A/N:

I'm sorry because I was horrible at replying to reviews, but can I make it up to you with an early update?

Thanks go, as always, to my wonderful, patient and amazing beta, dellaterra.

I do not own Twilight.

Oo=oO

Chapter 43: True Love

EDWARD

"She's asleep," I murmur, slipping back under the covers.

"Did you sing to her?" Bella asks. She snuggles into my side, her hand on my chest, caressing me gently.

"Of course I did," I reply, smiling. I kiss her temple. She smells so good, like baby and Bella, warm and clean. My heart is so full of love.

Bella sighs, her warm breath washing over my chest. She kisses me, her fingers drawing lazy circles. Her touch is sweet and familiar.

"I love you," I whisper. I can feel her smile.

"I love you too." She kisses my throat and my chin, and then, our lips meet in a lingering kiss. It's tender, filled with reverence and devotion, the sheerest, purest love between us.

Her body is soft and warm and I am floating away on her very essence.

I pull her closer. Our kiss merges into something different. Tongues meet. It's deep and wondrous, and… new.

Mmm, how I love her body, so soft, so warm.

It makes me dizzy.

Sex hasn't been an issue over the past weeks. We're both too overwhelmed and too tired most of the time to even give a thought to it. But this, her touch, her smell, reminds every cell in my body of us, just us.

I know that she can feel my increased heartbeat and my labored breathing. I know she can feel me poking her hip. I feel like the world's horniest asshole, like I had been waiting for this to happen – which isn't the case. But it's what her proximity always does to me.

And then, she slips her hand inside my pajamas, and I moan instantly.

So good…

"Bella… baby… We shouldn't…"

"Shh," she whispers. "Please… Just let me feel you…"

Her hand wraps around me and I shudder.

Pumping and squeezing, stroking and teasing, she drives me to the edge, and all I can do is groan aloud when I come hotly into her hand.

Bella peppers my neck with dozens of tiny kisses, eventually releasing me. I want to turn around and grab a Kleenex but she beats me to it, cleaning my stomach and her hand.

She wraps her arm around me and snuggles up to me once again.

"Love you," she mumbles, and before I know it, she is breathing evenly, and I realize she has fallen asleep. I kiss her forehead.

"I love you too," I whisper.

BELLA

Since it's Edward's day off, he took on the feeding duty at night. It's fantastic that he is able to do that now and again, and a completely new feeling to be able to sleep more than a few hours without interruption.

He can't do it, of course, when he has to get up at five or six in the morning, but if he has a day off or a late shift the next morning, he gladly steps in. He's the sweetest and most tender daddy in the world. The way his eyes shine when he holds Lizzie, talks to her, rocks her to sleep, my heart brims over with love. These two are my whole world.

I return from the shower and find them in bed, Lizzie on Edward's chest and him with his eyes closed, dozing. She's grown so much over the past weeks, yet still is so tiny, especially with Edward's hand covering her back. Her hair has grown a little bit, and it has the same color that Edward's has in baby photos, a lighter shade of bronze and copper than it is now.

I quickly slip into my underwear and a T-shirt before crawling back into bed. I place a kiss on Edward's shoulder.

"Hmm," he mumbles. "Hello…"

"Hello." I kiss him again, enjoying the feel of his warm skin. "Do you want to sleep a bit longer?"

Lizzie moves her arm. She makes a smacking noise and pouts her lips.

"No," he murmurs, "just lie here for a few more minutes with you…" He opens one eye. "C'mere…" He wraps his free arm around me and I place my head on his chest, next to our daughter. I stroke her little foot. She's wearing this fluffy pink romper suit that Alice gave her. It has a fitting hat with mouse ears.

I sigh a little. I don't really want to admit it, but the thought of parting with her, even if only for a couple of hours, makes me nervous. It will be the first time. I know that Edward knows her just as well as I do, and he is just as involved with her feeding and diapering and sleeping habits as I am, but still – it will be the first time since she joined us six weeks and four days ago.

