Chapter 50: Mother & Daughter Time
After returning to the Lake Country. "You two go train outside," Padmé ordered Luke and Anakin. "You come with me, Leia."
The family quickly split up and Padmé led the youngest to her bedroom. Padmé then closed the door behind them. This was a private conversation. "What did you mean earlier; you were putting it mildly?" Padmé asked, taking a deep breath.
"Do you remember when you stopped me from taking my life that day?" Leia asked slowly.
Padmé shakily nodded—that image of Leia holding that razor to her wrist, the memory of how close she came to losing her daughter, still haunted her. "That wasn't the first time I had cut myself," Leia admitted.
"What do you mean?" Padmé asked, sinking onto the bed beside her daughter, wrapping one arm around her daughter, pulling the younger woman into her side.
"It started when I was ten," Leia explained. "For the first ten years of my life, I was always told that Bail and Breha were my only parents—that Breha had given birth to me. Sabé, on the other hand, was telling me that you were my mother. Bail learned about that when I was ten and told me that Sabé had been telling me the truth while he had been lying. I was so angry at him that night. Somehow, I always knew that Bail had been lying and I was so mad that it took him ten years to admit it."
Padmé reached over and rubbed her daughter's back and side gently as tears ran down Leia's face. "I locked myself in my room that night, Sabé broke down the door, she saved me that first night, and she found me with my wrists sliced open," Leia continued. "It hurt but it felt so good. I was releasing that pain and I didn't care that I was hurting myself—I wasn't hurting in here." She pressed one hand against her mother's heart.
"Didn't Sabé try to stop you from continuing?" Padmé asked.
Leia nodded and said, "Yes, but I was too angry with Bail to listen to her. She was lucky to get me to not cut myself to the point of death when I was younger. And she kept Bail from ever finding out."
"What would have Bail done if he'd known?" Padmé asked.
"He probably would have me committed," Leia replied. "I would have been one of the deaths on Alderaan."
Padmé frowned. Leia took a deep breath. "My childhood was a lie," Leia mumbled into her mother's side.
"What do you mean?" Padmé asked.
"I was lied to for the first nineteen years of my life," Leia replied. "The only person who told me the truth was Sabé. I needed you when I was a kid. I still need you."
Leia began to sob violently and Padmé wrapped her arms around Leia. "I know, baby, I'm sorry," Padmé murmured.
"Why?" Leia asked.
"If I had been there, you never would have been put into that situation, Lelila," Padmé replied, kissing her daughter's forehead.
Leia nodded and asked, "Who is Leia Skywalker?"
"Leia, how do you expect me to know?" Padmé asked. "You're the one who determines that."
Leia shrugged. "It's just that I only spent a few months as Leia Skywalker and that's who I'm supposed to be and I don't know who she is," Leia replied. "I want to be her again—not Leia Organa."
"OK, stop referring to yourself in the third person," Padmé said, holding up her hand. "It's freaking me out."
Leia grinned sheepishly. Then Padmé continued, "Look, you and Luke came back in time to change things so Anakin and I get to raise you. But if something happens to prevent that, I'm planning to ensure that every member of both sides of our family knows that I have twins. If Bail tries to take you, whatever member is able to do so, he or she will take him to court on charges of kidnapping and take you back, raising you as Leia Skywalker."
Leia's eyes and face lit up happily. "Can I help track the Skywalkers?" Leia asked.
Padmé nodded. "We'll all meet on Tattooine," Padmé replied. "I'll fill the entire family in—once I'm pregnant with you two troublemakers."
Leia smiled up at her mother. Suddenly the two jumped when they heard two thuds coming from the porch. They ran out of the room and found both men on their backs. "What are you doing?" Leia asked, walking over and leaning over her twin, noticing his very lost expression.
"Finding shapes in clouds," Luke replied, slightly dazed. "The one over my head looks my twin. I think I can touch it." He poked Leia's nose. "Hey! It even feels like her!"
"Luke, there isn't a cloud over your head," Anakin said, sitting up slowly. "That is your twin."
"She's pretty, but Mara's prettier," Luke mumbled.
"His girlfriend," Leia supplied helpfully.
"She is not my girlfriend, OW," Luke protested. Leia moved back as Luke quickly sat up.
"Anakin," Padmé glared at Anakin, who cringed away from her.
"What did you two do?" Padmé asked.
"We were wrestling and I flipped Anakin," Luke explained.
"I overdid the flip on Luke," Anakin admitted, sheepishly.
"Men are such idiots," Leia muttered to Padmé.
Padmé nodded in agreement. "Anakin, get Luke inside," she ordered. "I'll go get an icepack."
