Chapter 51
One month later….
An unrelenting, bitterly cold winter had turned into a warm, balmy summer that gave her nothing but relief.
The heat was a little hard to bear at times, especially so early in the spring, but she wasn't complaining. Now that the fences were permanently off (and even torn down in places) a trek to the lake or a nearby fresh water stream was nothing too strenuous. She'd happily accept the heat over the bitter cold temperatures of the winter they'd just barely endured.
Of course the heat made the town cleanup…unpleasant.
Katniss watched as Gale pulled the cloth mask off his nose and mouth, swatting at the flies in the blistering afternoon heat. He'd kindly volunteered to get several guys from the mine together to gather the remains of Peeta's mother and brothers out of the bakery rubble so that he wouldn't have to see them when he started to rebuild. She was glad for that – the last thing Peeta needed to see in the rubble of his family's bakery were their remains. The spring rain had washed away the traces of blood and the smell of death, but it still seemed to haunt her at every turn. After a month of spring and peace, Peeta had finally brought up returning to the town to begin accessing the damage to the building. Katniss hadn't even had to ask Gale for his help in the task. Instead, he'd simply volunteered to do the unspeakable task to help Peeta, effectively shocking her for the first time. Gale wasn't one for change, and he certainly wasn't one to normally take so much pity that he'd go out of his way to help someone from town. But her best friend had surprised her that winter. He'd given Peeta a bit of hell at first of course – that's what Gale did to everyone. He wasn't easy to win over nor was he ever personable or anything particularly close to the word 'friendly'. However, Peeta had coaxed Gale into not just accepting him, but actually liking him.
It seemed like everyone liked Peeta.
He reminded her of her father in that way. He'd been nothing but a uniquely handsome miner from the Seam with a penchant for telling wild stories, keeping his word, and singing witty songs his neighbors liked to hear. He'd lived most of his short life underestimated and overlooked, excluding those closest to him. She'd underestimated Peeta. He'd slowly nestled his way into her heart that winter – her heart she didn't think was even worth a second thought. He'd won her over with pink frosted cookies and by taking a lashing for her. She would never make that same mistake again. Peeta needed her now and she needed to cast her own silly insecurities about what she wanted in life aside. She would do it – for Peeta. Wiping her brow of sweat, she licked her parched lips and stared aimlessly into the rubble of the bakery as Gale and the miners did a final sweep. Peeta had almost no one now. Only his father. She'd need to be strong for him, be his rock. The same way he'd done for her.
Her eyes shifted to the wooden boxes that were sitting near what used to be the alley beside the bakery. They were lined up in a neat row – one for his mother, and two for his brothers. They sat under the apple tree that was in full bloom, waiting to be buried. It was a strange sight: the peachy pink blossoms of the apple tree against a blue springtime sky, twisting upwards with a row of wooden coffins underneath it.
The apple tree.
The same tree Katniss had sat under one rainy day when Peeta had thrown her the bread that saved her. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she stared at the wooden boxes and wondered what else she could have done to save more of them that cold day. Her hearing had returned in her ear that had been damaged in the blast, but every now and then it would give her trouble. More than once she'd woken up from a nightmare filled with white hovercrafts and bombs, her inner ear throbbing. But Peeta had been there every morning to gently pull her from her bad dreams, his strong hands and soft voice the only remedy she needed. He'd hold her close and press his lips against her ear and tell her that it was just a dream.
Some mornings it was easier to convince her than others.
Katniss shook her head and wiped some sweat from her eye as she came back to the present. Gale waved a hand in front of his face before pulling his mask back into place. The flies were relentless. He met her eyes over the rubble and gave her a nod as he plunged back into the pile, efficiently sifting and checking it for anything they'd missed. A few walls of the Mellark Bakery still stood, but she wasn't sure they were worth saving. It was mostly just a pile of whitewashed bricks and glass dust.
Prim had helped her arrange a small service for Peeta's family the next morning. He was due to arrive at the bakery any minute – just now he was at makeshift justice hall in the square, securing his building permit for the bakery. It was really just a tent propped up against the side of the rubble that was the old building, but it would be years before another one would be built. The entire town would take years to rebuild, she realized.
