The sound of a thousand walkers hummed around the walls of Alexandria as Kate clutched her sword and made her way to the front entrance. She threw back the chainmail screen of the inner gate to expose the horde of dead that were clawing at Alexandria's door. She took a step back to stare at countless pairs of undead eyes. Her fingers brushed the hilt of her sword, releasing it from its place by her side with a beautiful melody that made her body relax and all thoughts fluttered from her mind like dandelion seeds catching in the wind.
Mindlessly stabbing walkers from the safety of a fence no longer seemed as repellent as it once had. She relished every blow and the sight of the bodies falling at her feet. The knowledge that it was one less to worry about appeased her in a way she was almost sure nothing else would. She wanted to kill them all and rid the world of the plague that was festering along every street and in every corner.
A hand gripped Kate's shoulder, pulling her away from the slaughter. "You're scaring folk," Rick whispered before he closed the screen. His eyes cast a long look around the town behind her but she didn't care. These people needed to be scared. They needed to learn how to fight. In fact, why was no one fighting or doing anything anyway?
"We can't just leave them out there… haven't you fucking learned anything by now?"
Rick clenched his jaw, "Daryl, Sasha, Abraham, Glenn, they'll be back and they'll lead them away. I wanna play it safe."
"Safe for you! Safe for these people! But not safe for them…" Kate's voice was raised to the point of hysterical as she pointed outside of the walls to where their missing friends were.
"You know Daryl, he'll be back and he'll know what to do. He'll do it right. There's not many people I'd trust with that."
Kate closed her eyes and held in the tears and the words that wanted to pour out of her. Rick didn't know that the others would return. He only hoped they would.
"He'll come back for you," Rick said softly as he placed his hand on her shoulder.
"It's not his choice," Kate whispered as her eyes met the constables. Her thoughts returned to Zach and dullness spread over her limbs as she sheaved her sword and slouched into her own arms.
"Daryl wouldn't want to see you like this," Carol said as appeared from behind Rick, cocking her head to the side while she looked Kate up and down. She could feel the stickiness of her blood stained clothes but it hardly seemed to matter anymore. Carols hand slipped into Kate's and with a gentle pull she walked her home.
Kate stepped through her front door and her eyes immediately rested on the bottom of the staircase. The body of the wild man and all the blood was gone, as if it had never happened. Kate felt the tender skin at her throat and she knew it had. Her eyes wandered to the kitchen where she had shared a final cup of tea with Zach only hours before. Now, Eugene was sitting there with the plateful of cookies and Erin who was stroking soothing lines along his back while they talked in hushed tones.
Carol pulled her upstairs, into the bathroom where she turned on the shower, "I'll give you some privacy."
The bathroom door clicked shut and Kate stared absently at Daryl's razor which was sitting next to the sink where he had left it this morning and she wondered how Zach had left his room. When you put down a book your reading or a pen or a comic book you're drawing, you never expect that you won't be picking it back up again.
The breath caught in Kate's throat as she glanced up to the mirror. The sight of the image staring back at her through the thin veil of steam made her recoil. Was that really her? She was hideous, her face, her hair, her everything was matted in blood. She needed to get it off her. Kate pulled at her clothes furiously. She couldn't bare the idea of having Zach's blood on her like this.
Kate fell into the shower and leaned her hands on the tiles as she closed her eyes to the swirls of red which were floating down the plug hole. Ignoring the thoughts that were torturing her mind was impossible. The tight pain in her chest began to work free as tears began to flow without restraint until she was sitting in the corner of the shower and feeling hollow.
"Kate…" Carols voice was gentle as she knocked on the door and Kate couldn't answer her even if she wanted to. "I'm coming in…" she said a little louder and the door opened slowly as the woman stepped in, turned off the shower and wrapped Kate in a towel before easing her off the floor and onto the bed.
Kate stared at her feet while Carol patted her hair down with another towel. "A lot of people died today…"
Kate opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Alexandria was home and it had been brutalised. She hadn't just lost Zach. Their little town had been tarnished. Carol picked up the hairbrush off the dressing table and ran her fingers over the bristles before she sat behind Kate and began to comb through the endless tangles in the brunettes hair.
