Chapter 52 – Five Conversations

Sergeant Alan Shepard

Alliance Marine Corps

Ontarom Space Station

Then

"Look who it is boys – the Sarge is here!"

The small bar erupted in cheers as a well-built marine walked through the doors, an easy grin on his face. Alan Shepard wasn't a particularly tall man, but he had a presence about him that drew every eye. He accepted a pint glass and sat down at the table where a spot had been saved for him.

"Delivery went well. Hannah's doing fine. They're sleeping now."

Another cheer went up, and mugs clinked as everyone passed along their congratulations. Alan was popular with the rest of his squad, a hard-working, fast-talking marine that was always ready to lend a helping hand or give a word of advice. They were the same men and women who had marched with him through jungles and attended his wedding to the nice young officer cadet in the Navy.

The 103rd Marine Division was a well known name among both Alliance soldiers and civilians. One of the biggest collection of special forces soldiers, the 103 were famous for conducting operations in extremely harsh environments and terrain. They could be crawling through some alien jungle with plants bigger than skyscrapers one week, and storming a frozen beach the next. They fought anytime, anywhere, and had to be ready to go at a moment's notice.

This caused some resentment within the rest of the Corps as the 103 got the toughest assignments, but most of the glory too. But it only made them stick closer together. The 103 against the world, that's how it was.

Alan downed his glass and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. "First damn summer he's old enough, we're going out to the Karakorum mountain range back on Earth and climb Lord Dhaliwal's peak, right where my grandaddy used to take me camping. Greatest thing in a young boy's life, I can tell you."

"Have you and Hannah picked out a name yet?"

Alan smiled. "His name is John Kennedy Shepard. And he is gonna make his mark on this goddamn galaxy."

Someone raised a glass. "To John Kennedy Shepard!"

"John Kennedy Shepard!" the squad called in reply, and drank deep.

Alan chatted a little more, then pushed his chair back. A groan of protest went up.

"Hell Sarge, you just got here!"

"Now boys and girls, you know I can only tear myself away for this long. I've gotta get back. Take care of yourselves, or we'll be back here in nine months doing the same damn thing all over again."

The squad laughed uproariously at that, and he could still hear them as he left the bar and headed for the nearest transport shuttle. Ontarom Station had a decent medical facility, and Hannah was too far away from Earth to give birth there like she wanted. Well like it or not, their son would take his first breaths on a space station, not planetside.

He turned it over and over in his mind. John was an old-fashioned kind of name, but Hannah liked it. And he got to pick out the kid's middle name. It would do.

"Stop that, John!" he said out loud, earning a few curious looks from the other passengers. It was a phrase he'd need to learn.

Alan arrived at the hospital still thinking about the grand plans he had. They would go camping, they would go fishing, he would teach him how to hike and how to shoot. He would teach him how to read and how to laugh and how to get up again after falling down. His son would grow up strong and happy and make something of himself.

And even if he couldn't do any of that, he would still be Hannah's son too, and for that alone he would be loved until the end of time and beyond.

Alan made his way to Hannah's room, and found her wide awake, carrying a little bundle in her arms. She didn't even look up as he came in, being entirely focused on the baby.

"Hi darlin'," said Alan.

Now she looked up. She looked tired, but happier than he'd ever seen her. She reached for his hand and grasped it.

"He's so cute," she said.

"That he is."

Alan climbed into bed and snuggled closer to his wife and his son. He had a new family now, and for the first time in his life he was realising the full impact of that word. It meant people he would die for without a moment's hesitation. It meant people who made his heart full and made the galaxy seem bigger and more full of life than ever before.

"I've never been happier than I am now," he murmured, and gave Hannah a kiss.

"Oh really? What about that time you lost your dress uniform and found it ten minutes before the parade?"

"I'll kill Hector for that, see if I don't."

"You've been saying that for years."

"What about you, babe? Are you happy?"

"No," said Hannah, mock-seriously. "The day I was accepted to the Academy was better than this."

They laughed, and John stirred a little bit.

"Do you think he'll end up like us? Naval officer mum, marine dad..."

"Not a chance in hell," said Alan. "All kids rebel against their parents. He'll probably be a musician or a vet or something. Mark my words, Han. Little John will never join the military."

