AN:/ TWINS= 1y 12m

Starrystars'Unloked ~What do mean by 'what's holding John back?' And Illyria's people, one ancient in particular, will help her.

Kiren ~ Refresh my memory, who are you talking about when you said, 'Still wondering where's Samuel'?

Illyria is lying on a bed with her eyes closed, wearing a nasal canula. A green light passes downwards across her face; a scanner which is running down the length of the bed. The bed and a small area surrounding it are sealed inside a clear isolation tent in the Atlantis Infirmary. A medic in a Hazmat suit is standing near the bed looking at a screen. Outside the tent, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard walks over and looks in at Illyria. Behind him, Doctor Rodney McKay and Doctor Jenifer Keller are looking at another screen.
"What've you got, Doc?" John asked.
Keller glances round at him before turning back to the screen. "It's gettin' worse." she turns to face John. "We're losing her. "
Commander Julian Barrett and Ronon Dex are looking at the screen which shows the images from the scanner. The screen shows Illyria's skeleton and lots of small red dots. The dots are all through her body, but a larger number is clustered in her brain.
"Those are all nanites?" Julian asked, turning to Keller.
"Yes. They've spread throughout her entire body."
"How much time does she have?" John asked, keeping a watchful eye on his wife.
"I don't think their intention is to kill her. If that were the case, they could have easily done it already."
"So they're attempting to assimilate her - to transform her into one of them?" McKay asked.
"Yep." Keller said, folding her arms.
"This is how they replicate?" Julian asked, amazed.
"How do we stop them?" Ronon asked. "Do like we did the first time Weir….the first time Weir was infected?"
John nodded. "E.M.P."
"I'm afraid we're well beyond that possibility now, Colonel." Keller said. "The only way now is McKay's kill-switch. Looking at the scan, the nanites have literally bonded to neurons and other cells throughout her central nervous system."

"If we attempt to disable them, we'll likely end up killing her along with them." Julian said.
"Look, it's not the perfect idea here," McKay looked over at John, "but we're all out of other options."

"Colonel…" Keller said softly. John slowly turned around to face them. "It's up to you now. What would you like us to do?"

John didn't answer right away; he spent a few moments looking over his team. Few were hopeful, others were anguished thinking of the possible loss of another friend only a month after Weir's "disappearance".

John turned back to his wife, grasping the rail in front of him, and quietly said, "Flip the switch."

҉

LATER

Illyria has been moved to a separate wing of the infirmary for privacy and safety. As McKay set up computers, Julian, Ronon, and Keller stood by and watched. John walked in with the twins on either hip. John must have told them the news, because there were tear tracks on both their faces.

"Hey." Keller said softly, offering a smile.

"Hey." John said back.

"What you tell them?" Ronon asked, offering to take Jen from him. John handed her over.

"That it was time to say goodbye."

"Do they understand what's going on?" Julian asked.

"Doubt it since they're, what, almost two?" McKay said absently. He looked up to see them all glaring at him to some degree. "Sorry."

"Daddy…" Patrick said, squirming in John's arm. "Down."

John softly chuckled and placed him on the ground. Jen saw and looked up at Ronon sweetly, "Wono…down?"

Julian and Keller looked away, trying their best to hid their smiles at Jen's pronunciation of Ronon's name. Ronon smiled and put her down. Pat held out his hand for Jen to take it. She did and they waddled off to Illyria's bedside, unnoticed by the adults.

"Done!" McKay said, walking around the table with his tablet to join the others.

"Try not to look so happy." Ronon told him.

"Trust me; nothing about this makes me happy." McKay said, looking down at his tablet.

"How long will it take for the program to-to…" John trailed.

"Not that long."

"Thankfully," Keller said, "she'll go quickly once the nanites are neutralized."

"Good." John nodded. "Let's get this over with, she doesn't need to suffer any longer."

"Alright…" Rodney said, anguished. He typed on his tablet some more but stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Ronon asked.

"I press this last button and she's gone." McKay said, looking over at John.

