Pan's POV
I ran my fingers over the edge of the thin paper before glancing back up to my shadow who waited patiently. Its eyes widening in curiosity as I lifted the letter back up to my eye level, holding the thin paper at its edges. I focused on the corner of the paper, tilting my head ever so slightly as I watched a small flame ignite. The warmth of the flame gave me no sense of pain as it slowly burned at my fingertips, the ink smudging and soon melting away against the heat.
A grin curled through my lips as I turned to my shadow.
"Some people never change."
My shadow's eyes narrowed.
"What of the boy?"
I looked out past the shadow to the horizon as the sun slowly moved up above the water's edge, bringing the light up with it. The blues of the water illuminating off the surface as the waves washed up on the shore, the sand sinking slightly beneath my feet. It was calming...the mornings, as though the whole island was slowly awakening. It reminded me of the first days I spent alone on the island.
I forced myself to pull out of my trance as the burning smell of paper took over my senses and brought me back to my shadows attention.
"The package will be delivered as the deal goes according, which I suspect judging by the letter that the time should be arriving very soon," I paused and turned to my shadow, "Did you get any sight of them?"
"I'm afraid not," The shadow spoke, lowering its tone.
A smirk formed on my face.
"The captain knows the rules and the consequences. He's still been a part of the game since the very beginning, he knows how to play, but now, I guess he has decided to make things a little more interesting."
"What are you going to do?"
I grinned as that the shadows question.
Isn't that the question everyone wants to know.
"I guess we will have to wait and see, but for now the boys will be put the final test."
Ethan's POV
"Ethan, wake up."
I turned over and breathed heavily as I heard her voice whispering in my ear.
"I'm waiting for you."
It didn't matter how hard I covered my ears, I could still hear her voice. It was manipulating, controlling, every word slowly echoing in my head and the worst part was that it wouldn't stop.
"Why did you run away from me?"
The tone changed, sounding slightly more aggressive. I jumped in fright when I felt a hand place on my shoulder forcing me to wake up. I blinked my eyes open slowly, allowing for the light to seep through. It was just a nightmare, I reassured myself as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. But once my eyes had adjusted I furrowed my brows in confusion, pulling my arm away as the rough material I was used to was now as soft as silk. I felt my stomach sink as my eyes flickered over the hand stitched, golden palace insignia that was imprinted into the corner of the wrist cuff line. That confusion soon turned into fear as I pulled my hands away from the soft red quilt that was covered in hand-sewn golden patterns. My eyes trailed to the edge of the large bed as the memories came flooding back. I could feel myself sweating as I quickly lifted the quilt off of my legs and stumbled out of my bed.
No, it can't be...h-how could I be back here?
I felt a cold rush as I stood to my feet, my bare skin touching the dark-grey tiled floor. I quickly looked around my room at the familiar setting. Everything was just how I had left it, as if I had never left it. I scanned the large room before I found the large double doors on the opposite side of the room.
I had to get out of here before she catches me.
I didn't have much time.
I ran to the doors, my shaken hands reaching hold of the golden handles, soon hesitating to pull them down as I listened for any movement outside the doors. I waited a couple seconds but the only thing I could hear was my pulse beating in my head. I pulled the doors behind me and stepped out into the main corridor, quickly glancing left and right to see if any guards were patrolling the hallway, only to find that it was empty.
She always had guards watching my room.
It didn't feel right, it was so unlike her.
Something was off.
I made sure the hallway was clear one last time before turning to my right and running down the hallway to the next long corridor that lead to the courtyard. It was all coming back to me. I double checked before turning the corner but there were still no guards. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I had to get back to Neverland. I couldn't believe it myself but staying here was far worse. I was so close to the courtyard doors but something had caught my eye, so much that I had stopped running. Instead I was standing still, out of breath as I looked at the large circular gold-framed mirror that hung out of place against the dark shaded wall. That wasn't the only thing that was out of place. I couldn't help but stare at my reflection. I looked so different. My skin was clear; free from its usual dirt smudged skin, my dark brown hair was cut clean and short. My ruffled shirt and brown cloak were replaced with a white silk button up blouse. It was all too familiar from such a long time ago.
"Hey you!" My eyes widened as I looked at the two guards, both dressed in the night-black armour I remember all too quickly, their swords already drawn. "Stay exactly where you are!"
I didn't give it a second thought before talking off in the opposite direction. The guard's shouts followed behind me followed by the echo of their boots as they ran after me. I picked up the pace, beginning to near the next corner of the hallway. I glanced behind me to see the two guards running not too far off from me, their heavy armour still left me with a safe gap between them. I went to turn back around but a heavy impact collided into me sending me falling backwards to the hard tiled floors.
