As a serial tart Tony LeStrade knew how to get what he wanted. And he could also use his vast lexicon of experience for the benefit of others. Like his brother. And his really nice Detective Sergeant. Tony sipped his coffee and gave Jason Silver an appraising stare.

"I hear you did really well on that double murder case?"

"Yes. I managed to work out the brother in law's alibi was fake." Jason Silver was feeling a little uncomfortable. Inspector LeStrade's brother was gorgeous and oozing sex appeal from every orifice. When they had arrived in the cafe an excited gaggle of sixteen year old girls had marched up and asked for his autograph, mistaking him for one of the Harry Potter actors. Tony had been very nice about it. And then he had smiled at a waitress and made her drop things. And the little barista behind the counter had gone bright red when Tony had sauntered over to ask him for more sugar. Jason was debating whether or not to arrest him for sexual harassment of everybody.

"Okay. It's quite simple. My brother's an idiot. With morals. And a terrible sense of propriety which, fortunately, I have not inherited. What he actually needs is a good seeing to. Then he'll be fine. So we just need to engineer a situation which you can take advantage of."

"Sorry I don't follow."

"We get him drunk. You have sex. Then he wakes up in the morning. Realises the world hasn't ended because he's slept with his sergeant then you can get on with going out and having a nice time. How's that sound?"

"Okay. And you think that will work?"

"It has a reasonable chance of success."

"Let's do that then. How's the wedding plans going?"

"It's off." Tony took another gulp of coffee.

"Oh. I'm sorry. It was Sherlock's brother you were marrying?"

"Yes. And believe me, out of the two of them Sherlock's the most normal."

"Bloody hell."

Xxx

"That little furry bastard sabotaged my underwear!" John wondered if Mycroft knew just how ridiculous he sounded.

"Mycroft he's a Hamster not a master criminal."

"He's your bloody Hamster. He's not going to be normal." Huggins had decided the best place for him was in the safety of John's shirt pocket, where he was currently shaking nervously. Mycroft had threatened to have all kinds of unpleasant things done to him. Hardwicke was made of sterner stuff and had been edging closer to Mycroft with his teeth bared before John had intervened and stuffed him, protesting vigorously back in the cage.

"If you touch my hamster I will kill you, you fat f***. Don't think I don't know about your previous record for Hamster-cide. I have never forgotten what you did to Mr. Truffle. You've most likely contracted some kind of STD from your tart of a boyfriend. Do not blame me."

"Tony is no longer my boyfriend. We have called off the engagement. He's being posted to Gibraltar in a month."

"Does he know that?"

"Yes. In fact he volunteered." In his cage Hardwicke looked a little tearful. Daddy hadn't mentioned that at all. But maybe that meant he could stay with Huggins after all? Huggins poked his nose out of John's pocket, scowling at Mycroft. Something was not quite right.