Apologies for the late update - it's been a very busy past week. I do not think I can keep up the pace of a new updated chapter every day, and instead will settle into a far more comfortable three updates a week. (Barring annoying RL circumstances, of course.)


Tankards and Tempers

Chapter 49: Under one roof?

"So, this is the place..." Laska said as she and Rose arrived at a strange looking building, looking very chaotically built, as if it was composed of mixed building-styles. A small sign at the door said 'Python Café' in multi-colored letters.

"I dunno," Rose said. The two lovers had decided to have breakfast this morning at a new place, but even in the short fews days that it had been open, the Python Café had built up somewhat of a reputation. "Should we eat here? I've heard this place is weird."

"Oh, don't worry," Laska grinned as she opened the door to let Rose in. "What's the worst that could happen?"

The door gave access to a dark but strangely comical looking interior, which seemed to be much larger than what the building should have allowed. The place was packed, yet there was a calm atmosphere. Several tables were in use by a myriad of strange people, and humans wearing unusual clothes were flocked around the bar in the back of the room.

Laska and Rose approached the bar, and noticed the odd bartender. A 'woman', or more to the point, a man dressed as a woman, who was not intent on hiding he was, in fact, a man dressed up as a woman. (S)he turned to the couple as they approached and spoke in a fake high-pitched voice. "So, what'll it be then?"

"We'd like breakfast for two," Laska beamed.

"What's on the menu?" Rose asked, a little worried.

"Well," the not-so-female bartender responded, "there's egg and bacon. Egg, sausage and bacon. Egg and spam. Egg, bacon and spam. Egg, bacon, sausage and spam. Spam, bacon, sausage and spam. Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam. Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam. Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam. Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam..."

"That's... a lot of spam," Rose gulped.

"Hey, do you know your parrots are dead?" Laska said as she regarded an indoor aviary filled with blue parrots lying on the newspaper which covered the bottom.

"Oh, those are just Norwegian Blues," the not-so-female bartender replied. "Anyway, they're not dead, they're just resting."

"I think I know a dead bird when I see one," Laska muttered.

"Kinda makes you wonder where all that spam really comes from," Rose whispered.

"Or," the not-so-female bartender continued, "lobster thermador ecrovets with a bournaise sauce, served in the purple salmon or with chalots and overshies, garnished with truffle pate, brandy, a fried egg on top and spam."

"Have you got anything without spam?" Rose asked, looking and feeling a little queasy, while Laska glanced over her shoulder while a distinguished looking gentleman with a mustache who was walking in a peculiar fashion. The man suddenly extended his right leg forward, slammed it back down, crossed his legs and, took a few steps back, made a small jump forward and extended his right leg and threw it over the barstool just before sitting down.

"Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it," the bartender replied, looking a little miffed.

"I don't want any spam!" Rose all but shouted. "I didn't even eat spam when I was dead poor and lived in a rotting shed!"

"A rotting shed?" a wiry looking man sitting at the bar suddenly interrupted. "Why, you were lucky, you were. When I was a kid, me and my thirteen brothers and sisters lived in a hole in the ground covered with two planks!"

"You were lucky to have two planks!" Another man spoke up. "We were evicted from our hole in the ground. There were a hundred-fifty of us living in a shoe-box in the middle of the road."

At that moment, a much chagrined faux-female hot-dog salesman with a moustache walked by shouting: 'Albatros... ALBATROSS! Pelican-bon-bons! Seagull-sicle... ALLBBBAAATRRROSSS!"

"What's up with those guys?" Laska asked, pointing to a group of black armored knights sitting in the back of the room.

"Oh, those are just the Knights Who Say 'Ni!'," the bartender replied. "They come in here every night but never eat anything. They just want a shrubbery, and that's not on the menu. Well, shrubbery-and-spam is, but they don't like spam either..." she said, while Laska glanced at an odd painting of a house which was gobbling up people for some obscure reason.

"Could you do my egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam then?" A hungry Rose said, still trying to get herself a spamless dinner.

The not-so-female bartender crumpled her/his face in disgust. "Ech!"

"What do you mean 'ech'?!" Rose said, now getting a bit cross. "I don't like spam!"

"Errr, Rose?" Laska asked as she noticed a huge man sitting in the back of the room. Normally, that was not strange, but this enormously fat bloke had been eating for hours and now seemed to be... expanding rapidly.

