Dollybigmomma rocked this, only one more chapter left.

Chapter 44 - Poke me. I dare you.

EDWARD

After Jake and I had talked about Bella's unease around Tori, I came home later that evening to a dark-skinned man who was supposedly the exterminator. "Hey, Eddie to beddie," he hollered when he saw me, and I knew he was one of Jake's crew.

"Hey, man, what's up?"

"Just spraying for bugs," he said and winked at me.

I noticed his hose was disconnected. "Here, let me help you out here." I plugged it back in, and he smiled.

"Embry, dude, what's the holdup?" Jake called, and then he walked in to see me standing with his friend. "Hey, man, you remember what we talked about?"

"Yeah, I take it your exterminator friend here is going to take care of the problem we discussed?"

Embry stuck his fist out, so I bumped it. "You got that right."

"Hey, Embry, I think I saw a bug in the nanny's room." He pulled out a fake roach that looked rather realistic. I might or might not have cringed.

The guys chuckled at me, and I just shook my head. "Alright, so, where's Bella?"

"She's here somewhere," Jake said and then looked over his shoulder. "This place is freaking nuts, man. Who needs an indoor bowling alley and pool room, and I'm not talking about shooting pool; they have a table, but damn, they have a swimming pool indoors, too," Jake relayed to Embry.

"It's cold and rains a lot here. It makes sense to have the pool inside."

Jake snickered, and Embry pulled too straight of a face. "Yeah, Jake, it makes sense to have an indoor swimming pool." He flicked his fake hair with a swish of his hand. "Don't be ridiculous."

They both burst out laughing. "Shut up, you guys, or I'm throwing you into my indoor pool without floaties."

"Hey, don't mind Embry. He's just jealous, because his pool is full of saltwater and sharks," Jake laughed.

"Sharks?" I asked. I had heard of using saltwater before, but why on earth would someone put a shark in a pool?

"The ocean," Bella said in a duh voice.

I might have blushed a little at my stupidity.

"Well, I may be a little jealous that Embry's pool is bigger than mine," I said, playing it up.

"Hear that, Jake? Mine is bigger," he said, grabbing his crotch.

"Ah, no, it's not. I know, I've seen both, and Edward definitely wins in that department," she said flatly and pulled me away from the gawking pair.

"When have you seen his…?" I started to ask, but she cut me off.

"Skinny dipping."

"Have they…?"

She cut me off again. "When you play in the ocean fully clothed, your clothes dry a whole lot faster by the fire, when they're not on your body. They were naked; Jake always brought a blanket for me to wrap up in afterwards, while my clothes were drying."

"So, you've seen…?"

"All of their ugly naked butts? Yes, but don't worry; they hold no interest for me."

I smiled a little. "So, I'm bigger?"

She gave me a brow wiggle and kissed my nose. I would take that as a yes.

Rose was sitting at a table in the side garden, and the children were all playing in the yard on a play set Emmett and I had put up. Okay, we might have hired someone to put it up and then ran a few laps to get good and sweaty, before we'd told the girls we'd done it, so they'd believe our lie, but there was no way we were going to tell them that the directions came in five different languages, three of which I knew, but I still couldn't understand a thing they'd said.

Tori was walking around, following the boys closely, as they picked flowers and stomped them. We could have stopped them, but we chose to call the gardener later instead. Pick your fights; that was Bella's mantra.

I sat at the table and saw the women were working on some project or another. A closer look revealed that Rose was making a shirt to tell Emmett the news.

I looked up at Bella and smiled. "So, you know?" I asked, pointing to the blown-up ultrasound picture that captured the three little blobs that were my future nieces and/or nephews.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Bella said, hugging me. "It makes me want to have another one."

"Can't we just borrow one of theirs? They'll have three of them," I suggested.

Rose laughed, and Bella whacked my arm.

"Hey, abuse!" I cried. Bella rolled her eyes at me. I grabbed her and pulled her tightly against me. "I should have Embry put a camera in the bedroom to catch all the abuse going on."

Her cheeks flushed with excitement. Bella was a dirty girl. I kissed her neck, and she pushed that perfect little ass back into me. I groaned and nibbled her neck. "I think you've been a bad girl," I whispered.

She smirked at me, as if she was telling me to prove it. She took her seat at the table and smiled. She had a picture of some sort of fancy dessert. I read what it was. "Tulip cherry pie."Such a naughty girl.

I leaned down and whispered, "The cherry is long gone from your pie, my love, but I do enjoy your cream pie very much."

She pulled out a shirt that said Hot Sausage on it.

"What's with you and food?" I asked.

She didn't answer, just smiled at me. Then, she pulled out a shirt that said Toasters R Us on the front. I scowled, and then she flipped it over to show me the knife-wielding toaster on the back.

"Ha ha, very funny," I said and got up.

I might have avoided the kitchen in our wing of the mansion, when Bella teased me that, if I put the toaster in the cupboard, it would conspire with the other appliances. Yeah, she thought that was funny, but then I'd seen the way she'd looked at the blender.