"Believe me, Rodney, I know." John said. "Do it."

Rodney took in a shaky breath and looked back down at his tablet, his index finger hovering above the last button. He shut his eyes tightly and pressed the button.

A white light filled the room.

҉

LATER

John and Ronon are swiftly leading the way down the corridor. Keller is pushing a bed with Illyria on it while Rodney and Julian are moving people out of the way up a head.

"We have to get to the infirmary. Illyria's been exposed to radiation." Keller explained to John. "Have a medical team meet us on the way."

"Medical team to Alpha Two. Repeat, medical team to Alpha Two." Julian said into his radio, pulling a couple of scientists out of the way.

"Colonel, what happened?" Colonel Carter asked, coming into the hall.

"The details are a little sketchy!"

A couple of medical technicians meet them on the way. Keller pulls the bed away from them. "Don't touch her! She may still be radioactive." Keller rolls the bed into the infirmary and signals to her nurses. "Let's get her scrubbed down." Keller stops in the doorway and turns to face McKay. "Do we know what kind and how much?"

"Nanites went radioactive. I think his head was exposed to the equivalent of over eight to nine grays of neutron radiation resulting from direct contact. Full body exposure of over seven."

"Oh, my God." Keller whispered.

"Doctor?" Sam asked, stepping into the infirmary.

"It's a lethal dose, Colonel."

҉

BRIEFING ROOM

Sam enters the room and sits down at the table where John, McKay, Julian, and Ronon are already gathered.

"Dr. Keller tells me there's nothing more we can do for Illyria at the moment, although she says the nanites are gone. In the meantime, tell me what happened."

John gestures for McKay to start. "Well, as you know, we were about to flip the switch on the nanites in Illyria's body, resulting in her death. I typed in the last bits of the code and hit the button. Then there was a bright flash of white light, blinding all of us for a few moments. When we regained our site, I looked over the program to see what went wrong as Dr. Keller went to check on Illyria's vitals. That's when she noticed the radiation. I don't know how, but the nanites went nuclear."

"How is that even possible?" John asked.

"McKay screwed up." Ronon said.

"I did not screw up!" McKay yelled. "It was not my fault the program glitched."

"So it was a glitch?" Sam asked.

"We can't say for certain either way until we take a look at it." Julian quickly stepped in.

"'We'?" Rodney asked.

"Yes, 'we'." Julian said.

"Colonel Sheppard? Colonel Carter?" Keller said over the radio.

"What is it, Doctor Keller?" Sam asked.

"She's awake and asking for you." Before Keller could finish her sentence, John and Ronon were up and racing for the door.

҉

INFIRMARY

Illyria is sitting on the bed wearing a white infirmary clothing. John was sitting in the chair beside her, Ronon was leaning against the nearest wall, Rodney and Julian sat in rolly-chairs, and Sam and Keller stood in front of her, explain what will happen.

"The nausea will be followed be tremors, convulsions and something called ataxia. Surface tissue, brain tissue and internal organs will inflame and degrade; I believe that's called necrosis." Sam said and Keller nodded and took over.

"Now based on the dose of radiation you got, all that will happen in the next ten to fifteen hours, and if you don't drown in your own fluids first, you will bleed to death, and there is no medical treatment to prevent that."

"Maybe not that we know of." John said.

"John, we don't go running to our offworld allies every time an individual's life is at stake. And don't go telling me that this is any different, because my life is no more valuable than anybody else's." Illyria said.

"What happened?" Ronon asked.

"It doesn't matter." Illyria said, shaking her head.

"Yes, it does." John said, standing. "Like if your nanites tried to sabotage anything."

"There was an accident. I could feel them….and then I couldn't."

"And you're okay with this?" Sam asked.

"No. But there's not much you can do about that." Illyria smiled pathetically.

"Yes, there is." John said adamantly.

"What? Put more nanites in me?" Rodney ducked his head. "They did their job repairing me and when they were being threatened, they made sure I would go with them."