I looked up to see another two guards in front of me. I could just see their eyes staring down at me through their black helmets. Before I could figure out whether to fight them off and make a run for it the other two guards had already caught up to me, their footsteps coming to a stop behind me. That was the last thing I could see before a sack got thrown over my head. I could feel the guards grabbing a firm hold of my arms as they lifted me off from the ground, quickly restraining my hands behind my back as they pushed me forward to walk with them.
It wasn't long until I heard a set of doors opening, their tight grips letting go of my arms before forcefully pushing me to my knees. I swung my hands in front, catching my fall as the sack was then removed from my head. I lifted my chest up and swallowed the lump in my throat. I could feel my mouth drying by the second as I looked around at the large room I once remembered. Silver silk curtains draped over the east open balcony, inside following the same luxury with a large fire place, fur rugs and expensive furniture that was the finest in the kingdom. However my eyes froze at the woman who had her back to me, sitting in her chair, her black fitted dress falling to the grey tiled floor.
I gritted my teeth as I stood to my feet.
"What do you want from me, evil queen," I spat bitterly.
I heard a sigh escape her lips. She stood from her chair and turned to face me. I glared at her as she did to me. It was as if she hadn't aged at all. Her raven hair was styled back falling by her side as the dark strands blended with the darkness of her dress. She raised her hand towards the guards, gesturing for them to leave the room. I watched as the four of them left at her command. Once they closed the door behind them I turned back around.
"As much as I like that name," She spoke, her grin disappearing as she clenched her jaw, "I prefer for my son to address me as mother."
I scoffed.
"A mother would be the last thing I would ever call you."
I curled my fists as my memories flooded back uncontrollably.
"You're horrible. You killed all those innocent people just because their lips were locked in fear. They couldn't give you what you wanted and you decided to kill them for it, all of them! Women and children, all innocent, all died because of your petty revenge. People will only look at you as a villain, not a queen."
I watched as her eyes shined brightly out of pure anger. I knew what she was capable of but I had to say it now. I couldn't say it before because I was afraid of her, but now, I don't care what she thinks because I don't care about her.
"They are afraid of you, always have and always will be. They know who their real queen is-"
"Don't you dare say her name in my kingdom!-"
"Snow White," I finished with a smirk on my face. "You and I both know she would be a better queen then you could ever be, it's her rightful throne, is it not?"
I watched her fingers tightening in her arm-length gloves.
"How dare you!" She yelled, her face filled with rage, "That girl who you think is some kind of hero, is the one responsible for your own father's death!"
"I can't blame her for something she did not do," I tried to reason yet this only seemed to drive her passion of vengeance against her worst enemy.
My eyes widened as she disappeared from where she was standing, my breath hitching a second later with a cold shiver running through my body as I felt her presence behind me.
"All I wanted was for you to love me for who I am," She spoke through gritted teeth but I could hear the hurt in her voice.
I shut my eyes slowly before opening them again; leaving behind any forgiveness I had felt. There was none left. I can't ignore what she has done.
"I'm sorry, but I can't love someone like you," I said truthfully, feeling the pits of my stomach tighten.
I flinched as she appeared before my eyes. Never had I seen her more furious than she was now. I could even hear her frustrated breaths as her eyes glared at me indecisively. I felt a wave of regret surging through me because I know what she is capable of...I've seen it myself. I know she has magic and I know how she uses it towards those who betray her. Now all I could think of was what she was going to do to me. I could tell she was deciding which now made me fearful of what she might choose to do with me.
I waited until finally she extended her arm quickly causing me to flinch as she placed her hand flat against my chest, straight over my heart. I could feel my heart beat increasing by the second and I know she could too. I waited in fear for her to say something. Her eyes met mine and I could still see the anger in her eyes.
"You see, it's still beating."
My body froze as the words left her mouth. I had really crossed the line this time. What I thought was courage and bravery may be the consequence for my own death. I watched with wide eyes as she slowly pulled her hand away from my chest. Both confusion and fear were the only things circling my mind as I tried to figure out what she is going to do. I watched as she raised her hand and clicked her fingers. I blinked and we were no longer in the palace. The open space became a narrow brick room. I was left standing in shock as she left my side and walked further into the small room. My legs began to shake as I forced myself to walk; my eyes trailed the two long walls, both sides mirroring images of the other, boxes upon boxes stacked from the grey tiles of the floor to the ceiling, with golden frames separating each individual box. I could feel my throat swelling up as I saw every box blinking in the shade of red around the room, all flashing out of sync. I know what they are and I know what she does with them. This is where she keeps them. This is her vault.
