Gene sat up for hours watching television and drinking, lighting fag after fag. How could he do it again? What if she never remembered? Could he go through it all over again?
Yes. He knew he'd wait as long as it took, knowing it might never happen again. After all, he still had the bloody ring in his pocket.
Finishing the bottle of wine he'd started at dinner, he moved on to whisky. When he was still conscious at the closedown, he searched through the few videos they owned, they were all his anyway, and settled on The Magnificent Seven. He passed out minutes after it started.
--
Alex slept soundly for a few hours, waking near 1am. Unable to fall back to sleep, she tossed and turned for a while before turning on the light. She'd fallen asleep so quickly earlier that she hadn't noticed it then, but now she noticed a familiar smell on her pillow. Pulling it closer, she closed her eyes and inhaled as dozens of unidentifiable images raced through her mind, making her dizzy. She put the pillow down and stared at it.
Hearing noises from the other room she ventured outside. Maybe Gene would still be awake. She suddenly didn't want to be alone.
She found him slumped over on the sofa, empty bottles on the table suggesting he wouldn't be easily woken, so she sat down and watched the rest of the film. He never moved, but he did snore loudly.
Alex watched Gene as much as the movie, trying to make sense of what was happening. She felt so raw. She was still reeling from her parents' deaths, but it had happened so long ago. Had she moved on, decided not to wait any longer? Had she stopped trying to find a way back? She couldn't think so. Maybe something had happened, something that made her change her behaviour. Maybe when she regained her memories here she'd understand what that was.
But – living with Gene? Alone, when no one was around, she'd been willing to admit to herself she found him attractive. Maybe that's what happened. She'd been desperate enough she finally took him up on what had seemed to her like an open offer. At least she had the medical barrier to having sex with him now. That would last a few weeks, six at most, she had to imagine. She didn't know what she'd do then.
But that didn't explain the rest. That they were still together was unfathomable to her. But they were very much together from what Shaz had told her. At some point she would need him to tell her more. Maybe it would help her remember. She just wasn't sure when she'd be ready to hear about how she fell in love with Gene Hunt as told by Gene Hunt.
The film ended and she turned off the TV, turning to go back to bed. After two steps she turned around, walking back to the sofa and the sleeping man snoring on it. Gingerly she leaned over him and sniffed. Nope. Just whisky. And cigarettes.
--
When she woke in the morning Gene was awake and making breakfast. Noticing him glancing repeatedly at her chest, she pulled her dressing gown around her tighter and sat at the breakfast table.
"Coffee?" he asked, eyes moving to her face.
"Yes, thank you. You make coffee?"
"I do now. You seem to prefer coffee in the morning. God knows why." He poured her a cup. "Would you like an egg or just toast?"
Alex looked confused. "Do you always make breakfast?"
"Sometimes. When I'm up before you. You eat one slice of toast and sometimes a fried egg to go with it." He turned back to the stove.
This was odd, but she was starving. "I'll have the egg, please. Thanks. Could you boil it, though?"
Alex watched as Gene finished cooking. He'd changed his clothes and he was wearing jogging pants and an old Manchester City shirt. She realized he must have come into the bedroom while she was sleeping to change his clothes and she stared at the table.
Small talk. "Um, are you going to the station today?"
He shook his head. "No. Was worried to leave you alone your first day home. Is that OK?"
"It's OK." She didn't really know if she wanted him here or if she wanted to be alone. Medically it probably made sense for him to be here. She could always hide in the bedroom.
After he finished cooking Gene sat at the table with Alex, digging into his food. They ate in silence, alternately staring at each other when the other looked away.
Alex couldn't bear it. "So, um, what else has happened that I can't remember?"
Gene looked up. "What d'you mean?"
"The team. What's happened?"
"Well, I try not to pay attention when they talk," Alex smiled a little. "But lots has happened. We've 'ad a lot of big drugs cases in the past few months. Seems to just be getting' worse, that problem. Lost DC Lewis in a gunfight with one of the dealers." Gene pushed his food around on his plate.
"My God!"
"Yeah." He put down his fork. "That one got me into trouble. Beat the little shitehole who killed him to a bloody pulp. Suspended for a week."
"Gene!"
"Yeah. That's when I moved us up 'ere." He looked around the kitchen.
"What do you mean? We didn't talk about it first?" That would be just like him.
"No, we did talk about it. We were looking to buy a house, but we couldn't agree on anything. No surprise there" he glanced at her.
"A house? We were going to buy a house?"
"Notion seems to have gone by the wayside a bit." He shrugged. "We've been busy."
Alex sat back, shocked. Buying a house together? Had she actually decided to stay trapped in her mind? In this world? "We haven't got married too have we? You're not just waiting for the right time to break it to me?"
Gene stared at her steadily. The tone in her voice left no doubt that that was the most ridiculous thing she could think of. He tried to remember that she'd lost the last ten months.
