OK so you are getting another early update, mainly because I'm not sure when I'll have time to give you another... being honest I kind of want this story over and done with now. I am getting very little feedback and have no clue as to why!
My life is super busy too and I'm struggling to fit this in with family, work and charity work... as promised I will finish this tale but my next story (if I write one) may not be posted for a while. (I may complete it before starting to publish that way there is no pressure to keep posting while I am really busy)
Anyway, let's not get ahead of ourselves... let us carry on with this tale that still needs concluded.
Enjoy :)
"Wake up Papa, it's just a dream... it's not real, you need to wake up, you are alright."
Killian lurched awake as the remnants of the nightmare skittered away from him but his babe's words of comfort still echoed in his head, something he was glad for right now. It would seem that she was trying to save him from yet more terror but he was still very confused, still not fully over what had been happening to him with Pan or even Devin when he thought about it... that damned rope had been back... was back... damn it. He was suddenly left gasping loudly and scrabbling at his throat at the very thought of it having been around his neck again. He was totally disorientated as to where he was as he sat up trying to fight off the encroaching panic... he was starting to lose his fight to stay in control when Devin's booming laugh nearly stole his breath away and his heart started thundering in his chest, the all too familiar dizzy feeling that accompanied this particular stage of his torture flooded him and he was suddenly left fighting off nausea too... Gods not again... why could this not be done with? Why could he not stop the Lost One from tormenting him?
"Hey, it's OK. I've got you... come on, you're alright, focus on me OK, there's no one here but me" Swan was suddenly there, pulling him into her warm embrace and he just folded himself into her arms as she lay back down taking him with her "You're home Killian, you're safe... it's OK, I've got you. You're alright."
He knew then where he was as the familiar scent of their cabin flooded him, they were back on the Jolly in their own bed. Swan's hand rubbed up and down his back as he lay in her arms still trying to settle his breathing. She just kept speaking in a low, calm tone that always seemed to help him. He wanted to reply, wanted to look at her and reassure her that he would be alright but he was just too tired to do anything other than lie there and take comfort from the woman he loved. Her strong heart beat pumped in his ear and he found himself getting lost in the sound... the constant thrum lulling him back into sleep once more.
The next time he awoke he was much calmer but it was still dark. The room was lit by the soft glow of Junior's lamp and he gave a soft smile, he knew that his Son had probably insisted that his Papa needed it more than he did... he was a good lad. Killian looked to the figure lying sleeping next to him and let his eyes slide closed with the smile still on his lips... Swan was still there, right by his side where he needed her, he was still safe and Pan was gone.
He suddenly gave a frown as he realized that he was lying on Swan's side of the bed but when he looked to his left it was to find that Whale must have been there at some point because he had been hooked back up to one of those saline bag things or whatever the hell it was that the Doc called it. He briefly wondered if that was the only thing that was flowing through him when he looked to the crook of his arm to see the tubing taped in place but he soon dismissed his fears knowing that Whale knew his stance on drugs in his system and would do nothing to go against his wishes.
He was a good friend.
Killian didn't really remember much after Pan had grabbed him in Wonderland. He had flashes of memory but mostly it was just a lot of muddled nonsense mixed with Devin's sneering tones so he tried not to think about it. They had won and that was all that mattered, they had won and they were home.
He lay for a while just watching the light dancing across the cabin ceiling from Junior's lamp but a noise by the door had him frowning when he couldn't see anyone there. The door was slightly ajar but no one entered and in the end he figured that it must have just been the door creaking with the movement of the ship.
He had literally just closed his eyes to try and go back to sleep when he heard another noise... he froze knowing that he most definitely had not imagined that one. He held his breath as he came up on to his elbow and squinted out into the darkness. He narrowed his eyes but couldn't see anything out of place.
"Meow" Socks was suddenly up on the bed, practically jumping in his face with a leaping bounce and Killian nearly jumped straight onto Swan at the unexpected arrival.
"Killian?" she gasped pulling herself up from sleep obviously thinking that he was having another nightmare but now that he realized what was going on he just flopped back against his pillows with a chuckle.
"Sorry Love" he said looking to his side to see her worried face watching him "It would seem that we have company that I was not expecting"
She looked confused for a second until she saw the kitten then her face softened "What are you doing in here you little monkey?"
"Scaring the life out of me" Killian laughed as he reached down to scratch behind the kitten's ear.