"Oh, shit, it's mister Creosote," said one of the waiters.

"Look, could we just get the eggs and bacon?" Rose said, still negotiating with the bartender. But Laska quickly grabbed her by the arm and led her towards the door leading outside.

"Typical elves," a brown-suited man with a strange accent spoke. "All the kids are on drugs and the adults are on roller-skates."

"Say," the moustached man with the silly walk suddenly replied. "This is the silliest skit I've ever been in."

"What? This?" the brown-suited man responded. "Shall we end it, then?"

"Sure..." Silly Walk replied and both men got up and left.

Meanwhile, the fat bloke was near reaching critical mass, and just when Laska and Rose were about to escape, an old man suddenly jumped on front of the door. "HALT!" he shouted. "If thee wants to pass by me, you must first answer questions three!"

"Oh, bugger off!" Laska shouted and shoved the man outside. As the two lovers jumped through the door, they kept running until they had reached a small dry aqueduct and immediately dove into it. Back at the Python Café, a huge explosion could be heard, and an endless amount of food exploded from the Café's windows.

Elf and half-elf watched the spectacle for a moment, then looked at each other.

"Copper Coronet?" Rose asked.

"Copper Coronet," Laska confirmed.

"Laska," Rose asked as she found her lover staring at the sky. "Are you coming?"

"Just a minute," the tattooed elf replied. "For some reason, I am expecting a giant foot to slam down from the sky and crush us."


Thankfully, breakfast at the Copper Coronet proved to be a much calmer experience, and even though the food was of lesser quality, there was mercifully a severe lack of spam. During their meal, Laska told her all about her fight with Firkraag (including a healthy amount of hyperbole) and Rose told her she wanted to see the dragon trophy. Laska agreed, but on the way to Laska's mansion, Rose insisted to stop by her house to pick up some supplies. Art supplies as it was.

About half an hour later, Rose was putting her years of experience in her hobby of drawing and painting to work. The half-elf let her bit of charcoal fly over a sheet of canvas. After setting up her easel and laying out her paints in the back of Laska's house, the half-elf had been busy working on the dragon's head-turned-mantlepiece. She had working on a study of Firkraag's head, and now it was time for Laska to enter the picture.

"So where do you want me?" Laska said as she entered the room and started to unlace her vest.

"Whoa!" Rose smiled. "I like the way you think, but this is not a nude painting!"

"Oh," Laska said, sounding vaguely disappointed.

"I want to paint you in a victory pose over the dead dragon," the half-elf smiled.

"If you wanted me to be in armor, you should have said so," the tattooed elf said, returning the smile. "I've gave it to Viconia to have it repaired while she's being measured for her new set of armor."

"Oh, no!" Rose chuckled. "I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of seeing your magnificent body, so what you're wearing now is just fine..." she said, referring to her lover's casual wear: black pants with a vest which was open in the front and was kept together by a set of laces.

"Question," Laska put her finger to her lip. "The dragon's head is on the wall. How can I stand over it in a victory pose?"

Rose winked. "Imagination, silly. I pick a pose for you and then paint in the dragon's head. Trust me, I've done this before."

"Any specific way you want me to stand?" Laska asked.

"Well, if you put your right leg on that ottoman, I can make it look in the picture like you're triumphantly supporting it on the head of the dragon you've just slain," she pointed out. "Now, hold Ipsiya in your right hand and point her towards the ottoman."

"Ready, Ip?" Laska asked. Ipsiya did not respond, but glowed an angry blue. The sentient blade was still not speaking to her wielder because she had said earlier that it could not be in the painting if she kept nagging about it. Apparently, the vain sword, aside from being very insulted, probably didn't want to risk losing her chance to be immortalized.

"Okay, now suck in that gut and straighten your back, Missy!" Rose smiled, her blue eyes shining with gentle humor.

"Gut?" Laska gasped, not catching on to the joke and only calming down when she realized elves simply didn't get fat. Nodding, Laska smiled and regarded Rose. The half-elf was especially radiant this day. She was slightly shorter than Laska, but there was always a spring in her step wherever she went. On top of her head was a long mane of strawberry-blonde hair, which almost completely obscured her little, but gracefully tipped ears. Unlike Laska, Rose had a certain affinity for dresses. This day, she was wearing a lovely orange top matched with a slightly redder skirt. She held her charcoal like a true lady as she moved it across the canvas.