҉

CONFERENCE ROOM

Sam rises from behind her desk as John walks in. "The Asgard are still not responding. We've tried to reach the Tok'ra, but…"

"Colonel, Earth does have intelligence on a sarcophagus."

"SG3's mission report two months ago." Sam raised her eye brow.

"Yes, ma'am."

"We both know the negative effects of that technology, Colonel."

"But Illyria's never been in one. Once isn't going to hurt."

"However, SG-3's report clearly indicated that the sarcophagus is heavily guarded and likely retrieving it would result in significant casualties, which is why General Landry did not order a recovery mission at the time."

"Ma'am-"

"Colonel, please don't think you're alone in your feelings on this matter."

"Yes, ma'am."

҉

McKAYS LAB

He's studying the readout on a computer screen as Jack walks in. "Got anything?"

"Well I've been doing some calculations."

"Anything to help Illyira?"

"I wish. Based on the amount of radiation Keller says Illyira's was exposed to, I've estimated the amount of energy that would have been generated by the nanites."

"And?"

"The potential's astronomical. Even a very small amount of the unstable element emitted a pulse of energy far greater than anything I've ever believed possible. Much more than weapons grade naquadah would have. It would require a massive nuclear reaction to even approach this level."

"So?"

"We have to get some of this element."

҉

BRIEFING ROOM

Carter, John, McKay, and Ronon are once again sitting at the table.

"By now we believe that the nanites were reprogramed to do this in case of destruction?"

McKay nodded. "Yes. When Illyria was somehow infected with nanites when the replicators attacked Atlantis, her nanites must have been specifically designed to do this. Most likely to kill us all if the replicators themselves couldn't?"

"None of this bodes well for diplomatic relations." Sam said sarcastically.

"This is Illyira's life." John said, reminding them of their goal.

"I know how you feel because I feel the same way, but I cannot stress enough how valuable this element could be." McKay said.

"Would it help Illyira?" Ronon asked.

"Yes…maybe," McKay sighed, "I don't know."

"What would you have me do, Rodney, draft a letter to the replicators?" Sam asked.

"No, we go back there and get us some." Ronon said.

"We don't even know what 'it' is." John said.

"The colonel's right. No one is going back there after what happened with Doctor Weir." Sam said.

"Fine." McKay said and Ronon glared.

"For right now, all your efforts should be focused on ways to help her. If you figure out something helpful, then we'll talk."

҉

INFIRMARY

A nurse is changing Illyria's head bandages. McKay is sitting in the observation room, and Keller walks up behind him.

"She looks awful." McKay said.

"It's gonna get a lot worse, and it's gonna happen fast."

"You sure you're doing everything you can?"

"Sedatives and painkillers, that's all we can really do. You have no idea how painful this is going to get. You know, I would never normally say this, it goes against everything I've been trained to do, but the truth is she'd be a lot better off if I…" Keller shook her head and walked off.

All of the sudden, McKay's face lit up and he raced off.

҉

SOMEWHERE IN ATLANTIS

McKay opens a crate and takes out the Goa'uld healing device Sam got from Kendra on Cimmeria.

"What are you doing?" A voice behind McKay startles him, making him nearly drop the device.

McKay turned around to see a very pretty scientist standing in the doorway, her hand on her hips. He and held up the device, pointing at it. "Uh, oh, this?"

"Yes. That." She walked up towards him. "Where are you going with that? I'm not finished with 6 months of research."

"Yeah, well, I'm trying to save a life, so," He moved her aside and smiled, "my works more important."

҉

INFIRMARY

Carter enters Illyria's room while McKay, John, and Ronon watch from the observation room.

"Illyria, I didn't suggest this before because, well, the truth is, I'm not really sure if this will work. I could make things worse." Sam said.

Illyria nods. Carter looks at Keller, who gives her a tiny smile. Then she holds the device over Illyria, closing her eyes in concentration, and it begins to glow. For a moment it seems to be working, and then Illyria goes into a seizure.

