Usual disclaimers apply.
Chapter 51
I groaned as Mama and Cesya came at me again. Mama held another mug of the worst tea I'd ever smelled or tasted and Ceysa had a bowl of freshly made poultice, the clean cloth to place on top of it, on her arm.
Mom had already put herself into position behind me and was supporting me, as well as being able to restrain my arms if needed. I had discovered the hard way, sick or not, I would not be allowed to interfere with my treatment.
Blushing once again as the button up shirt Mama changed me into was opened, I cursed under my breath as the old poultice was taken off, my chest washed, and the new one applied. The entire process took less than ten minutes, but felt like an eternity.
Finally buttoning my shirt again, I turned my head as Mama handed me the mug of tea, "Drink this little one," she directed for the third time that day.
"I don't want to," I whined. "It tastes worse than the sleeping tea, and that's pretty ripe. Not to mention it smells worse than a hog farm in July."
"Sam," Mama's voice was warning.
I shook my head, "No, I've changed my mind. It smells worse than a goat farm in August."
"Sammy, you have to do this."
"Nu-huh, I've already been slathered in enough goose grease for a full meal. I mean, how many geese had to die for these poultices anyway?" I coughed again and sighed as Mama took the mug from my shaking hand.
"I added more honey this time," she tried.
"You could add an entire hive's worth of honey and this would still taste like centaur dung."
Hearing a snort, my eyes followed the sound to see Cesya trying to stifle a laugh, "Oh the gods, she has the warrior's attitude and the bard's way with words." Smiling at me, she moved forward.
Taking the mug from Mama's hand, she sat on the edge of my bed. "I know this stuff tastes as bad, if not worse than it smells, but if you don't take this, your fever will get worse and you will be stuck in that bed in this hut for who knows how long."
Sighing, I looked at her warily, "You seriously think I have Mama's attitude and Mom's way with words?"
She nodded, laughing outright this time, "Yup."
"Okay, sweet talk worked this time, but I'm not going to make this any easier next time."
Handing me the mug, she held up a hand, "I wouldn't expect any less from you Sam." She said with a smile as I chugged the liquid with a grimace.
**XENA***BARD**XENA***BARD***XENA**BARD***XENA***
Walking out of my bedroom, I ran my hand over my face and yawned. I was finally feeling a bit better and realized that my parents joining ceremony was just a week away. Wondering if I would be well enough to attend, I was in search of one of my mothers to find out.
Entering the living area, I stopped short to see Cesya sitting on the overstuffed chair reading a scroll. "Cesya?"
Looking up, she frowned at me. "What are you doing out of bed?"
"I wanted to see my moms." I explained not moving.
"Well, they went to visit your sister and then talk to Ephiny about something. They'll be back soon, now you need to get back to bed."
I slowly shook my head and instead walked to the couch. "I'll just wait here for them." I insisted as I pulled the blanket I had brought with me tighter.
Frowning again, she stood and walked over to me. Placing her hand on my forehead and then the back of my neck, she shook her head. "Still too high to be out of bed, come on, back you go."
Narrowing my eyes and giving her my best impression of Mama's eyebrow, I shook my head, "No. You aren't either of my moms and you can't make me."
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way Sam," she began.
Raising my eyebrow again, I crossed my arms and gave her what was obviously a challenge to back up what she said. "Try it."
Shaking her head, she walked towards me, eyes determined and her body set to take me on.
**XENA***BARD**XENA***BARD***XENA**BARD***XENA***
"Samina Ephiny Bardos!" Mom's voice rang through the hut as I looked up from the scroll I was reading.
"Yes?"
"Why in Hades is Cesya tied to a chair?"
"She took me up on my challenge," I said simply.
"Challenge?" Mom asked as she moved to untie and ungag the healer.
"She said I had to go back to bed, I wanted to wait up for you. I told her to try and make me and she did." I smirked before coughing. "Obviously she lost." I commented through my cough.
"Cesya, are you okay?" Mom asked rubbing the woman's wrists to help with the circulation from being tied for so long.
The redhead nodded as she glared at me, "I'm fine. Embarrassed, but fine."
Turning, Mom's eyes were like fire. "Bedroom now young lady, and don't even think of coming out until you are told to do so."
"But I need to talk to you, it's important." I whined, making no move to leave the couch.
"Do as I say Samina," Mom directed again.
Once more raising my eyebrow and crossing my arms, I glared at her, "Make me."
Sniffling and rubbing my backside, I started to cough once more. Maybe challenging Mom had been a dumb move on my part, but I honestly didn't think she'd take the hairbrush to my backside when I was so sick.
Wondering where Mama was, I cried into my pillow as Cesya and Mom finished their chat in the other room. Finally hearing the door open, I turned to face my bedroom door and waited. I knew Mama would be in shortly and even though I was probably in trouble with her too, I wanted nothing more than to be surrounded by the familiar smell of leather and the feeling of safety that it brought.
