Chapter 47: Alleviation

Neville had just finished lunch and was about to go for a walk out in the hospital garden when a soft knock caught his attention.

He looked up and smiled.

Hermione and Ron walked in.

"Hope you don't mind another unscheduled visit?" began Hermione. "Ron and I just wanted to stop in and say hi."

"'Course not. So how are you both?"

"Just fine- how are things here?" asked Hermione.

"I have been doing well. It gets easier everyday."

Neville smiled. He had meant it. He was slowly realizing that the more he cooperated and truly yearned to get better the quicker he would be let out.

"Not sure if you've heard," began Hermione softly. "But Malfoy is staying at grimmauld place for the time being. Francis and Charlie found him hiding out and the Death Eaters are after him. He is in bad shape."

"I have to agree," replied Ron. "I still don't like the git but this is the first time I've ever seen him where he didn't have any snide remarks to make toward any of us. Also apparently sometime last night Jessica Bloodworth escaped from Azkaban..."

Neville's eyes grew wide.

"This isn't good," he muttered.

"No. It's not," replied Hermione warily. "Just when we thought this was all over. She is incredibly notorious and could have an army together as we speak."

Neville sighed.

"I guess this is more reason for me to get out of here," he replied softly with a tiny smile. "Obviously my work isn't done."

Hermione frowned.

"You need to focus on getting well. Francis and the other order members will take care of this."

Neville shook his head.

"Ultimately it is me she is going to want to face off with," he began. "I'm the one who brought her plans all crashing down- she is going to want revenge. I killed her father-"

"You are going to be well protected Neville. The order is going to make sure you never have to see that woman again."

"I wish it were the simple, Hermione."

Although neither of them were advised to say anything to Neville, both Hermione and Ron immediately noticed his weight gain and the benefits that came with it. While he was still quite thin, he no longer looked as though he were on death's door. A healthy, pinkish color was beginning to return to his skin and his overall demeanor happened to be more positive. When they spoke to him his words seemed genuine.

"If I have learned anything of importance," began Neville softly. "It is that courage comes in all different forms. I don't feel scared anymore. I will take anything on that comes my way with full perseverance and honor- no matter the outcome. I have come too far to turn back now."

Hermione and Ron exchanged worried looks.

"Just don't do anything too crazy without consulting someone," began Ron. "We can't afford to lose you too."

Neville raised an eyebrow and grinned widely at them.

"Don't worry- you two will be the first to know."

"Neville, have you thought anymore about Snape's offer?" asked Hermione.

"It has been on the back of my mind. I'm still just not sure."

"It is a wonderful opportunity," she continued. "I can't think of anyone more perfect for the job."

Neville blushed.

"Thanks."

A moment of silence passed.

"How is your family doing, Ron?"

"They are doing alright. Mum is finally getting around a bit more and seeming more and more like her old self as the days go by. It is strange because whenever we are all together you can feel that the connection is broken- it goes without saying. No one ever mentions it though. My dad suggested clearing Percy's things out of his room to donate so we could make it a spare and Mum had a breakdown. She insists on keeping everything in his room exactly how he left it."

Neville frowned.

This only reminded him of when he went back home he had an entire mansion of his gran's things to sort through.

"We better get going," began Ron. "We'll see you later, mate."

"Bye. Thanks for coming."

Hermione gave him a kiss on the cheek and they were gone.

000000

Draco was rudely awoken as his blankets were roughly pulled from atop and under him.

He sat up abruptly as the lights came on and Snape was towering over him, glaring in such a way that Draco was strongly reminded of his father.

"Draco it is half past noon. You will not sleep in this late again- three different people have tried to rouse you with no luck. You have missed breakfast and lunch and I will not tolerate this childish behavior. Go shower and come down in a presentable manner."

Draco glared.

"Does it look like we are at Hogwarts anymore?"

Snape's lips were drawn tightly into a thin line.

"Jessica Bloodworth escaped from Azkaban last night. She is out for revenge- particularly against you and Longbottom. I suggest you heed my advice and make yourself useful if you wish for any chance to retain some of your more redeemable qualities."

Snape was about to leave when something caught his eye. A blood stain.

The former potions master clenched his jaw.

"Show me," he demanded simply.

Draco stared at him with confusion.

"Show you what?"

"Show me what you have done."

"I'm sorry- I don't quite follow."

Snape raised an inky eyebrow and his eyes burned into Draco's.

"Do not play dumb with me, boy. Show me what you have done."

Draco groaned.

"Must I?"

Snape wrapped his long fingers around the boy's slender wrist and turned it over, gently taking in a sharp breath as the angry, red cuts revealed themselves to him.

"Those are old-"

"Hardly," argued Snape.

"No I mean they aren't the most recent."

Snape placed his wand against the blonde's wrist and muttered a healing spell. Seconds later the angry red cuts were reduced to pink scars.

"Where else?" the raven haired man demanded.