"She's seizing. Get the crash cart; give me five of Valium." Keller called.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Sam said as she was moved away by a team of medics.

"Help me get her on her side." Two nurses roll her on her side as Keller sticks a needle in. "Valium's in. Stand by with the ambu bag, draw two grams of magnesium sulphate. Put her back, easy."

The light around Illyria slowly fades, cueing an internal dream sequence. Dream Illyria is dressed in traditional white Ancient gown, walking from the dark back into the light. She finds herself in the Gate Room, where a man in white stands on the ramp.

"Your fate is in your hands." He said.

"Breen…" Illyria gasped.

҉

INFIRMARY

Illyria is now almost completely covered in bandages, including her face. John enters the room and sits down beside the bed.

"Hey, John." She muttered.

"Hey. I uh, I just wanted to… I'm really bad at this." He shook his head.

"Yes, you are. How are the kids, I just heard they were there. Are they-"

"There're fine, honey." John smiled and fished around in his pocket. "In fact…when Jen and Pat heard you were here, they insisted I give this to you." He pulled out a piece of paper and held it in front of her. One the paper were two crudely drawn figures holding hands with the sun shining above them. "Nearly two and they know how to draw."

"It's beautiful." Illyria smiled with her eyes. "I hear you've been hard on Carter." John looked away and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "John…she'd in a tough position."

"I don't care what's at stake, we're gonna get you outa this."

"Didn't know you cared." Illyria said jokingly.

"Because, despite the fact that you've been a terrific pain in the ass, I may have, might have, uh, grown to admire you a little, I think."

"Now that's touching." Illyria chuckled.

"This will not be your last act on official record."

"Breen…"

"What?"

҉

DREAM SEQUENCE

GATE ROOM

"Breen… you look different."

"Lightning flashes, sparks shower, in one blink of your eyes you have missed seeing." Breen smiled. "You look different too."

"Right. What did you mean when you said my fate is in my hands?"

"When the mind is enlightened, the spirit is freed and the body matters not."

"Ascension? Rising to a different plane of existence. Are you saying that I could do that? Become like the rest of our people?"

"You must complete the journey we began as children. Only then will you be able to find your way to the Great Path."

"What do I do?" Illyira stormed up to him.

Breen took both her hands in his, rubbing the backs with his palm. "Release your burden."

"Consider it released. What's Step Two?"

Breen chuckled and kissed her hand, walking away. "A tall man cannot hide in the short grass, Illyria."

"I really don't have time for one of these kind of conversations, Breen."

"One cannot reach enlightenment by running from death." Breen sat down in the middle of the gate, fiddling with the necklace he gave John on the Aurora.

"Tell me what to do."

"Many roads lead to the Great Path. Only the willing will find their way."

"I'm willing. Do your thing. Glow me."

Breen smiles widely. "As much fun as that sounds," Illyria rolled her eyes and bit back her smile, "but we don't have time for that. The river tells no lies, though standing on the shore, the dishonest man still hears them."

"Right. I didn't think it was gonna be that easy." Illyria goes over to Breen and sits beside him. "Millions could still die."

"The future is never certain, we know that better than most." Breen took her hand and kissed it. "You saved many without regard for your own life. I'm proud of you, but you believe your journey is still not over."

"I'm not entirely sure what the point of my journey so far has been. I mean, if this is about being honest with yourself. I believe my entire life has been a failure."

Julian appears as part of Illyria's dream. "Just so you know, Carter hasn't had a change of heart."

҉

END DREAM SEQUENCE

INFIRMARY

Julian is sitting by an unconscious Illyria's bedside and continues to speak, starting to silently cry.

"You have an effect on people, Illyria. The way you look at things, it changed me too. I see what really matters. I don't know why we wait to tell people how we really feel; I waited too long to tell Marissa…"

Julian buries his face in one of his hands, and continues to cry.

҉

DREAM SEQUENCE

GATE ROOM

"You can never reach enlightenment if you do not believe you are worthy."

"Then I guess we may have a problem." Illyria smiled sarcastically.

