A/N: Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters, obviously, but I'm the one who makes them do all the weird stuff. I didn't get this to my beta on time, unfortunately, so this is all me. Sorry. Thank you for reading!


Chapter 51

I had a hole in the middle

Where the lightning went through it

Told my friends not to worry

I had a hole in the middle

Someone's sideshow wouldn't do it

I told my friends not to worry

Didn't want to be your ghost

Didn't want to be anyone's ghost

Didn't want to be your ghost

Didn't want to be anyone's ghost

But I don't want anybody else

I don't want anybody else

The National: Anyone's ghost


December

RPOV

The office is always extra crazy in the week before Christmas. It's as if everything is speeding up and slowing down at the same time. Everyone has a bag of things they want to get done before Christmas and are running around with a frantic look in their eyes. At the same time people are sneaking off to go shopping, or sit in front of their computers ordering things off the internet or try to keep up with the round of Christmas parties and Christmas lunches being thrown by associates and those we work with. I clench my teeth as my secretary buzzes me, because I don't want to lose my train of thought in the e-mail I'm just now writing.

"Ms. Hale, you have an unscheduled visitor here to see you, a Mr. Cullen." Heidi's voice is hesitant, as if she's not sure how to handle the situation. I feel as if someone dumped a bowl of egg toddy in my lap. Fucking hell! For a minute I consider screaming, but then I quickly gather my wits.

"Heidi, you have my schedule for the day. You know there isn't room for any unscheduled interruptions. Please inform Mr. Cullen that he will have to call and make an appointment like everybody else and ask him to leave. Don't disturb me unless it's urgent, please." My voice is icy and only a little annoyed. Heidi should be able to handle a situation like this. God knows that she's screened enough unwanted calls and visitors over the years.

"Yes, Ms. Hale." Heidi's voice is resigned. She knows that she's annoyed me and she will try not to do it again if she cares about her job. Over the past couple of months, Edward Cullen has proved to be a real pain in the ass, and Heidi is only one of many employees I have instructed to keep him away from me at all costs and not to mention his name to me anymore. What the fuck does he think he will accomplish by coming here, days before Christmas? That I'll give him Bella's contact information as a Christmas present?

He started out by calling the office. Secretaries took the calls and left me messages. I returned the first couple of calls, but when it became clear that he was only interested in talking to Bella and wasn't going to listen to reason, I told the office to screen his calls and emails. Then he started writing me letters at work. I read the first one. It was quite eloquent, and would have been touching if it hadn't been written by a spoiled fucking teenager, too full of himself for his own good. The ones that followed, I threw in the thrash.

Then I started getting personal messages conveyed through business acquaintances from Chicago who brought me manila envelopes with new letters telling me how imperative it was that he'd speak to Bella. The one that took the price was when a wife of one of the senior partners at the firm took me aside by the elbow at a dinner party and gently chastised me about how harshly I'd been treating that "wonderful Cullen boy." I wasn't surprised when letters started arriving at my apartment, but I wasn't particularly worried either. We have excellent security in our building, and Emmett stays over most nights. I also have a license for a concealed weapon, a handgun that I keep in my purse. And, as I said, Edward Cullen is just a spoiled fucking teenage stalker anyway.

I close my laptop and walk out into the lobby to greet the visitors for my eleven o'clock meeting, only to stop dead in my tracks. Edward is sitting on the sofa by the far wall, dressed neatly in black jeans, a white shirt with a green tie and a dark blazer. A bag is resting on the floor between his feet, and his hands are clasped on his knees. He looks interested but non-confrontational. We have security in the downstairs lobby, so at least I know he can't have brought any weapons with him.

He stands up as he sees me, trying to make eye contact, but I ignore him and focus completely on my guests, shaking hands and leading them through the glass doors to the conference room. Inside, I'm seething. What fucking nerve he has, coming here to my office unannounced! Only, to be fair, he may have announced his intentions in any of the letters or phone calls I've refused to receive.