"No, Alex. We haven't got married."
Alex sat silent, unnerved by the look on his face. Not for the first time, she was sure she couldn't go on like she was. Breaking away from his gaze, she started to clear the table. Gene grabbed her wrist gently.
"I'll do that." He held on as she gently slipped out of his grasp. "You go on, watch some telly."
--
Gene finished the clean up, asking her to make a shopping list while he took a shower. He offered to go out for a bit and do the shopping, seeing as they didn't have much in the flat at the moment.
"Do you do the shopping often?" Alex couldn't help but smile at the thought of it.
He scowled. "Never. 'Ave you got the list?"
Alex looked at him and frowned. "You don't own jeans."
"You made me buy them. And this bloody shirt." He tugged at it. It was charcoal grey linen. She tried not to look at his arse.
"List. Yes." She stood up and handed it to him. He leaned closer as she did, catching her hand with his as she held it out.
Alex stared at him. The smell. It was him. Images she couldn't identify began flashing through her mind. She couldn't work out why she hadn't noticed it before. Too many competing smells in the hospital.
"Are you OK?" She saw the expression on his face turn to concern as she felt herself sway. Gene caught her, depositing her gently on the sofa. He was so close now, his scent was overwhelming.
"Just dizzy." She stared at him. It was him. The smell, it was him. A combination of soap and the underlying cigarettes mixed with something else. Something she couldn't identify. Probably just him. Maybe the images in her head were him too. If only she could make them out.
"Are you sure? I don't have to go. We can get take away every day until you feel better."
"No. Please." She needed him to leave. "It's just, sometimes, it's so overwhelming. All of this."
He nodded at her. "OK. But tell me if you need anything. Please." For a moment he looked helpless. If she hadn't found it all so confusing...
"I'll be fine. Do the shopping. Maybe I'll even make dinner."
He chuckled just a little. "Now is not the time to be learning new skills."
Smiling tightly, she watched him out the door.
--
After Gene left Alex showered and tried to wash her hair. She wasn't supposed to immerse her head and her hair had begun to drive her mad, and it had begun to itch. She did the best she could, but resolved to get her hair cut as soon as she could venture out of the flat for more than fifteen minutes. Maybe Gene could drive her somewhere when he took her to her appointments.
Once she was dressed she slowly walked through the flat looking at everything, touching everything, hoping something would seem familiar, jog her memory. Occasionally, she'd think she saw something moving out of the corner of her eye. She idly thought it could be her memory, hiding behind a corner until it was ready to come out. She hoped it were soon.
In the bedroom she opened the drawer in the bedside table to discover handcuffs and a very used tube of lubricant. She slammed the drawer. Shit, Alex, don't think about it.
She recognized her things, but nothing brought back memories of Gene, or of the months she'd lost. Not specifically, anyway. She tried to read a book. But she couldn't really concentrate on the words yet. The doctor had told her it might be a week or so before she could read comfortably anyway.
So she sat, waiting for Gene to return, unsure of whether in anticipation or trepidation.
--
Gene drove around for an hour before he went shopping. For one thing he hated doing it, and for another Alex was clearly so uncomfortable with him in the flat that he wanted to give her a little room. It didn't help that he wanted to pull her face to his, kiss her for an hour and not let go. She barely let him touch her.
He was almost sure that she hated him. He tried to think back to November 1981. After the Price's had died Alex had been drunk for two weeks, barely coming in to work and when she did bother to show up she'd been useless. He'd had to haul her home to her flat one night and lecture her about her behaviour. She'd scowled and spat and shouted back at him, but after that things had got better between them. At least he'd thought they had.
Then he fell in love with her and everything got complicated.
Suddenly it was more than just wanting to grab her tits, shag her silly and go home. He'd never have admitted it at the time, but he'd suddenly needed her with him every minute, needed to know what she thought about every case. Evenings, at the bar, he'd done everything he could to keep here there all night, he didn't want her to leave him to stumble home alone.
He even thought he'd managed to hide it pretty well, but he knew enough to know most blokes were lost when it came to women. As he got older he also knew that no matter what he pretended, he was no different.
When she finally invited him up to her flat that night it had terrified him. He'd managed to hold onto his bravado for a while, but within days he'd known he was done for. Now it was all going to shit and it was going to do him in.
Could she fall in love with him again? Would it be the same? He slammed the Quattro to a stop in front of the shop.
--
Alex started dinner, and Gene tried to help, but every time he got near her she'd get dizzy. She couldn't believe it was him, that it was his scent on the pillow that made her see things. Not see things exactly, but feel like there was something going on that she couldn't see. Something hiding behind her that she was missing. But it couldn't be him. She remembered what Gene smelled like. She had noticed that. Before. This wasn't it.