First, she would use charcoal to outline the picture. After which, she would fill in the outlines with paint. The backdrop would be filled in last. By the look of it, the picture would be reasonably huge, five feet high and four feet wide.

"Every estate needs a painting of the owner, hm?" Rose smiled. "I'm just making sure that tradition is upheld..."

"Speaking of my estate," Laska said, once again gathering all her courage. Five times she had tried to ask Rose to move in with her, but she always managed to chicken out at the last moment. She found herself thinking that she would rather face a thousand orcs armed with nothing more than a toothpick for a weapon than to be asking this question. "I... You like living in your house?" Laska said, again chickening out.

"Well, yes and no..." Rose sighed. "It's the first house I've ever owned and paid for by myself, but... half of it was used to sell my body. So yeah, my house has a mix of good and of bad memories attached to it. Still, it's all mine, I guess."

"Howwouldyouliketomoveinwithm e?Theresplentyofroomandspacean dyoudliveherewithmeandIllgut everyonewhotreatyoubadlysopl easemoveinwithmeanditsfunbec auseyoulllikelivingherewithm yfriendsandwedbetogethermore and..." Laska said, but interrupted herself as she felt her lungs screaming for air. Horrified now that the question was in the open, the tattooed elf waited for Rose's answer.

Rose put down her charcoal, her smile warm, her eyes watery.


Viconia slammed the door shut as she entered her house. Her first stop was at the mailbox which Laska, as usual, had ignored. She sifted through the collection of advertisements, religious leaflets and the occasional catalogue. Finding nothing interesting, she tossed the contents of the mailbox into the bin and strolled into her house.

She had just had a rather amusing experience. Because Cromwell had been too busy to take the measurements himself, he had asked his newest human apprentice, a young boy of nineteen, to take the measurements in his stead. Of course, the boy had enjoyed this job a little more than he should have. As Viconia, dressed in her leather clothes which she normally wore under her plate mail, raised her arms, she noticed the boy had spent a lot more time with the measuring-ribbon around her hip and chest-area, and more than once, his hands had 'slipped'.

While she thought this was rather amusing, when the drow had been asked to remove all the clothing from her upper body to 'get better measurements', she had decided to administer a minor torture she had picked up in the Underdark; she captured the boy's nose in a vice-like grip between index and middle-finger, and slammed her hand away with her other fist. The boy had been no more trouble after that, and her new armor, a luxurious and artfully designed Red Dragon Plate, would be ready within four days.

Tossing Laska's newly repaired armor on the couch in the main room of the house, she stepped to the back of the room, where she noticed something odd. "Lasalla will not enjoy this," Viconia muttered as she noticed a trail of smudged paint on the floor, which seemed to be leading through the kitchen towards the back door. While stepping into the garden, the Drow noticing the trail ended in the center of the grass lawn. Rose and Laska were not there at the moment, however. Instead, the two of them were sitting on a wooden love seat near the pond, where Laska was removing quite some paint from her body with paint-thinner.

"I don't even want to know," Viconia sighed at the couple and headed back inside.


That very same day, Laska had arranged for a horse and wagon to fetch Rose's belonging from her house on the Bridge, as well as swindling Korgan and Jan to help with the moving. As it turned out, however, Jan and Korgan didn't have much to do. There weren't many things Rose would be bringing along – Rose had little furniture and most of what she had, Laska's mansion had in greater supply. All in all, Rose had decided to only bring two pieces of furniture with her; a dresser which had once been owned by her mother and a large wooden trunk. Otherwise, there were her books, her clothes, some statuettes, her paint supplies and her artworks to load onto the cart.

While Korgan and Jan were struggling with the trunk, Laska stepped inside the one half of the Rose's house she had never been; that part of the house which she had used to receive customers. Immediately, Laska was overcome with the sheer tackiness of the room; the walls were painted red and several red-tinted oil-lamps, now long extinguished, lined the wall. A large bed was the center of the room, surrounded by tacky statuettes and some ugly paintings depicting erotic imagery. Since Rose had left her days as a prostitute behind her, the collection of barrels stacked in the room was a clue that she had been using it as extra storage for the Mithrest.

"Rosie?" Laska asked. "Bringing anything from here?"