"Ethan dear, would you come over here," She spoke calmly but I could hear the authority and control in her voice. It wasn't something she wanted me to think twice about. Not following her instructions now would be putting me in a far worse situation then I'm already in.
I walked over to where she was standing behind the dark green curtain which reached down to the floor. She pulled the fabric away revealing a smaller curved stone-wall. Once again rows of boxes filled the entire space, except these boxes weren't flashing red; they were gold and held a number and a letter imprinted within the small circle in the middle of the box.
"Aren't they beautiful?" She spoke in awe as she tilted her head up, looking at each one of them.
I didn't say anything, I just waited silently.
"Each one of these hearts have very special meaning to me."
She looked at the box in front of her, her hands grasping the sides of the gold frame before pulling it out from the wall. I look a step back as I looked into the box that she had slid out, only to see that it was empty. My back touched the curtain but before I could take another step she held her other hand behind her, using her magic to freeze me on the spot. I couldn't move at all no matter how much I tried. She turned around to face me, taking a step closer before reaching her hand out, her icy fingers grazing my skin as she stroked my cheek.
"You have betrayed me as your queen and as your mother."
The calm tone she had been maintaining since we entered her vault was now replaced by the built up anger she had been holding back.
When I was little I thought she was good, or at least, I thought she could change...I really did. But this vault is just one of the many reminders that she can never change. She will always be who she is, not a queen, not a mother, just a villain.
"I'm going to teach you a lesson." She spoke through gritted teeth.
"What are you going to do, store it away in your countless boxes so you can use it to control me whenever you want to?" I said through gritted teeth.
I felt my body loosen up as she undid the magic that was keeping me frozen. It was a mistake to think I could be off my guard for a second in front of the evil queen. I felt my airway closing quickly, my body jolting forward leaving me groaning in pain. My insides turned as she lashed her hand in front of me, reaching straight into my chest. I could feel her fingers locking around my heart as she began to rip the organ from its place. I screamed out, never knowing the extent of pain her victims could feel until I felt something tear inside my chest forcing me to hunch over as she ripped her hand back out. I grabbed my chest, my legs struggling to keep me from collapsing to the floor as I tried to breathe. I looked up only to stare in disbelief at the glowing red heart that was placed in her hand. It was my heart. I could hear it beating outside of my body, the pace quickly getting faster.
"Until you have learned your lesson, yes." She finally answered my question while placing my heart inside the box before closing it and turning to face me, "But for now there's someone I want you to meet."
I felt the pain slowly fading away now that she was no longer holding onto my heart. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion until I saw her eyes focusing on something behind me. I turned around to see a boy dressed in unusual clothing, perhaps a few years older than me who held the curtain back with one hand and looked over me. He had piercing green eyes, ones I had never encountered before. His lips curled into a mischievous smirk, his eyes beginning to sparkle as he looked down at me.
"Your name is Ethan, right?" He grinned as he lifted a brow. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. My name is Peter Pan." He introduced formally, a smirk soon rising to his face. His tone was playful as if I was supposed to already know who he was.
I didn't know what to say to him, I only watched as he pulled the curtain behind him and dropped something to the ground. I stared down as a green portal began to open beneath the grey bricks on the floor. The boy leaned over and soon enough a dark figure rose up from the portal. I could see through it as it hovered in front of me, its yellow eyes growing in size as it gazed down at me. The eyes stood out the most from the rest of the body as its black figure seemed to surround me, allowing me to only see its yellow eyes that held me in a trance. It didn't speak but I couldn't look away from it. Even though I couldn't see I could still hear the boy talking to her.
"You knew you had to pay the price, and the price was your boy."
"You can take him; I don't want to see him again."
The boy scoffed, "You were never a mother to the boy, only a controlling queen who had to crawl her way to power," I heard the boy speak back. He sounded angry.
"Take him and go before I change my mind" She spoke through clenched teeth, "I never want to see either of you ever again."
"Don't worry, you won't."
I heard footsteps coming closer until they stopped behind me. My eyes blurred as I felt a tears fall from my eyes. I wasn't sure of the reason why I was sad. Hearing the words hurt but I couldn't feel anything. That pain I would usually get in my chest was gone. It felt empty without a heart, as if I could no longer feel anything. All I know is that she didn't want me and she never wants to see me again.
"Ethan, come with me and I will take you away from here and away from her," I heard the boy whisper beside me. I looked at the figure which was still hovering above the green portal waiting. "You know you don't want to stay here."