҉

END DREAM SEQUENCE

INFIRMARY

Ronon enters as Keller finishes changing Illyria's bandages. He is holding an Atlantian funerary statue. Keller pats his arm as she leaves.

"You once gave me this. You said that its spirit would one day serve its owner in the afterlife." He puts it down on what turns out to be a desk in Dream Illyria's office.

҉

DREAM SEQUENCE

ILLYRIA'S OFFICE

Dream Illyria is sorting through some papers. "Thanks. I'm not dead yet, but…I guess it doesn't look so good right now."

"If you are to die, Illyria, I want you to know that I believe that the fight against the Wraith would have lost one of its greatest warriors."

҉

INFIRMARY

"And I will have lost one of my greatest friends." He raises his arm across his chest in a warrior's salute.

҉

DREAM SEQUENCE

ILLYRIA'S OFFICE

"Because it is so clear it takes a long time to realize it. If you immediately know the candlelight is fire-"

"-the meal was cooked a long time ago." Illyria said, patting Breen's knee. "Told me that before. I didn't know what it meant then and I still don't know now."

"Why do you feel you have failed on your journey? You saved our people and the lives of the Earth people."

"A lot of other people made it work, I was just supervising."

"The very next thing you did was help bring our two beautiful children into the world."

Dream Illyria is holding a picture of the twins and the scene around them flashed to when Illyr;a was giving birth.

"I had the chance to live out my life with you." Illyria looked at Breen and smiled sadly. "I couldn't leave it alone. I was the one that kept the fight going. What happened to you was my fault. I couldn't save you; I couldn't save Carson, Marissa, or Elizabeth. Every Wraith I helped eliminate, another one took its place. Maybe I did something good every now and again, but nothing I've ever done seems to have changed anything."

"These tasks of which you speak were great challenges. Perhaps they were even impossible to achieve." Breen nudged her with his shoulder. "Too much for one person to handel."

"Does that absolve me?"

"You feel your journey must continue until you have found redemption for these failures?"

"Not anymore, not if I'm dead."

"Exactly true."

"You said I was the only one qualified to judge myself? However much I want achievement enlightenment, what happens if I look at my life and I don't honestly believe I deserve it?"

"The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength with which you faced the challenges that have stood in your way."

"What if I can't?" Illyria whispered.

"The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better."

"Not enough."

"The universe is vast and we are so small. There is only one thing we can ever truly control."

"What's that?"

"Whether we are good," he held up one hand, "or evil," holding up the other.

Illyria turns to look at him.

҉

END DREAM SEQUENCE

BRIEFING ROOM

Carter is looking out the window and down into the Gate Room when the alarm suddenly goes off.

"Unauthorized incoming wormhole!" Chuck called out.

Sam headed for the control room.

҉

CONTROL ROOM

"Receiving Earth IDC, ma'am." Chuck reported.

"All defense teams on high alert." Sam ordered.

"High alert. Repeat, high alert." Chuck spoke into the mic. Soldiers enter the Gate Room and take positions facing the Stargate with their weapons drawn.

"Lower the shield." Sam instructed. The shield lowers and Jacob walks through. "Stand down."

Jacob walk into the room and Sam and John come to meet him.

"Sorry about that, Dad. Given what's been happening with earth lately, we had to be sure it was you."

"Understood. What's going on?"

"It's my wife, the Queen." John said.

҉

INFIRMARY

Jacob, Carter and John enter Illyria's room, where McKay and Keller have taken up positions around the bed.

"I tried this, but it didn't work." Sam hands her father the healing device.

"We'll do our best." Jacob activates the healing device for a moment, then stops. "Her condition is grave. I do not know if I can save her. And even if I can, I do not believe I can restore her full healthy state."

"Do what you can." John said.

Jacob activates the healing device again.

҉

DREAM SEQUENCE

GATE ROOM

Breen is walking towards the Stargate.

"You're leaving? You can't leave." Illyria sounded panicked.

"The rest is up to you." Breen shrugged.