Rose snorted. "Hell, no," she chuckled. "I think most of this stuff is going in the bin."

"Hm," Laska bit her lip as she picked up a riding crop and swooshed it through the air. "I dunno. I vote we bring this thing with us."

"Heh, that's the only thing, then?" Rose said as she looked away.

"Having second thoughts?" Laska asked.

"No, no," Rose replied as the elf hugged her from behind. "It's just... I've been living here for almost a decade. This was my house, paid up in full. It'll just be weird living somewhere else."

"Are you going to sell it?"

"Nah," Rose said. "Don't really need too. I think I'll use the other half of this house for storage too. One thing I won't miss is the one tiny window I have."

"Yep. Big windows, lotsa light, lotsa room, fireplace, good kitchen, big living room and a big bed to do sexy things in," Laska grinned.

"Shall we go?" Rose smiled.

The trip to the house in the temple district was uneventful and the unloading of Rose's belongings followed swiftly. A few small statuettes were added to household collection of arts, and her books were added the house's not-so-frequently used library. Rose's dresser was carefully placed in the bedroom she would now be sharing with Laska. Also, there were several wrapped packages, however, that Korgan and Jan were extra careful with.

"Brilliant," Viconia said as she feasted her eyes on some examples of the paintings in the first package, which had been delivered earlier. "Rose, your work is excellent. I can sense your anger from the very canvas and your color schemes are very well-balanced."

"Errrm," Rose blushed, not being used to praise. "Thank you... Thank you very much..."

"What do you call this piece?" Viconia asked as she tilted the painting towards the light.

"Oh, nothing fancy, just 'Lord Agrim lying in the gutter with his throat slit, slowly dying as he bleeds out his life.'," Rose grinned, "It's a fantasy-piece. In those times, Agrim was a regular customer with... loose hands."

"And this one?" Viconia smiled as she took out another painting, again filled with dark paints all over the canvas, a spectacle of grim, swirly colors.

"Fluffy bunny in meadow," Rose replied.

The third painting was more colorful and cheerful, it was a truthful and realistic depiction of a lovely human woman wearing lovely clothes and a ready smile. On her hand was a tiny half-elven girl, who had the same strawberry blonde hair as her mother and skipped alongside her.

"The title is 'mother'," Rose said, sadness creeping into her voice.

"I don't give praise often, Rose," Viconia replied, "but you have real talent. These should be in a gallery..." the drow replied with sincerity. In the background, Minsc was laying out the paintings on the table while Dynaheir was moving her hands in arcane gestures. Instantly, magical fields briefly appeared over the canvasses before blinking out of visibility again.

"What's Dynaheir doing?" Rose asked.

"Oh, don't worry," Viconia smiled. "Things tend to start flying and get destroyed here more often than you might think. I've gone through hellish measures to protect the precious little culture in this household earlier, but now that Dynaheir has returned to us, she has been casting protection-spells over all these precious works, your paintings too now. Not even a firestorm followed by a stampede of elephants could harm these works of art after the spell has been cast."

"Thank you," Rose replied. "My paintings are very important to me."

"Where do you," Laska grunted as she was supporting a huge wooden trunk on her back, "want this thing?"

"Oh, doesn't matter," Rose smiled. "How about the attic?"

"Bloody hell," Laska sighed as she slowly stepped towards the staircase, "What's in here? Rocks?"

"Yes," Rose replied.

"Huh?" Laska exclaimed.

"I used to collect rocks."

"Figures," the elf replied and began dragging the trunk upstairs.

In the background, Risa, Becky and Jaella were giggling softly, excited about a new friend moving into their big house.


"Yo, wake up!" sounded the voice of the tiny half-elven girl Risa. "It's nine o'clock, breakfast is on and everybody is waiting for you!"

Laska forced her eyes open and stirred. Noticing her lover's movement, Rose stirred as well and snaked her arm around Laska's waist, keeping the elf from getting up. In her groggy mood, the half-elf inched closer to her elven lover and gently kissed the back of her neck. Then, she opened her eyes... and noticed that there was a little girl watching them.

Forcing herself out of her haze, Rose quickly pulled the blankets over their bodies. "We, err, we..."

"Emmm, Rose is," Laska finished, "afraid of the dark, so she didn't want to sleep alone."