When the meeting is finished, I walk back to my office and call Heidi.

"Is he still here?" She doesn't ask who I'm talking about, which is an answer in itself.

"Yes, Ms. Hale. He says he won't leave until he gets the chance to talk to you. He says it will only take five minutes of your time."

"Not interested. Heidi, tell him again that I want him to leave, and that if he doesn't you will have to call security and have him forcibly removed from the building." I think I hear a barely audible sigh in the receiver.

"Yes, Ms. Hale."

Fifteen minutes later, there's what can only be described as a commotion outside my office, and Heidi opens the door unannounced.

"Ms. Hale, I called security like you asked, but now Mr. Cullen has handcuffed himself to the sofa. They're saying they can't remove him."

"What?" I rise from my chair and half run out into the lobby. Two of the security guards from downstairs are standing over Edward, looking intimidating, but also at a loss for what to do. They're about twice his size, but I can see the problem. Edward has handcuffed his wrist to the steel piping of our modern waiting room sofa. It's an elegant but quite massive piece of furniture, and I'm not sure if it was taken here in one piece or put together on site when we moved in. I can see that it won't fit through the entrance doors, especially not with Edward as an attachable object. As far as I can see, there are only two possible solutions: break Edward's wrist or break the sofa. I suggest as much to the security staff. Edward just stares at me, pale but determined.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Hale, but we don't have the tools we'd need to be able to saw off the cuffs or the chain, or the steel piping on the sofa. You'll have to get someone professional over here to do the job, then we can carry him out for you."

"What about the keys?" I ask. "Have you searched him? There's got to be a set of keys to the handcuffs on his person somewhere." The security guys just look at each other. The taller one, an Afro-American in his forties, with the bulk and posture of a marine, rubs the back of his neck and smiles ruefully.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Hale, but he swallowed the key just as we got here. It'll probably be quicker to get a locksmith or an engineer with a metal saw or a pair of big pliers." I stare at Edward, incredulous.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Edward: did you really swallow the key?" Edward frowns at me, his mouth a stubborn line. He really is gorgeous in the most annoying way possible, even I can see it. I catch Heidi ogling him and give her the stink-eye until she sees me and scuttles back behind her desk.

I throw up my hands in the air, and tell Heidi to get Emmett on the phone.

"You can leave for now. I'll call you when we need some help getting him out of the building," I tell the security staff, who shuffle off, relieved that Edward and the couch is no longer their problem.

"It would be so much easier if you would just talk to me, Rosalie," I whirl around when I hear Edward's quiet voice. It's the first thing he's said to me since he came here, and I feel inexplicably enraged that he's only now chosen to open his mouth, after putting us all in this embarrassing situation. People are moving in and out of our offices all day. A couple of people awaiting their appointments have chosen to hover as far away from Edward as possible in our lobby, uncertain of just how unbalanced he's going to turn out to be.

"It's 'Ms. Hale' to you, Edward. And this will not get you what you want, trust me." I walk into my office and slam the door behind me, then take a couple of deep breaths before picking up the phone to take Emmett's call.

"What's up, baby? Missing me?" His chuckle is all I need to feel infinitesimally better.

"Always, big boy. But that's not why I'm calling right now. Edward Cullen has turned up and has handcuffed himself to a very expensive and very large piece of furniture in our lobby. Security needs some help in getting the handcuffs off him before they can carry him out of the building. Could you please help me? Do you have any tools with you where you are?"

Emmett sucks in a surprised breath, then starts laughing. I hold the phone away from my ear.

"I don't see what's so funny about this. It's a fucking inconvenience, and he's scaring our clients. Could you come right away, please?"

"Oh, yes, this is something I've got to see! I'll be there in 20 minutes, baby. Don't let him walk away before I get there!"