"I thought I was faking it with these people… that it was us and them… but I saw Shelly…" as Carol spoke Kate turned to look at her and saw the glaze of tears covering her eyes. She'd never seen Carol looking so vulnerable, she didn't even think the woman had a soft side in her anymore, but there it was.
Kate wrapped her arms around the other woman and they held each other in a long comfortable silence as Kate stared at Daryl's shirt which was still tangled with her red dress in the exact position they had left them last night. The sky was dark now and he still wasn't back.
"I'm worried about Daryl… I think I fucked things up."
"Why?"
"He wanted us to get married last night but I couldn't let go. I always hold back… I think I fell in love with him the first time we ever kissed and I just… I wasted time. What if he doesn't come back?"
"He'll be back, I'm sure of it," Carol smiled and stoked Kate's face. "You get dressed. I need to talk to Rick about Morgan."
Kate picked Daryl's shirt off the floor and breathed in the musky smell that made her heart ache for him even more than it already was. More than ever Kate felt like she needed the safety of his arms wrapped around her. Kate thought about all the times he had wanted to rescue her and now he was lost when she needed him the most.
She pulled on Daryl's shirt and a pair of jeans before she tip toed down the stairs. Kate could hear Aaron and Eric's voices in the kitchen but she couldn't bare the idea of talking to anyone so she snuck outside and let her subconscious guide her to Zach. She knelt at the soft mound of dirt, squeezing a dirt clod in her hand before she began gently smoothing over the edges. "Zach," Kate spoke in less than a whisper. "I know you can't hear me but… I'm sorry."
Spencer hadn't planned on running into Kate but seeing her sitting on the ground all alone made him pleased that he had. The warm feeling of the scotch coursing through his veins had put him in high spirits despite the imminent death that was looming over Alexandria. He enjoyed the curve of Kate's body and was suddenly glad that Erin hadn't followed through with the plan yet.
"Good evening Ms Ashwood," Spencer purred before he swallowed another mouthful of his scotch. Kate's head whipped around to look at him and he strutted over to sit beside her. She drew back from him and he grit his teeth as he grabbed her forearm, "not so fast."
Kate tried to pull her arm away from him but Spencer tightened his grip, "come on… talk a while," he nodded towards the grave with a small smile, "you won't get much conversation from him."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she shouted, the look of disgust on her face made him snort.
"Forgive me..." Spencer bowed his head and held on even tighter to her arm. Even if she was a bitch she was still nice to look at. Spencer was used to beautiful women throwing themselves at his feet. Why wouldn't they? He was rich, handsome, and powerful. The perfect catch. But Kate looked repulsed, like he was a bug that needed squashing which made him seethe. Who the fuck did this woman think she was?
"Leave me alone!" Kate kicked him and he let go of her momentarily before grabbing her tightly once more. He wasn't finished with her yet.
"Why can't you leave me alone? Why can't you leave Erin alone?"
"She told you?" Spencer's nostrils flared as he threw Kate down and drank back another mouthful of his scotch to sooth him.
Kate began to scramble away and Spencer panicked. He didn't want her to leave, "she's a killer…"
Kate stopped moving and her eyes met his. He'd got her attention now and if there was anything he liked, it was attention. He used to spend his evenings at parties, surround by his friends and adoration. Now he had nothing to do but sit in the watch tower, be with his parents or in his shitty little apartment. At night he would sit there and stare out of the window at Kate's pretty little house. One night he even saw her fucking that dirty redneck while Spencer sat in his apartment alone and undesired. He had known in that moment, that he couldn't let them win, he couldn't let Daryl Dixon have the last laugh.
"I recognised her picture in the paper…" Spencer continued his story as he recalled the happy day he had found the article. "She was on trial for murder when the entire world went to hell."
Spencer stood up and paced towards the wall before he looked back at Kate, he was enjoying the theatrics of his storytelling now. "She convinced some degenerate employee to add an extra ingredient to her husband's ridiculously priced scotch…" he stared at the drink in his hand with a dark chuckle.
"That day he celebrated some big win in the office with three of his colleagues… you wanna hear the kicker?" he grinned his million dollar smile. "He never served the good stuff to anyone but himself and Erin's stupid little degenerate didn't know the difference between a 300 dollar bottle and a 30 dollar one," Spencer laughed out loud. "She killed 4 people that day and none of them her husband."
"That's terrible," Kate clutched her shirt collar and her brow furrowed.