"But," Risa said, looking confused, "we half-elves see so very good in the dark."

"She meant burglars," Rose said quickly, "I'm afraid of burglars."

"Burglars?" Risa said, then smiled. "That makes sense, and I'm sure Laska will break their necks for you. Becky and I just thought you guys were having sex in here but I guess we were wrong," the girl winked and sped out the door.

"Out of the mouth of babes," Rose giggled.

"Yeah," Laska smiled. "Come on, breakfast is on."

So far, things were going well on Rose's first day in her new home. At the moment, she was the center of attention. Rose sat next to Laska at the large table in the center-room of the first floor of the house. As this group preferred communal dining, Viconia, Korgan, Jan, Minsc and Dynaheir were also sitting at the table, as were Risa, Becky, Lasalla, Jaella and Lissa. Khittix, as usual, was scurrying around the table, going from person to person to try to swindle some food from them, mostly hanging around the kids since they tended to give the most. At the moment, Jan was just finishing off his latest masterpiece.

"... it was the most I ever threw up in all my life, and I never was more proud..." Jan said proudly. "Flooded half the city, I did. Mostly all the places with noble villas."

"Hah," Rose chuckled with the others. "As long as we're sharing, I've got a story for you all too."

"Oh?" Jan smiled. "Do tell."

"Well, it happened some years back when my old neighbor was one of the first settlers in Maztica," the half-elf smiled, the three kids already hanging on her every word. "Forty years ago, he had sold his house, his business and moved to the New World to try to find his fortune. After buying land and doing some farming for a month, he came across a schooled native, who told him the story of El'Chupanebray, the cursed diamond."

"Oooohh," Minsc said. "Tell me if this is a scary story. Boo's whiskers tremble so."

"Don't worry," Rose smiled, "Anyway I'm really talking big treasure here. A diamond as big as a small pumpkin!"

"Aye," Korgan said, his gold-lusty eyes betraying his most vivid daydreams. "Just be thinkin' what I can be doin' with that diamond."

"Keep it clean, Korgan," Viconia smirked. "There are children in the room."

"So, he traveled to this village and found that the natives were worshiping the diamond as a god," Rose said with a undertone of doom. "Anyway, at night, he sneaked out of his hut, stalks towards the temple, knocked out both guards, stole the diamond and rode back to port non-stop. Having made his fortune, he immediately boarded a ship back to Athkatla to enjoy his retirement. But, just before the ship sailed out of the bay, he saw the same native who told him about the cursed diamond, standing on a big rock sticking out of the ocean. 'DEATH!' the native shouted. 'the diamond will bring ye DEATH!'

After this final chilling performance, the entire room had fallen silent. All eyes were on the smiling half-elf, waiting for her to finish the story.

"And... did he die?" Risa dared to ask, breaking the wall of silence.

"Yes, he died..." Rose replied calmly. "Last week. He was ninety-three."

"HAR HAR HAR!" Korgan replied, his belly-laugh drowning out the snickers and giggles. "A fine tale, well told!"

"Well done, Missy," Jan chuckled. "Your tale could have used a reference to family member, and there was no mention of a turnip, but you have the makings of a great talespinner."

"Though I'd find it wise to let sleeping cursed diamonds lie," Viconia added, "this only goes to show that magic is not infallible."

"Thanks," Rose smiled and took a bite from her sandwich. "Say," she asked after slightly chewing the bread. "What kind of meat is on this. It's so tender and supple."

"It's dragon," Laska said.

"What?"

"Dragon," the elf continued. "I had shoved the whole beast into my Bag of Holding and Lasalla thought it was a waste of fine meat if we were only to use the head and the scales, so..."

"I made a deal with the local butcher," Lasalla, Laska's trusty maid replied, "I took the dragon to his warehouse where he carved it up and salted the meat. As payment, he kept a third of the meat while the rest is in cold-storage in our basement."

Rose snorted. "Head on the wall, scales at the blacksmith and meat at the butcher. Firkraag wasn't spared any indignity."

"It's great on toast, great as a roast, lovely when marinated in butter, and it makes wonderful barbecue-meat," Dynaheir said. "I... had dragonmeat before," Dynaheir added as all eyes turned towards her.

"Anyway," Rose said, getting up from the table. "I gotta go change. I have to go to to the Mithrest soon."