Hannah bent down to kiss her son on the forehead. "That's fine by me. Do you hear that baby? You can be anything you want to be."

General John K. Shepard

Alliance Marine Corps

Office of the HSA Ambassador to the Citadel

Now

"Look who it is everyone – here comes the General!"

I entered the room to applause and scattered cheers. Most of the crew had turned up. I had begged for two days of shore leave from none other than the Prime Minister herself before we had to set off once more, this time for the Perseus Veil. She agreed, in exchange for broadcasting my promotion ceremony live. Politicians, they were all the same.

I sat down at the table where a spot had been saved for me, and laughed along as the footage of the ceremony was played again, projected by a hovering camera drone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for!" yelled Vega.

Of course Hackett was still in his secret lair, overseeing the Crucible Project, but his hologram could be present in the Prime Minister's office. I'd asked Jackie to attend, but she said she had stuff to do. I put on my dress blues, this was the last time I would wear diamonds on my shoulder.

"So glad you could make it," greeted PM Serra, just a little bit mischievously when I turned up earlier at her office.

"You know me," I said, through clenched teeth. "Always happy to smile for the cameras." I noted with dismay the presence of some reporters. Admiral Hackett's hologram was activated and the man himself joined us, looking a bit like a pale ghost.

"Major," said Hackett in a formal voice. I wouldn't have bet my ship on it, but I thought I saw a tiny glimpse of a smile on his face. "By the special directive of Prime Minister Serra of the Humanity Systems Alliance, I, Fleet Admiral Steven Hackett, hereby promote you to the rank of Brigadier-General in the Alliance Marine Corps."

I saluted. Despite myself, despite losing Earth, despite the deaths of Mordin and Thane, I felt something close to pride. Yes, maybe rank didn't matter all that much. I wasn't going to command an actual brigade of marines. For one, there weren't all that many left. I would still be with the Normandy and go wherever Hackett and Serra ordered me to go.

Still, this was something. Hackett gravely returned my salute. The PM's aides hastened to my side, bearing my new epaulettes, but she waved them away. Incredibly, she took it upon myself to remove my old diamonds and place the silver stars on my shoulders. The cameras clicked away, and I found myself once again admiring Serra's political instincts. She clearly thought I was a rising star, and was hitching her wagon to me.

Still, after Udina, it made a nice change to have a bigwig politician on my side. Serra had even given us the office of the HSA's Ambassador to the Citadel to use as our temporary private quarters. It was her old office, but with Udina dead and the Secretary of Culture missing, she had moved into Udina's Council offices. Serra now held the top three political jobs for the time being – Councillor, Prime Minister and Ambassador. Technically, she was the most powerful person in human history.

Best stay on her good side then. I answered a few questions, shook a few hands, then got out of there just in time to be back for the party.

"So do we have to call you General from now on?" asked Garrus, raising his glass. "Get locked up in the brig if we call you 'Shepard', and a firing squad for 'Jack?'"

"I don't know Vakarian, let me hear how what it sounds like a couple more times."

"Alright then. Here's to General Shepard, hero of the Alliance!"

Another cheer went up, and another round of drinks were poured out. I laughed and clinked a mug with Joker. I allowed myself one moment to savour the sense of accomplishment. My mom was proud of me. I knew my dad would be proud of me.

I just hoped Jackie felt the same. She wasn't back yet, whatever her errand was. I was worried for a while, then I realised the best thing to do was to trust that she knew what she was doing.

Someone came up to me in the midst of all the commotion. It was Miranda. The normally pristine-looking operative was wearing a spare civilian outfit instead of her usual bodysuit, which was the first time I've ever seen her do. She looked worn out.

"John, could we have a word in private?"

"Sure thing, Miri."

We stepped into what had been the PM's private office. It was very tastefully decorated, with a decided Earth East Asian influence. I sat down on a couch and Miranda joined me.

"A coup. An actual bloody coup in the middle of a galactic war. Thank God we're all alright," muttered Miranda.

"Hey, they were -"

"My friends, not yours, I know," she said wearily. "Jack already made that point."

"I was going to say, they were a bunch of morons. And of course they aren't your friends. You've made that clear," I said.

She raised an eyebrow. "That's kind of you to say, John."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I've been on the wrong end of that stick."

"With the Alliance authorities back on Earth?"