Even as horrible as she is, she is still my family. My father died in an accident and she now wants to abandon me. I was alone and I had nowhere to go. I lifted my eyes from the green portal and looked to the figure that now held his hand out to me.
"Ethan, come to Neverland." I heard the boy speak, his voice echoing through my head as I took the shadows hand.
Emily's POV
My ears rang as the wind stopped completely. I stood still standing firmly on my feet, the blades glowing green soon slowly fading back to the silver beneath my hand as I slowly lifted my head and opened my eyes. The tornado was gone, the trees slowly swayed before everything became somewhat still. I blinked slowly thinking I must have been seeing things except once I opened my eyes that person was still standing there. They hadn't moved either. I squinted as the person followed my actions and lifted their head. It was only when I noticed their face looking back at me and the long hair sitting over their shoulder that I found myself lost for words. I saw myself looking back at me.
I felt my stomach drop as I watched myself begin to walk towards me. I didn't know what I was supposed to do I could barely believe what I was seeing. I just waited until the distance between us shortened. Once she stopped a couple feet in front of me I could see some strange differences. My hair was a darker shade than my soft brown and my eyes were piercing blue compared to my hazel eyes.
"Who are you?" I asked only for laughter to escape her lips.
It sounded like a dumb enough question now that I had said it out loud but I knew there wasn't any possible way there could be two of me. It was definitely some form of magic so I guess I should have asked what she is. She let out a deep sigh.
"Isn't it obvious?" She chuckled before a smirk spread across her lips. "I'm you...well, the worst of you anyway."
She noticed my confusion and sighed before knowing I needed more explaining. "That's right, all of your misery, grief, anger and all fun stuff has been put into my body."
My eyes widened. I really was facing my darkest fears but I never knew they would be in a copy of my own body.
"Didn't eyebrows tell you?" She asked with a grin. "He doesn't want the both of us, only the strongest will survive."
Pan's words swirled in my mind as I remembered when he explained the rules of the test.
"I'll be watching over all of you to see how you can cope in certain conditions and circumstances. You will be given a two day limit. Rankings will be based on your ability to survive on your own, your physical, and mental strength as well as fighting ability."
I took a step back as I watched myself take out a sword but held my ground as I tried to fight against what my eyes were seeing, despite my mind telling me that is couldn't be possible. I looked myself in the eyes, her blue orbs sparkling as the grin remained on her face. This was all in my head...it had to be.
"You can't hurt me." I said quietly as I lowered my sword slightly.
Before I could move out of the way she lunged at me with the sword. Not even a second had gone past and she was already standing back with two feet side by side and her sword beside her as if she hadn't of moved at all. I felt a stinging pain come from my arm. I looked down as a decent sized cut had been marked on my arm.
"Is that enough proof?" She asked before rolling her eyes. "You were always one to struggle to believe."
What she said made me feel angry but a part of me knew she was right. When I first came to Neverland it took me a long time just to accept the fact that I was on the island, let alone all the magic that came with it. Pan on the other hand was something completely different-
My thoughts were interrupted as I felt a hard shock of pain to my stomach. I watched as my other self had kicked her leg straight to my chest, knocking the air I had out of me as I fell to the ground. Before I could take a breath I rolled over as her sword went flying back down to the ground. I watched in shock as the tip of her blade sliced into the dirt, where my chest was only a few seconds ago. She really was going to fight me, but what did she want from me? To confess that I'm weak…or did she want to get rid of me entirely?
Her icy blue eyes narrowed as she watched me quickly stand to my feet. "You really are weak. I don't know why Pan wants you here so badly." She spat. I may be wrong but a part of her sounded almost jealous. She swung her sword to my head and this time I had enough time to react and block her hit.
"I'm not weak!" I yelled as I twirled my sword in my hand before gripping it with both hands. I swung my arms slightly behind me before swinging it back to her direction. She still managed to block my hit but her balance was unsteady as she had to take a couple steps in order to block the next hit.
"Sure you are." She grinned as I came face to face with her, our swords clashing together in front of our eyes. "Let's think of all the people that you gave up on, all those people you hurt just to save yourself."
I couldn't speak; I felt my throat swelling as she continued talking. Her words were pulling me in as if I was being forced to listen. She was twisting my thoughts…and I was letting her.
"First it was Oliver who you abandoned in a house full of people who hated his mere existence, or what about Connor...you were so full of hatred you couldn't control yourself and you took his life."
I felt tears threatening to escape my eyes at any moment. I tried desperately to hold them back. Her blue eyes glared at me, pity and anger was all that I could see in her eyes.
