Chapter Fifty Two – In Which Struggles Are Overcome


"Turn to page five hundred and thirty two" spoke Professor Williams entering the room and extracting his own book from his clutter desk.

Tonks felt her heart beat as she quickly skipped through her book. Today they were learning to brew a Wolfsbane potion and Tonks couldn't help but feel that it was perhaps the most important thing she'd learn all year.

"You can begin brewing" instructed the Professor "the potion should take at least a day to complete and it has to be left to simmer for two hours at room temperature." said Professor Williams, "I'll expect to see your best vile of the potion on my desk by Friday afternoon. So you have a full week to master the directions. Feel free to come and go anytime during the week, you'll find all the ingredients in the potions cabinet. I'll be here for the first two hours of the lesson today and after that it's all up to you. Good Luck" he finished with a nod at the class and taking a seat at his desk.

Tonks looked down over the instructions and broke into a cold sweat. There were four major parts. The first was the synthesis of the stock solution. The second involved stabilization of the Wolfsbane buffer antidote, then there was the addition of the Wolfsbane itself and finally maturation of the solution.

Nervously Tonks began to follow the instructions adding brine and ground mint. Stirring for 5 minutes counter clockwise Tonks then proceeded to add the lemongrass, moon dew and wormwood infusion.

After half an hour of following the methodologically and stirring procedure, Tonks then added doxy dittany, boomslang and ground dandelion root.

Reaching the second stage of the potion synthesis, Tonks began to relax slightly. So far the potion seemed to be working. At this point it was supposed to be a clear solution, although Tonks's was somewhat cloudy it looked fairly decent enough to proceed.

Next Tonks began to add the Wolfsbane buffer. Taking her mortar and pestle she ground up the aconitase petals with hemlock – to counter the toxic effects – as it was later to be removed. Acid was then added followed by kelp and a small spatula of dragon blood.

For the next two hours Tonks continued to follow the procedure of the potion adding various ingredients and stirring at the appropriate times.

By the time Tonks had added the wolvesbane and reached the end of stage three she was looking down worriedly at her solution. The solution was only a feint turquoise rather than a deep cobalt blue as desired.

Tonks sighed and looked up, taking a moment for her eyes to adjust. Her back was aching, her hair was frizzy and the heat of the cauldron was making her sweat despite the fact that the room was actually quite cold. Taking a seat Tonks began to look around the room. Quite a few of the class had already left shortly after Professor Williams had. In the corner of the room Harper looked as if he were having no difficulty at all. His potion had managed to turn a feint blue. Jane however seemed to be struggling just like Tonks, making her want to call out in sympathy. Instead Tonks took a deep breath and began to reread the procedure. She didn't think she'd done anything wrong.

Perhaps it was the addition of the wormwood infusion or that the ginger root was not ground fine enough. 'Then again' thought Tonks to herself, there was always the possibility that she had stirred the solution in the wrong direction at a crucial moment.

Tonks sighed and considered whether or not she should start the batch again or if she should continue on. It was a hard choice but Tonks decided that she had come so far and it was probably best to have some work to show for what she had been doing the last hour. Tonks continued working adding the ground kelp, diced death cap and knotgrass. Finishing the last step, Tonks increased the heat in the cauldron and began to let it simmer as the solvent began to evaporate from the solution. Tomorrow morning she would check on it to see if it had worked. If not (like she suspected) Tonks decided that she would start from scratch seeing as she had a spare few hours before Professor Moody's lecture in the afternoon.

Slowly Tonks began packing up her things feeling slightly ashamed. Ashamed that she couldn't even make a single potion after trying so hard. Ashamed and annoyed that she wouldn't be able to help her boyfriend. Annoyed because she'd always told herself that nothing was impossible and that if you tried hard enough you'd be able to do anything.

Leaving the ministry, Tonks left with her head down. As she walked she tried her best to hide the small hot tear now running down her check. She couldn't morph it away. A small tear of disappointment and frustration. After wasting all day trying to make a single potion and failing Tonks was upset. More than anything she'd so wanted it to work. She wanted to help her Gem and this was probably the only way that she could.

By the time Tonks arrived home it was almost completely dark outside. Stepping inside the house Tonks removed her jacket, gloves and boots. She sniffed as she entered the room. It had most definitely been a Jonah day and the cold only made her misery seem worse.