And I know that I have to do this, I have to get used to not being with her all the time, and she needs to experience too that everything is okay even if Mommy leaves for a few hours.

Everything turned out so different than I expected it to. I was so afraid that I might have to deal with postpartum depression, or that I wouldn't feel motherly toward her because my own mother didn't. Instead, I am total mother hen, and this experience – being a mother, having this tiny human being totally dependent on me – seems to have stabilized me. Lucky things don't always turn out as we expect them to.

I kiss Edward's chest, his feel and his smell so familiar. He sets everything within me at ease. However stressful the past few weeks have been, they were filled with happy moments just like this. Everything makes sense now, with our Lizzie here.

EDWARD

Bella looked a bit panicked when she left just now, though she tried not to show it. As a matter of fact, I'm a bit nervous myself. Lizzie has hardly ever been parted from her mommy. I mean, sometimes Bella was asleep when I fed her, or she would be having a bath while I stayed with our baby, but she was always nearby. What if Lizzie freaks out? She knows only her mommy and depends on her for everything. She was inside her until six-and-a-half weeks ago!

Lizzie is sleeping in her carrier, her tiny body pressed against my chest. I never knew this sort of love existed. I mean, I love Bella ridiculously, with all my heart and soul – and body too – but this is different. This little person rules my world; without doing anything, she makes me the happiest person on the planet.

"Okay, Lizziepea," I say softly. "Ready to go to the market?"

She sleeps while I buy butter and eggs, apples and walnuts and everything else I need for the cake, as well as some meat and vegetables. I also get a bouquet of wild flowers for Bella. It starts drizzling as we make our way home. I didn't bring an umbrella, so I try to shield Lizzie's head with one hand while carrying the two bags and the flowers in the other. The paper of the bags gets soggy and I try to hail a cab, which is ridiculous, since we're only two blocks from home. As it is, all cabs are taken, so I mutter, shit, shit, shit, and speed up. It's our daughter's first rain, and she doesn't like it. One bit.

She screams in protest, her little face getting red, and I try to soothe her, but she doesn't care. Little drops of cold water meet her hands and she probably thinks that the world is coming to an end. By the time we get home, we're both wet and exhausted.

I drop the groceries on the floor in the hall and take Lizzie out of the carrier, trying to decide what to do first? Feed her? No, bathe her, so she gets warm.

I hurry upstairs and prepare her bath, simultaneously taking Lizzie's clothes off. Thank God she's not cold, so I guess it's more the shock than anything else. She was swaddled to my chest all the time, and only her hands are a bit cool. I take off her diaper, which is full, so that must have contributed to her lack of comfort. She's still crying while I clean her, murmuring cooing words all the while. I slip off my shoes and socks in between, because I think I stepped into a puddle and my feet are wet.

She calms a little during her bath, but cries again when I take her out. That's always the downside – she loves the warm water, which probably reminds her of her Mommy's womb, but she hates coming out.

I wrap her into a towel and rock her, running a hand through my still-wet hair. Okay, now I have her pressed against my wet sweater, and that's not such a good idea, either.

"Okay, Lizzie," I say. "Just one second." I place her in the middle of our bed and take off my sweater and T-shirt, dropping them next to my shoes and socks.

Lizzie's cries become full-blown screams again, and a glance at my watch tells me that her last meal was over two hours ago.

Shit.

"Come here, sweetheart. Let Daddy give you a fresh diaper, and then we'll have a yummy lunch, okay?"

I go about this business as swiftly as possible. Thank God we have the warming lamp over the changing table. Oh no, now I put her little romper on backward! Well, fuck it, food comes first.

I carry Lizzie downstairs and start to warm a bottle from the fridge.

Cedric comes in and extensively licks his paws, looking quite smug.

I blow out a deep sigh when I'm finally sitting down with my daughter happily eating, and my nerves frazzled.

BELLA

"Okay, Bella," Katie says and takes off her gloves. "You can put your clothes back on."