"No...well yeah, but that's not what I meant. I mean with Ash. I still don't know if she trusts me 100 per cent."

"Ah, Miss Williams," said Miranda. "Quite the little spitfire."

Ash hadn't been around since the attack. I gathered that the PM's staff and the Council wanted to debrief her thoroughly about Udina, since she worked closely with him. But she did send me a message asking for a meeting before we left. I hoped she could make it.

"Anyway, I wanted to share some information with you. It's about my sister, Oriana."

Miranda told me about how she hadn't managed to find her sister, and how she was certain her father was behind it.

"She's all he has left. If he's hurt her in any way, I'll kill him myself."

"I'll hand you the gun," I said. "What do you need, Miri? How can I help?"

Instead of answering, she smiled. It wasn't a patented Miranda Lawson smirk of condescension. It was a genuine, warm smile.

"John, how do you...how can you say that so easily? You're in a middle of a war. You're a general, for god's sake. How can you give me a blank check and trust me not to take advantage of it?"

I felt my cheeks grow hot, just a little. "I don't know. Hell, you saved my life. Several times over, as a matter of fact."

"You've saved mine too."

"I...I know how hard it must have been for you to cut yourself off from Cerberus," I said slowly. "Yeah Jacob did it, but he was never really dyed-in-the-wool Cerberus. You believed in the Illusive Man, you were his protege. And you gave it up because it was the right thing to do. I don't tell you often enough how much I admired that, Miri. I know how much courage and strength it took to break away and throw in with us. So yeah, I'll help you. It's the least I could do."

Miranda rubbed her eyes, which had suspiciously become shiny with something that looked very much like tears. "Thank you, John," she said simply.

She told me how she thought her father was working on some big project for the Illusive Man. She explained how it was all about legacy for him, and how the Illusive Man must have promised Henry Lawson that his great deeds would never be forgotten by history.

"I need access to Alliance resources," she said at last. "I can't really say anymore. I hope you can trust me."

"I do trust you, but can't you give me a hint? What are you looking for?"

"Believe me when I say it's best for us both that you don't know the full details," she said. "But without those resources and clearance levels, I won't be able to find Oriana and stop whatever it is my father is doing."

I considered it for a moment. But just a moment.

"Let me know what you need and I'll see it gets to you," I said. "General's authority, remember?"

She laughed. "Well, that is useful. Thank you. It means a lot to me."

"You could always come with us," I offered. "I need a good XO."

"That's very flattering, but I won't forgive myself if you were distracted from your mission because of me. I need to save Oriana, but you need to save us all. Keep up the fight. And one day, when this is all over, we'll have time to sit in a fancy restaurant and talk about everything we've seen."

I smiled. "That sounds real nice, Miri. Take care of yourself out there, ok? And if you need anything at all – give me a ring."

"Yes sir, General Shepard," she said light-heartedly. Then she seemed to grow pensive.

"Something else on your mind?" I asked.

"I have something to get off my chest. To confess, really. It's been eating away at me. We nearly died out there. I need to say it now before I leave."

"Ok," I said, confused.

Miranda took a deep breath. "When I headed the Lazarus Project to rebuild you, I wanted to implant a control chip in your brain, as a safeguard."

"I think you've mentioned this before."

"I did, but there's more to it. The Illusive Man stopped me."

"That would have saved him a hell of a lot of trouble," I quipped.

"He didn't want to interfere with who you truly were, something that just obeyed orders. He wanted Commander Shepard. Installing the chip might have ruined you."

"That blew up in his face, didn't it?"

"Don't you see? If it had been up to me, you would have been a slave."

"Not that I love the idea, but I understand it," I said. "I was an unknown quantity. I could have been a mindless freak who could turn violent at any moment. You were just making sure you were covering all the bases."

Miranda breathed a sigh of relief. "You don't know how much that means to me, John. I never had to deal with that many black boxes in my life. I felt blind."

"Why bring it up now, though?"

"I've fought against my father and his obsessive need to control every aspect of my life – right down to my bloody DNA," she said. "I won't let it happen to Ori. But I didn't give a second thought about destroying your free will when I had the chance. I hate being a hypocrite."

I laid a hand on her shoulder. "Miri, listen to me. I lost two years of my life. You gave me back the rest of it. You could have changed me in a thousand different ways, but you worked day and night to bring me back just as I was."