Draco reluctantly pulled up his other sleeve and there were trails of small, thin cuts- perfectly aligned that ran down his forearm.

Without any words Snape healed those cuts as well.

"Draco," began Snape- his voice the softest the blonde had ever heard. "If you continue to harm yourself, all I can ask at this point is that you do not do so with carelessness. I can only offer my ear for when you choose healthier alternatives toward dealing with your anguish. Pain is universal," the man paused and looked to be deep in thought.

"However, suffering does not have to be. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Draco remained silent.

"It is hard to remain positive when the world around us has been plagued with darkness. Such as your entire existence, so much evil brought on to a child for every waking moment will leave its mark. It is up to you to decide if you would like it to be permanent. Time does not heal all wounds- but eventually they slowly start to fade and what you are left with is a scar to remind you of your past- which only you can choose to overcome."

"My choices thus far have only led to more misery."

"Not anymore," replied Snape. "Your father is no longer around to overshadow your choices in life. Now you have the freedom to live for yourself and to create your own path."

"Why are you being so...calm about all of this now? When the other day you looked as though you could have murdered me."

"Draco- it displeases me greatly to know that you are cutting yourself but taking away your blades will not stop you- yelling at you and lecturing you will not stop you. It is a matter far more complicated than I myself can do to intervene. I can only offer you my ear for when you are ready to speak, or my services in healing and treating your wounds. If you would like I can enchant your blade to lessen the risk of infection or cutting too deep."

Draco swallowed and stared blankly ahead.

"When you are willing to stop I will assist in any way I can."

After moments of silence Draco finally responded.

"Thank you, sir..." he replied, his voice breaking.

"I'm sure if you hurry downstairs someone will be glad to prepare you a late lunch."

000000

Neville was walking around the hospital garden when someone behind him cleared his throat.

He turned around and was shocked to see Dean Thomas.

"Hello mate."

"Wow- Dean...you are the last person I would have expected to see. How are you?"

"I am alright. Umm so I'm sure you are wondering what I am doing here."

Neville waited.

Dean sighed heavily.

"I know you and I have bumped heads a lot- mainly over Ginny over this past year but after the battle and everyone that died-" he paused.

Suddenly memories of Seamus' bloodied, lifeless body flooded Neville's brain. Seamus was Dean's best friend and he was thankful Dean hadn't witnessed or seen him in that state.

"And it just made me realize a lot of things. I know we were never really that close but I just wanted to tell you in person how much I admire you and I would like to thank you for saving us all. You finished what Harry couldn't and I'm sure you made him proud."

"Thank you, Dean. That means a lot," choked Neville.

"So how are you holding up in here?"

"I'm taking it day by day," replied Neville. "It is getting easier but overall one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do."

Dean nodded but said nothing.

Neville cleared his throat and wasn't sure what to say next.

"I um- I am so sorry, Neville-"

"For what?" the brunette questioned.

"For not paying enough attention to see that you were in trouble. I mean it all happened right before my eyes. The behaviors- just everything. It was all right in front of me. I saw you gorging on food as though you hadn't eaten in weeks- I saw you throwing up- I saw you pass out multiple times. I noticed when you didn't eat. Ginny always mentioned it and I passed it off as just being your typical nerves. I wish I wouldn't have been so thick. I guess I didn't realize blokes dealt with these kinds of issues. I wish I could have put it all together sooner...maybe you wouldn't have ended up here?"

"It isn't your fault or anyone else's," began Neville. "I am the reason why I ended up here. I am not good at a lot of things but I was very good at hiding all of this."

"I'm glad you are finally getting well."

"Me too."

"So I uh don't mean to pry but-" began Dean, his voice getting lower. "How are things with Ginny?"

Neville's face fell.

"We broke up."

Dean appeared genuinely surprised.

"Oh mate- I'm sorry."

"It needed to happen, I'm in no place to be the support she needs right now."

"You know- Ginny is a great girl. She's beautiful, smart, strong-willed and able to hold her own- damn stubborn that girl but her and I were never meant to be. It took me a long time to realize it. We were always on and off- we just weren't compatible..."

Neville remained silent.

"It angered me so much that even when we were still on she always seemed to be spending her time with you. I thought maybe she was just trying to make me jealous...but now I know why."

Neville swallowed the lump in his throat and immediately stared down at the dirt he had begun nervously kicking around.

"You know Neville...I always longed to be the one for Ginny. The one she wanted, the one who could protect her and care for her but it wasn't meant to be. I know it seems crazy but even when her and I first began dating I would occasionally catch her sneaking glances at you when you were preoccupied. I didn't think much of it then but now it makes sense. She fell for a good bloke- and I sincerely hope that things can work out between you two."

Dean began to nod slowly as though convincing himself to continue.

"You're the right bloke for her. She deserves only the best and with you she will have that."

Neville stared at the other boy speechless.