A couple of minutes later, I'm sitting across from her at her desk. The rain, which started as a light drizzle, is now beating heavily against the windows.

"Everything looks very good," she smiles. "How do you feel?"

"Physically, or emotionally?" I smile back at her. I've always liked Katie, but having gone through the birthing experience with her makes me trust her even more. She has a motherly way about her that reminds me of Sue, as do her dark eyes.

"Well, both," she responds.

"I'm good. Much, much better than I ever expected to be. I mean, the constant sleep deprivation is hard, and I'm not too happy about some parts of my body, but I'm great. The bleeding stopped completely two weeks ago too."

"That's good. Any abdominal pain?"

"No."

"How's the breastfeeding going?"

"It's perfect. I mean, you know how hard it was in the beginning, but now, it's easy. I started expressing some milk too, so Edward can feed her, and we could maybe leave her with her grandparents one of these days." I smile sheepishly. "Actually, this is the first time I left her."

"Oh," Katie grins. "A big day, I see. Who's she with?"

"With Edward, so no worries there. He's perfect with her."

"How is he?"

"The happiest man on earth." I smile.

"And you? Emotionally?"

"Much better than I expected," I say. "Like I said, I imagined everything to be harder than it is. I talked to my shrink the other day, and she was very happy too."

"Wow, Bella, I'm really glad for you. You're like a model postpartum patient." Katie's eyes shine warmly behind her horn-rimmed glasses.

"Your MPP, huh?"

We both laugh.

"Well, so your blood pressure looked good too. Are you going to attend any postpartum exercise classes?"

"Yes, I plan to. Lisa, our prenatal class teacher, referred me to someone." I swallow.

"And… have you been thinking about having sex again yet? Because, as far as I'm concerned, you're good to go."

"Really?"

"Yes," she smiles. "Really. If you want to, that is."

"I do, I mean, I think I do. I know that Edward wants to, but…" I trail off.

"But?" she prods gently.

"I don't know. I'm a bit afraid?" I bite my lip, feeling silly. Why should I be afraid of having sex with my own husband? He's the gentlest, most caring person I know.

"Your body has been through some very big changes, Bella," Katie says. "Don't underestimate any of them. Only do what you feel comfortable doing. Your hormones are still all over the place, don't forget that. Many women don't feel the urge to have sex this soon after giving birth."

"I do," I say. "It's just… everything feels different."

"And that's completely normal," Katie replies. "So, like I said, only do what feels good. You want to go on some sort of birth control again, I guess?"

"Definitely," I say.

We discuss my options for a few more minutes and finish my consultation with some small talk. Katie tells me to say hello from her to Edward. The girl at the reception desk hands me a prescription and I head out into the rain.

I'm lucky, and a cab stops almost immediately when I wave my hand.

Fifteen minutes later, I open the front door to our apartment and almost take a step back. In the hall, there are two soggy and torn paper bags with stuff spilling out of them. A broken carton of eggs, trampled flowers, and wrapping paper with little pieces of meat.

"Edward?" I call, instantly panicking. "Edward?"

"In here," he calls softly from the bedroom, and I rush upstairs.

The picture there resembles the one downstairs, because it's pure chaos. Wet clothes from baby and man are strewn about the room, and Cedric sits on my dresser with a smirk. I swear to God it's a smirk!

Edward is on the bed, looking much like he did this morning, only now his pajama pants are replaced by jeans. Lizzie is sleeping on his chest.

"Hey," he says softly.

"Hey." I sit down next to him and kiss his lips. "What happened?"

"We got wet." He looks too cute. I haven't seen his hair this messy in ages.

"What did you do?"

"Shopping, of course." He raises one eyebrow, as if it was obvious. "And then it started raining, and Lizzie started screaming, and I didn't get a taxi. The bags were breaking, and when we returned home, my priority was to have her warm, and dry, and fed, so I did that. And in between, Cedric stole our dinner." He nods in the direction of our feline companion, who lounges on my dresser like it's his throne.

