fine."
"White or Red tonight,?" said Penny.
They both asked for white and while Penny poured, Amy spoke up. "So, bestie, how are you holding up?"
Penny acted nonchalant, "What do you mean, holding up?"
Bernadette said, "Don't play with us Penny, we both heard that Leonard is leaving. How are you doing?"
Penny waved her hand. "I'm fine," she lied, "we talked about it last night, everything is good." "Really?" said Amy. "Everything is fine?"
There was silence for a few seconds, but the expression on Penny face told them everything they needed to know.
"Come on Penny, talk to us," said Bernadette.
Penny's silence continued.
"Penny," said Amy, "we know you better than that. We saw you when you were Leonard was with Priya. So we know when you're depressed about something, so tell us what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."
Penny sighed. "OK, yeah, I'm not happy. I'm going to miss him. I don't know anything about this stuff, but working with Hawking? Even I know that is a big deal. I can't hold him back from something like this."
"So if you know," said Bernadette, "why aren't you telling him what you're feeling."
"Because I love him," said Penny. "You got me to understand what I was feeling and what it means. He needs this and if I tell him how I really feel, he's going to refuse to go-you know how he can be-and I can't have that happen. This is like me getting a role in a movie and I would have to leave for four months. I know he would feel bad, but he wouldn't stop me from going or say anything that would keep me here and he would tell me I have to go, because he loves me, and would know what it meant to me. So, I have to do the same for him."
"So what are you going to do?"
"That's easy, Amy," said Penny. "I'm going to continue to support him and tell him he needs to go. I just have to hide how I really feel, I can't risk him not going because of me."
"That could cause a lot of confusion in your brain," said Amy, "which will lead to stress. I can tell you from my studies that stress will cause mood swings. Do you really want to put yourself through that? Especially while Leonard is here?"
"What choice do I have?" said Penny sounding frustrated and sad. "Besides, I'm an actress, so I can do this." Seeing judgement in both their faces, she said, "Listen, both of you." She squinted, looking angry at both of them. "You are not to say anything to Leonard, do you understand me? I told you I'd use a bag of oranges on you once, I'm telling you again, understand?"
The other two women's eyes got wide and they both nodded.
Penny's face softened, "I'm sorry guys, I don't mean that. I'm not mad at you, just upset and I'm taking it out on you." She smiled, "Maybe it's one of those mood swings already, Amy."
"Don't worry Penny," said Bernadette. "We'll keep you company while he's gone. We can get together a couple of nights a wee..."
"Can we just not talk about it?" Penny interrupted. "Let me think about it for a few days and we can talk about it again."
Amy and Bernadette both nodded and Bernadette said, "Well, you want to hear the latest with Howard and his mother?"
Amy and Penny both giggled and said, "Yes."
...
Penny opened the door, walked in and closed it behind her. She saw the light in the kitchen was on and the bottle of wine sitting out. As she walked to the kitchen, she looked into the bedroom and saw Leonard asleep. She felt a wave of sadness wash over her, thinking about missing him.
She pulled the note off the bottle of wine and read it:
Hey you, here's your wine. I want to thank you so much for your understanding about my leaving for the summer. I love you and will miss you so much.
Love you
Leonard.
Tears started in her eyes, shaking her head, she pulled the cork out and poured a glass. She sat down, taking a long pull on the drink, thinking. I'm going to miss him so much. Funny how far I've come since the proposal last year. I was so upset with it, I was still upset last fall and didn't understand my feelings and thought about breaking up again. Now, I'm upset about the idea of being without him.
She took another drink and shook her head, I've got to get over this. He needs to go on this. It's important to his career and important to him personally, which means it's important to me. I have to support him. But, he's leaving in less than two weeks. This thought caused her to feel sad again. She finished up her glass and poured another glass, put the cork back in the bottle and then put the bottle in the refrigerator.
Moving to the table, she sat down and spent the next hour looking out over Pasadena and thinking about not having Leonard around for four months, her eyes repeatedly tearing up. Finally, deciding it was time for bed she finished her drink, washed her glass, and headed for her bedroom.