I huff, before ending the call. I'm grateful that Emmett has time to help us out, but I know I'll never hear the end of this. Edward has been calling Emmett, too, but Emmett is to honest to keep it from me and has told Edward that he wouldn't go behind my back. Still, I know that my big guy has a soft spot for this spoiled brat for some reason. He's been introducing Edward and Bella into the conversation a hundred different ways since their epic breakup in July, but I've always made it clear that it's over and done with so far as I'm concerned. Bella told me that she didn't want any contact with Edward, and I am only honoring her wishes. Emmett wouldn't dare to go against us both on this.

Half an hour later, there's a knock at the door and Heidi pops her head inside. "Mr. McCarthy is here for you, Ms. Hale." I walk into the lobby, and Emmett is on the floor by the sofa, looking through his bag of tools, talking to Edward. When I walk up, Emmett looks at me, serious.

"Hey. This kid flew all the way from Chicago just to talk to you for five minutes. Don't you think you could give him that much before they throw him out?" I cringe at the look on his face. I may be a hard woman, but I don't want Emmett to think of me as unfeeling or cold. I guess I can talk to Edward while Emmett pries him loose, but I don't want any witnesses. I turn to Heidi again.

"Heidi, could we get some privacy here for five minutes? Could you connect the phone to one of the other secretaries and stand guard outside the office to make sure no other visitors walk in?" Heidi quickly checks the calendar before replying.

"No one else is coming in before your three o'clock, , but I can wait outside until you tell me to come back. Will you call security yourself?" She nods to Edward, whose unruly hair is standing up in all directions right now, reflecting his flaky mood no doubt. I bet she would offer to take him home with her if she was free for the day. Suddenly I feel paranoid. Who knows how Edward will be able to sneak his way in behind my defenses? Fortunately, Bella's contact information is not something I keep on my company computer for just anyone to find.

After Heidi sends off an e-mail to ask the staff to stay clear of our lobby for the next ten minutes, due to a visit from a construction firm, she steps outside to the elevators, and we're finally on our own.

"So, Edward, what did you have to say to me?" I ask, folding my arms across my chest and standing over Edward with a frown on my face. I don't want to make this pleasant for him.

He looks up at me, completely unintimidated, and I long to slap his pretty face.

"Please, Rosalie, all I ask is that you give me an email-address or a phone number, any way that I can get a message off to Bella. I need to talk to her, to explain myself and ask her to forgive me. After that, I promise I won't bother her again."

I speak stiffly, trying to keep my bad temper reined in. "What could you possibly have to say to Bella that she needs to hear from you? She already knows who you are and what you've done. Nothing you could say would explain away the lies you told her or the danger you put her in. Bella is a teacher, Edward. She's worked around young people every day of her adult life, and she loves her work. She's a great teacher. She needs to be perceived as above reproach." I snort, struck by the ridiculousness of the situation. "Hell, she is so far above you morally that it's ridiculous, but appearances are all, unfortunately." I speak more slowly, for emphasis, fixing him with my gaze.

"Do you want to destroy her life by taking away something that makes her really happy? The best thing for her is if you stay away from her, as far away as possible, so that there can be no association between the two of you. And as far as this goes, you've put yourself in a dangerous position, Edward. Do you want me to call the police and report you for harassing me? I have plenty of proof that you've been acting like an unbalanced loon. How will that look on your perfect little pre-med record? Just stay in Chicago and get on with your life, then for all intents and purposes it will be as if you never existed."

Edward is white as a sheet, if with anger or exhaustion I can't tell. His voice is husky but clear.

"I would never do anything to hurt Bella, don't you get that? But as far as getting on with my life goes, you fail to see that I don't give a damn about my life without Bella. Hell, as far as I'm concerned, I don't have a life without Bella. She's everything to me, and I need to know that she's all right."

Emmett has been filing at the chain of the handcuffs, keeping it taut by holding Edward's arm away from the couch end. He glances at Edward and mumbles soothingly, "Don't worry, Edward, Bella is doing fine. Just give her time, that's all." He leans down and takes out a pair of huge pliers, standing up and positioning them above the chain. Edward stares up at him accusingly.