"Why me? Why give me this chance?" Illyria teared up, gesturing to herself.

"Anyone can reach enlightenment. Anyone prepared to open their mind as you did when we first tried."

Illyria closed her eyes and swayed, whispering, "They're trying to save me. They're healing me, I can feel it."

Breen shrugged. "Then your journey will continue as before."

"What if I don't want it to? Not that way."

"Walking the Great Path brings great responsibility. You cannot fear it nor hesitate in your resolve."

"I understand." She looked up at him, absolute in her resolve. "I'm ready to go with you."

"Then stop them."

"How?"

҉

END DREAM SEQUENCE

INFIRMARY

Jacob is still healing Illyria. Dream Daniel appears and walks around the room, finally stopping next to John. She touches him on the shoulder, and they both travel instantly into the Dream Gate Room.

҉

DREAM SEQUENCE

GATE ROOM

"Illyria?" John asked, looking around him.

"Yeah." She weakly smiled, her lip quivering. "Tell Jacob to stop."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm ready to move on." Illyria said, her voice becoming shaky.

"You just giving up? On us? On the kids?"

"No, I'm not giving up, believe me." They both look at Breen, who is standing silently on the ramp. "You remember Breen?"

"Sure. Your dead ex-husband."

Suddenly two white lights appear beside Illyria. As the lights slowly begin to fade, they can see it's Pat and Jen. John's eyes go wide as he looks up at Breen.

"No. No-no-no. You can't take my children!"

"It's not me, Colonel Sheppard. It is their choice."

"Then stop it, Breen, please!" Illyria pleaded, pushing her children behind her and away from Breen.

He smiles sadly. "I'm sorry, but I can't." He changes into a glowing white being and goes to the Stargate, disappearing into it and leaving behind an open wormhole.

"No-no-no-no…" John said, clutching his head in his hands.

"John-"

"He can't take them. Not after taking you, he can't…"

"I think I can do more this way." Illyria whispered.

"What?"

"It's what I want. It's what the children what."

"They're only kids, for crying out loud, what do they know?"

Illyria closes her eyes, moving as if she is being tugged. "I have to go now. Everything's gonna be fine. Please, John. Tell Jacob to stop…."

"Illyria, I don't think I can do this."

"Yes, you can, John. You must." Illyria backs away and smiles down at her children. "Say goodbye to your Daddy."

"Bye, bye, Daddy." Pat said, reaching his hands up towards John. he bends down and hugs the boy around the neck.

"Bye, Daddy." Jen said and John pulled her in, too.

Illyria looks up at the ceiling, trying to blink away the tears. She looks back down at her family and says, "Alright, kids, it's time to go now."

The kids kiss either side of John's face and head towards the gate, looking back to wave goodbye before stepping though.

"John, I-" Illyria began to tear up when John pulled her into his arms. He rubbed her back as she bagan to cry, softly muttering sweet nothings into her hair.

҉

END DREAM SEQUENCE

INFIRMARY

Jacob is still healing Illyria.

"Jacob. Stop." John whispers loud enough for him to hear.

"Are you serious?"

"It's what she wants."

Jacob looks at Keller. "Someone else want to tell me what to do?"

"Just let her go…" John said.

Jacob stops. Illyria exhales heavily, and the EKG flatlines.

"Colonel?" Keller yells.

Illyria's body suddenly starts to glow, and she begins to ascend toward the ceiling as everyone watches.

҉

DREAM SEQUENCE

GATE ROOM

"I'm gonna miss you guys..." Illyria whispers, pulling back.

"Yeah, you too." He whispered back, still keeping hold of her hand.

"Thank you. For everything." Illyria starts to walk backwards towards the gate.

"See you around?" John said, letting the tears flow.

"I don't know." Illyria turns and walks towards the gate.

"Hey… where are you going?" John calls out.

"I don't know. But, John, I love you." Illyria walks through the Gate and disappears as John watches.

҉

END DREAM SEQUENCE

INFIRMARY

Illyria ascends through the ceiling.