"Nymphadora" her mother called out greeting her from the end of the corridor and walking towards her. "Do you have a cold?" she asked.

"No" replied Tonks trying to brush her nose and hiding the tears now coming from the corner of her eyes.

"Bad day?" her mother asked observing her brown hair.

Tonks nodded sobbing attempting to say something but instead a small cry filled her voice.

"Oh honey!" called her mother enveloping her in a motherly hug. "Come here and tell me what's wrong"

Tonks just shoke her head, but no noise came from her mouth. She didn't know what to say and she couldn't possibly think of telling her mother her problems. She didn't want her to laugh and she had decided long ago that she wasn't going to trouble her parents with her worries all the time.

"It's okay" comforted Andromeda. "You can tell me anything"

Tonks looked up at her mother and tried to compose herself.

"Just tell me" her mother smiled kindly "I do remember what it was like to be young believe it or not".

Tonks sighed. Even if she were to tell her mum she didn't know where to start. Starting was always the hardest bit.

"I just had some trouble making this potion in class" sobbed Tonks.

Her mother rocked her tightly expecting more but not receiving it.

"Don't cry about something silly like that" her mother smiled attempting to straighten and remove some of Tonks's tangled brown hair from her eyes. "It's okay, you don't need to be able to master every single potion you learn in class honey. Don't be so hard on yourself. You just need enough to pass…." She nodded, "Your father and I are incredibly proud of you no matter what" she smiled "you know that?".

Tonks nodded. "I know" she took a deep breathe feeling slightly better, "I just really wanted to be able to make this potion. It's wolfsbane" gulped Tonks. "and I wanted to make it for Remus for Christmas" she cried clinging tightly to her mother's shoulders. Pain was an emotion too.

Her mother sighed finally understanding.

"There there darling, it's okay"

"It's not okay mum" cried Tonks. "It's not fair. It's not his fault that all his happened to him. He was just a kid and he's always been so nice and kind to everyone, but they treat him like he's a monster." Tonks erupted into a fit of more sobbing.

"And, and… And…" Tonks sobbed "I think I'm in love with him."

"I know honey, I know it's hard" her mum continued patting her on her back as if not phased at all by the workings of her teenage heart.

Tonks was so surprised that her mother wasn't angry that she almost stopped crying at once. "You know mum?" she asked pulling away from their hug.

"Of course" her mother answered as if not surprised at all. "Of course I couldn't help but notice the love and tenderness in your eyes when you talk about him or the way you used to write to me about him helping you with all your duelling club meetings. I may be old and not as smart as you, but I still remember what it was like to be young. Even the way you looked at him when you tripped over at graduation" her mother almost laughed but tactfully managed to smother it with a cough.

"And I see it in his eyes too" smiled Andromeda, "The way he looked at you as you got off the Hogwarts express last Christmas and told me how proud he was off your grades" she smiled goofily as if she had been dying to say it to her daughter for a long time.

"Just don't tell you dad yet" she winked, almost making Tonks laugh. "He has no idea. That man never had the first clue about love. Took him a good eight months before he even realised that I was flirting with him" she smiled as if lost in another world.

"But what should I do about the potion mum?" Tonks asked feeling frustrated again.

"Can't you talk to one of your teachers?" she asked, "I don't want you poisoning that nice young man!" she said in a matter of fact tone.

At that Tonks burst into more tears. It seemed like this day was meant to be an emotional roller coaster. "You don't believe in me either do you mum?"

Her mother sighed. "That's not what I mean. I just mean…"

"You know I'm not a kid anymore mum?"

"I know honey, I know" she sighed. "I just forget sometimes or maybe I say that because I sometimes still wish that you were a kid. Everyday you're more and more like the beautiful woman that I always prayed that you'd grow into. Don't listen to your selfish old mother"

"You're not selfish" argued Tonks

"Come on" interrupted her mother, "You too old for hot chocolate or not yet?" she asked

Tonks smiled, "I'll never be too old for hot chocolate mum" she began whipping away her tears and feeling better already.

"And mum?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Thank you for everything" she added hugging her mother one last time and feeling strangely affectionate.


Author's Note – Thanks to everyone who to time to review last chapter! Neveraskquestions, MoonstoneSeeker, remusdora and ganastas. Hope you all had a great Christmas and are having a great new year! Happy reading

PrincessDreamGirl