She nodded, not saying anything.

"It's in the past. Forget about it. Focus on getting your sister back. Then we can decide what to do about the future."

"I will," said Miranda. She looked much more relieved.

"Come on, Miss Lawson. One more drink before you go."

"If you say so. General."

Later

Hours had passed, and everyone was more or less partied out. Being the commanding officer around these parts, I had the only private bedroom. Everyone else had either left or dozed off somewhere in the offices. We would be shipping off the next day, once the Normandy had refuelled and resupplied.

The door opened slowly, and I rolled over. It was Jackie, of course. She smiled when she saw I was awake.

"Jack. You're up."

"Been waiting for you to come home," I said, suppressing a yawn. "Wanna tell me where you've been the whole day?"

"Later," she said, stripping off her clothes. "There's something I need to do first." She tossed her boots away and climbed on top of me. She kissed me softly, almost tenderly, as I circled my arms around her back.

Jackie cried out when I thrust into her, but I covered her mouth with mine. "We don't want to wake the others," I said.

"Fuck that," she gasped, sweat dripping off her body. "I'll scream as loud as I want."

And she did, but for a moment. Then she collapsed on my chest, wrapping her arms around me.

"Fuck, I've missed this."

"We're getting pretty good at the separating from each other then reuniting and having make-up sex, aren't we?" I said.

"Yeah? Hope that's the last time."

"I hope not," I said. Jackie punched me lightly.

"Not what I meant and you know it. You know, this is a first for me," she said.

"What is?"

"Having sex with a general," she laughed. "Well there was that one guy, but he was only a colonel -"

"I don't want to hear about it," I said, cupping my hands around her ass. "What do you say to Round Two?"

"I say – get that nice cock of yours inside me right now, marine."

"Ma'am, yes ma'am."

When we were done, I reached out for her hand and held it. "Ok, you can't distract me with sex all night. Where were you today?"

"Oh yes I can," she said. "But I'll tell you. I went for another check-up with Doctor Chakwas. She said she wanted another look at me in a Citadel hospital instead of the Normandy's med bay."

"What? You should have told me, Jackie."

"You had that big ceremony and all."

"That's not as important," I said. "What did you find out?"

Jackie sighed. "I won't lie to you, Jack. It's not good. Chakwas said my condition hasn't improved."

"But," she continued, raising a finger when she saw I was opening my mouth, "She said she couldn't detect any additional deterioration either."

"During our fight with Kai Leng," I said. "Were you having trouble?"

"What the hell do you mean?"

"Miranda did more of the biotic stuff back there. I know you, you would never have allowed her to show you up while you stayed on the sidelines."

Jackie cursed. "Figured that out, huh?"

I didn't bite. "So, how are we going to help you?"

"What?"

I waved a hand. "You're here on the Citadel, not on Duxton. I heard about that dust-up you had with the Alliance guys there."

"You did, huh," said Jackie. Her eyes narrowed.

"Hackett sent me an update. He made it clear that he thought you were better off on the Normandy, and I happen to agree with him."

"Are you talking about not letting me fight? Because if you are, Jack, I am going to knock you down on your ass everytime you try. I'm going to fight in this war whether you like it or not."

"I agree," I said mildly.

"And if you ever try to keep me locked away for my own safety or whatever, I'm gonna – wait, what?"

"I said I agree," I said. "You came back to me because you wanted to fight. And I won't stand in your way. It's your choice."

"Ok, where is this going?" she said suspiciously.

I leaned forward and gave her a kiss. "So you'll fight...but you don't have to use your biotics all the time, Jackie. Save it for shields or for when you really need it."

"How am I gonna kill reapers?"

"You know how to use a shotgun, don't you?"

"Well yeah."

"I will teach you how to shoot," I said, my eyes gleaming. "Shotgun. Heavy pistol. Assault rifle. Sniper rifle. Rocket launcher. Every last damn weapon in the standard issue Alliance arsenal. I promise you, love, you will kill as many reapers as you want. Just not with biotics."

Jackie thought it over for a moment. Then she flung her arms around my neck and brought her lips to mine.

"Promise?"

"General's word of honour."

"You and your goddamn promotion. Ok, I'm in. Thanks babe."

"You're very welcome."