"Come on you" Swan suddenly said with a sigh as she started to pull back the blankets "You have a perfectly good bed in the hold"
"Leave her be Swan" Killian half whispered and when Swan looked at him with an eyebrow high on her head he tried to give her his best sad face as he added "She is only looking for comfort Love, something we all seek from time to time"
Swan rolled her eyes and scoffed "Enough of the puppy dog eyes Hook. That thing is not sleeping in my bed"
Killian gave a mock gasp and brought his hand up to try and cover the kitten's ears eliciting a loud purr from the beast "She is not a thing Swan, she is a living breathing creature with feelings and you have just offended her"
Killian could see a slight smirk pulling at Emma's lips as she carried on "I... offended her?"
"Aye" he replied looking to the kitten. He then had a sudden thought and he added with a grin "Besides, the babe wants her to stay"
Swan gave a laugh at that as she shuffled around so that she could sit cross legged at his side and face him "So now you're telling me Pip wants the kitten to stay"
"Aye" he replied with a cheeky grin
"OK, maybe I'll ask her myself" she immediately dropped her hand to her belly as she lent back on her other hand for support "OK Pipsqueak what you saying? You want Socks to stay?"
Hook nearly burst out laughing as she suddenly gave off a golden glow but instead of being annoyed Emma let out a laugh too as cried out "Why did I think that was a good idea? Of course she'd want the flea bag to stay... she's your kid"
Suddenly Killian found the humor gone and as he met her eyes with a serious look he mumbled "Aye... my kid"
"What's wrong?" Swan suddenly said with a frown quickly sitting forward to take up his hand.
"Nothing" he replied with a quick smile "It's just that... I... well I never ever thought that I would get this. I didn't think I was Father material"
"You are Killian, when will you believe it? You are the only one still doubting yourself you know."
He gave another quick smile before letting out a long sigh as his brain switched to another child that he needed to look out for "Perhaps but I do not know if I will ever be able to truly except my worth until I..." he let out another sigh and met her eyes "There is something I need to do Love"
"What?" she asked seriously giving his hand a squeeze in support
"Before we get married... before the babe is born. There is a wrong that I need to right."
Swan gave a slight smile and a let out a sigh of her own as she finally understood "Liam... your other Brother. You need to find him don't you?"
"Aye" was all he said, it was all that was needed.
Swan understood that this was something that he needed to do and she didn't try to talk him out of it, she just squeezed his hand again before snuggling back into his side and pulling up the blankets. The kitten settled herself on Killian's chest and started to wash her paws while purring loudly.
"There's something you need to know" Swan whispered against his chest a few minutes later
"What is it Love?" he asked with a frown, she sounded worried
"We couldn't put your half heart back into your chest" she sighed looking up at him
"Why?" he asked with a deep frown, suddenly feeling worried himself "Is Junior's heart alright?"
"Yeah, his is fine and back where it should be" her hand suddenly made it's way to the dolphin shaped scar on his chest and she gave a wry smile "but your little Princess' protection spell seems to be stopping us replacing yours... we'll figure it out Hook, we'll find a way to put it back I swear"
Relief flooded him as he realized his boy was alright and he gave her a lazy smile "It is fine Swan, I am not worried Love. I know that everything will work out just fine in the end."
They lay in silence for a few minutes just watching Socks' cleaning routine but Killian found himself grinning again when Swan whispered. "She's not sleeping in here every night Hook. I'll let her stay for tonight but you better not tell Junior. I told him that she was not allowed in the cabins under ANY circumstances so she better be gone by the time he gets up or we're in trouble."
"As you wish" he mumbled as sleep started to pull at him once more
There was silence for a few short moments before Swan whispered "Do you know where to start looking? For Liam I mean..."
Killian's eyes popped open and he frowned deeply as he gave it some thought "No Love and being completely honest I do not even know if I am looking for a boy or a man. Either scenario could be possible."
"We could ask Belle to help us if you want."
And there he had it, she had said "help us", she was going to be by his side every step of the way. Helping him wherever this took him and whatever the outcome.
"Aye" he whispered back "Sounds like a good idea to me Love"
"I'll call her in the morning then but your search will need to wait until you are feeling better Hook. You've been through a lot and you are nowhere near well enough for another adventure just yet, maybe wait until you're at least whole again."
"I have no intention of hurrying off so quickly" he reassured "I intend to take a few weeks to recuperate properly. After all, you and Whale have promised me a pain free hip and while you are at it I will ask you both to do the same for my arm if you could."