That's right, baby, that sucker will cut you, so back off. You know I'm not crazy. The appliances are evil, and they're after us!

Okay, maybe not, but I wasn't turning my back on the cupboard that housed them.

Jake and Embry came walking out of the house looking worried. Bella caught on to it quickly and jumped up.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I think you have a termite problem," Embry said and gave Jake a pointed look.

"Rose, can you keep an eye on the children?" Bella asked, even though Tori was still outside with them.

Rose nodded yes, and we all moved to the master bedroom. I wasn't quite sure why we were in my room, but then there was suddenly a hush. Embry motioned for us all to be quiet with his hand. He took his bug killing pack off his back and pulled out a laptop. He opened it and pulled up something, and then several camera views showed up on the screen. Wow, they worked fast.

He held up a hand, telling us not to talk. He clapped his hands, and it echoed on his laptop.

That was strange.

He did it a few more times, and it got louder and louder. Finally, he reached under the nightstand. "Ah, here's the little critter. I'll be sure to spray good in here. You see what I mean about termites?" he said, as he smashed the crap out of the little piece of technology.

"So, what are these?" I asked, pointing to the other camera views on the screen.

"Those are your termites. This," he pointed to the laptop, "picks up signals from devices already planted. Someone else is watching you. I'd say it was from before, when your dad lived here, but as you can see, these two are in the new section of the house added after the rebuild. Your dad was already dead. These were set to watch you and your brother."

I just stared at them in shock.

"What I've done is linked into them with the ones we've added, so we can see what they're recording. You all will want to be careful in those areas," he suggested. "I've also set a few more cameras in other places. Two of the new ones, which are in your nanny's quarters, as well as the kid's rooms, are extra sensitive. There's something else, though. When I was setting one up in the nanny's bathroom, we found black hair die and dark tanning spray. I don't think she's who she says she is, man. We poked around a little more, and we found this." He pulled out a license that said she was Victoria Jameson. He also showed us the license she had shown me to get the job that read Tori Maria Jimenez.

"Victoria Jameson. Do you think she's the one who killed my father?" I asked.

Bella just crossed her arms with a knowing look on her face.

"Oh, my god, what if she was the one who poisoned the boys' sippy cups?" I freaked.

"I don't let her get the kids' food," Bella reassured me. That didn't help. She had been in the house and in the kitchen. "I'm calling Charlie," she stated firmly.

I listened intently, as she rambled off everything we had learned. I could hear Charlie nearly shouting at us to get out of the house. He was going to run a check on Victoria Jameson to see if he got any hits. He didn't want us in the house while it was going on.

We stepped into the hallway. "Charlie will check the food while he's here," Bella said nervously.

"So, La Push? I'm sure you guys could use a day at the beach," Jake said. Embry nodded in agreement.

The sun would be setting soon. I didn't know if the beach would be a good idea.

"You can't pass up the bonfire, dude," Jake encouraged. I grinned.

"I'll get the kids ready," I said.

Once we were all outside, Embry informed us that he'd be staying behind to monitor the cameras from about a block away and keep an eye on Tori, or Victoria. He didn't want the bitch to try and pull anything while we were out.

Bella couldn't have asked for better friends.

Rose was insistent about staying. She wanted to wait for Emmett. I told her Charlie would be coming by, and she seemed fine with it. Bella was nervous about leaving her there alone with Victoria. She didn't want anything to happen to Rose or her babies, but Rose assured us she could handle herself.

The bonfire was nothing like I remembered it. There were tiki torches all along the path from the parking lot to the party, and there were several more surrounding it.

To my sheer amazement, there was a large ramada made of what looked like thick glass. On the top of it was a fire that was illuminating the whole place. There were several centerpieces on the tables that were made up of candles and what looked like wildflowers.

Jake patted me on the back. "Yeah, Tanya didn't like the smoke from the fire getting in her face, so she had that built one day. Behind my back I might add, so now, we have a big bonfire up there," he motioned to the roof and shook his head, "Freakin' nuts."

"Very classy?" I asked.

He laughed. "That's what the other chicks said. Turns out they outnumber us on the rez, so when it was put to a vote, this is what happened," he motioned to the elegant surroundings. "Next thing you know, they'll be insisting it's a black-tie affair."

"I feel underdressed already," I teased.

Tanya came running up. "Hey, Jakie-poo, I missed you, baby."

"Hey, you remember Edward and Bella?"

"Right, of course, Edward and I are old friends," Tanya cooed. I cringed back into Bella, pulling her forward. "Bella, it's so nice to see you again," she said, reaching out her hand, flashing a huge diamond ring. I suspected she'd bought it herself. I knew Bella was thinking the same thing, because she smirked at it. She knew Jake didn't have that kind of money.

"Welcome to our land," Tanya said with a flourish that would have made Vanna White jealous.

Bella smirked at her and looked up at Jake with a grin that let him know she was up to something. She suddenly let out a howl, and the crowd on the beach answered her back. Jake let another rip and did a backflip, as the other guys met up with us. Bella jumped up, Jake caught her easily, and the crowd started tossing her around with excitement.