"Do you seriously think Will could forgive you after what you did to him? You wanted to leave him here. You wanted to leave without even thinking of looking back."
That's not true!
I didn't leave Will.
I never wanted to leave him behind...I promised him.
"Stop!" I yelled as I tried to block her voice out of my head.
Her laughter echoed through the jungle making my skin run cold. I blocked another one of her hits only for her sword to clash against mine again. I looked at her but she held only a cold expression on her face as her eyes narrowed.
"Why do you think your parents gave you up?"
My grip loosened around the sword as I looked at her in disbelief. She must have known her words would affect me in the way they did as she pushed me to the ground. I landed on my side, my head swinging back before hitting the ground. I instantly put one hand to the hit area, wincing in pain as the side of my head began to throb.
"What's wrong Emily? Don't you remember why your parents abandoned you?"
I groaned as she placed her boot on my stomach and pressed down onto my chest. My grip tightened around my sword as she leaned down over me.
"The answer was simple really; you just weren't good enough for them. Does that sound familiar?" She laughed. "You must have heard it enough being an orphan all your life."
"Shut up!" I yelled as I swung my sword at her which forced her to lift her foot off my chest. I took a sharp breath in and clenched my fists. "I never knew my parents and neither did you so how about you shut the hell up!" I shouted in anger even though a part of me was hurting at the thought that I wasn't good enough for my parents, that they just gave me away...that they didn't care about me. I breathed heavily as I got up from the ground, standing to my feet; I tried to ignore the pain that was throbbing in my head and chest.
Her grin widened as she moved her dark hair out of her face. "You see, I can give Pan what he wants. Strength, loyalty, trust...they are all things you don't have, especially towards Pan." She said through gritted teeth as she walked towards me, her sword swinging by her side, "Once I've gotten rid of you a new Emily will welcome the boys and Pan will finally see how powerful I really am...how powerful we will be," She smirked, her blue eyes sparkling.
I furrowed my brows as I pushed her sword away from me. I felt a strange sensation building up in the pits of my stomach, a sense of courage rising now that I truly understood what she wanted, and more importantly, I knew she would never get it. I tightened my grip around the handle and couldn't help but grin.
"If you believe Pan will consider you to be as powerful as he is then you must not know Pan at all."
This caused her grin to finally fade which made mine widen.
"Pan is the most powerful person I know and believe me when I say I've seen him use it to manipulate and control people, including myself. I know one thing for certain is that he wouldn't pay any interest to share his power, so why do you think he would pay any attention to you."
Her jaw clenched and she swung her sword towards me. I managed to block it but I could definitely feel her anger growing stronger in each hit. I flinched back as she threw her arm swords me, the blade coming only slightly away from my head. I straightened back up ready to block her sword again but it wasn't her sword that was flying towards me, it was her fist. Before I could move her fist punched straight to my jaw making an instant aching pain swell to the side of my face. I lost my balance and fell to the ground once again but this time I managed to use my hands and knees to break my fall. I guess that was one thing we both had in common. I turned onto my back to see myself glaring down at me. For eyes so blue they sure held a fiery gaze to them.
I looked where my hand was only to see my sword missing. My eyes quickly scanned the ground to see it lying not too far away from where I was. I watched as my other self began to step towards me, swallowing the lump in my throat and quickly span around crawling on my hands and knees. I dived for the sword as I heard her footsteps picking up in pace. My guess was that she was running to give the last hit. I moved as fast as I could and quickly grabbed the sword, as my hand gripped the handle it began glowing green once again, even brighter than before. I quickly spun around and held the handle up as I heard my other self yell out. After that it was just silence. All I could hear were my unsteady breaths.
My hands began to shake and my lips parted in fear to see the blade buried into her chest as it pierced her before she could strike me on the ground. She dropped her sword out of her hand and hunched over my blade, her weight putting pressure on my hands as I tried to lift her weight above me. I waited but there was no blood, she just stopped frozen in her stance. I felt my stomach turn in a knot as I looked at myself being impaled by my own sword. I pushed my arms to one side and let go of my sword. She fell to my side and onto her back, the sword sticking upright in her chest as she still remained completely still. I sat up from the ground and backed away from myself. I watched carefully as the green glowing gradually got brighter and began to create a source of light in the jungle, the strong green light reflecting off the trees even in broad daylight.