"I see," I murmur. I kiss him softly, and Edward's lips respond to mine teasing and tugging.

EDWARD

"Yes," Mom says again, smiling warmly. "Of course we will call if anything is the matter, Edward." She kisses my cheek. "But I'm sure we'll manage okay." She nods her head in Dad's direction. He is softly talking to Lizzie, and she seems totally at peace in her granddad's arms.

"Now get out of here, you two. And you're not allowed to collect her before noon! Tomorrow! I want to enjoy my little pumpkin!"

"Thanks, Esme." Bella hugs and kisses her, ready to leave, while I look back at my father and daughter. He's singing to her.

My dad is singing!

"So where are we going?" Bella asks once we're in the back of a cab.

She looks incredibly beautiful in a little black dress that shows off all her curves, her hair draped loosely around her shoulders, cheeks pink in anticipation.

This is almost like a first date or something. It's just us, and the intent of the evening is clear. Just being us. A couple. A couple in love.

I kiss her softly.

"Where did we go on our first date?" I murmur against her lips.

"Really?" she smiles.

"Yeah. Since Cedric ate all our steak the other day…"

Weber's Steak House is exactly the same as I remember it, comfy and homey. The hostess leads us to our table next to the fireplace, and I order a bottle of champagne. I know that Bella can't drink much, so I don't plan to, either, but it's an occasion.

Our first post-baby date.

I grab her hand across the table.

"You look beautiful," I say.

"Thanks…" All of a sudden, she looks shy. "You look very handsome, too."

I squeeze her fingers.

"You know that Lizzie is okay with my parents, right?"

"Yes," she hastily assures me. "Of course! She's totally in love with your dad!"

"Hmm." I don't get to say more because the waitress comes with our champagne. She has me taste it and I agree, and she pours us both a glass, but all this time, I can't get over the feeling that she's trying to flirt with me. I mean, is it really necessary for her to bend down in a way that I can look into her blouse?

I look away and stroke Bella's wrist.

Her boobs are real, and much, much more beautiful, anyway…

We clink our glasses. The champagne tastes nice.

My wife looks nicer.

"So what looks good to you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Bella's big eyes get even bigger. "A New York Strip steak! With a baked potato and everything!"

"Everything?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Yes," she says. "Everything."

"I think I'll have the same," I say.

We talk a lot. About Lizzie mostly, but also about our families and friends. Apparently, Seth and Collin are having problems in their relationship, and I didn't even know about it. Bella is certain they'll be okay though, and since she's known Seth practically all her life, I believe her.

Our dinner is lovely, and we share the same dessert we did when we came here for the first time: chocolate soufflé. Bella is ever so slightly tipsy and completely adorable as I feed her fluffy pieces of goodness. We laugh – a lot – and it's wonderful to be so carefree with her. We linger over coffee, our hands playing with each other. She's so beautiful. I love her more and more with each day.

She snuggles into my side on our way home, her hand on my thigh. I kiss the top of her head, inhaling her scent.

"Happy?" I ask.

"Very," she replies.

The rainy New York evening passes by without us paying attention. We're sharing soft, sweet kisses. Bella's fingers are lightly tugging at my hair while mine caress her cheeks and neck.

We almost don't notice when the car stops in front of our building, and Bella giggles into my neck while I pay the cabbie, giving him a huge tip because the poor guy had to witness our smooching all the way.

I hold our umbrella over Bella as we make our way inside, greeting the doorman. She frowns a little as we wait for the elevator.

"What are you thinking?" I ask, passing my knuckles over her cheekbone.

She shrugs. "It's just… It will be odd to be at home… without Lizzie."

"Oh, my love." I pull her close and kiss her forehead, simultaneously fishing my phone out of my pocket.

While we ride up, I text Mom, and by the time we have taken our coats off, she has responded with a picture. It's Carlisle, bottle-feeding our baby, both of them seeming very happy and at ease. I show Bella the picture.

"Oh my God, that's so sweet," she gushes, before her expression changes again, and without forewarning, a couple of tears drop on her cheeks.