I looked over at Tanya, who was scowling so hard, I thought her head might pop off.

Yeah, that was my girl. She was just perfect that way.

We were enjoying the rowdy atmosphere that Bella seemed to encourage, much to Tanya's dismay. Who knew Quil could juggle tiki torches? That was awesome!

My phone rang, and I got a very frazzled and upset Rose yelling that she was on the way to the hospital. I tried to make out what the hell she was yelling about, but all I got was her impersonating a guy's voice saying, "…'No pesticides,' and then he was all, 'Ew, bug parts…'"

I didn't know what the hell she was talking about; just that she was headed to the hospital with Embry, because of juice. I hung up and quickly called Emmett. He must have been with a patient, because I only got his voicemail. I left a message, telling him to meet us at the hospital. Thank god La Push wasn't far. I asked Jake to watch the kids, because I knew they would be safe with him. He knew to keep them close to him.

Bella and I sped off to the hospital to find out what the heck had happened to Rosalie.

We came running in and crashed into Emmett, who had just gotten the message I'd left him. We asked where Rose Cullen was, but we were informed that there was no Rose Cullen in the hospital.

We called Seattle Grace to see if we'd misheard, but they didn't have her, either. Emmett was about to lose it, so Bella, the wonderful genius she was, texted Rose.

Where R U? We R here.

Her answer was quick.

Room 234.

Bella grabbed Emmett's hands and mine and dragged us to the elevator. She punched in the second floor button, and I realized it was a room number.

We stopped in front of Room 234 and knocked.

The door whipped open. "Took you long enough. Nimrod over there went crazy, when I tried to drink some juice. Turns out he's allergic to strawberries, and when he spilled my juice on his arm, he blew up like a freaking hot air balloon," she thumbed over at Embry, who was all swollen up and covered in hives.

"Oh, my heavens, Embry, what did you do?" Bella asked sweetly.

He went on to explain how he'd watched Tori swap out the juices, just before Rose went in to get a drink. He'd tried to tell her not to drink it, but he didn't want to scare her, so he'd said pesticides were not good for the babies, and then she'd said it was organic, so he'd said there were bug parts in organic juice, and that wasn't good for the babies, either.

The whole time he was telling his story, Emmett was just looking at Embry as if he was nuts. Rose was standing there, clearly annoyed and rolling her eyes, with her arms crossed over her shirt. It was then I realized that Emmett didn't know Rose was pregnant yet.

"Hey, where are the kids?" Rose suddenly asked.

"They're still at the beach with Jake and his crew," Bella answered.

"Yeah, except your three," I smirked.

"What? Where are my kids, man?" Emmett shouted, worried.

I just started laughing, which pissed him off.

"Dude, it's not funny. Where are Bree and my boys?" he said, stepping up.

"They're at the beach with Jake," I said, smirking.

He squinted his eyes at me, confused. "What the hell is going on, man?"

"Maybe you should ask Rose," I said, pointing to his wife.

He walked over to Rose, and she unfolded her arms. He looked at her shirt, confused. "Rose?" he asked in awe, looking at her shirt.

She nodded her head yes. "We did it, baby, on our own."

He furrowed his brow at the three arrows on the shirt pointing out the babies.

"Three, Emmett, we're having triplets," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

His eyes got big, and so did his smile. "We're having a baby! We're having three babies! Should you be standing?" He quickly pulled her to a chair. "You need to take it easy, honey. We want them to stay in there," he said, fussing over her. "Three," he whispered in awe of himself.

I pulled Bella out into the hall to give them a minute.

"Can we fire her NOW?" Bella asked, annoyed. "She tried to kill Rose and her babies! I'm calling Charlie. If you aren't doing shit, I'll take care of this myself," she said, storming off as she dialed.

I hurried after her, but she had already shut her phone and was marching to the car. She had jumped into the driver's seat, and I barely made it into the passenger side, before she threw the car into reverse and sped to the estate.

"Victoria!" Bella called, as we walked in.

Tori came running out, not realizing her mistake of answering to the wrong name. "You called for me?" she asked sickly sweet.

"Is my father, Chief Swan, here?" Bella asked.

"He was here earlier, but he left," Victoria answered.

Bella smiled too big and mischievously. Before I could even register what was happening, Bella was on her, and they were on the ground. Victoria was screaming like a banshee and swearing up a storm, forgetting to use her fake accent, as Bella beat the crap out of her.

Next thing I knew, Charlie was busting through the door and told me to grab my wife, and he would grab the nanny.

We pulled the girls apart, and Bella spat at Victoria, smiling.

"Bella, I told you to wait for me, damn it! When are you going to listen to me?" Charlie growled.

She smiled innocently, and he shook his head in response. He cuffed Victoria, and she started screaming again. She wanted to know what was going on, but she shut up quick, when she saw one of Charlie's guys taking swabs of spilled juice from the side of the sink. She had said more than once that she wasn't the maid. Looked like it had backfired this time, when she hadn't wiped up the counter, after the juice had been spilled.

I wondered if the title of "maid" would appeal to her now more than her new one would.

Inmate.