"Wow Dean...uh thanks. That all means so much but Ginny and I are through. I-I don't see her ever being able to forgive me for what all I put her through. I love her so much but the best thing I can do is to let her go so she can move on."

"Easy to say that now, mate. You won't be in here forever. You are getting better. You will be a changed man. You've got to fight for her."

"Dean- why have you come here to tell me all of this?"

The other boy thought for a moment.

"Honestly after this war and all of this darkness and losing so many brilliant people- something good has got to come out of it and I would love for it to be for you mate. You deserve some happiness for fuck's sake."

Neville smiled.

"That would be nice."

"That isn't the only reason I came-" continued Dean. "I uh- well when you are one hundred percent in your recovery- well as close as you can be- I want to offer you a spot on my quidditch team. Ginny too if she'll accept."

Neville beamed.

"Wow- I'd love to but can I think about it before I give you a for sure answer?"

"'Course."

Suddenly they were interrupted by soft footsteps behind them. It was Luna Lovegood.

She looked fresh faced and appeared to be glowing. Her blonde hair was pulled back in an elegant french braid and Neville was genuinely surprised to see her in a pair of jeans as he didn't think he'd ever seen her dress so casually or normal. She had on a lime green tank top with animated four leaf clovers that swapped around with each other.

"Hello boys- I hope I am not interrupting?" she asked softly.

"Not at all. We were just having a nice chat," replied Neville.

Neville looked at Dean and could have swore that he saw his cheeks grow red.

"Luna," Dean greeted her with a nod.

"Hello Dean," she replied, her cheeks growing red as well.

Neville eyed the two of them suspiciously.

"So...would you both fancy a game of croquet?" asked Neville.

"That sounds great but actually Luna and I were going to head over to Diagon Alley and check out some of the new shops."

Neville smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"We would love to take a rain check Neville," replied Luna, with a growing smile.

"Alright- you two have yourselves a great day."

They both smiled at him and walked away hand in hand.

Neville could not wrap his head around this unusual pairing but if they were both smitten and happy- as they appeared to be- then so be it.

Dean Thomas and Luna Lovegood.

Who would have ever thought?

000000

"Thank you everyone for assembling so swiftly and on such short notice," began Dumbledore, who was just about to begin the first order meeting in weeks. "As we are all aware Jessica Bloodworth escaped from Azkaban last night. This is a delicate matter as she is currently with child and extremely dangerous. She will not hesitate to murder but for the sake of the child inside of her we can do no such thing- unless absolutely necessary."

Hermione raised her hand.

"Yes Miss Granger."

"Profess- I mean...Albus. I don't understand how she was allowed to escape. Shouldn't that be cause for an investigation? She's dangerous and if she can escape what will stop other dangerous wizards from escaping as well?"

"I can assure you an investigation is currently underway. Azkaban is currently taking every extra precaution to ensure this will not happen again."

"She is merciless and hell bent on revenge-" began Francis. "I was married to her at one point I should know. She almost killed me- if Severus wouldn't have stepped in when he did I am not so sure I would have walked out of there alive."

"My proposal is to find her before she can seek out Draco or Longbottom-"

"Go on, Severus," urged Dumbledore.

"I say we even initiate a gathering- one where she is unaware of any true intentions. Then we will have the upper hand and she will be backed into a corner."

"How do we plan to orchestrate this?" asked Charlie.

"We need a sheep in snake skin..." replied Francis quietly. "Someone whom she could trust would still be loyal to her yet that will not set off any red flags."

Everyone quietly looked around the room at each other, no one said a word.

"I'll do it."

Everyone turned as Nelie stood up out of her chair. George grabbed her wrist and began to shake his head in disagreement. She gently removed his hand and made her way to the center of the room.

Francis' face fell white.

"Cornelia-"

"Dad just listen- I know you want to forbid me from this but I am an adult. I want to prove myself- not only for the order but for you and Maitland. She made him blind- her own son and what punishment has she served for that? What punishment has she served for any of her crimes?"

"Absolutely not- I will not allow for it Cornelia."

"Let the girl finish stating her cause before you crush it" rumbled Snape.

"Thank you," she winked at Snape and continued. "Daddy- I know this scares you. It scares me too. I was already trapped with this woman before. She is despicable and terrifying but it gave me a good look into how she works. Think about it dad- you said it yourself...it has to be someone she would believe would be loyal to her and wouldn't set off any red flags. I'm her daughter- by blood. No one would question that as long as I can put up a good enough act."

Francis sighed heavily and placed his head in his hands.

"The girl has a point, Francis..." echoed Snape. "She would not be alone long enough for real devastation to occur. You and myself would be nearby awaiting for the right moment to attack."

"Let her dad."

Suddenly everyone turned to Maitland.

"Nelie can do this. I know she can and if I weren't blind I would do it too. This is our chance to have the final say- to end the madness once and for all."

"I say we all settle this with an official vote," began Dumbledore. "Cornelia you may take your seat."

