Thank you Kurt50Alien, The One The Only Marty D, Knightwing20042 and for following, favoriting and reviewing!

Guest Reviews:

Didi: "Alright. I honestly don't know how you do this. I'm gonna have to leave the story. For real now. Life's just been pure shit and xXMoonliteXx's insult to Athena (my friend's godly parent), I don't think I can read it anymore. I'm really sorry and I hope that you know that I still love you platonically, Sage! Good luck in all that you do!

For the last time,

Didi" Aw, I'm sorry you have to go, Didi. I'll miss your reviews!

BornOfTheGods: "It would have been so much simpler for the Amazons to just kill Flavia and take effing gift card. Y'know, because they're THE ANCIENT WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL AND ELITE FEMALE WARRIORS! (And Flavia's demise would be so satisfying.)" That would be satisfying. And then the Amazons just totally sack the Hot Topic and burn it to the ground! Yeah...

Guest: "so their saying that they joined about 3000 years ago because they don't know what a hot topic is but they just said " Lets cut off our breasts because we'll never quit and be shunned " Great choices girls * Slow clap *" Way to keep it classy, ladies.

Guest: "Hippolite: I hate men! That's why I am with the amazons!

Flavia: *pulls out gift card*

Hippolite: LOL FTW forget evrything I just said I need to lok kawaii and sexly in Hot Topic clothes and I need boob surgery!" A truer quote recap review has never been written. But what does "FTW" mean in this case?

Guest: "Reading this over I realized that there are two very different writing styles at war in Flavia's narration. On one hand she throws around phrases like "and so it was," "they spoke of my mighty deeds," "the place of which she spoke." On the other hand, you have "lol geddit" and "fuk u." It gives the fic a distinct and...kind of weirdly entertaining cadence. And her nonsense words like "I slimbered up to him," "a breeze swimped feltly", "she snitted" etc. are BS, but they feel like the right word in a Jabberwocky sort of way. It's these things that make me suspect this is indeed the work of a troll. Not to mention the line (from the sequel I think? Or maybe this one, I don't remember) "I cut off his legs and he was...defeeted!" It's a bit too deliberate. Anyway, it's still a piece of shit, but as someone who's into etymology and making up fictional languages, I find it mildly interesting!" I definitely agree with you the troll bit, and xxMoonlitexx's writing style is a bit too unique (and stagnant) to be real.

Guest: "The jail thing is disturbingly specific. I wonder if Hanna tried to shoplift from Hot Topic. Or Hollister, and that's why she hates it so much... Your guess is as good as mine.


53…..Birds Attack! Quick! Grab a wire hanger!

Well anyways my next task was arrived! Artmeis got the belt an said "Well this is a sweet fukin belt, thou may keepist it" Yeah, screw those Amazons! Clearly Flavia deserves it more!I put it on an I looked super hot but also sexly. Is... there a difference? It was acutely a blt of magics. You'd definitely need magic to look remotely attractive, Flavia.

"Thou next task on thou list is this, thou must kill birds" She explaned "But these arent like normal birds like sparlows or seagles What the hell is a "sparlow"?! , not even like Vampire bats (exept I called them empusa bats cause I was greek.) Vampire bats aren't bird, you idiot. Calvin and Hobbes had a better guess with "bugs".

"Well are they deadly, it doesnt matter anyways cause my aim is deathly" I said.

"Yes but thou birds are made from arrows an they shoot these arrows at thou instead of feathers, maybe like a porkupine but a porkupine of death!" Porkupine of Death! Coming to a theater near you! Featuring: poor special effects sizing up bored, distracted animals and given a scare chord soundtrack as an attempt to be scary! Yelled Artmeis quitely. Welp, add to the OxyMORON list.

"Thats fukin stupid birds" I agreed with her! You do kind of have to wonder just what the Ancient Greeks were smoking when they come up with some of their myths. And where we can get some. "What do they have a name?"

"These are stigmalyian Stymphalian. But I'm too lazy to keep correcting you. "birds" Artemis extonded. "Make sure to always have 'birds' in quote-unquote marks. It adds to the 'mystique'."

"What loser said name them that" I asked mocking this foolish one who come up with such a suckish name. Um... probably the people from Stigmalyia. And I wouldn't mock anybody's name if I was called Flavia Maya Lilith Knight.