"It still hurting you?" she whispered as she started to trail her fingertips over the scar on his forearm
"A bit" he sighed letting his eyes slide closed "But I know I will be in safe hands all too soon. Perhaps after you have called Belle in the morning you could call Whale too"
"Uhm" she chuckled "I may wait until a bit later. He was... how can I say this without being gross? He was... lets just say... very happy to see Ginny and made it very clear that he would be unreachable for a while"
Killian gave a chuckle "I see. Well let them have their fun. They both deserve to be happy and from what I could see they really like each other"
Swan snuggled in further to his side and let out a contented sigh "Yeah and I have a feeling that Whale hasn't got a clue what he's let himself in for when it comes to Ginny"
"Aye, I imagine Captain Morgan Adams has more than a few tricks up her sleeve." Killian replied with a laugh
"Oh my God, she's gonna eat him alive isn't she?" Swan laughed back
"If he's lucky"
They were both still laughing when the door pushed open and Henry's head came into view "Sorry, I was just getting a drink and heard you two"
"It's OK Lad" Killian replied quickly beckoning him over "Come on in"
"I just wanted to make sure you were feeling better" Henry whispered as he tiptoed his way across the floor to the bed
"I am feeling a lot better Henry, you need not worry about me"
"But I do" Henry replied with a deep frown "I... I don't know what I'd do without you Old Man"
"Hey" Sawn suddenly soothed sitting up and motioning for him to climb on the bed "Come on, there's always room in here for another"
Henry made his way to the foot of the bed before crawling his way up between them and lying down. Socks briefly got up from her position on Killian's chest and gave a few purrs before settling back down into a tiny ball and going back to sleep.
When Killian looked to Henry it was to see that his eyes were rimmed with redness, the lad had been crying. Had he been lying in bed worrying about him?
He gave the boy a smile and whispered "Just ask your Mother Henry, she will tell you that I am not lying. If there is one thing that I am good at it's..."
"Surviving" Henry finished with a smile of his own before frowning again "But even cats only have nine lives and you must be waaaaaaay past that by now"
"I'll admit that there have been some close calls but trust me Henry, I have it on very good authority that Zeus does not want me just yet so you are stuck with me, alright"
"Good" was all the boy said back. He looked like he was about to say something else when they were all looking at the door again and Killian broke out into a wide smile as Junior walked into the room clutching his bear and duck.
"You are awake Papa" he mumbled as he made his way over "May I join everyone for snuggles?"
"Sure Kid" Swan laughed before adding "I think I need to make this bed bigger permanently"
"Aye" Killian mused as Junior crawled up and tucked himself into Swan's side "Much bigger for when the babe arrives, I imagine that she will be keen to join us too"
"She is here now Papa" Junior giggled letting his hand wander over Swan's belly "Do you think she knows that we are with her?"
As if to answer the question, Swan gave off a slight glow making Junior grin. The Lad moved quickly to look at Killian but as he turned the smile fell from his face and he looked back to Swan with a gasp.
"Why is Socks in here Momma? You said that she was not allowed!"
Swan let out a long moan as she lent back in the pillows and Killian held back a laugh as he looked to Henry who was grinning too... Swan was going to kill him. Junior would never let this go and they all knew it. As if sensing that they were all talking about her the kitten was suddenly on the move, she got up, trotted her way across to Junior and started rubbing her head on him.
"She likes it in here Momma. She likes to be in the bed with us... she is only seeking comfort... she was lonely in the hold all by herself"
Killian grinned wider as Swan gave him a death glare... he raised an eyebrow and gave a slight shrug, what was he supposed to do? The kitten was there now, he couldn't just throw her from the room. He watched as Socks purred furiously while she wound herself around Junior and Henry's outstretched hands before giving a little "Murr" and making her way towards Swan.
"Oh no you don't" Swan cried out raising an eyebrow high on her head "Go rub yourself on your fan club"
"But she loves you Momma" Junior whispered looking up at her with wide eyes
"Yeah Mom" Henry added "She just wants you to scritch behind her ear"
"Yeah then it'll be "Feed Me, change my litter box, hug me, pet me..."oh God, I already do those things" Swan trailed off as the kitten just sat down and tipped it's head letting out a single meow. Swan let out a huge sigh and stretched out her hand "OK, you win... why do you have to be so God damned cute?"
Socks was suddenly on her feet and on the move again, she made her way up Emma's front and settled on her chest right above her heart. Swan looked like she was about to complain when she suddenly started glowing and the kitten started purring even louder.