Council Tower

The Presidium

The Citadel

The Normandy was in pristine shape once more, and ready to fly again. I put Lieutenant Vega in charge of resupplying the old girl with everything she might need. While he took care of that, I brought a small team with me to receive a thorough debriefing on the quarian situation from Acting Councillor Serra.

Jackie was with me, wearing one of my old N7 jackets. Liara came along, chatting with Garrus. Miranda had already left before C-Sec could start asking uncomfortable questions, and promised me that she would be in touch soon. It was a shame, as I could have used her as a competent XO. Still, Miranda would do precisely what she'd done in the past – whatever she decided.

With EDI and Joker helping Vega out and Javik off to his own devices, it was just the four of us headed for the Councillor's Office.

"Just like old times, eh Jackie?" asked Garrus.

"Oh yeah, Leatherface. All we need now is a couple of Collector bugs to squish."

"Of course, Liara wasn't here that time," needled Garrus. She looked annoyed.

"I was running a galaxy-wide intelligence operation," she said. "Would you like to know what your academy tutors really thought of your first year?"

"Wait, what? You could find that?"

"That and more, Garrus. That and more."

We were waved through security and shown to a rather nice meeting room. I couldn't help but notice that it was bigger than the Prime Minister's old office. We were offered drinks and other refreshments while we waited.

"Human hospitality," remarked Garrus, taking a sip of the amino-dexterous drink an aide had brought just for him. "I drink to the health of the human race."

"What's left of it," muttered Jackie.

"We may have cause for cheer yet," said Liara. "From what little I can gather from Earth, Admiral Anderson's resistance movement has managed to survive. Not just that, they've managed to inflict significant damage on reaper forces."

"We could do more if we could just get the asari and the salarians on board," I said. "They have to see sense, and fast."

Liara smiled. "You might get your wish, John," she said mysteriously.

Before I could ask her what she meant, an aide announced the entrance of Acting Councillor Inara Serra. She swept into the room wearing a beautiful gown of indigo and dark purple hues, and bade us not to rise.

"I am so pleased you could attend this briefing before leaving the Citadel," she said.

"Pleased to be here," I said, although privately I was thinking that as Acting Councillor, Serra could pretty much order any human to do anything. Her deference might be a trick to put me at ease. Or it could be an indication of how much she wanted to stay on my good side.

Assistants activated the hologram projectors, and after a moment, Admiral Hackett appeared before us just like he did during the award ceremony.

"Councillor," he said, saluting. Serra returned it. He was saluting not because she was Acting Councillor, but because of her status as Prime Minister. The holder of that post was the only person in the galaxy the Fleet Admiral needed to salute.

He greeted each of us in turn, and came to Jackie.

"Corporal Nought," he said. "I'm glad to see you back with the crew of the Normandy."

"How are my kids, Hackett?" asked Jackie without preamble.

"They're all doing well, I understand," said Hackett. "Kahlee Sanders sends her regards." Jackie leaned back and folded her arms, looking a tiny bit less intense.

A second projector came to life, and I saw another old friend.

"Anderson!" I cried in delight.

The old man chuckled. His fatigues were worn and streaked with dust, but he still looked up for a fight.

"That's right, Shepard. Or should I say, General Shepard? Congratulations on the promotion."

"Thank you, sir."

"I was just getting Anderson up to speed about the attack on the Citadel, ma'am," said Hackett.

"That SOB Udina was always power-hungry, but this was crazy!" exclaimed Anderson.

"He wasn't in charge. Cerberus was just using him to take control of the Citadel," I said.

"What the hell for?" asked Anderson.

"We don't know," said Hackett. "Not yet."

"I'm working on it," said Liara.

Serra took a sip of tea. "It could have been a lot worse," she said. "John foiled the assassination attempt on Councillor Valern."

"I'll ask Hackett to forward to you my old reports on Kai Leng," said Anderson.

"You've encountered him before?" I asked.

"I shot him in both legs, but he showed up on Omega even stronger. Guess Cerberus patched him up with their fancy tech. Uh, no offence, Shepard."

"Should have shot him in the head then," remarked Jackie.

"The assassination attempt has resulted in one unintended side-effect," said Serra. "Councillor Tevos has been in touch. The asari have requested an update on the Crucible Project."

"We'll be happy to provide it, ma'am," said Hackett. "I suppose the attack has got them scared."