I squinted as the light began to blind me. I could no longer see myself lying still or the sword, the green light blocked out everything around her. I used my arms to cover my eyes. It wasn't until the light died down that I slowly removed my arms and let my eyes adjust. I looked to see my other self was gone. The green light had disappeared and all that was left was the sword sticking into the ground where she was just laying still. The sun reflected off the silver blade. I cautiously got up from the ground and walked up to the sword. I reached my hand to the handle and pulled it up from the ground. I looked around, through the trees to hear nothing but silence except for the slight breeze that moved the leaves of the trees. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I had been holding in knowing that this test was finally over.
I turned around and walked through this part of the jungle I probably knew best because I knew it was near campus. I was almost there but stopped in my tracks. I saw him on his knees, hunched over. I could hear him crying as his back faced me, shaking as he tried to breathe. I couldn't help but feel relieved to know that he was safe, that he was alive, that he was here. I didn't know what to do, my feet felt so heavy. My throat swelled as I did what I could only do. I called his name.
Will's POV
I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the source of light that burned up in between the trees in the distance. The flames had me intrigued as they burned brightly against the darkness of the night. I moved my way through the jungle, slowly getting closer to the fire. The light of the fire allowed me to see clearly as I noticed a boy standing still beside the flames, his eyes looking down to his feet. What was he doing at this time of night? My eyes gazed away as I shifted behind a tree when I noticed a boy standing near me. I turned around the opposite side of the tree cautiously to put me in a blind spot so that I could identify the boy. My eyes widened as I saw myself standing there, much younger than I was now as my hurt eyes flickering over the flames of the fire. I must be hallucinating, there's no other explanation.
It felt strange, my mind was blank. I don't remember coming out here in the middle of the night. If this was a memory then why can't I remember anything? My eyes widened as I watched several tears fall from my younger self's eyes. The mixed emotions of pain and anger on my him made me more confused. It was only when I held my attention on the boy standing beside the flames of the fire who was now facing my younger self. I fists clenched against the tree as the boy removed his hood to reveal none other than Pan. His face held a blank expression yet his forest green eyes were sharp and alert. My eyes trailed down to the sword gripped tightly to his hand. Red blood stained the sliver blade as well as his skin, the thick liquid running down the metal before dripping to the ground.
I flinched as a loud voice cried out. "What did you do to him!" I heard my younger self scream in agony, tears streaming down my face. Pan didn't answer; he only looked down to the ground. I followed Pan's eyes as they fell to the burning flames on the ground. My stomach turned in a knot as I could see a boy laying on the ground by Pan's feet, his body engulfed in flames, clothes and skin burning by the second leaving a dark smoke to rise up into the air. I was confused, I didn't know who the boy was or why I was so affected by it, but what I did know was that Pan was responsible.
"You killed him!" I watched as my younger self stepped forwards towards Pan, the anger in his tone made me carefully follow behind him. "You killed an innocent boy and for what..." I watched myself in shock as tears fell from his eyes. "You got rid of him just because you couldn't have control over him!"
I watched my younger self grab the dagger that was placed in his belt as his ragged breathing became more aggressive. "You killed him, and now I'm going to kill you!" I watched myself lunge out at Pan in anger swinging the blade helplessly, desperately trying to get any hit towards Pan. Pan didn't speak a word, he didn't even react just simply blocked the blade every time it would come near him as if he had already planned out every move. I knew my younger self could tell he wasn't going to win but he didn't care. Anger and pain were the only two things that were driving him to continue to fight Pan.
I had to see for myself. I had to see what caused me to rage out like this, who it was that was lying in the flames. Only then would I be able to remember and get my memories back. I moved from one tree to the next, the ground beneath my feet began to feel dry from the fire burning out the leaves and broken branches on the ground. I watched as Pan and younger myself were still fighting each other, moving further away from the body. This was my chance to know the truth.
I walked up to the body, the flames stopping me at a certain point but it was enough to see the boy's face. My eyes began to water as I looked at boy in the flames, my hands shaking violently as I covered my mouth. My eyes wouldn't close; I couldn't look away no matter how hard I tried. A thick part of the skin below the neck was split in a line of red, blood pouring out and down the boy's chest where Pan had slit his throat. The horrific sight made my stomach turn in a painful knot. Tears rolled down my cheeks and over my hands as the lost memories I once had come flooding back in an instant.
The flames were burning my skin but I couldn't feel anything right now, I just stared down as the fire began to engulf the body and burn away at the skin. I wanted to grab the body out of the flames but I knew it was too late. It caused a burning rage to run through my body. How could Pan do such a thing to a child, just an innocent boy who didn't deserve this pain. Why did Pan bring him here, why to Neverland. Perhaps if I had of taken better care of him, watched over him like I should have then I wouldn't have to be standing here now.