Steadying herself on the counter, she leaned closer to Gene, inhaling as he stood cutting chicken into pieces at her direction.
"Wot are you doing?" He'd stopped cutting and was staring at her.
"What?" She shook her head, trying to shake away her senses. "Nothing. Nothing. It's only that – why aren't you wearing after-shave?"
"Wot?" He looked confused. "I don't wear after shave."
"You do. You wear aftershave. Some awful dated thing that makes me gag."
Gene rolled his eyes. "That explains it."
"Explains what?"
"I don't wear aftershave because when we took up together you told me you liked the way I smelled better without it. So I stopped wearin' it. You even bought me some poncey electric shaver, that I hate, to use instead of the safety."
"I bought you a...shaver?" She felt dizzy again. She remembered that. Buying an electric razor. The image flashed through her mind.
"Alex, are you OK?"
"Yes. I'm OK." She needed him to leave the room. Suddenly the scent of him was overwhelming. "Could you, um, could you go and set the table?"
"Are you sure?" He tried to steady her but she backed away, pushed him away.
"Yes. I'll be OK. I'll finish up in here."
Gene frowned, but pulled some plates out of the cabinet as she asked and left the kitchen.
Alex sat at the small breakfast table, resting her head in her hands. The sensation was unnerving. It felt as if there were something behind her, something she couldn't see, and it got worse whenever she was near Gene. It wasn't unusual, she knew, for smells to evoke memories. She just wasn't sure she could take very much of it. She was sure that if it went on for weeks she'd go mad.
--
"Need any 'elp?"
Gene stood in the doorway. Alex had gathered herself and finished cooking and the smells of the cooking food masked his. She'd used extra garlic to help the process along, and now it filled the kitchen.
"Sure, OK." She handed him a bowl of rice, which he took with a frown. "Rice?"
Forcing a smile, she picked up a plate of food and followed him. "Yes. And chicken with courgette and garlic."
"Should've paid more attention to what you were doing in there."
"You don't like it?" Alex set the chicken and vegetables on the table and took her seat.
Gene made a face. "I don't know. Try anything, I suppose."
Gene glanced at her every minute or two as he picked at his plate, watched her eat. She tried not to notice.
"Can you, um, drive me to my appointments tomorrow?" Alex looked up at him.
"Yeah. Of course. Anything you need." Her hand rested on the table and he tried to take it, but she pulled it away.
"Thank you." She picked up her fork quickly, finishing her meal as Gene looked on. She tried not to notice the hurt look in his eyes, but it was hard.
After dinner Gene cleaned up as Alex sat on the sofa watching television. She didn't think she could weather much conversation and wanted to go to bed. When he'd finished he sat next to her, too close. Maybe if she stuck with it the images would get stronger, become clearer. She tried to sit still as he put his arm around her.
"You don't look good, Alex." His fingers traced lines on her shoulder. She needed to get away.
"Just, I have dizzy spells. I'll be OK." She put a hand to her forehead. Change the subject. "What happened to the nicknames, Gene? I don't think I've heard Bolly-anything since I came home."
Gene shrugged, gripping her shoulder tighter. "Didn't seem right, once we, you know, started shagging. 'Ave more respect for you than that." She shuddered as he kissed her forehead. "Still use 'em at work though. Keep you in your place." He grinned, but Alex felt sick and pulled away from him.
"I have to go to bed." She stood suddenly, swaying and pushing him away as he tried to steady her.
--
The next day Alex hid in their bedroom, venturing out only when Gene drove her to the hospital for her follow up appointments. She avoided talking to him, or being anywhere near him otherwise. Gene sat on the sofa and watched as much television as he could, but by the third day he was climbing the walls. She wouldn't let him near her and his frustration was rapidly winning out over his desire to help her. After clearing it with her through the closed door, on the fourth day, he went back to work.
DI Ian Rogers had been in charge while Gene had been on leave, and Gene had since been informed by brass that he would stay on in Alex's place while she stayed on extended leave. Gene thought he was a particularly useless git, which was why he never had a permanent position but spent all his time subbing for officers on holiday or leave. He was looking forward to taking out a great deal of frustration on the bastard.
"Ray!"
Ray appeared in the doorway.
"'Oo's on this stakeout?" Gene waved a piece of paper in the air.
"The one at the hotel? Me 'n Chris tonight."
"Fine. I'll be joinin' you." Gene looked up. Ray was still standing there. "Is there something else?"
"Well, Guv. We've all been wondering about Inspector Drake. How is she? Does she remember anything yet?"
"She's fine." Gene looked back down at his paperwork as Ray turned out of the office, shrugging at Chris and Shaz.
"'E didn't say anything about her." Ray whispered to Shaz.
"I'm worried about 'im." She whispered back. "What did he say?"
"'E's going on the stakeout tonight. That's it."
"I wonder if I should call her. Maybe she'd like some company?"