"What is it?" I ask worriedly. I pull her into my arms again. It's easy to forget that she's still hormonal.

"It's just… I really miss my dad and Sue," she sniffles into my chest. "I'm sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry about, love," I say. I draw her even closer, burying my face in her hair. "I understand you completely. But look, they'll be here for Christmas… Or if you want, we can go to Seattle before that. It just depends on whether I can get some time off work again this soon. Ben's going on vacation in a few weeks, and –"

"It's okay," she mumbles, looking up into my eyes. Hers are huge and watery, but she smiles. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. "Would you be a total darling now and pour your wife a glass of wine?"

"Absofuckinglutely."

BELLA

After a perfect dinner and my little almost-crying attack, we're on the sofa, having a glass of wine while lazy jazz tunes perfect the atmosphere. I'm wrapped in Edward's arms while our lips are connecting between terms of endearment and small giggles.

It seems such a long time since we've been this way, even though it's not really. It's different – we're different. We created this perfect, tiny being together, which changed us irrevocably.

A small moan from me melts into Edward's lips. His fingers are making slow circles on my back, going lower and lower, getting nearer to my ass.

This is so silly, and stupid, and sweet. He's pussyfooting his hand downward. It's a bit like a first date, unsure about how far we want to go. I know how far I want to go. I want to go all the way.

My heartbeat increases as our kiss becomes more passionate. Edward's lips are nibbling and sucking, and his tongue does wonderful things to mine. He feels so good, tasting like red wine and like Edward, his light stubble teasing me exquisitely. I'm drowning in him, floating away in the security of his arms.

"Baby…" His breath is hot on my lips, his hand now splayed over the swell of my butt, while the other is caressing my collarbone, his long finger stroking over the pulse point at my neck. I shudder. I tug at the hem of his crisp button-down and run my fingers over his warm, hard back. He moans when I softly scratch my fingers over his skin, hungrily demanding his lips back on mine. I pull him even closer, leaning back into the sofa until he's hovering above me. His weight on me is delicious.

For a very long time, we're lost in our bubble. I don't know when I wrapped my leg around Edward's, but it made my dress ride up, and he's squeezing and fondling my thigh while I am grabbing his hair with my left hand and his firm butt cheek with my right. I can feel him against my belly. The music has long since stopped, and the only sounds besides the patter of rain are our sighs and whispers. He's so tender, so careful, but I know he's just as excited as I am. I let go off his hair and open a couple of buttons of his shirt. He discarded his tie earlier, and it takes me just a few seconds until I can feel his chest, hair bristling against my skin, his heart pounding against my fingertips.

"I love you," I whisper into his mouth, and his hot breath catches on my lips. His eyes are dark in the dim light.

"I love you," he answers thickly before he resumes his kisses. Soft and slow and wet. I can feel my nipples straining against the soft nursing bra. All the blood in my body seems to be pooling in my lower regions. I wrap my other leg around him as well and bring him closer to me. Edward moans and his hips buck forward.

"Oh, God… baby…" His voice is strained. "I…" He swallows.

"Let's go upstairs," I whisper.

Edward says nothing, instead pulling me to the edge of the sofa and lifting me into his arms. I keep my legs wrapped around him as he carries me upstairs, all the while kissing and nuzzling his neck and ear.

He gingerly sets me down on the bed, and I can see that something has changed. There are little frown lines on his forehead. I trace them with my fingers. I slide my arm around his neck and lean in close to him until our noses are touching.

"It's okay," I whisper.

I open another button of his shirt, then another.

"I've missed you so much, Edward."

I brush his shirt down his shoulders.

I kiss him, softly at first, and then, when I feel him respond, harder. I run my hands all over his torso. I know Edward's body so well, and I love every inch of him. I love his muscular arms, and his shoulders. I love the way I can feel his ribcage, and how hard and firm he is in every way I am not. My fingers pitter-patter from his nipple to his belly. I open the clasp of his belt.