Nelie sat back down and immediately George began whispering into her ear- most likely trying to convince her that she was beyond mad and how strongly he disapproved.

"All in favor of Cornelia Longbottom serving as the order's sheep in snake skin- make it known with a single hand in the air."

Everyone looked around- watching to see who the first person in favor would be.

Maitland's hand went up first.

"Make us proud, sis."

The next hand was Snape. Followed by Tonks. And then Sirius. Remus. Charlie. Fred.

Only one more hand needed to be raised for the favor to rule.

Hermione and Ron raised their hands.

Dumbledore as well finally raised his hand.

Everyone had a single hand raised in favor of Nelie except for George- her boyfriend and Francis- her father.

George sighed heavily.

"I don't like this one bit but I believe in you, Nel."

Nelie crinkled up her nose with delight and threw her arms around him, giving him a firm kiss on the lips.

George raised his hand.

Now it was only Francis who remained undecided.

"Cornelia- you are my daughter and I will always try to guide you and do the best I can to protect you. You are very brave and have everything it takes to make an exceptional Auror. However, you are an adult and I can no longer step in the way of your decisions- no matter how much I may want to. And for that reason- I support you."

Francis finally raised his hand.

"Let's do it for Kingsley and Mad-Eye!" exclaimed Tonks. "Our order will never be the same without them but what better way to honor them than to take this bitch down!"

Tonks offered Hermione a high five and winked at her.

"Just goes to show. We girls are just as valuable as the boys," she replied into Hermione's ear. "Kingsley and Mad-Eye both knew that and I have the highest respect for them both. In fact- they would have been the first ones with their hands up in favor of Nelie. Mad-Eye is who got me into the order and believed in me from day one. We're being led through all this by Nelie. It is time for us to make our stand."

Hermione turned to Ron, beaming with what Tonks had just told her.

"That settles it," began Dumbledore. "Through unanimous vote Cornelia will guide us to Jessica Bloodworth."

000000

Draco finally came down to find the main rooms empty, which is the way he preferred it.

"Draco?"

He turned to see his youngest brother Ignacio staring up at boy's blonde hair was standing up on all ends and he seemed sad.

"Yes," Draco hissed, failing to hide the annoyance in his tone.

"Is it true? Is my mommy coming back to get me and Valerio?"

"Valerio and I-" Draco corrected, although he felt disgust with himself by how much he had just sounded like their father. "Listen your mother is a bad woman. She needs to be locked back up forever."

The little boy had tears threatening to spill.

"I miss her- and daddy."

Draco stared coldly at the little boy.

"Why?" he asked him.

"I do," was all he could reply with a whimper.

Obviously the boy was far too young to realize that the mistreatment his parents considered proper parenting was something that could cause you to hate yourself and everyone around you many years later as Draco currently did.

Draco began to rub the bridge of his nose.

"Has anyone fed you?"

"We had lunch already. I didn't eat because Valerio told me not to."

"Why did he tell you not to eat? And why do you keep listening to everything he tells you to do?"

"I don't know."

Draco rolled his eyes at the thought of what he was about to do. It was completely against his nature to be well- a nurturer.

"Would you like me to make you something? I haven't eaten either."

The little boy's face suddenly lit up.

"Yes!"

"Yes what?" prodded Draco.

"Please!"

Draco caught himself, sounding just like their father again. The man was dead and still managed to make his way into his thoughts and actions.

The older Malfoy quickly made a couple of sandwiches and offered one to Ignacio.

"Could you please cut it into four pieces like mommy always did?"

"Why can't you eat it the way it is?"

The little boy began to pout so Draco groaned and abided to his wishes.

"There."

"Draco. When will we get to go home?"

"I don't know."

"I miss my bedroom. And all of my toys...and-"

"Those things can all be replaced."

"Oy why don't you piss off and leave my brother alone!"

Draco raised an eyebrow and glared challengingly at Valerio, who appeared out of nowhere.

"For one- watch your mouth or I will knock it off of your smug little face. Two he is my brother too, you little twat. We all have the same Malfoy blood running through our veins."

"Only yours is tainted. Father always told us he wishes you would have died in the womb. It would have saved him years of shame and misfortune."

Draco glared.

"What the hell is your problem? I don't know why you keep quoting all of father's best lines but I can only assume you fail to realize that he is dead. Meaning you will now answer to me. So I suggest you shut up unless you can find something nice to say. Otherwise life from here on out will be even more difficult for you than it already has been."

Valerio stared blankly, unable to come up with anything to say so Draco continued.

"I knew father a lot longer than the both of you and I can tell you things that he has done to me that will make the ends of your hair curl. I can only hope that he never did anything similar to either of you."

"Father never punished us unless we deserved it," replied Valerio.

Draco stared hard at him.

"Did he ever punish you for being messy during a meal? How about not combing your hair? Or even a punishment on top of a punishment because you cried too hard from the first beating?"