Waiting for her footsteps, I was surprised when I didn't hear them. I had heard the low murmur of voices and knew that Mama must know what had happened by now, so I was confused when she didn't come to see me. Slipping from the bed once more, I headed to my door and opened it a crack. Slamming it shut, I threw myself onto my bed and buried myself under my covers. Starting to cough uncontrollably as I cried, I wished once more to be home.
"Little one?" Mama had entered my room and was sitting on the bed next to me. I made no move to join her, feeling betrayed by her once again. "Sam, talk to me."
"Go away, you're obviously too busy for me." Hacking again, I groaned as the pain from the cough forced me to sit up. I kept my back to her, but could do nothing when she reached out to rub my back gently.
Finally stopping, I gasped for air and leaned my head against the wall. "I'm fine, you don't have to stay with me."
"You don't sound fine Sam, and sick or not, the attitude needs to stop."
"Why, you gonna spank me too?" I asked. "The hairbrush is over there." I pointed toward the dresser before sliding back into the bed.
"Samina," Mama's was cut off by a loud scream in the next room, a loud crash, and an even louder curse by Mom.
"Go ahead, it's obvious she needs you more. She always needs you more." I pouted, turning from her once again and hugging my pillow closely.
"Your mom can handle Eve, we need to talk." Mama tried, once again to be cut off.
"Xena, a little help in here! Eve no biting! Dammit, that hurts!"
"You'd think an Amazon queen could take a bite from a baby," I muttered to the wall.
Hearing Mama mutter something in a language I didn't know, she took a deep breath before yelling, "I'm a little busy in here, take care of it- she's not even one, you're an Amazon queen for the gods' sake."
"She has your stubbornness, dammit Eve, I said no biting!"
"Damn, damn, damn!" Eve's voice chortled loudly from the other room as another crash sounded.
"Sorry my queen," Cesya's voice could barely be heard over the din.
"Xena, what is going on in here?" Mom arrived at the door, a screaming Eve held at arm's length, kicking and still trying to bite her.
"Your daughter is what's going on in here!" Mama snapped back before speaking in the foreign language again.
"Oh no you don't warrior, you are not, don't think for a moment, and would you stop cursing in Gaelic?"
"I don't want Eve picking up any other words she shouldn't know," Mama shot back.
"So instead you're teaching our oldest some new ones to teach her sister?"
"Our oldest isn't even wanting to acknowledge she has a sister, I don't think it's going to be a problem." Mama huffed as Eve stopped screaming and looked past her.
"Sam, my Sam!" She squealed with delight and began signing down.
"No Eve, Sam is sick, you can't go see her."
"Sam!" Eve wailed and clamped down as hard as she could on Mom's hand.
Mom screamed and managed to hold on despite what looked like a death grip from Eve's jaw.
Moving quickly, Mama pried Eve's mouth open and grabbed her from Mom. "Are you okay?" She asked looking at the wound on Mom's hand.
"It hurts Xena, your daughter has some bite."
Allowing Eve to scream again, Mama took Mom's hand and looked at it closely. "I need to get that cleaned up. I'm going to have Cesya take Eve to Mother or Ephiny."
Mom merely nodded and sat down on the foot of my bed. Watching Mama carry a now sobbing Eve out of my room, I sighed. "Are you really going to be okay?"
Mom nodded, "I will be." Turning to me, she said nothing for a few minutes. "Is what your Mama said true?"
"Which part?"
"The part about your sister."
I nodded slowly, "She ruins everything."
"Everything?" Mom asked quietly.
I nodded again, "Yeah. First, I get sent back two-thousand years. Then I never get to spend any time alone with you anymore…." I trailed off as Mom sighed.
"I'm sorry you feel that way Sam, but that's the way it is now. You are the older sister and sometimes you have to deal with life when your little sister messes it up."
"I'm always dealing with my life that she's messed up!" I protested.
"It may seem like that now, but when you're grown, it will be totally different. You know that Eve will eventually leave, go to spread Eli's word. How will you feel then, when you can't talk to her when you want to? What about sharing the fun things sisters share, have you thought of that?"
"What fun things?" I huffed. "I'm ten years older than she is, what on earth are we possibly going to share other than you and Mama?"
"How about your love of riding? Or the fact that you both will face challenges as our daughters? Have you thought of what you'll be able to teach her and what she may one day teach you?"
"Well, I've learned that biting can get you your way."
"Samina," Mom's voice was sharp. "The attitude stops now. You may be sick, and I understand that you are feeling a bit touchier than usual, but I have had enough disrespect from you today. Do you understand?"
Nodding, I wiped a tear from my face. "I just, I'm just so tired of all this." Allowing my elephant to materialize in my arms, I gave it a squeeze. "I don't want to forget, I'm afraid I'll forget them. Forget my life, everything that was important to me."