After undressing, she slid into the bed, pulling Leonard's arm around her tightly. Her thoughts about Leonard leaving kept her awake for hours. She remembered looking at her phone and seeing it was 4 AM, finally drifting off to sleep a bit later.
...
Thursday was a rough day for Penny. After taking so long to get to sleep, she didn't get up until almost eleven. She didn't even remember Leonard coming in and kissing her before he left, but she was thankful that he had turned the coffee on.
She spent the next two hours trying, and mostly failing, to accept the idea of Leonard leaving, crying off and on. She finished her third cup of coffee and then put together a salad for lunch. After lunch, her mind drifted back to Leonard leaving, again, bringing her to the edge of tears several times.
She finally pulled herself together enough to get ready for work and after her shower and getting dressed, she headed off. Before clocking in, she knocked on the office door, hoping to find Bruce and heard his voice say, "Come in."
She opened the door, and stood in the doorway. Bruce looked up and seeing Penny smiled, "How you doing Penny?"
She tried to talk to him, but choked up.
He was immediately concerned, "What's up, Penny."
"B-B-Bruce," she stuttered, "I need next Thursday and Friday off." Tears were filling her eyes.
"Penny, sit down and tell me what's going on," Bruce said.
Penny walked to the chair and sat down, Bruce could hear the sorrow in her voice, "Leonard is leaving..."
"Did he break up with you? Is he changing colleges?"
"NO, NO, NO," exclaimed Penny. "He is leaving for an expedition to the North Sea, he's got an offer to work with Steven Hawking."
Bruce's eyes went wide, "That guy in the wheelchair?"
"Yes, but he'll be leaving a week from Sunday, and he'll be gone for three to four months."
"Leonard is going to be working with Steven Hawking?" Bruce exclaimed.
"Yes," Penny sniffed, "but he'll be gone for almost FOUR months. Bruce, I won't see him for almost four months." Her eyes teared up again.
"It's OK, Penny," said Bruce softly, "if you need those days off, take them."
"Thank you so much Bruce," relief evident in her voice. "I want to spend as much time as I can with him, before he leaves."
"No problem Penny," Bruce said. "You'll be here the rest of the week, right?"
"Yeah, I will," said Penny, nodding. "Oh, and I can probably work a Saturday every so often, while he's gone."
"I'll remember that," said Bruce. "Go ahead, get to work, I'll talk to you later. For now, just assume you have next Thursday through Sunday off."
"Thanks, Bruce." Penny got up, and as she headed for the door, she heard Bruce, chuckle, "Man, I know someone who knows Steven Hawking." Penny smiled through her tears, as she closed the door.
As tired as she was, work was an absolute hell for Penny. She could feel her eyes closing on the drive home. By the time she got to the fourth floor, she was exhausted and emotionally down. She knew she had to be careful, it was on nights like this, tire and down, that she would start to panic about Leonard being in the bed.
She unlocked the door and entered the apartment, Why isn't the light on? she though with surprise. Getting her phone from her purse, she turned on the flashlight app, and used it to guide her as she walked toward the kitchen. She saw the wine and the note, It looks like Leonard left things as he normally does, but why no light? She got to the stove and flipped the switch a couple of times, nothing happened. Hmmmmm, the light must be burnt out. She walked to the sink, and turned on the light over it.
She looked at the note, it was a rather short one:
Just making sure the usual is waiting for you, love you. Remember, if you need me, just wake me up.
Leonard.
She smiled, he's so sweet, I'm going to miss him so much...she started choking up, and deciding she just wanted to sleep, she turned out the light and headed for bed, trying to get the picture of him leaving out of her mind. It took only a few minutes to get into bed, and due to how tired she was, only a few more to fall asleep.
...
She had gotten enough sleep that she had even heard Leonard get up Friday morning. She smiled, then rolled over and fell back asleep. She had woken up again when she heard the door to the apartment open, when Leonard came in to kiss her, and she surprised him when, after leaning over to kiss her, she pulled him down.
"Mrrrfffff," escaped Leonard's lips, as they kissed, and he almost fell on her.
"Wow, OK, you got me. What was that about?" he said, as he supported himself with one arm.
Penny giggled, "I was awake and I just wanted to thank you for your note and wine last night."
