Disclaimer: I don't own any of Rick Riordan's works or the game Cards Against Humanity.
Warning: if any of you are familiar with the game Cards Against Humanity, you have an idea of what to expect, though I tried to keep it relatively decent. To those who aren't familiar with it, be prepared for morally questionable, offensive, illegal, and/or downright dirty phrases. It's like Apples to Apples, except in a lot of cases the 'answers' are rated M.
Enjoy!
"How do we play this again?" Percy asked, staring at the two decks of cards.
"You take a black card, which has a sentence with a blank space that we'll have to fill in with a phrase from one of the white cards." Leo explained, having been the one to buy the game. "Some of them will have two blank spaces, and we'd choose two white cards for those ones. Whoever has the best or funniest wins the round."
"I get the feeling this is going to go badly." Will whispered to his boyfriend.
"Probably." Nico muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "But it might be entertaining."
"_: kid tested, mother-approved." Will read out.
Nico flicked through his cards with one hand, biting his lip thoughtfully, before snorting as he chose a card.
"Got it." The Son of Hades announced.
"Okay. Since the blank space is at the beginning of this one, just say the entire thing."
"A lifetime of sadness." –Calypso
"The violation of our most basic human rights." –Annabeth
"Do human rights even apply to us?" Leo wondered aloud. "We're only half-human, and Calypso's a full-on goddess.
The others frowned thoughtfully, before shrugging it off.
"The gods don't really grant us basic rights anyway, and no one in the mortal world would even know we aren't entirely human to take those rights away." Hazel pointed out.
She would've appreciated being granted the right to live.
The Daughter of Pluto would've liked to at least have the option of getting to know her father, but since him acknowledging her would force him to drag her back to the Underworld…
Sensing the dark path the group's thoughts had gone in, Percy continued.
"The homosexual agenda." The Son of Poseidon wriggled his fingers playfully at Nico and Will, who rolled their eyes at him.
Nico glanced at Annabeth, nodding in approval as the girl slapped her boyfriend upside the head before telling Nico to go.
"An Oedipus complex: kid tested, mother-approved." Nico read out his choice.
The entire group quieted, before Piper snorted, very un-Daughter of Aphrodite-like.
The others took that as their cue. Hazel and Jason blushed, Reyna shook her head, Frank, Calypso, and Annabeth shook their heads, Leo laughed uproariously, Will gaped in shock…
And of course, Percy looked confused.
Nothing new there.
"You win this round." Frank announced.
Nico bowed his head graciously, and they all drew another card.
Most groups wouldn't have thought that the funniest card, but considering the circumstances…
"In a world ravaged by _, our best bet is _."
"In a world ravaged by incest, our best bet is pulling out." –Percy
The group shook their heads. Only Percy would go so far as to offend the gods in a party game.
Honestly, it was a miracle the boy had survived this long.
"In a world ravaged by another goddamn vampire movie, our best bet is some god-damn peace and quiet." –Frank
Everyone in the room either shuddered, nodded emphatically, and for the lucky few, looked on obliviously with bemusement as the others assured them that Lady Fortuna had indeed smiled upon them.
"In a world ravaged by man meat, our best bet is tasteful sideboob." Piper grimaced as she read hers out. "Ick. None of my other cards would've made sense."
The boys glanced at their girlfriends thoughtfully, with the obvious exceptions of Nico and Will, the former of whom was glaring Stygian Iron daggers at his half-sister's boyfriend.
"Don't even think about it." He whispered quietly to Frank.
"In a world ravaged by Loki, the Trickster god, our best bet is explosions."
"Explosions are always our best bet." Leo nodded wisely.
Calypso just sighed as the other girls pat her on the shoulder.
Please review!
I got all of the sayings from actual cards in the game, so I didn't make them up. I tried to keep it PG-13, but I'm not sure I succeeded. Considering some of the dirtier and way more inappropriate/offensive cards (which is the entire point of the game), I think I did a fair job.
I might do another Cards Against Humanity one. A dirtier one, maybe? Depending on how dirty, I might have to make it a separate story and mark it as rated M. Not because the characters would be getting it on, but just because the cards probably would've be appropriate for this story, since it's rated T.