Moving towards me Mom took me into her arms and kissed the top of my head. "Oh Sammy, you won't ever forget them. They are a part of who you are, and we are still here. I know we aren't them, not the way you remember. Not the moms that you want so badly, but we are here and we love you. I know sometimes that doesn't seem enough, but if you can let go, if you can really give us a chance, you'd be surprised at how much it can help."
"I want to, but…" I trailed off again.
"But you're afraid that if you do, you'll be betraying their memory." Mama's voice joined us as she sat on the bed next to Mom.
Taking Mom's injured hand into hers, she focused on cleaning and dressing the wound as she spoke, "Sometimes you miss them so much you think you're going to burst inside. You want to lash out, to make everyone hurt as much as you do, but even when you manage to hurt them, to make them feel as badly as you, it doesn't help."
"And the more you push, the more you hurt them, the more you hurt yourself." Mom added turning to look at me once more.
"I know sometimes you just want it to be over, for the pain to go away, but it's not going to until you confront it Sammy."
"But it hurts, it hurts so much when I try to talk about it. I don't know how." I protested.
"You talk to us Sammy, just like we're doing now. Your mother and I almost killed each other before we learned to talk, to not keep secrets from one another. I don't ever want you to hurt as much as we did."
"As much as we hurt each other," Mama added. "We were lucky, Solan gave us another chance. But you're lucky too, we're still here and all you have to do is let us be here for you, to be the moms you want and need."
"I don't know if I can. I don't know if I'm ready to let go yet."
Kneeling in front of me, Mama took my hands into hers, "It's time you try little one, don't worry, we'll catch you if you fall."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
"When have I ever made you a promise I couldn't keep, little one?" Mama returned pulling me into a hug.
Pulling back I looked at her hard before turning to Mom. "I can try, I guess, but I might need some help."
Both of them smiled and enveloped me in a hug once more. "Now, what was so important that you felt the need to challenge me today?" Mom asked after the love fest stopped.
"Your joining ceremony, will I be able to attend?"
Mom smiled and nodded, "Of course you will. In fact, that's what we spoke to Ephiny about today. We've postponed it until the next full moon, then the moon after that will be the adoption ceremony and the tribe initiation."
"You didn't have to do that," I protested.
"Of course we did," Mama pulled me into her. "You're our daughter Sam, and it wouldn't be much of a joining ceremony without you with us."
"Really?" I asked hoping that they really meant it.
"Really," she answered touching her lips to the top of my head. "Now, about your punishment," she continued.
"Punishment?" I asked once more coughing.
"For tying Cesya to the chair," she added.
"Oh, that." I tried to laugh, but coughs came out instead.
"Yes that." Mom shook her head at me before standing and disappearing for a moment. She returned with a quill and parchment. "You will write an apology letter to Cesya for your actions and disrespect."
"But…" I looked up at her and sighed before shaking my head. "I can't Mom."
"Why not?"
"I'm not sorry that I did it. She challenged me and even sick I bested her." I shrugged. "I can't apologize for something I'd do again, can I?"
Groaning, Mom stood and began pacing and muttering to herself. Hearing a knock at the door, she left and returned a few moments later with Ephiny, Eve in tow.
"Cyrene dropped this one off on the way to the kitchens," she began. "She hasn't stopped kicking, biting, and hitting since then." Turning around, Ephiny displayed a small foot shaped bruise on her exposed back. "I know she's not even one yet, but I swear she understands more than what we're giving her credit for."
Taking Eve, Mama sighed and held her out staring into her eyes, "What do you have to say for yourself Eve?" She asked in a tone reserved for severe misbehavior.
"Damn!" The only answer Mama received.
"Thanks for trying Ephiny," Mom hugged her friend.
"Aunt Ephiny?"
"Hey kiddo," sitting on the bed next to me, she smiled. "What's up?"
"Could I talk to you alone for a few minutes?" Turning my head to cough once again I was surprised to find both of my moms gone when I faced Ephiny once more.
"What's on your mind kid?" She asked smiling at me.
"First, say hi to Zivah and Daria for me would you? Mama and Mom won't let them visit and when we tried to talk at my window, well…."
She held up her hand to stop me, "I know, your Mama delivered my daughter to me personally after that."
Nodding I sighed. "I wanted to ask you about the joining ceremony and I'm going to need your help with something too."
Hugging me, Ephiny ruffled my hair as she stood to go, "There is no doubt in my mind that you are your mothers' daughter. I'll let them know that we're finished talking."
"Thanks Aunt Ephiny," I grinned at her before coughing once more.
"No problem kiddo." Waving to me, she left my room as I settled into bed.
Sliding under the covers once more, I smiled. Maybe, just maybe things would start to get better if I really let them.
***XENA***BARD***XENA**BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA** *
More to come.