"Indeed it has," said Serra, with no small amount of satisfaction. "The asari and the salarians are both throwing in their support. We're finalising the terms of the official treaty, and will make a formal announcement soon."

"That's amazing!" I said. I glanced at Liara, and she smiled and nodded. So this was what she meant earlier.

"Thanks in no small part to you, Shepard," said Hackett. He sounded almost pleased. Almost. "You have made the impossible seem routine, time and again."

It turns out that when you gave people what they wanted, they would be nice to you. With asari experience and salarian technical wizardry, the Crucible's progress would be enhanced beyond his wildest dreams.

"How is the progress on the Crucible, Steven?" asked Serra.

"Our best estimates suggest that we've completed 50 per cent of the known work," said Hackett.

"That quickly?" asked Liara, intrigued.

"Yes," said the Fleet Admiral. "Once decoded, the schematics are designed in such a way that allows our linguists to easily translate the information for our scientists. It's not prothean specific. It's not even all that technical, to be honest. It's almost...poetic. Artistic."

"Would it help if I sent you some artists?" asked Serra. She didn't sound like she was joking. Hackett nodded.

"It sounds strange, but I believe they could be of assistance."

Liara was leaning forward, her eyes sparkling. I knew that she was dying to go and see the Crucible for herself. She might be a cutthroat intelligence broker, but at heart she would always be that archaeologist, trying to understand the mysteries of the past.

"But are we any closer to understanding how to use it?" asked Anderson.

"Not entirely, which I don't like. But the team's best guess is that the finished Crucible can generate enough energy to destroy the Reapers."

"Destroy a reaper?" asked Garrus.

"No. Destroy the Reapers," said Hackett. "Every Reaper. Everywhere. All at once."

All of us let that sink in, for just a moment.

"If that's true, how the fuck are we going to survive that?" asked Jackie.

"That's our job," said Hackett. "We think the Catalyst is the key to directing the energy output, and focusing it on the Reapers alone. Keep up the good work out there, Shepard. We'll keep building."

"And we'll keep fighting too," said Anderson. "Make sure there's an Earth for everyone to come back to."

"Thank you, David," said Serra. "We're doing our best, as fast as we can. Hold the line till we can come home."

"We're still in this," said Hackett. "The gods of war haven't given up on us yet."

They both saluted the PM. She returned it, and in the next moment, Hackett and Anderson vanished.

"Good news about the asari and the salarians," said Garrus.

"And even better news about the Crucible," said Liara.

"That's true, but didn't you mention something about the quarians, ma'am?" I asked.

"I did," she said. "I've received word from Councillor Sparatus that the turian fleet is stretched thin. They need more support ships, and the quarians are ready to talk."

"The Flotilla?" said Garrus. "They could certainly make a difference in this war."

"Where the hell did the quarians go anyway?" asked Jackie.

"They went beyond the Perseus Veil a few months before the Reapers invaded," said Liara. "We've heard little from them since."

"Tali?" I asked. But Liara could only shrug.

"I haven't heard from her too. I'm sure she's safe."

"Be careful, General," said Serra. "We're not sure how the geth will react now that the Reapers are here. I will send you what intelligence we have about geth activity in the Far Rim. Good luck, and all our prayers go with you."

"Thank you, ma'am."

The Citadel

Garrus and Liara left to make their own preparations before boarding the Normandy, leaving Jackie and I alone. We were determined to make the most of the time left.

We visited a club, and went dancing. We grabbed street food from Zakera Ward. We walked along the Presidium, talking about everything we've seen and done in our time apart.

She told me about Duxton, and how she had to leave her biotic kids from Grissom Academy behind, and how she worried so much about them, and yet proud that they were brave enough to keep fighting for the Alliance.

I told her about Tuchanka, about Primarch Victus's son, about Wrex and Eve. I told her about my decision not to sabotage the cure for the genophage, like the Dalatrass wanted me to do.

Jackie pointed out that we had managed to secure salarian support after all, even without resorting to such underhanded measures. And she wasn't inclined to look kindly on genetic tampering and betrayal, for obvious reasons.

"Damn salarian politicians," she said. "I'd like to tear that Dalatrass's head right off her shoulders."

But I told her about Mordin and his sacrifice, and she softened.