"You don't understand, neither of you do. What would you do if Rosalie were to suddenly disappear off the face of the earth, and you had no way of contacting her? Would you just move on to the next girl?"

Emmett shakes his head. "I wouldn't want to let her go, no. But the bottom line is, if a woman says no to you, you have to take no for an answer. Otherwise, you're just a creepy stalker." He flexes his arm muscles, and the chain snaps with a sharp cracking sound. Edward jerks his arm back, and holds it against his body as if the jolt of the chain breaking hurt his wrist.

"Are you okay, Edward?" Emmett asks, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I could try to get that cuff off of you, but I would be more comfortable doing it in my workshop where I have more protection and better tools for the job. Will you come with me, and we can talk some more?"

Edward stands up, and his mouth is twisted into something bitter while his eyes are sad.

"Rosalie, please, if you ever thought that what Bella had with me was worth something, please let me talk to her one last time. I won't stalk her. I just need to know how she's feeling, if she hates me. I want to explain myself before she lets me go."

I look at him for the longest time, and something stirs inside me. A memory of Bella as she was before Edward: a broken recluse hiding from the world, licking wounds that went deeper than I understood. Even after the shit hit the fan, Bella has been holding it together, much better than before. Maybe, in some small way, this is Edward's doing. I draw a deep breath.

"Okay, Edward, this is what we'll do. I will give you an email-address that only a handful of people know and that Bella will be able to abandon if she's uncomfortable getting emails from you. You can write to her, but it's entirely up to her if she wants to read what you write and reply, read it and not reply, or if she wants to throw it away on sight. She doesn't owe you anything. Are we clear on this?"

Edward gets up from the couch and looks at me with a crazy sort of hope flickering in his eyes, like the drowning man finally spotting a ship on the horizon.

"Anything you say, Rosalie. I'll accept whatever Bella decides to do. Just give me the chance to contact her, that's all I ask."

"And you'll stop harassing me now? Even if Bella doesn't reply? You won't come back ranting for more?"

Edward shakes his head solemnly. "I promise. No more."

Emmett puts his big arm around Edward's shoulder, giving him a one-armed man hug.

"She'll hold you to that, Eddie-boy," he says, smiling but yet serious. "And so will I. Now, let's get out of here, and see if we can get you out of that piece of jewelry before you have to fly back. Don't think it would look good in airport security. When are you leaving?"

Edward shrugs. "I have an open return ticket booked for tomorrow, but I was prepared to stay for longer if I had to." He looks over at me. "I left a note for my family. Did my Dad call you to warn you I was on my way?"

I shake my head no. "If he had, you would never have walked into the building." I frown, wondering why Dr. Cullen didn't call me to give me the heads-up. Then it strikes me; since I've told the staff to reject all attempts at contact from one Edward Cullen, they probably assumed it was him trying to sneak past when his father called. How ironic. Well, hopefully there won't be any need to ban the Cullen family anymore.

I write down Bella's email-address on a piece of stationery from Heidi's desk and give it to Edward.

"I'm trusting you to be a gentleman now, Edward, not an immature teenage stalker. If Bella doesn't want to have anything to do with you, it's her call, okay?"

Edward sighs, and his shoulders sag, if it's with relief that it's over or in defeat at the thought of facing rejection yet again, I don't know. He looks at me with a sort of quiet determination.

"Okay, but just so you know, I will see her again someday, even if I have to wait another five years for it to happen. You can't ban me from the entire United States for all eternity." I shake my head at his stubbornness. Why can't he just get over it and find himself a new little girlfriend to fuck? Maybe I should push Heidi on to him since she looks willing enough. At that very moment, Heidi walks into the room, looking relieved when she sees that Edward is no longer a permanent fixture in the lobby.

"Do you want me to call security again, Ms. Hale?" she asks me timidly. I shake my head.

"That won't be necessary. Mr. McCarthy here is escorting Mr. Cullen out of the building and I have decided not to press charges." I gesture to the piece of the handcuffs still attached to the sofa. "Oh, and when you have time, Emmett, could you send someone over to take care of that, too. We don't want to scare any prospective clients away."