"Oh, come on," Laska prodded as she lounged in her chair. "Stay home for a bit. I still haven't shown you all the rooms..." she added while the kids and Dynaheir were cleaning the table to do the dishes, while the others went to their business of the day.

"Sorry, Laska," Rose smiled, "but I have to go. I'm the one in this relationship with the steady income, after all..."

"What?!" Laska replied, her eyes smiling, "I've just brought in over eight thousand gold to his household!"

Viconia scraped her throat and raised her hand. "Ahum," she started. "We talked about this, Laska. After all subtractions, we are still two thousand gold in the hole. And this is after having sold our excess loot to Ribald."

Laska grunted heavily. "Bollocks. I guess we'll have to look for work again."

"Oh, I was only joking," the half-elf smiled back. "But I do have an inn to run and a bar to tend."

"Okay, then," Laska nodded. "Time for this elf to get her morning-dip, though," she grinned and hopped towards the stairs. Rose grimaced for a moment and disappeared into the bedroom to gather her clothes for work. Deciding not to run out, but to stay to face the music, she stood below the stairs, waiting for the elf to return.

Laska, now wearing her bathrobe and not having dried herself yet, stepped down the staircase while dripping water over the woof and stone. "Rose," Laska asked in a curious tone of voice, "why are there a dozen fish swimming around in my pool?"

"Wellll," the half-elf began, "I, uhh, well... The aqua-wall in the back of the Inn isn't ready yet, and the man selling these tropical fish brought them by last week. I've had them swimming around in a bucket in my house, but I had to bring them with me..."

"Next time please tell me," Laska chuckled. "They kept nibbling on my toes."

Rose said nothing but pecked Laska on the cheek. "See you, tonight... I've got the long shift today."


Evening had fallen, and Rose was still not home. She had missed lunch, dinner, two small fires, an enraged drow chasing the gnome whom had stolen one of her boots, a dwarf who accidentally threw his axe in the ceiling and was desperately trying to get it back, two swords screaming at each other, kids playing hide-and-seek with a spider and Boo running through the hallways trying to escape from a rat which, in turn, was being chased by an enraged Rashemi ranger brandishing a giant fly-swatter.

All in all, it had been a busy day. Laska, in the meantime, had decided to go to bed early tonight. She hadn't been getting much sleep after the defeat of Firkraag and the images sent into her mind by the sensory-stone. Glancing out of the window, she noticed it had started to rain.

Only a few minutes later, the door to the bedroom was opened slightly. Rose, completely drenched, entered the room. "Sorry," she whispered at her lover. "A very long day... Brianna took a sickday, so I had to take her shift too. And, of course, it starts raining as soon as I'm out the front door," she said as she removed her wet clothes and ran a towel through her hair. Taking no more time, she laid her clothes to dry over a chair and quickly slid into bed. Cuddling up to her lover, she let loose a sigh of comfort. "So tired..." Rose muttered while Laska inched a bit closer to the half-elf herself.

"I love you," Rose muttered... a statement which sent Laska wide awake.

'Oh, gods... This is it,' Laska thought horrified. 'I never said I love you before and I sure as hell haven't returned an I love you either. Oh, gods, oh gods, oh, gods... Major commitment head... Am I ready for this? Really ready for this? Oh, gods... oh gods... I'd better say something, she's waiting for it...'

"I..." Laska started, but noticed Rose had already fallen asleep. Sighing with relief, Laska closed her eyes, the inevitable being postponed for another day. Thankfully, sleep would claim her for a few hours.

Feeling this night was exceptionally cold, a groggy Laska grasped for her blanket, but was unable to find anything. She soon found out why. Rose had apparently stolen all the sheets and blankets in her sleep and lay in a fetal position with the linen wrapped tightly around her body, leaving not an inch for Laska to cover her nude form with.

Pulling on the blanket did not work. Instead, the sleeping half-elf groaned in protest and wrapped the blankets even tighter over her body. "You never did that at your old house," Laska muttered in frustration.

Instead, she decided to leave Rose to her sleep and slipped from her bed. Tossing on her pants and vest, and pulling on the laces while she silently opened the door, she slipped into the main room of her dark home. On bare feet, she entered the kitchen and looked around for some spare food. As usual, Lasalla had been very thorough and no scraps were left. Instead, Laska made her way to her giant keg of ale and poured a tankard. Slamming the tankard down the hatch, she tapped an ale again... and another one after that one.