Ray shrugged, wandering off to his desk.
--
Gene went on the stakeout that night and every other for a week. When they weren't on stakeout, he stayed at the bar until closing, drinking everyone under the table and out the door. He somehow managed not to see Alex at all, unless he was driving her to her appointments, which he did twice a week in silence.
Well into the second week the team had closed Luigi's and were gathered on the pavement as they broke up to go home. Gene had been saying good-night to Shaz when he overheard Ian Rogers slurring behind him.
"I 'eard she's fakin' it. Pr'tendin' she can't remember 'im so she doesn't 'ave t'tell 'im t'bugger off. 'Opes 'e'll go off on 'is own."
Before anyone knew what had happened Rogers was lying on the pavement howling through a bloody nose, both hands clutching his balls as the door to Luigi's upstairs flats slammed shut behind Gene's disappearing figure.
--
"Stupid bastard" Alex heard Gene stumbling into the bathroom. She was already awake, but he was making more noise than usual. After listening for a few minutes she went out to investigate.
"Gene?" She stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching a drunk Gene pull things out of the bathroom cabinet. "Is everything OK?" He'd managed to remove his jacket and tie and a few buttons on his shirt. He right hand was bloody.
"Everything's great. Punched a bloke. Feel much better now." He went back to the cabinet. "D'we 'ave anything t'put on this?" He waved the bloody hand in her general direction.
"You punched somebody? What on earth for?" Alex reached past him and turned on the cold water, doping her best to ignore the scent of him attacking her senses. She grabbed his hand and stuck it under the running water.
"Shit! Watch that!" He tried to pull his hand away, but she held it firmly.
"Who did you hit Gene?" If she kept him talking she could get through it.
"That ponce Rogers. Careful! That hurts!" She'd dried his hand and squirted some cream over his knuckles.
"Don't be a baby Gene. And you punched a DI? What is wrong with you?"
"I'm not! It bloody hurts! He deserved it."
"Why did he deserve it?"
Gene was silent, looking away from her for the first time since she started tending to his hand. "You know this isn't the first time you've 'ad t'do this fer me."
"I'm not surprised. And you didn't answer me."
"Oh, bloody women! Always need t'know why!"
"OK. Don't tell me." She wrapped a small bandage over his knuckles. "Leave that for tonight. You can take it off in the morning and let it heal in the air. It'll be better for it." She didn't let go of his hand, instead looking up into his face. It made her dizzy.
And it was a mistake. They hadn't been this close in over a week. She'd avoided him, still reeling from the flashbacks, the images hidden to her. She wasn't sure yet how she felt about that. If she never regained her memory, could she love him again? She didn't know where to start.
Bolstered by the alcohol Gene didn't hesitate, and before she knew what was happening she was parting her lips under the onslaught of his mouth, his tongue sliding quickly against hers. Their bodies pressed together as Gene curved one arm around her shoulders and the other to her waist, groaning as the kiss deepened and he pulled her tighter.
"Gene" She pulled away, breathless. "Can't. I can't." He still held her tight but she was pushing him away.
"You can't snog me Alex?" He growled, kissing her face, beneath her ear, down her neck as she tilted her head back. "It's not on the 'can't do' list."
"Please." She could feel his obvious desire stiffen between them as he held her to him, hips grinding against her. Whether she loved him or not, she knew there'd be no stopping either of them. And going further was a definite no. She pushed away harder. "Please. I can't."
Releasing her reluctantly, Gene swore to himself as he heard the door to the bedroom slam shut. For a moment he wondered how much damage he'd just done. She'd kissed him back, but he'd pushed too far. Maybe she didn't want him after all. Maybe Rogers was right.
Peeling off the rest of his clothes he became drunkenly aware of the persistent throbbing between his legs, an almost forgotten sensation, as he hadn't been able to get or keep a decent erection since Alex had woken up from her coma without her memories. It had even begun to worry him.
Still drunk, and with the evidence of his reignited ability too much to ignore he leaned against the door, carefully gripping himself as he stroked quickly, afraid of losing momentum. He could still smell her on his shoulder. Oh shit. He couldn't bloody stand it anymore. He missed her so much. Oh oh! God! It had been so long. Unnnghhh. Bastard Rogers.
Hoping she couldn't hear him he stroked faster, the palm of his hand covering his throbbing tip, groaning as he felt himself tip over the edge, spiral out of control. He came long and hard, swearing to himself he'd make it better.
--
Sobbing into her pillow Alex hadn't heard anything. It had been over two weeks since she'd woken up, and she was no closer to knowing anything. Gene had been patient, she thought, and understanding under the circumstances, but this was too much. The moment he held her she'd wanted to kiss him, wanted his arms around her. She'd wanted him.
Eventually, still in tears, she fell asleep, wishing he were lying beside her.