"Bella…" he groans. His hands move to my back and he slowly unzips my dress, helping me take it off.

I feel shy, even though Edward has seen me naked hundreds of times before, during, and after my pregnancy. But my body has changed. There are squishy bits that make me feel unsexy. I eye Edward as he lies on his side next to me. His eyes are… reverent. Hungry.

"You're so beautiful, baby," he whispers, as if he has been reading my thoughts. He kisses my neck, sucking on the tender pulse point under my ear. He'll give me a hickey, and I love it.

"Beautiful," he repeats, and his warm breath washes over my skin as he kisses a path to my chest, peppering my breasts with little kisses through my bra. It's a pretty, dark-blue lacy thing despite being a nursing bra. Edward likes it, making very appreciative noises. He doesn't open the bra, or move it out of the way, just keeps kissing me while he murmurs words of adoration. My hands are back in his hair and I close my eyes and relax.

"Baby." His mouth is on mine suddenly, and he nips at my lips. "We don't have to do anything, you know that. Just tell me what you're comfortable with…" He swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. His eyes glisten in the yellow light from the bedside lamp.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.

"I'm comfortable with you," I whisper. "I love you so much, Edward. I want you so much. It's just… I guess I'm afraid that things might be different…"

"I get that." He places two small kisses on my lips. "That's why I want you to tell me what feels good, or if anything I do doesn't… This is new to me, too."

"I know, darling." I tug at his lower lip. "I really, really want you…"

"Good." He smiles, his eyes crinkling at the sides. "Because I want you too. I want to feast on your body…" He kisses my breast, scrambling lower on the bed so he can kiss my belly. For a moment, I cringe and bite my lip. My belly is soft and round and nothing like it used to be; he can't find that attractive.

"God, you're so beautiful," Edward mumbles against my skin. He licks over my bellybutton. "I love your belly… Beautiful belly…" He kisses and licks and kisses until I forget to feel self-conscious, especially when Edward pulls at my thigh-highs, rolling them down each leg and kissing every inch of newly revealed skin. He kisses my calves and knees, and my thighs. He kisses my hip, and then he kisses me through the lace of my panties, and his hot breath makes me shudder once more.

Slowly, he pulls my underwear down, continuing his kisses and caresses. By the time he has reached the inside of my thighs, he tenderly spreads my legs open. Soft, soft lips, contrasting tickly stubble.

"Ah!"

His tongue darts out, and I am in heaven. He makes all those noises, clearly conveying that he enjoys what he's doing. So do I.

He licks. He sucks, carefully at first, but getting bolder when I groan and writhe in pleasure. One finger travels between my lips, circling in a wordless question.

"Oh, God, please…"

And enter the magic finger. Just one, long and cautious. He keeps kissing and licking me, and it doesn't take long until I am digging my hands into the mattress, crying out his name as I shatter into a billion pieces and fireworks go off inside me. And it doesn't stop for quite a while. I keep trembling and groaning, pushing myself against him. He only slows his movements when I slow down too, placing more kisses on me that make me shudder all over again.

"Oh, my God." I'm panting as if I'd run a marathon.

Edward chuckles. He kisses my thigh, my hip, my belly, and I can feel my own wetness on my skin. He flops down next to me. He looks adorable, his hair a total disaster, his cheeks flushed. He's also poking my waist.

"Fuck," I wheeze. "That was… incredible."

"Yeah…" He kisses my shoulder. "You're so sexy, baby."

"I think it's you who's the sexy one, mister." I turn to my side and hook my leg around his waist. "And I think I'm going to show you exactly what I mean by that now…"

Oo=oO

A/N:

I had to stop here and split this chapter in two, so I hope you don't mind if the next one starts with the second half of this lemon?

Okay, didn't think you would.

Much love, and don't forget to review! Thank you to everyone who does and has done. Each new chapter receives around 800 hits, but only about 20 reviews. Come on guys, it only takes one second! And would make me sooooo happy!

See you on Saturday!

Your

harperpitt