Wasting Time

Kenny walked into Cartman's house for the fifth time that week. It was a Saturday. Damien and Kevin were hanging out with Karen. It was part of a deal they all struck up. She loved Damien to death, and Kevin wasn't half bad himself. So when Kenny was unable to be with her, Karen was surrounded by either/or both the other boys. Kenny felt a sadness at remembering what he had seen the other day. But it was all over now. She was happier, and she wasn't being bullied. He was now on to his next task. Helping Cartman fatass graduate.

"Hello, Kenny dear." Mrs. Cartman said as she smiled at him. "I'm getting ready to make dinner." She announced.

"Fabulous. We'll need all the help we can get at this point." He muttered.

"Is it another all-nighter?" she asked.

"No. Thankfully, it's not." Kenny said as he smiled at her.

"I'll call when dinner's ready." She said as she watched him walk up the stairs to Eric's room.

He knocked on the door. There was a sad hollow "come in." from inside. Kenny opened it.

"I give up." Eric said dejected as he sat in the middle of his bed surrounded by a lot of papers. "I'm not going to make it, Ken. I give up. School isn't for me." He moaned.

"Oh, stop it. You just need to sleep and recover from all the strain." Kenny said as he helped his friend straighten out. "We're all here, remember? Everything will be fine." He said as he stacked all the pages neatly in a pile. "What did you do with Kyle? He was the last one to be helping you." Kenny wondered.

Eric went over all the stuff the two of them had done. Kenny saw that a lot of the stuff was crossed out on Eric's chart. The paper was littered with different styles of hand writing as all of them had taken to writing on it. Kenny sighed. They still had a long way to go, and a short time to do it in. All assignments were to be turned in by next Tuesday, and graduation was scheduled for next Thursday in the football field. They could do it though.

Cartman was the meanest jerk there ever was. But he was part of the clique, and no one got left behind in the gang. Ever. No matter how mean. And Cartman was the embodiment of evil. He made Damien's father look like an angel wrongfully placed in Hell. They all agreed, though. So, Cartman was graduating if it killed them.

"What do you wanna work on next?" Kenny asked.

"I want to go to sleep." Cartman whined. "After I get some sleep, I will work on some other thing." He moaned.

"Cartman, I know what you can do for me." Kenny said as he looked through what wasn't done. "One of the writing assignments is to explain what you learned in reading the shining. What did you get out of it?" Kenny asked.

"The guy who wrote it was crazy." Cartman muttered.

"Okay…, what about the next book on the list? You read Pride and Prejudice?" Kenny asked.

"No."

"Sense and Sensibility?" Kenny asked becoming very irritated.

"Nah."

"What did you read?" Kenny asked.

"I don't even remember." Eric admitted.

Kenny face palmed. "I don't believe this." He muttered.

"Why does everyone do that?" Cartman asked confused.

"Because it's very hard to work with you." Kenny said bitterly. "Did you read any of the books on this list?" he asked.

"A Cab Called Reliable." Cartman said bitterly. "And night." He added smiling.

"Of course you did." Kenny said unsurprised. "Can you write a three and a half page paper on what you thought of the book?" he asked. "I promise, if you do that one assignment for me, I'll give you some…," He thought for a moment. They had all used some kind of food to motivate him into doing his homework. But he was running out of things to motivate the boy with. It was like working with a ten year old.

"Mommy'll give you some nice steak with mashed potatoes if you do the work, poopsy." Said a voice. Kenny could've kissed Leanne at that point.

"Fine." Cartman said as he got his laptop ready to go. "When I'm done, will you look it over?" he asked.

Cartman sat there for a whole five minutes not doing anything. Kenny was starting to get very angry with the boy. He didn't know what to do.

"Cartman!" he shouted as he caught the youth playing games on his laptop.

"I'm goin' I'm goin'." He muttered.

Kenny sighed as he started singing. "Wasting time! Soon I'll be dead! You take too long to do…, one single task." He sang sighing. "Wasting time! It's up to you! All I can do I've done! Just so you know. Just so you know." He said as he started beat boxing. He started with the next part of the song. "You'll do fine. If you try. Try to be calm instead. If you're wrong, do it right. But make sure you don't forget! Don't waste time. Just take it slow. Know that you're not alone. Quit tearing apart…, your blue heart." He started beat boxing again. He saw Cartman smiling out of the corner of his eye.

"Stop that trashy beat boxing." He ordered. "Or go away."

"If I go away, who's going to help you with your homework?" Kenny asked softly.

"Fine. I'll do the paper." Cartman moaned as he actually opened up Microsoft word and started typing.

"It has to be APA." Kenny said.

Cartman shrieked at the top of his lungs.

"Forget I said anything." Kenny said as he put a calming hand on Cartman's shoulder. "I'll take care of the formatting, you just do the typing." He cooed.

Before they knew it, Cartman had actually gotten his two writing assignments done, and they had made real progress. It was actually nice. Cartman was on his way to graduating.