"Father only wanted to raise us to become proper men- to not be weak."

"But that's just it! You are only boys! When is the last time either of you went outside and played in some mud? Or played a game of cricket?"

"Daddy hated when we got muddy," noted Ignacio.

"I intend to continue to make father proud," replied Valerio firmly. "Playing childish games is no way to carry out this honor."

"So then who will you get to carry out his beatings since he is unable?" asked Draco.

Valerio glared.

"I would consider it seeing as how mad you drive me," Draco continued. "But typically I don't see it as fair to beat up defenseless little boys- especially when that is all they are being."

"Father treated us much better than you think," replied Valerio.

"Oh really?" challenged Draco. "Then I bet you wouldn't mind taking off your top and showing me your back then?"

Valerio stood unmoving so Draco continued.

"Because one of father's favorite ways to punish me was to whip his cane across my back- hard. It always left bruises for weeks, sometimes even months. So come on then- let's see how much more he loved you."

Valerio glared at Draco for the longest time but could not find any words to say. The brunette suddenly turned his face away from Draco. The eldest Malfoy could see tears gathering in the boy's eyes.

Draco grabbed hold of Valerio's shirt and gently lifted it up, closely inspecting his back. Sure enough just as he had suspected there were long, thin, slowly fading bruises from where the imprints of their father's cane used to be.

"Does it still hurt?"

Valerio wiped his eyes before any visible tears could escape and shook his head no.

"This wasn't the actions of a man who loved you. Father wanted you and Ignacio to be his pawns. Just like he wanted me to be only I took matters into my own hands. Father didn't give two shits about either of you- you were created to be an exact mold of him- for self-serving purposes."

Valerio stared hatefully at Draco.

"You would say that."

"It is the only truth there is and soon enough you will come to see and it will destroy you."

000000

The remainder of the evening was nice and relaxing for Neville. He spent some time doing a little gardening- which was playing a large part in his recovery plan.

Right now he was playing a game of wizard's chess with Gene.

"Your turn mate."

"Oh- sorry."

Neville found his mind wandering.

"Why don't you try talking to Ellen after our therapy session? What could it hurt? The only thing she can do is decline."

Gene thought long and hard.

"To be honest the thought of that terrifies me. We have kept our distance for a reason and I think that is the way she prefers it."

"You won't know unless you ask her."

"Hello boys."

They both looked up.

"Ruma!" shouted Neville. "I'm glad you're back. I heard you have been sick?"

"I am feeling much better dear."

"Good."

"Will you be joining the others for supper in the cafeteria this evening?" she asked him.

Neville thought about it.

"I think I will. Yes."

Ruma winked at him and gave him a warm smile before walking away.

"She's so nice," replied Neville, more to himself.

"Ruma is very lovely."

A few moments passed by and neither said anything.

"So your fiancee-"

"Ex," Neville corrected him.

"Ex-fiancee. What was she like? Do you think you two can maintain a friendship? At this point I wish Ellen and I could at least just be friends."

Neville sighed.

"Ginny Weasley is the most amazing bird I have ever known. She is beautiful and smart and strong. She was the only person who really understood me. Every time I tried to close her off she kept pushing her way in even when I pushed her back out. I still can not figure out why she was even remotely interested in me. I have been in love with her for so long that her absence from my life only hurts more as the days pass. And before we began dating she was one of my best mates. I- uh I can not believe I am about to tell you this...because it is really embarrassing and if you repeat this to anyone I will hex you."

Gene grinned.

"It's all safe with me mate."

"We uh- well we snogged quite often but I could never...you know-"

"So you're a virgin? What's the big deal about that?"

"She tried one time...and I panicked and ran out of her bedroom like a loser. I could have died from the humiliation. She thought it was her- but it's me. I'm the problem and I will always be the problem. I just cringe whenever I think of her seeing me naked. I feel gross and..."

Gene continued to grin as Neville let his head fall onto the table with a thud.

"I'm sure you can make it up to her and make it worth every bit of wait aye?"

"I wanted to so badly!" groaned Neville.

"Don't worry mate. I believe you will get your chance."

"You've no clue, Gene. I'm sure she's already moved on by now. My mates try to reassure me that she still loves me but I just can't believe it. Why she would settle for me I will never know. All of the other blokes were-"

"Listen Neville," interrupted Gene sternly. "You need to quit with all of this self-bashing. You are quite a good looking bloke. Why can't you see that? Hell, I love the lasses but I have no problem admitting when I come across a gorgeous lad as well."

Neville blushed.

"Thank you," he mumbled.

"Listen- I will make you a deal. Since you suggested I try speaking to Ellen after our therapy session I promise that I will tonight. So long as you try to work things out with your bird as well."

Neville gave him a tiny smile.

"Sure."

000000

As soon as they had all finished with dinner Neville, Gene, Mary-Sue, Ellen and Veronica all walked as a group to Jade's office.