Leonard looked puzzled, "But, you didn't even drink anything last night."
"Yeah," Penny said avoiding looking at him, "I was tired, so I just came to bed."
"OK," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "well, you're welcome for my leaving out something you didn't even want."
"Leonard!" Penny said surprised.
He chuckled and lowered his head to gave her a quick kiss, then stood up. "Love you, have a good day."
Penny shook her head, "OK, yeah, goodbye, you. Love you."
Penny watched him turn and leave, and a few seconds later heard the door to the apartment close. She stretched and got up. After finishing in the bathroom, she walked out to the kitchen for her first cup of coffee, remembering she needed to change a light bulb.
...
As usual these days, Penny opened her locker at The Cheesecake Factory fifteen minutes before she had to clock in. She grinned and shook her head, Who would have ever thought I'd be coming in early. She hung her purse in the locker, pulled out her compact and touched up her makeup. She was feeling better today. She managed to get somewhat past the sadness of Leonard leaving. She closed the locker and turned, walking out to hostess to find out if the day had been busy. After talking with her for a few moments, she heard a familiar voice call out, "Penny?"
She spun and found herself looking at Jim. He was walking toward her with a big smile on his face. Penny was wondering what that meant and waved at him, "Hi, Jim. Where's Cheryl?"
"She's in getting ready, for work," he said. "I just want to talk to you for a second."
"OK, let's go to the bar."
They both walked to the bar area and as they both sat at one of the high tops, Penny said, "What's up?"
"I just want to thank you," he started. "I followed your advice, you know, check a time or two, but mostly just let her do what she's always done. She was always home when she's said she'd be, she continued to have someone else talk to me until last week and..."
"Wait, what happened last week?"
"Nothing," Jim assured her, "I told her it was fine if she just called. I didn't need her to have someone else talk to me. Of course, as I said, I checked a time or two, like you said, and she was right where she said she was. A couple of times, I started feeling...not angry...more sad and frustrated, but that was with myself, not with her. When I did have a problem, I talked to her about it. I'm feeling a lot better about the whole thing."
"So," asked Penny, "where does that leave you two?"
"Well, I'm not going to lie," said Jim. "I do have trust issues every now and then and it still will take a while for me to get through this. But, I don't have strong feelings of being upset with her and I feel I have a path to get past this. Mostly thanks to you."
"It's really not a problem..."
"I figured you'd say that, but it really means the world to me that you got me through it. I was pretty creepy at first and never thought I would be able to get patst it. It won't be tomorrow, or even next month, but I will make it. So, thanks."
Penny smiled at Jim, got off her stool, walked over to him and gave him a hug. Jim hugged her back, broke away smiling. "Thanks Penny."
"No problem, Jim." she said. "Remember, if you need me, you know where to find me."
"Yep, bye," said Jim as he walked off with a smile.
"Bye, Jim," said Penny waving at him.
...
For the rest of the night Penny would smile when a thought came on how she had helped Jim and Cheryl. Wondering why it took her so long to get to where she could help herself. As she climbed the stairs to the apartment, she was thinking about her own problems, problems that Jim had given her a partial answer for.
Penny opened her door, and smiled seeing the light on. She walked to the kitchen looking into her bedroom. On seeing Leonard, her chest tightened and tears stared in her eyes. Getting to the island, she pour a glass of wine and took a large drink. I'm going to miss him so much, I don't know if I can hide this. C'mon Penny, you're an actress, you can do this. Well, I always have the group.
Something was nagging at her, but she couldn't quite figure it out. How am I going to make it through four months? A couple of weeks ago, I couldn't even get by three days, even when I was afraid of him being here. I don't want him to go, it's so nice having him here, I can talk to him if I need to...
Suddenly, something clicked, Penny thought back to the last few nights. I never got panicky about him being here. I've never even thought of it. Well, coming up the stairs, last night, but I was just preparing myself. But, seeing Leonard didn't get me worried or panicky, like it has been for the last few weeks.
All I've thought of is not having him here. Can it be that I'm not afraid of him being here anymore? Or, is it because I'm more worried about him not being here, than having him here? Wow, I'm thinking about him, asleep in the bedroom, and there's nothing worrying me, except how much I'm going to miss him.