"I liked the scrawny little bastard," said Jackie. "I'm gonna miss him."

I hesitated.

"What?"

"It's nothing."

"Out with it, Jack."

I sighed. "Ok, but you're going to think I'm crazy." I told her about the dream I had in the Shroud that was too real to be a dream, about seeing Morinth again until a vision of Jackie showed up and helped me to overcome her. The real article was laughing by the time I was finished.

"You saw me? A version of me that lives in your head?"

"Damnit, I knew I shouldn't have told you."

"No no, this is priceless," said Jackie, wiping her eyes. "I'm riding along inside your head, soldier boy. You'll never get rid of me. Ever!"

"Just the way I like it," I said, holding her hand. All too soon, it was time to head back to the docks, where the Normandy was waiting for us both.

Something caught my eye. A familiar face, sitting on a bench near the docks and reading a datapad.

"Ash?" I asked, stopping short. "Is that you?"

She looked up, a smile on her face as she recognised my voice. Then she saw Jackie, and her expression changed.

"Princess," she said. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for John, as it happens. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well, here I am," I said. Ashley looked unusually nervous.

"I wonder if we could speak privately?" she said.

"Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Jackie," I said simply. I didn't mean to put Ash down, if that's what she was thinking. But she should learn by now that to trust me was to trust Jackie.

I could see, rather than hear, the Oh hell as it flitted over Ashley's face. She took a deep breath.

"I don't know how to say it...I'm trying to go over everything in my head and make sense of it."

"Your bandages were still fresh," I quipped. "Couldn't Udina have given you a break?"

"I was going stir-crazy in the hospital," said Ash. "I felt like I was letting everybody down. When Udina offered to make me a Spectre, I thought it was a chance to do some good."

"And instead you fell in with a traitor and nearly got the whole Council murdered," said Jackie innocently. Ash shot her a glance of pure burning loathing.

"You're not the only Spectre around here who's screwed up," I said gently. "When you asked me about taking the job, and I told you to go for it – I never wanted to put you in that situation. We're on the same side."

Jackie looked like she had a lot to say about that, but amazingly, bit her tongue and kept quiet.

"I can't believe I nearly opened fire on you," she said. "We were so close to..."

"Ash, it's ok," I said, cutting in. "We figured it out. We killed Udina and walked away. That counts as a win."

"I wanted to kill him," muttered Jackie.

"I can't believe he was behind it all," said Ash. "Was he indoctrinated? How do you fight something that can worm its way into your head?"

"You fight it," said Jackie. She didn't sound teasing or combative, but she did look deadly serious. "You fight it, and you keep fighting it. You learn to find people you can trust, and you trust them to help you tell right from wrong. And if all that doesn't work, then fuck it. Keep fighting anyway, and go down fighting."

Ash was looking at Jackie in a new light. "I'll...I'll remember that. Thank you."

I tried not to think about Morinth. "We don't have a choice. We just do the job."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," said Ash. "Hackett asked me to join his team at the Crucible Project. It's a great offer, but I'd rather ride this thing out on board the Normandy."

"I'm just going to say it," I said. "Jackie's coming with me on this. Can the two of you work together? This war is bigger than any of us. We need to be on the same page and on the same team if we're going to win it."

Ash bit her lip. Then she stepped forward and held out a hand to Jackie. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes for us to work together."

Jackie stared at her hand for a moment, then shook it. "I'll remember you said that, Princess."

Ash smiled, but I had one last question for her.

"Be honest, Ash. If you have any doubts whatsoever, now is the time. Do you think I'm Cerberus? Do you suspect somewhere deep down that I'm working for them?"

Ashley shook her head. "No, John. Not one bit." She glanced at Jackie. "I know now you'd never give them the time of day ever again."

"Then welcome aboard, Lieutenant-Commander Williams," I said. "Good to have you back."

"Good to be back. General," she said, ripping off a salute, which I gravely returned.

"I'll grab my gear and be right back," she said, and ran off.

"Two minutes, then we're leaving you behind," called Jackie after her. She laughed when she saw the look on my face.

"Relax, Jack. I'm just kidding."

"It's not that," I sighed. "You said you were ok with this, but are you really? Be honest."

Jackie put a hand on my cheek. "Do you love me?"

"I do."

"That's all I needed to hear," she said.