Emmett smirks at me and picks up his bag of tools from the floor, as Edward slings his bag over his shoulder.

"Will do. Come on, Eddie, let's not outstay our welcome. Bye, Heidi!" I snort at Heidi's expression of unbridled lust as she watches the two hunks leaving the office together. It's ridiculous how much she reminds me of a horny Bambi right now. It must be those long, long legs. I frown at her as I sweep into my office.

"Oh, and Heidi, we will no longer be screening calls from anyone named Cullen, so you can take messages as usual and give them to me. And I really think you should think a little more about work appropriate clothing. Cleavage can be acceptable, and short skirts can be acceptable, too, but I don't want to see your bra and your panties on the same day, preferably. That's not why Victoria's Secret sells matching sets, you know?" I smirk to myself as I leave Heidi blushing behind her desk. All in all, it's not been such a bad day. Now, I only have to warn Bella. Or wait until she contacts me. If I'm lucky, Edward's plane will go down in flames and Bella will never be the wiser of what happened here today. Merry Christmas.

'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

E-mail from eacullen to BaSwan

Dec 20 2011

Subject: Please forgive me Bella.

Dear Bella,

Please don't freak out. Rosalie gave me this e-mail address, but don't think too badly of her for it. I've been making her life hell for the past months, calling her office, e-mailing her, writing letters, getting people who know her in Chicago to give her messages from me. She's yelled at me a lot, and called me a lot of colorful names. Well, you know Rosalie, you can fill in the blanks. Finally she said she would give me an e-mail address that you don't use frequently, and let you know that she'd given it to me. That way, you could choose to ignore my e-mails, or delete them on sight, or save them to use against me some day in the future when I get married, to show my bride what a deceitful bastard I really am. (Rosalie's words, not mine.)

Personally, I can't really see a future right now where I marry anyone, so I'm just going to risk it. I figure I deserve what's coming to me, so whatever you choose to do is fine by me. I just need to say some things to you, and I hope one day these words will reach you.

I'm more sorry than I can ever say for anything and everything I've done or said, or didn't do or didn't say, that hurt you. Hurting you is the very last thing I wanted to do. When I left Chicago on the run, I decided to tell people I was 21 to avoid problems. By the time I met you, I wasn't thinking about it anymore. I realized, much too late, that it might be important to you. You already know that you saved my life from the moment I met you, and I will never stop saying how much you mean to me, or acknowledge to anyone who will listen what a strong, brave, wonderful person I think you are.

Bella, I know that you have a strong inner moral compass that lets you know when people are wrong in what they do, but that this never stops you from having compassion with them all the same, and loving them. That compassion is maybe what made you stay with James much longer than he deserved, because you didn't stop hoping, even when you knew in your heart that what he did was wrong. So, now I'm hoping that, one day, that compassion will help you forgive me, in spite of what I've done. I hope that I'll be lucky enough to stand in front of you and have you yell at me, mad as hell. That would make me the happiest man on earth.

I know that you probably think of me as immature and irresponsible now. I know I have been. I'm trying to do better. I called Kate as you wished and told her I was quitting because I went home and that I didn't plan on coming back. She asked me about you but I told her to talk to Rosalie if she needed to talk to you. I hope that was okay. Since you haven't answered any of my calls I'm assuming you've changed your number.

Please know Bella that I think of you every day, and that I won't stop hoping that I'll see you again, as long as I know that we both still live and breathe. I love you.

Edward.


A/N: So, finally, a sort of progress. What did you think of Edward's strategy? And of Rosalie's response? What would you have done in his shoes? Please let me know what your feelings are!

Oh, and while I remember it, I have to ask you if you've seen hollelujah's epic fic Substance Clad in Shadows (id: 8957172) ? After a long hiatus, it's moving along again, towards its end. Check it out! Psychologically disturbed Bella goes after callous Edward, as one sexual predator after another. Can anything good ever come of this?