"They'd be dead anyway, just like Zach, just like we're going to be," he leaned his head on the wall and the moans of the dead filled his ears. "Your… fiancé… should have been back hours ago…"
Spencer relished the idea of Daryl lying torn apart somewhere as he kneeled down next to Kate, "I'd say he's dead too…" He grabbed her chin and pulled her face close to his, "you're all alone."
Kate yanked her face from his hand and Spencer sat back on his heel with a satisfied laugh before he felt her fist connecting with his nose.
"Fuck," he growled as his hand reached for his face. "You fucking bitch!"
Spencer's hands wrapped around Kate's shoulders as he slammed her head into the ground. The world faded black and then her eyes fluttered open to see Spencer's scrunched up face hovering over her as he dug his fingers into her hair and yanked her head back. She lashed out wildly scraping her nails across his face as they struggled against each other. Then his head wilted and he fell down to the sharp twang of metal.
Kate pushed his slumped body away from her as her eyes met with Erin's and then the shovel she had used to hit Spencer with. "Is he dead?" Erin asked.
Kate's hand shook as her fingers found the pulse in his neck still beating. He wasn't dead but he was out cold.
"I followed you… I've been waiting… wanting… to talk to you all day…"
"About the people you killed?"
"This morning I came to tell you everything… I swear," she clutched the shovel to her chest. "Spencer wanted me to poison you... I couldn't do that." Erin was sobbing as she continued, "stealing supplies… coming in between you and Daryl… they were worth the price of my secret…"
"Poison me?" Kate looked at Spencer lying helpless on the ground while her hand touched the tender spot on her head where he had pushed her down.
"He said I had to do it or everyone would find out about me."
"Why didn't you just tell Deanna the truth in the beginning?"
"Spencer told me he'd make sure she would exile me… I saw her do it to some other people and I couldn't risk being sent outside of these walls… I know what I did was wrong but I didn't mean to… you didn't know my husband, he was a bad man-"
"I can't think about this right now," Kate's eyes remained locked on Spencer while a million thoughts ran through her mind. Shit, this man was a serious threat. Even after Daryl warning him away he was relentless. Maybe even crazy. Kate couldn't stop thinking, what if his plan had worked? What if he had poisoned her? Or Daryl? Or someone else by mistake?
Erin started sniffling even louder as she raised the shovel and began to bring it down on Spencer's head. Kate caught the pole in time to stop her but the force of it cracked hard against her arm and she doubled over as she bit back the scream of pain. "Hitting him will be too messy…" Kate determined unenthusiastically as she looked from Spencer to Erin. Keeping him alive would be messy too.
"Help me move him," Kate whispered and the two women grabbed hold of Spencer's arms to pull him through the shadows to the abandoned lookout platform on the west wall. Kate was trembling with every step as she questioned her decision.
Pulling Spencer's body up to the platform took everything they had and Kate breathed heavily as she looked over the wall at the throng of dead. Erin's gentle sobs made the ordeal even more unbearable and Kate told her, "you can leave."
"I have to do this."
Kate's eyes swept down to Spencer. In truth she wasn't trying to save Erin from the horror of what she was about to do to Spencer, she was trying to save herself from having someone witness the darkest levels of what she was capable of. Every fibre in her body told her that this was wrong.
In the back of her mind she kept thinking of Deanna. This was her son and the knowledge of that was weighing heavily on Kate's conscience. But this was the end of the world and Spencer had more than used up his second chances. There were no restraining orders, prison sentences or another town she could move to. All it took was her picturing Spencer hurting Daryl and she knew she could do the unthinkable. This was the only way she could ensure her group remained safe.
"It'll look like he fell." Kate's heart pounded heavily as she kneeled down with Erin to ease Spencer over the lip of the platform. He started to stir and the women shared a look of doubt but they didn't stop.
Spencer fell from the safety of Alexandria with a sickening thud and a hundred bloodthirsty heads turned their sights towards him as he was quickly blanketed by the dead.
"What now?" Erin stammered.
"Nothing. You can't say anything. He's gone… Deanna doesn't need to know the reasons why. She doesn't need to know that her son… what he was capable of."
"What about my past?"
"You have to live with it… this world is punishment enough… you answer to your conscience and I'll answer to mine."