Neville couldn't help but notice that Ellen was walking in such close proximity with him that she kept gently brushing up against him. He looked at her and smiled awkwardly and she smiled back, her cheeks growing pink.

"So Neville," she began. "I was listening to you at dinner talk about your gardens. Would you like to go out to the greenhouse after this and get to know each other a little better?"

Neville felt his cheeks grow hot.

"Er-"

He turned back and saw that Gene was watching them closely. A large frown set upon his face.

"Can I get back to you on that?" he asked.

"Sure."

They all entered Jade's office and took their seats.

Neville sat next to Gene while Ellen took the seat on the other side of Neville.

"Welcome back everyone. I hope you have all had a good day so far. If you all remember at the end of our last session I asked you all to come up with ten things that you love about yourselves."

Neville groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Would anyone care to volunteer to go first?"

Ellen immediately raised her hand.

"My personality. My intelligence. My courage. My hair. My eyes. My style. My spirituality. I'm humble. I'm honest and I feel joy in helping others."

Jade smiled and nodded.

"Very nice. Thank you, Ellen. Who is next?"

Gene slowly raised his hand.

"My athleticism- or at least when I was. My sense of humor. My love of cooking for others. My ability to listen and give advice. My skin. My hair. My sense of sharp wit. My big heart. My ability to duel."

"Excellent. And next we have?"

Veronica and Mary-Sue then read off their lists and Neville began to panic.

"Neville? It is your turn to share."

"Erm- I uh...I couldn't come up with anything," he mumbled lamely.

Jade frowned.

"I'm sorry. I tried to come up with some things last night but I got sort of distracted."

Neville began sheepishly glancing around at the others. He figured they must have all been thinking about what a pathetic buffoon he was. Who could fail at such a simple task?

Gene glanced away nervously as he ran a hand through his his honey blonde hair. Ellen placed a hand on Neville's knee and smiled encouragingly. Mary-Sue was staring off into space, her purple hair was braided into two long pieces and she was still as thin as the last time he had seen her. Veronica- with her perfectly placed bun atop her head- was closely inspecting her nails.

"Well then..." began Jade slowly. "We will all help you come up with some things. I will start. Neville...I think you have a wonderful smile. We don't see it all too often but when you do smile you have the most charming dimples."

Jade nodded for the others to join in.

"I think you are quite handsome," blurted Ellen, who immediately blushed. "And you have gorgeous eyes."

"You're a good bloke to talk to," added Gene. "I really like how I can talk to you about anything and you fully invest yourself no matter what the conversation is."

"You're a hero," began Veronica. "Very brave and skillful."

Mary-Sue was the only person who hadn't said anything.

Everyone waited.

"You have a kind heart," she began softly. "You were in the same year as my cousin Luna. She talked about your quite often."

"I believe that was eight things we have all come up with. Do you disagree with what has been said?" Jade challenged.

"No," replied Neville quietly. "Thanks."

"I think you can come up with the final two things yourself," she urged gently.

"Umm, well I have quite the green thumb like my mother used to-" he began. "I love herbology and am quite proud of what I have accomplished with my gardens..."

"One more," Jade pressed.

"I guess I would say...I love how much I have grown as a wizard recently. My dueling skills have never been better and I was offered the herbology position at Hogwarts."

"Very good. I am sure you may all be thinking- why has she asked us to come up with something so silly? The reason is because it is important to love and accept yourself as you are. None of us in this room are perfect and we never will be. We are all flawed and that is okay."

When no one spoke up Jade continued.

"All of you are here for the same reasons- somewhere along the way you forgot how to love yourselves. When you can't love yourself it makes it more difficult to offer love to others which puts strain and distance in relationships. And in order to survive in this world we need relationships with good people to make sure we stay on track. Just like you all need to provide support to those around you."

"Jade- I have a question?"

"Yes Veronica."

"What about the people who choose not to maintain a relationship after it has been broken?"

"That is tough," began Jade. "Because while it is in one's nature to want to make right of something that is not always a possibility. The only thing you can do is to communicate to them somehow what you are feeling and offer them an open door to fix the relationship. If they still choose to keep away then that is out of your control and you have to learn to accept it."

Neville saw Gene glance at Ellen who returned his gaze and quickly looked away.

Neville nudged Gene in the ribs.

"See- this is your chance. Give her an open door," hissed Neville into his ear.

The rest of their session consisted of them all going back and forth talking about their relationships with various people and how they were before the eating disorder, during and during recovery and how they hoped for these relationships to be after recovery.

Neville's mind was wondering through most of the meeting as he was making up scenarios in his head of how things would be with Ginny when he got out- if he even found the courage to face her.

"Neville? You have been very quiet," began Jade. "What are you thinking right now?"

Neville snapped out of his daze.

"Um I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Just thinking about how I am going to make things better when I get out of here."

Jade smiled.