I heard a painful yelp and quickly averted my eyes to Pan who pushed my younger self to his knees. Still there was no expression present on Pan's face as he gazed down at me, not a slight change of remorse just a blank face. It was as if Pan wasn't even there, almost as if he leaves his body and loses all control. My eyes widened as I watched Pan carefully as he used his magic to keep my younger self held to the ground. He reached out and placed one outspread hand against the side of his temple, spreading his other fingers to the side of his head as the other hand extended to his shoulder. I had only heard of the boys telling stories that Pan could use his magic in a way like this but remember them clearly stating it was for desperate measures only. So why was Pan using it on me? What was he going to do to me?
My attention was pulled away as I heard myself yelling in fear. I didn't have time to process what was happening as the tips of Pan's fingers lit up in a green light causing the yells of pain to get louder. I felt the pits of my stomach turn as I now understood what Pan was doing. The fear within me instantly grew and replaced with anger. Pan was wiping my memory of this night, of everything that had to do with this night, he was taking it all away from me!
I had to do something, I had to stop Pan. Before I could take a step towards the two I gasped as a firm grip reached over my mouth and pulled me backwards. I pushed away from the person who was dragging me away from the body. I tried to wrestle out of their grip but the person was too strong. I reached my hand out desperately, crying as the flames burned further away taking the heat with it. I couldn't help him, I couldn't protect him and now I'm being taken away from him. I can't stand it anymore; I don't want to be alone again!
"Fin!" I screamed at the top of my voice as tears blurred my vision.
My eyes shot open in a jolt to see my vision at the same level as the ground, the spikes of grass in between my fingers. I breathed unsteadily, almost chocking as I lifted myself up from the ground. I felt my head spin as I lifted my head to see the clear water-like ripples in the barrier. I turned around only to jump in fright as a boy sat cross legged in front of me, his hood covering his face. I looked confusingly over his smaller frame. I felt a cold shiver run along my skin as the body brought his hand to his hood, grasping the dark brown material as he lifted it off his head. My stomach turned in a knot and tears instantly formed in my eyes as I looked over Fin who gave me a warm but saddened smile.
"I guess you remember now don't you Will." He spoke softly, his words repeating in my head as the smile remained on his face. I only stared at him in disbelief. His warm golden brown eyes were looking at me intently as I scanned over his features. His soft wavy brown hair was just as I remembered it, along with his small freckles that were under his eyes and warm smile. I had to make sure he was here...he had to be. I lifted my arm out in front of me but couldn't stop shaking. I was afraid that if I was to make sure he was really sitting in front of me then my hand would go straight through. Fin looked at my shaken arm and reached out to grab my hand. I flinched as his small warm hand placed in mine. He gave my hand a squeeze of reassurance and I felt tears rolling down my face.
"Fin?" I questioned wanting to hear his voice again, I hadn't heard it in so long.
His smile grew.
"I missed you, Will."
I didn't give it a second thought before pulling him to me and wrapping my arms around him. I hugged him so tightly, scared that if I let go then I would lose him again. I felt so weak for crying in front of Fin. I was always there to make sure he was okay but remembering the fact that I couldn't be there for him when he needed me most made me feel as though I've betrayed him. I couldn't help it, I just cried as I gripped onto him tighter.
"I'm so s-sorry Fin...for e-everything," I cried only for him to pull me away.
His eyes were glassy but he kept his warm smile present.
"Look how much you have grown up," Fin replied warmly. "You're not a kid anymore."
I felt my throat swelling as he's expression remained so warm.
I didn't understand…why wasn't he angry?
Why wasn't he upset?
Why is he not angry with me?
Even after everything that's happened he's still not upset. He was always making those around him feel better just by being happy, and even still, he remains the same.
"How can you keep smiling like that?" I whispered under my breath as I looked down to the ground, curling my fists in anger. "You keep smiling even though you know that Pan did those horrible things to you."
"Pan...is just misunderstood." Fin spoke slowly.
I looked at Fin in confusion as my eyes met his, only to see that he was completely serious. I waited for him to explain and soon enough he looked up to face me.
"I never had the chance to tell you before that night. I could tell when he pulled the blade out on me what he was really doing. I could see in his eyes…so much hatred and sadness. He made the choice to get rid of me because I reminded him of himself."
Of himself?
I couldn't believe Fin was comparing himself to Pan. Fin was kind-hearted and Pan was the complete opposite.
"Fin you're nothing like Pan," I said sternly but Fin just shook his head.
"No...I reminded him of the boy he used to be, before he changed."
I tried to understand what Fin was saying but I couldn't. It just didn't make any sense.
