Here's a random weekday update! :)


Chapter Fifty-Two

Haymitch watched her quietly. The light from the moon had cast a soft glow on her face giving her a slightly ethereal aura. He approached her silently, not wishing to startle her.

"You alright?" he asked.

Effie glanced his way and continued to stare out of the bay window. The dazzling city lights that were always ablaze in the Capitol had always captured her attention. Twelve was a quiet, sleepy town but here, in the City, everything was alive and bright and vibrant. She just wished her mood was the same.

"I'm worried," she admitted the truth.

Haymitch joined her at the bay window, sitting across from her as Effie drew her knees up to her chest. She looked at him dolefully.

"You might as well be prepared for tomorrow," Haymitch told her. "There's a high chance that the papers will run pictures of the boys. They won't want to miss out on a chance like this."

"I know. I've been thinking about it," she sighed, "but I don't have to like it or be okay with it. I just… I wish there's something that we could do."

"The boys are always going to be of interest to the media, the way Katniss' and Peeta's daughter is. They're our children and with me working on the law, it'll just heighten the paparazzi's interest. It's something we have to deal with," Haymitch said, reaching out for her hand. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles.

"I wish we were nobody. We would be left alone then."

"We would but there's no point wishing for something that's never going to happen. Quit moping around," Haymitch poked her rib playfully. She swatted his hand away. "You'll be okay?"

"Yes," she managed a smile. "Will you stay here with me just for a bit?"

Haymitch lifted his shoulder in a careless shrug but opened up his arm to her. Effie scooted forward, snuggling up to him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Home," he nodded to the scenery outside. "The Capitol."

"Sometimes," she answered. "Twelve can be quiet on some days and I find myself thinking of how busy it was at the Capitol. There're more amenities here which make things easier and convenient for me, of course. I think that's what I miss the most – the convenience of buying anything I want without having to ship them in. But other than that… I don't miss it as much as I thought I would. I… I've made a life with you and the children in Twelve, and that's where home is for me."

Haymitch tightened his hold on her and rested his cheek on top of her head but said nothing. He watched the stars twinkled in the night sky and thought of the woman in his arms.

I've made a life with you.

They had been together for more than year and at the beginning of the marriage he had tried to distance himself as much as he could from her but Effie had become attached and dependent on him, even went as far as to think that she love him. And if he was truthful to himself, he had grown accustomed to having her around and it was making him uncomfortable. It worried him how reliant they were on each other.

You don't have to let her go, the treacherous part of him whispered.

His eyes strayed to his wife curled next to him. There was a time when the very picture or the very idea of her curled next to him was odd but it was no longer the case - to the casual observer, they looked like they belonged next to each other - and there was once a time when he did not know what to do with his hand when they were in this position but now, he liked to play with her hair. This felt peaceful to him and ….

"Effs," he spoke her name quietly. "What happened earlier at the train station wasn't the first time it happened."

Effie went rigid but Haymitch calmed her down by tracing random patterns on her arm.

"I need to know what will set you off, the triggers -"

"Nothing, Haymitch," Effie shook her head. "I was just under a little bit of pressure today, that's all. I panicked. Please don't worry about me."

"It was a close call at the train station. I don't want you to have an episode like that in public, sweetheart, I don't think you'd be very pleased if they run that sort of stories about you. But the twins are more important. What if the same thing happen while you're alone with them? I need to know how… Effs, I need to know what happened to you."

Effie bit her lip. "The presence of that reporter was unexpected. I felt overwhelmed. Nothing more. I don't think what happened to me is the issue here, Haymitch. That's history and there's no need to dredge unpleasant things again."

"That's bullshit," he scowled. Haymitch retracted his arm that was wound around her and shifted slightly so that he was facing her. "How am I supposed to help you prevent another episode like that from happening again when I don't know what Snow had done to you? Sweetheart, you need to be reasonable and – "

With a shake of her head, Effie began to close off from him. Her posture became tense and her lips were pressed into a thin line. "You can't help me. It's something I have to live with."