The Capitol was gone. Thirteen had destroyed the Nut, most of the city, and had turned Snow's famously lavish mansion into nothing but dust. Gale had always been eager to see the famous city, but she would never forget the harrowing look in his eyes when he returned from the flight he'd taken in Thirteen's hovercraft. He didn't say much after that day about the Capitol or winning the war. All around them was the sound of hammering nails, saws, and people talking and planning as the town was rebuilt. Two girls she'd never seen before ambled, past, their eyes wide as they took in the devastation that was the town square. Their faces were pale and they looked lost, like they'd never seen this place before. Probably refugees from Thirteen, she mused. With the threat of nuclear war with the Capitol gone, the population of Thirteen had slowly immigrated to Twelve. New faces showed up every day as more and more people gave up the underground life they'd known in Thirteen. Not that she blamed them – most people that lived there had never even seen real daylight.
Twelve was on its own for now. Haymitch had been in contact with his tech-savvy friend, Beetee, and together the two of them were organizing a district wide radio for communication. Crews of volunteers – miners, mostly, had left town almost two weeks ago to help aide the work to restore the railroads. Until those were functioning and trade between the districts could resume they were on their own to rebuild. Katniss licked her lips and pictured things from other districts- Fish from the ocean in Four, fruit from the sunny orchards of Eleven, the sugary candies from One…. Trades between districts were pricey and rare and never something she could afford before the war. She had high hopes that without the Capitol monitoring everything it would be easier to enjoy goods from other places. Maybe even travel. She stared blankly at the horizon, the sloping mountains rising up in her blurred vision. The outline of the mountains was something she could picture anytime she closed her eyes. She'd never even considered travel before. What would it be like to see an orchard? Or the ocean? Or anywhere other than there? There were suddenly opportunities for things she'd never even dreamt of.
Katniss lowered her head, digging the toe of her boot into the rough ground. Better to just get through the day, she thought.
She had a chance at something normal with Peeta. But did she want it? She'd never pictured her future and been able to come up with a desirable picture of anything 'normal'. She'd seen what losing a spouse could do. She'd seen their house with no firewood and bare cupboards. She'd witnessed the worry on her mother's face when her father was gone and she had no money to feed two hungry mouths, much less her own. The husband, children, house thing had never struck her as an appealing option before. It felt strange to be considering that for herself.
Prim wandered over to where she stood, waving away a fly that was buzzing her face. "It's going to be a lot to clean up. Do you think Peeta will want us to help?"
She shrugged. "Does it matter, little duck? We'll help him."
Prim wrinkled her nose at the nickname but nodded. Katniss watched her sister squint into the sunlight, her nose already covered in summer freckles. She's grown so much that winter – from a half starved, scared little girl into a young woman and an experienced healer. It wouldn't be long before Prim was the one delivering babies and doling out medical advice for more than petty trades and thank-yous. Katniss could picture Prim running a legitimate business as a healer.
"He'll rebuild it better. He told me he wants to put an apartment on the second floor until he can buy a house," Prim mused casually, a smile behind her words. "He wants to buy a house," she whispered giddily, nudging her sister. Katniss scowled at her.
"What is so interesting about a house?"
Prim sighed a girlish sigh and shrugged. "Maybe he wants a house that the two of you can live in together. Fill with something other than dead animals you shoot and bread he bakes," she replied, eying her pointedly.
Katniss gave her sister a light shove. "Stop it. You know that's not what I want."
"Why not? You don't want to be with Peeta?"
"Of course I do."
"Well, he seems like he wants those things. A house. Kids. You. Why fight that?"
Katniss stared at the rubble. You only see the good in things. Never lose that, Prim."
"Katniss…"
"Think of everything that could go wrong, Prim. You remember what it was like when mom….after dad died," she cleared her throat. "Why would you invite that into your life on purpose? Kids could get sick, there would be no food, Peeta could die…I could die. Things could be awful again in the blink of an eye, don't you see?"