"What are you talking about?" I asked Fin as I waited for a further explanation.
"Pan was scared that I would make him remember who he once was," Fin said as his eyes glanced down to the ground before darting back to mine.
"Fin, I don't understand, I-"
"Don't worry Will. I know you will find out one day, just as I did."
What truth was he talking about?
Was Pan different?
I had so many questions I wanted to ask but Fin continued talking before I could think of asking any.
"But for now you must complete Pan's task...and end my life."
I felt a sharp pain hit my chest as the words left his mouth. I sat back in shock. I must have misheard him, I had to. The warm smile was no longer on his face, he was concentrating on me.
"W-what?" I whispered as I felt a few tears run down my face once more.
"I don't want to be your fear Will. Don't be afraid anymore. You can't blame yourself for what happened; you have to let me go." Fin pleaded.
I shook my head as I looked at him desperately to stop. He couldn't be telling me this. How could I possibly do that to him.
"No, please Fin, don't make me do this to you. I don't want to, I can't. I don't want to leave you again!" I shouted as more tears blurred my vision.
Why was he doing this?
"Do this for me."
My eyes widened as I watched Fin pulled my dagger out of my belt making me flinch back and grab it from his hands. I dropped it to the ground and stared at Fin in disbelief.
"I don't want to let you go Fin. I want to see you again!" I sobbed.
I felt nub, I didn't know what was happening. Everything was moving too fast for me to do anything. Fin had grabbed the dagger off the ground and placed it in my shaken hands.
"Don't cry Will, be strong. Be the strong friend I once knew."
It only caused more tears to fall from my eyes.
"I will always be with you, Will. I have been all this time. I have been watching over you this whole time. We're friends and that's what we do, we look out for one another."
I tried to say something but my voice was lost.
This was my fear.
This was Pan's test for me…
My grip tightened on the handle of the blade.
He really wasn't here.
Fin is dead...but I know what I have to do.
"You have to prove to Pan and to me that you are strong. You have to make it back through the barrier and live, Will. I want you to be happy, like we used to be."
I screamed out as I lunged forwards towards him, tears endlessly running down my face once hearing the blade cut into his chest, his smaller frame jolting at the impact as he groaned in pain. I took the dagger out as quickly as I had stabbed it into him, dropped the weapon to the ground and quickly held Fin in my arms, laying his head against my shoulder as I cried over him.
"I-I'm so proud of y-you Will. I know y-you will get out of h-here one day, and I know s-she will help you find your way." I looked down at Fin who gave me a small smile. "We will a-always be friends. You always h-have and always will be like a brother to me, Will."
I gripped onto him tightly as he slowly began to close his eyes.
"Please don't go." I whispered hearing my break through my sobs.
My fists curled tightly as I felt my grip loosen as a weight was lifted off me. I opened my eyes to see Fin no longer lying beside me. I hesitantly reached my hand down to the ground where he was laying; the palm of my hand began to shake as it sunk into the grass as I gripped it tightly.
"F-Fin?" I whispered only to hear silence as I reached my other hand to the ground, dropping my head down.
My eyes burned as I felt the familiar wet substance run down my cheeks, stopping at the edge of my chin before dropping down to the ground. I watched as the small drops of water disappeared into the soil, one after the other. I couldn't stop.
In the corner of my eyes I could see something shining in the grass. When looking more closely I could see a crystal clear gem, the sun reflecting off the small object. I reached for the clear gem and held it in my fingers, inspecting the small details, every edge, and every surface.
Once you have eliminated your fear an item will be dropped before you. Then and only then, will you be allowed to return back to Campus…
This must be the item which Fin had left me. In some way it reminded me of him. His pure heart and love for the world around him. I felt like this was a part of him, the only part of him that I can have alongside me. I felt my chest tighten and my throat soon become dry as my long lost memories that were removed of Fin were finally restored. They were all back, all the memories what I were taken away…by Pan. It was also a reminder that Fin was no longer with me.
I grasped the gem tightly.
Fin was gone…and he wasn't coming back.
"Will?"
I lifted my head and quickly stood up from the ground. I turned around and my legs stuck firmly to the ground. I hadn't seen her in so long. She looked at me with pleading eyes as she too stood still. So much has happened that we both didn't know what to do. I could see the worried look on her face as she looked over me. I didn't know what to do; I just swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly found my voice.
"Emily."
Oof what a chapter to write.
I hope you enjoyed it!
What did you guys think of this chapter?
Big reveal from Ethan's past! Did anyone see that coming?
What do you think might happen next?
The next chapter will be coming soon :)
See you then!