"Late night drinking binge?" Jan asked. Of course, Laska had already heard him approach, but she decided to let him do the talking.

"Yeah," Laska replied, taking a sip from her ale. "Rose stole all the blankets... Say, Jan," the elf continued, deciding to ask about the touchy subject of commitment, "how do you... you know..."

"Oh, I know," Jan said. "It's tough to grow good turnips in a clay soil. I'll give you some tips if you'd like. You say, you've got to wrap the seeds in some elephant dung and..."

"Err, no," Laska said, "I meant... Well, you know..."

"What?" Jan said. "Didn't your father explain this to you when you were a teenager. Okay, here we go. When a boy and a girl like each other, I mean really like each other, they go sit in the back of a cart and..."

"NO!" Laska responded sharply.

"What that cart's a-rockin', don't come a'knockin'..."

"NO! I mean... you know!"

"Ah, commitment!" Jan finally said. "A very touchy subject."

"Anything to say on the matter?" Laska sighed.

"Well, you know us Jansens don't like to discuss our own family..."

"Of course..."

"... but I've had some experiences with it myself. You see, Lasky, you and I are quite alike, both free spirits from birth. I just like turnips more than you do, and you're a lot taller than me. And you're and elf... and you're a girl... and you're younger than me... and you have pointy ears... and you have more hair than I do, but other than that, we're completely alike," Jan stressed. "Free spirits, living by our wits and graces, alone on the world! And then comes along that one person that sets your heart on fire. After so long of being alone, it can be damn hard to get into a solid relationship."

"Tell me about it," Laska sighed. "I really want to, though..."

"Hey, I've got a bit of news for you," Jan grinned. "Ready? Brace yourself! Lissa and I are getting married!"

"What?! Wow! When?! How?!" Laska exclaimed with a smile.

"You're the first to know," he said, "but I'll be moving out soon. Back to her mansion. Now that Vaelag is dead, there's nothing stopping us. She wants me and my family to help her run her business now it's going legit... Well, semi-legit, really," Jan grinned. "It'll be a subsidiary of JansenCorp Technologies."

"So," Laska sighed, "You'll be leaving the house? And our party? I'll be sad to see you go."

"House yes," Jan replied, "party no... I still have plenty of adventure in me to last me for a while before I retire and raise some fine turnips. Besides Lissa's house is just down the road, so no biggie there. But the point is, if I can do this commitment-thingy after two centuries of free spirited living, so can you."

"I see," Laska muttered. "Thanks, Jan."

"Besides, living together lets you really get to know each other over time," Jan said. "When my uncle married my aunt, he found out my aunt was actually a griffin. Quite a surprise mind you. She had a very small beak and reasonably blunt claws, so it worked out fine. Twenty years of happy marriage and twelve kids later, tragedy stuck when uncle Albert couldn't bring food on the table on time. We DID warn him about getting his wife peckish, but he never listened..."

"I think I need another ale," the elf chuckled


When Laska woke up the next morning she found Rose missing from the bed. A brief investigation fielded a note pinned to the door, asking Laska to come to the place where she was now standing: the graveyard.

Though she had been here before, it looked so serene in the morning sun. A few birds could be heard tweeting, there was no wind, and the sky was clear blue. After strolling around for a bit, she came across Rose, kneeling in front of a grave. The grave lay in a green patch under the shade of a beautiful Elm tree. Rose had put a bouquet of flowers in front of a simple headstone which read: Theresa Greenhill, beloved mother.

"Sometimes I talk to my mother... Quite often really," Rose whispered to her lover, now standing next to her. "Do you find that... strange?"

"No," the elf replied softly. "In fact, there's a lot of things I'd like to say to Gorion but I never had the chance."

"You really should one day," Rose sniffed. "H... hi, mom. It's been a while since I visited you...I... I'm doing better now. I stopped selling myself... I run an inn now... A respectable inn, I can take care of myself now. I've... new friends... a good home and, this is Laska... You'd have to meet her her. My life has gotten so much better since my last visit..." the half-elf sobbed.

Laska sat down next to her and put her arm around Rose's shoulders. "I love you," the elf finally said. Together, the two lovers sat at the grave for a few more moments.