Prim shrugged. "Or they could be wonderful."
"Be real."
"I am, Katniss. Peeta is a baker, not a miner – I think you'll find their mortality rates are a lot lower. And the Capitol is gone, Snow is gone…they're not coming back. We'll never have to live like that. Peeta would give you a good life and cute, round faced little children…they'd always have bread and cookies to eat. And they'd have me for a healer if they got sick, and a kind grandfather. And you could be married to the sweet, thoughtful baker that smells like sugar and cinnamon and basically offered himself up to be whipped in your place. Peeta would be so good to you – he already is. I guess I just don't see what's wrong with wanting something like that. It sounds like a beautiful life," Prim sighed. "You deserve a beautiful life after everything we've been dealt."
Katniss was quiet for a moment, just thinking. Prim had painted a pretty picture of how things could be, but there was no guarantee. "Always such a romantic," she sighed, elbowing her.
Prim snorted. "Come on, Katniss. Things change. You didn't want things like that before the war and before….well, Peeta. But now we're allowed to want things. It's not like a normal life is a dream anymore. "
"Then what is it?"
Prim turned her head, barely having to look up at her to meet her eyes. She'd grown so much over the past winter. Her eyes were clear and blue as she stared back at Katniss.
"It's a possibility."
Katniss didn't protest as Peeta's hand found hers, his strong fingers winding their hands together. He'd already gained back almost all the weight he'd lost over the winter. His days were spent in her mother's tiny kitchen, baking away so that he and his father could still sell their highly-desired breads and cookies. Instead of using a bakery, Peeta and his father had become staples at the Hob the past month. They'd struck up a deal with several other vendors to buy the bulk of what flour and sugar remained in Twelve and they'd spent hours coming up with recipes and ideas to make it last until the trains were repaired. Now that the rainy spring was almost over it was time to focus on rebuilding. They couldn't bake out of her mother's kitchen forever.
"What do you think?"
Gale and his crew of friends had done a final sweep of the bakery rubble – they'd moved the big pieces out of the way with some teamwork, and all that was left to do now was to clean up the glass and smaller pieces of brick. It wouldn't be easy – she could see the cleanup taking them weeks to finish before Peeta and his father could start rebuilding.
"It's a mess, but…I think I can do it. I'll rebuild. Maybe make some improvements. But I can manage."
She squeezed his hand in hers. "I can help."
Peeta frowned. "You don't have to do that…the fences are off, you can hunt. You should do that. People need food and….you're so good at it."
She shrugged. "I can hunt in the mornings and help you in the afternoon. I don't mind."
"This is a huge mess," he chuckled, motioning to the pile of rubble with his free hand. "You'd be crazy to want to help me sort through all this."
Peeta's words were lighthearted and joking, but she could hear the pain laced in them through his warm smile. She squeezed his hand again. "I"ll tell you the same thing you said to me when I called you crazy for taking that lashing for me in the square: don't be stupid," she said. "Of course I'm going to help you, Peeta."
"Don't be stupid," he chuckled. "Yeah, I did say that."
He was quiet a moment, staring at the rubble. "I think about that day all the time."
"I do too," she said softly.
"There was no way I was going to let that man whip you. For something as stupid as a dead turkey."
"It was a really good turkey though," she sighed. "Nice and fat."
He snorted out a quiet laugh pulling her to his side. His hand easily found its way to her side, winding against her hip and pulling her against him. He brushed a kiss against her temple and she felt herself relax against him.
"I'm going to rebuild this start over. If you want to help me, I'd love it. To new beginnings, right?"
She smiled and nodded. "To new beginnings."
Epilogue after this, then this story is complete! Finally! Be sure to add me to your list of authors, I plan to post something new and exciting later this summer once Shades is completed.
I have some new readers who have discovered this story - Hello! And of course, thank you to my ever faithful readers who have been with me since the start. This story started as a little 1shot that just went beautifully out of control and I thank you all for reading it.
Stay tuned for the Epilogue! : )