"Oh course it was Apherditi If we're to believe Aphrodite's really a dumb blonde, then how was she able to even pronounce Stygmalia?!, Zeus saidest I coudest have the naming but then that slut hore Apherditi slept with him and seduced him and so he let her" In many versions of the myth Zeus is Aphrodite's father, and even if she's not she's still generally known as one of the few beings not to have sex with him! Zeus probably gave her the naming rights because, if the rotten apple doesn't fall far from the diseased tree, Artmeis sucks at naming things. Said Artmeis in a voice of expasive sadness. Boohoohoo. You didn't get to name some death birds! Allow me to unpack my World's Smallest Violin for you!

"Somd day Zeus will pay for this unjustiseness!"I distraged to teh heavins, at which point I was immediately struck down by lightening because Zeus doesn't put up with people threatening him. "An also anyways Im namin these birds my own name to show Apherditi she cant own the worlds, Im calling them "steel porkupines" but steel!" AHAHAHAHAHA! That's the dumbest name I've heard since "Night Death Arrow"! Stygmalian birds is far more dignified and intelligent!

"Thou namested them bad ass" *choked laughter* It sounds like the name of a third rate high-school football team. Approved Artmeis all wise an contended.

Now I spoke no more cause it was time for my task! I got Jason to come with me an we rode on a my little ponty motercycle *sigh* Oh Jason. It used to be cute, but now it's just an obsession!he had in the temples of Zeus, it was purple an epick exept there were imagers of princess Selstia on it, but I didnt judge this cause Im not a bigmiest. If you're not a "bigmiest", why do you feel the need to constantly point that out? Jason could live his own lifes an I exepted him for who he is an so should you omg, stop judgin everything!1 Keep telling yourself that.

"Tell me your lifes" Explaned jason No, don't ask! She'll give you her whole Mary Sue backstory! It will take hours! on the way to the muddy place where these birds swimped. Ah, swimp. One of the finest words crafted by this modern Shakespeare of ours.

"Well its like this" I asked "I think I might be deep in love with Albaster but secret deeper in my heart I remember Percy, but halfs of my heart keeps sayin like "Percy sux, Albaster should be my bf" but then I think no, Pervcy is hot an also he is my Ex, it would be hot if we got back tagether to finnish what we start" I said all furstated. Oh Goddamnit! Make up your frickin' mind already! *cough slut she's a slut cough*

Jason loked seveere "You have a hard life Flavia, see I have no gf (this is like a girlfriend) cause my heart belongs to Futtershy *squick*, this isnt acutely weird Yes it is cause my inner sole is pony shaped It's still weird "

"Yes but I can only pick 1 bf to be a god with me in Olypmus" I said. My God. This is like the definition of First World problems!

"This makes it a harder chose than before" Said Jason. When has Flavia ever successfully made and stuck with a choice?!

I knew this was wise advise, but I still could not decide an this made me cloud in anger, why couldnt life be simple & incomplacated. *whiny falsetto* Why can't I be a slut and a goddess?! It's so unfair!

"Wait Flavia, here we are where the "steel porkupines" *snortle* fly in nests of death" Said Jason, we parked the motercycle in some trees so no one could see us, then we climed threw all the plants an trees. I wonder how many times y'all got bitten by sticks or scratched by sticks? Lucky for us I was wearin a cammo mini skirt an also cammo high tops an a cammo tank so no one could see me, I was invisable. First of all: camo doesn't work like that. Second: all you're wearing is a mini skirt, tank top and boots. So even if it did make whatever it covered invisible, that'd just mean you look like a floating head, arms and legs. That's not stealthy, that's just nightmare fuel! Jason did not wear cammo cause he had to wear purple cause Futteshy ... Bronyism is sounding more like a cult every second... hey, wait a minute! Fluttershy is the pink/yellow one!, so he walked bahind me so he was hidden from teh naked eyes. (ew not like that ur such a perv) When I hear naked eyes, I always think of someone like, peeling the top layer off an eyeball. That's... not normal is it?...

Suddenly a bird swoomed at us but I was horrorfied cause it was not a normal bird, it was…..a steel porkupine *snortle* an it 6 shot fethers at us, 4 landed in a tree but 2 teh motercycle! So, good news: the bird's aim is just as crappy as everyone else's in this universe! There was a very big an also loud expulsion like a nukular blast If this was a nuclear blast, you and everyone within a 0-3km radius would be dead., fire bursted an the motercycle was no more!

Jason gaseped "Oh sit this sucks cause now were trapped an there is no way back" You can fly, Jason! Fly you fool!

"NO" I said but it was true an then there were 10 more birds busted from a tree! Oh thank God, a cliff hanger! I was afraid this chapter was going to go even longer!


For a truly epic bird on man battle, look up the truly epic Coat Hanger Scene from the Indie masterpiece Birdemic.