"Effs, come - " he threw his hand up in frustration as Effie hurried away from him and into the room. "You want to suffer in silence? Go right, ahead, sweetheart, be my guest, see how that'll turn out for you!"

XxX

" – and I quote, 'the law won't take 75 years to end'," Plutarch read out, glancing up to look at Haymitch pointedly. He was red in the face and as Haymitch sat on the sofa feeling chastised, he wondered how high Plutarch's blood pressure reading would be at this precise moment. "I don't know what you think you're doing, Haymitch, but this isn't how you talk to the press!"

With a huff, Haymitch snatched the paper from Plutarch's grasp, folded it in half and tossed it on the coffee table.

"Sit down, Plutarch, you look like you might explode," Haymitch snapped.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but weren't you the one who told me how the Council had launched an investigation into you previously and that President Paylor herself warned you of it," Plutarch asked and waited until Haymitch answered with a mumbled 'yes', before he continued. "When you say this kind of things, you're raising all kind of alarm bells with the Council. They'll think you're planning to be aggressive which is not what we're doing."

"He meant no harm by that, Plutarch. His intention was to get the message across to the Council that he won't give up," Effie chimed in. "Haymitch doesn't mean anything else by it."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Haymitch grumbled, "but I think I can answer for myself."

"I'm fairly certain that by this point, the Council understood that he is not going to give up. They get it," Plutarch answered, accepting the cup of tea from Effie. He sipped the tea slowly before getting up with a huff. "I will see to it that the President thinks nothing of it."

"Thank you," Effie touched his arm gratefully.

It wasn't long after Plutarch left that Haymitch picked the paper from where he had tossed it and spread it open. There was a deep scowl on his face the moment his eyes landed on the picture in the paper. It was of Effie kissing him by the train door just before they alighted. The fire burnt low in his stomach, fueling his rage. That was private, it was between him and Effie and now it was on the morning paper for people to feast their curiousity over breakfast.

It only got worst from then on. There was a photo of him shielding Tristan and Effie as best as he could from the camera, Felix lowering Ethan into his stroller and the last photo was of Effie with a frown on her face. He remembered that. It was right before she had started to panic.

The article was gibberish at best, filled with speculations about their marriage. Were they in love or barely tolerating each other? Where does the law stand in their marriage?

Haymitch snorted at that. The law was the very basis and foundation of their marriage and if the people running the papers did not know that then they have no business trying to guess the kind of relationship Haymitch and Effie has.

It amused him as he read on. Haymitch could almost feel the writer's confusion and frustration because by the end of the article, there was no concrete conclusion on why such a 'blissful family' with 'two healthy twin boys' would fight so hard to end the law.

It wasn't until Haymitch realized that there was a second article that his slow burning anger quickly roared into a blazing fire. In it, they had accused him of manipulating Effie into agreeing and supporting his cause. They speculated if he had blackmailed her in any way.

"Let me read something out to you, sweetheart," Haymitch said suddenly. "Sometimes you have to tear out a limb to save a body. What do you mean by that?"

"Why are you asking me this now?"

"Because it's in the papers – that's why."

Effie cleaned the coffee table, placing the teacups and saucers carefully into the tray before taking it back into the kitchen. Haymitch followed her.

"I asked you a question."

Effie leaned her hands on the kitchen sink with her back facing his. When she felt him coming closer, Effie turned around.

"Haymitch," she said with exaggerated patience, "can we not talk about this?"

Haymitch raised his hands up in annoyance and let it fall to his sides. He threw the paper on the kitchen counter.

"I'm trying to understand you here, Effie," he hissed. Then Haymitch straightened up and his eyes softened. "Did you even know you said that? That bit about tearing a limb and saving a body?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"I thought maybe you didn't remember because of … Well, it has to mean something if you said it, right? Tell me."

"Are we going to get a divorce?" she asked quietly.

"What?" he frowned, not at all prepared for the question. "You know we can't. The law - "

"But what if it becomes a viable option?"

"Effie," his voice was uncertain.

"I just need to know what I'm dealing with here, Haymitch. I need to know what's in it for me at the end of this," she sighed. Effie cupped his face and managed a weak smile. "I meant what I said when I told you that I'm on your side. That means I will help you with the law."