"That's good. I am glad this is something you are taking into consideration. In fact, for our next session I would like all of you to pen a letter to yourselves. I know it may sound silly but you would not believe how therapeutic it can be. I want you to write about being able to accept and forgive yourself for past mistakes and so on. This is mainly just an exercise for you all and won't have to read what you have written in group unless you choose to. I think that is enough for this evening. I will see you all in three days."

Slowly everyone began to filter out and just as Neville reached the door Jade stopped him.

"I was hoping we could have a word?"

"Sure."

"Are you alright? You seemed far away during our meeting."

"I apologize- just got a lot on my mind. I will try to stay more focused next time..."

"Anything you would like to get off your chest now?"

Neville hesitated.

"Mainly just my ex-fiancee," he began. "I still love her so much but have not seen her since I was admitted. Which seems like ages ago. The fact that we haven't communicated kills me. I have no idea what she is thinking or feeling. I don't know if she has moved on or completely given up on us. At this point all I want is for us to stay mates and to just tell her how sorry I am-"

Jade smiled sadly.

"My advice to you, Neville," began Jade, "is to write her a letter. Owl it to her as soon as you finish or save it for when you get out and deliver it to her in person. It is up to you but sometimes the best way to express ourselves is through writing- while the emotion is raw and fresh. The words should flow seemingly well and if not then at least you can say you tried."

Jade continued.

"If the bond you two once shared was as strong for her to stay with you through all of your suffering then I doubt she is willing to throw in the towel so easily now that you have finally gotten the help you need and deserve. I am sure she is scared just as much as you are but you will not know unless you reach out to her. True love knows no bounds and I hope everything works out for you."

Neville gave her a tiny smile.

"Thank you."

"I am so proud of you, Neville. You have opened up so much from our first meeting and it is incredibly difficult to let a stranger into your deepest thoughts and inner workings. You are so brave in more ways than one. You are going to be just fine."

"I hope so."

Neville exited Jade's office and saw a glimpse of Gene and Ellen speaking.

Neville caught Gene's eye and gave him an encouraging thumbs up before walking away.

000000

Back at grimmauld place everyone was finishing their supper.

The chatting among one another was particularly cheerful and fun and Draco even found himself jumping into the conversation every so often. It was Valerio, who usually had something rude to contribute in response to someone else who remained unusually quiet.

"You okay, kiddo?" asked Nelie, taking notice of her brother's reserved nature.

He nodded.

Draco raised his eyebrow and exchanged looks with her.

'He okay?' she mouthed, when the brunette Malfoy wasn't looking.

'I think I broke him,' Draco mouthed back with a smirk.

"So Nelie how does it feel to be our resident spy?" asked Sirius, as he and his house elf began clearing empty plates from the table.

"It feels great. I am fully prepared. I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"Right- that seems to have worked out well in the past," replied Maitland.

"Shut it!"

"I'm just teasin' sis.."

"Cool it you two or I will hang you by your thumbs in the basement," threatened Sirius with a wink as he exited the dining room.

"What is going to happen to our mum?" asked Ignacio softly, his grey eyes wide with innocence.

Everyone exchanged guilty looks.

"Ignacio. We are only trying to help your mother," began Remus as kindly as he could muster. "You see, your mother has done some very bad things and has hurt a lot of people and in order to keep her from doing more damage we are going to make sure she goes somewhere where she can get some help. Also to ensure the safety of your brother- who as soon as he is born will most likely have to go into foster care for just a little while until things get sorted out."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"That's the highly inflated version of the story," he began rudely. "Your mother is a nasty woman who will most likely be sentenced to death for her crimes as the ward for the criminally insane is overflowing with legitimate crazies. Be thankful this woman is no longer in your life and try to look forward to being given a shot at having a normal upbringing."

Nelie glared at Draco.

"You can be such a heartless asshole," she muttered through grit teeth. "He's just a little boy."

"Sorry but he needs to quit having everything sugar coated. They both need to know the truth."

"I do feel as though there is a time and place for that Draco but not necessarily right now," argued Remus. "These boys are both very vulnerable right now."

"Yeah?" spat Draco as he glared at the werewolf. "Well where was anyone trying to protect me? Who was around to handle me when I was vulnerable? Who gave a single fuck about what I WENT THROUGH?"

Draco stood up hastily causing his chair to clatter loudly to the floor.

Valerio and Ignacio stared at Draco, their mouths hanging open.

"Daddy would have welted our hides for that," Ignacio reminded him, his eyes wide- almost as if he were expecting Lucius to appear out of nowhere in a fury.

"FATHER IS DEAD SO I CAN SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!"

Nelie stood up swiftly and grabbed both Valerio and Ignacio by their wrists, pulling them up out of their seats.

"Come on you two. Let's go play a game of exploding snap. You too, Maitland."

As soon as they exited Remus attempted to approach the eldest Malfoy.

"Draco- I am always here if you need to talk-"

"Forget it," replied Draco. "I'm going to bed."