Penny took a sip of the wine. Four months, I won't have him for four months. I won't have him to hold, hug, kiss, love. This thought caused a deep feeling of sadness to run through her, and although she had made it through the day without tearing up, she almost started full on crying. I can't, he'll think I'm panicking. Control yourself Penny.
She took a deep breath, shaking her head, holding in the tears. I've got to get to bed. Finishing the wine, she put the glass in the sink, turned off the light and headed for the bedroom. Taking off her uniform and bra, she slid into the bed, pull Leonard's arm across her. She tried to fall asleep, but her thoughts kept going to Leonard leaving and being gone. It was, again, several hours before her brain slowed down enough to fall asleep.
Penny again woke up, but didn't feel Leonard next to her. She reached back, and not finding him, looked around. It was obvious that he wasn't in bed. Puzzled, she grabbed her phone looking at the time. 10:30? Dammit, I've overslept again.
She got out of bed, and went to the bathroom and when she finished there walked out of the bedroom, almost running into Leonard, who was sitting at the table, facing the window. He had a cup of coffee and was working on his computer.
"Why didn't you wake me?
Leonard chuckled, "Well, you were snoring, so I thought I could get some things done, while you slept. Go, get a cup."
Leonard pushed his computer to the side and waited for Penny to come back.
She sat down and asked, "What are you working on so early?"
"Finishing up analyzing the data from my experiment a couple of days ago," said Leonard.
"So, what have you been doing at work?" said Penny, taking a sip of her coffee.
"I've been shutting down the experiments and storing equipment," explained Leonard. "I'll have to move some stuff out and bring some home. There will be some people using my lab over the summer."
Penny felt her stomach turn over, remembering he was leaving. She managed to sound normal when she said, "So, what are we doing today?"
"Well," said Leonard with a grin, "I have to order some gear. I still have a lot from the North Pole trip a few years ago, but I needed some wet gear." Leonard continued lightly, "Afterwards, I thought we'd have lunch out, head to the farmers market, and go look at some yard sales today."
Penny was struggling to hold it together, "You don't like going to yard sales."
Leonard shrugged, "I know." He looked down, "I just want to spend time with you, with something you enjoy, so if I'm with you, it will be fine." He looked up, "We just have to be back by six. Everyone is coming over tonight for dinner."
It took great effort, but Penny forced a smile. All she could think about was she only had eight days, before he left. "OK, let me get a couple of cups of coffee in me and I'll run and get a shower, then we can go."
Leonard smiled back, "Sounds good." He reached for his laptop. "I'll finish up my work, and order my stuff while you're doing that." He leaned over and kissed her.
...
Raj was late getting to the apartment and he whispered into Howard's ear, in response to Amy's greeting. Howard answered Amy, mocking Raj by using an Indian accent. Leonard, noticing Raj didn't look happy, spoke to him, "There's beer in the fridge." He then addressed the group, "Anyway, you guys really don't need to make a big deal."
Sheldon said with exasperation, "Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper sendoff so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face."
Penny stood, reaching for the soy sauce. Looking at Sheldon, she smiled sweetly and in a soft voice said, "Sheldon, sweetie, shut up."
Bernadette said innocently, "You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left."
Penny froze. Leonard stopped chewing and looked up at Penny, she was looking at Bernadette with a "not here" look. She turned to him and he could see, not panic as expected, but worry. Penny looked back at Bernadette, Leonard following her gaze. She lowered the timbre of her voice and it had an edge to it, "Bernadette, sweetie, shut up."
Bernadette, realizing what she had done, looked nervous, looking down, which Leonard saw. Now he was thinking. What was that all about? Why is Penny worried, did she tell Bernadette about having to propose?
For the next few minutes, while Raj talked about the girl he met, Penny studiously kept from looking at Leonard. Finally she glanced at Leonard and could see him staring at her. She shook her head slightly, mouthing the word "later". Leonard ever so slightly bob his head, then turned to listen to Raj. Penny sighed. I'm going to have to explain this to him. At least I have a couple of hours to come up with something so it makes sense, she thought.