Haymitch nodded, pressing his cheek against the palm of her hand and kissing it.

"We never wanted this marriage and I know you never wanted this life," Effie said wistfully. "I'm also aware that your reasons to repeal this law started out mostly selfish. You wanted to be rid of me, didn't you? But things get complicated when I got pregnant."

The smile she gave him was so despondent it made his heart ache. He clasped the hand on his cheek and brought it to his chest where his heart was beating strongly but slightly out of rhythm from the sudden nervousness he felt.

"Effie – "

She shook her head to silence him.

"I know you, Haymitch, and I know you began to realize as you work on the law that it was not only just about us. You've told me this countless of time – there are people out there who needs our help and the only reason I'm helping you with this is because I want to help them, too. I can tell where this is all heading – when the law ends, you'll be free and you'll have no reason to stay – the story ends with us apart. When you scraped the law, there'll be consequences and your family is the limb you're tearing away."

It did not have to end with a divorce, she thought, but she had always prepared herself for that eventuality. If anyone was stupid it was her. Nothing good ever came out from loving someone who never felt the same.

"The children… I… need the children," the words tumbled out of his mouth.

Something in Effie broke when she heard that. She remembered a time, 9 months ago, when she had told him the meaning behind Tristan's name and she had requested only one thing from him – promise me you will love your sons the way you could never love me.

Whether or not he realized it, Haymitch had fulfilled what she asked of him. Admitting that he needed his children was as good a confession of love when it came to Haymitch. There was a sense of relief even if a part of her was crushed. She wished he could need her that way.

"We'll work something out. A joint custody is always an option," she said.

"Don't think…Let's not think that far, Effie. We can't abandon the appeal just like this."

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm not asking you to abandon your work. I'm just… We can't ignore this forever. Maybe you don't want to think that far down the road but I have to. I need to know what will happen to our family and I need to prepare myself for it."

"Sweetheart," his thumb stroked her cheek, "you deserve a far better life after what you went through. You're a good person and I'm a horrid man to… love."

Effie chuckled bitterly.

"I don't think you understand the concept of loving someone, Haymitch," she shook her head. "It's my choice. You get to choose who you love and for me, that's you. And for you, it's her."

"Don't bring that up. This isn't about – "

"It'll always be about her," her voice quavered just a little. "I don't know how else to say it, Haymitch, but she's gone. I know you loved her but she's been gone for years and I could still feel her presence around because …" she eyes flitted to the open collar of his shirt where bits from the silver chain around his neck gleamed under the light. She knew what hung at the end of it – the pendant he received the day of his reaping from his girl.

Having nothing else to say and knowing just how much Haymitch detested talking about the people in his past, Effie let out a heavy sigh and left him standing in the kitchen. It was better not to aggravate him.

XxX

That was the second time within the space of twenty four hours that Effie walked out on him. She never saw the way his hand crept up to the chain around his neck or how he pulled on it angrily. His thumb brushed against the clumsy engraving on the pendant, remembering a time years ago when he was sure he was going to meet a certain death and would never be able to see Myra's face again. He had been so desperate to commit her face to memory just before the Peacekeepers took him away for the Games. He used to be able to remember every details of her and when he closed his eyes, he could see her, his brother and his mother as clearly as if they were standing right in front of him.

The years had dulled his memories and even the way Myra look when she smiled at him became a faded image. Haymitch closed his eyes and breathed in deeply through his nose, and the image of Effie smiling was the only thing he could remember.

Haymitch balled the chain into his fist and jammed it into his pocket. When they returned home, he stashed it in the attic, a place where he kept things he never wanted to see again.


The third appeal was supposed to be in this chapter and some other slightly fluffy (and i use this word loosely) hayffie things but it got too long and I feel that it will ruin the angsty mood so i separated them. I' know i usually update over the weekend so I'll try to get the next chapter up then. In the meantime, do review! :)

A/N: To Cathy – I've never mentioned the twins middle name so don't worry, you didn't miss out on anything.