"I didn't stand a chance did I?" she chuckled throwing her hand out in mock surrender "I am outnumbered four to one"
Killian, Henry and Junior just laughed as Swan shook her head with a smile on her face. Killian was happy, the happiest he had been in a while. He closed his eyes again as the pull of sleep got too strong to resist and he knew that he was the luckiest man alive.
He realized something else too as he lay there with his little family... he had been searching for a happy ending all this time but he now knew one thing for sure. With love in your heart there was no happy ending... love didn't simply end, it just grew into something so beautiful that words could not describe it. He could stop dreading that he would lose his because he now knew that it was impossible. Even after all he had been through, after all that he had endured at the hands of the bokor and Pan he was still here. Even after losing Liam for a second time he was still happy and his family was stronger than ever. He also knew that the bond he had with David was very real, they truly were Brothers to their very core... and Junior, well Junior had gained a second Mother and she was going to love him with all of her heart just as she would for the babe in Swan's belly.
He found himself grinning as the image of his little Princess came to him once more. She smiled at him and whispered.
"I love you Papa"
"I love you too Leia" he whispered back with a smile on his face.
"I like it Papa... Princess Leia it is... it is decided"
He snuggled down into his pillows with a sigh until he realized what he had said and before he knew it he was sitting upright in bed and it was morning. He blinked widely into the empty room as he thought about it... he had called the babe Leia and she had taken it as her name.
"Bloody hell" he mumbled rubbing his hand over his face "I don't think your Mother is going to be too happy about this Princess"
But he suddenly gave off a burst of bright light and that feeling of pure joy surged through him actually making him laugh out loud. He held the grin on his face as he flopped back onto the bed but the smile disappeared in an instant when Swan squawked from somewhere.
"HOOK... WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? WHY AM I LIT UP LIKE A DAMNED CHRSITMAS TREE? I KNOW IT'S YOU …. I CAN FEEL IT"
She suddenly burst through the door and he had to squint his eyes against the bright light
"Bloody hell, you weren't kidding Love. Can you not dial it down a touch" he cried out raising his hand to shield his face
"I'm not doing this, you two are" she cried out "What did you do?"
He cringed and shuffled on the bed as he looked away, suddenly becoming very interested in a lose thread on his blanket "I may have accidentally chosen a name for the babe as I slept..." He looked back up at her as the glow started to die down "I swear I did not mean to. It just came out as we were conversing and she seemed to like it"
He had expected her to fly off into a rage but instead the glow suddenly left her completely and she let her hands fall as she gasped "She came to you in your dreams again?"
"Aye Love" he replied with a sigh "It would seem that she likes to bring me comfort... watch over me so to say"
Swan dropped down onto the edge of the bed and sighed "I wish I could see her, I want to see what she looks like"
"You will Love. Give her time, she will find her way to you too but she knows that you are strong, you do not need her right now"
"I'd still like to see her though. I'm kinda jealous of Daddy Daughter bonding time" she replied with a smile before giving a little chuckle "So come on then, hit me with it. What hideous name do you two think we are using?"
He gave an unsure smile then simply said "The only one suitable for a Princess...Leia... after her Mother."
Swan jaw fell open and she gave a little gasp "Leia?!"
He nodded then said "I did not mean it Swan I swear, it just came out and she latched on to it, I..."
"Shhhhhhhh" Swan said raising her finger to his lips. She gave another little smile and whispered as a tear suddenly rolled down her cheek "I like it. Princess Leia it is... Leia, Hope, Milah Jones... God that's a bit of a mouthful"
"One that we can get used to" Killian grinned reaching up and tugging her hand into his. He dropped a kiss on it and met her eyes as he whispered in his most serious voice "I bloody love you Emma Swan."
"I know"
I swear I wrote this part before the events of the last few days, I had always known that Hope's name would be Leia and now... well now it seems even more fitting.
You were an inspiration to me my whole life... you taught me that Princess' could be beautiful and graceful yet kick ass when they needed too. You taught me that girls could be just as much of a hero as boys and you gave me confidence to be who I wanted to be, not what "the world" expected from a little girl. You may or may not have been responsible for more that a few torn up dresses that I got while battling some giant monster in a far off land or while running through the trees with an Ewok by my side... those were the best days of my childhood... ones that you helped bring to life.
So I say thank you, and May the Force be with you Princess.
R.I.P Carrie Fisher