"I would hate for you to turn to your blade on account of something I said setting you off-" began Remus with worry in his tired eyes. "I just- it is a very difficult time for everyone but please just talk to me. Just for a few minutes."

Draco groaned which then turned into a heavy sigh.

"I wanted to die during this war and by all means I should have and after I survived all I wanted...all I bloody wanted was to be on my own! To start a new life- away from everyone I know. I have nothing and I prefer it that way because when you have nothing to rely on or anyone to rely on you it makes it easy to separate. I had a plan and you all ruined it."

"I am sorry you feel this way Draco. Everyone here- whether they will admit it or not- cares about you and does not want to see you self-destruct. This is the last thing I will bet you want to hear but the bravery and loyalty that you displayed during this war is worthy of any Gryffindor. The sorting hat may have placed you in Slytherin but you have shown that deep within you have the heart of a lion."

Remus continued while he had Draco's attention.

"Not many others may see past your previous behavior but I do. Draco you sacrificed so much during this war. You put your life on the line and showed true selflessness. You turned your back on your father and the life he had set up for you since birth. You disobeyed Voldemort and his followers and made a very adult decision to go against the grain of all you have ever known. You saved Neville's life more than once. You should be proud. I know I defied the odds and came out just as much a hero as Neville and Harry."

Draco pursed his lips.

"Then why don't I feel like one?"

"Because you are too busy holding on to your past. Live in the now and accept what you have become not what your father tried to force you to be."

"How? I still hear his voice in my head. He is still with me. I hate it."

The werewolf smiled timidly.

"I can assist you with that if you would like."

000000

Neville got out of the hot shower and was about to settle in for the night. He decided to take Jade's advice and pen Ginny a letter while it was all still fresh in his mind.

Dear Ginny,

How are you? Not a single day has gone by where I haven't thought about you. I am so sorry about Percy. I would have written sooner but I wasn't sure you would want to hear from me. I have been here at St. Mungo's for over a month now and at first the days all ran together but now I feel as though I am accomplishing something. I feel good about myself some days whereas I never did before. I am learning a lot about myself since I have been here and also a lot about why I ended up here. One thing my therapist is having me work on is accepting myself and forgiving myself for any wrong doings.

I am writing to you hoping that you can work on forgiving me as well. Ginny, I fear I will never be able to make up for what I have put you through. I am so sorry and I know words can only go so far but if you would allow for it I would love to show you. My love for you is as strong as ever and the distance between us now has left a hollow space inside of me that will probably never be filled. My intentions are not to beg for you to take me back- you made the right decision to leave and I respect you more for that than you will ever know. Even though it felt as though my heart was being ripped from my chest I am glad that you walked away.

I realize now how selfish I was in my behaviors and especially in my actions. I longed to be everything you needed and to be your knight in shining armor, but this illness took that from me and unfortunately left you with a right brainwashed prat- so focused on myself that I couldn't support you in the way you deserved. Ginny all I have ever wanted was for you to be happy and I hope that you find happiness sooner than later- and if it isn't with me then I have come to the conclusion that it is for the best and I fully accept it.

However, I do not wish to lose you as a mate. What you and I had before we even became involved was something indescribable. It was like nothing else I have ever been apart of in my entire life. You truly understood me on a level that no one else had ever even attempted to. You were my reason for not trying to end it all again. I have been struggling so much with how to face everyone when I get released, but the thought of facing you and wondering if there is anything left has left me so scared. It keeps me awake at night, it drives me mad, it makes my blood run cold.

You tried so hard to help me and I was too far into this sickness to realize it. I have tried to put myself in your shoes- if it were me watching you slowly fade away right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do. I can not even imagine the pain and the frustration and the heart break. And that is exactly what I put you through and there is no amount of words I can speak or write that will ever take that away; the only thing I can do is make a promise to you that from here on out I will always be around to listen and support you in any way I can. I hope that together we can bury this- not to forget but simply so we can both move on with our lives.

Best wishes,

Neville

He quickly folded the letter as neatly as his shaking hands would allow and made his way to the hospital owlry. He gently grabbed an owl and attached the letter to her foot.

"I need you to deliver this before I change my mind," he replied softly, as he petted the owl gently; even rubbing behind her ear which emitted a noise of satisfaction from the breathtaking creature.

He cradled the owl with one arm and opened the window with the other.

"Take this to Ottery St. Catchpole in Devon. You will see a barn and nearby there is a burrow belonging to the Weasley family. You can't miss it. Atta girl."

He released the bird and watched as she flew off into the night and was no longer in sight.

000000

Author's Note: A lot of character development going on in this chapter. What are your thoughts? Will Ginny forgive Neville? Should they rekindle their romance? Can they?

How about Valerio and Ignacio? Do they truly have a shot at being raised with normalcy?

Will Nelie succeed in taking down her mother, Jessica Bloodworth?

Please read and review.

Chapter 48 to follow.