Chapter 56

Sheena and Tetsuya

Sheena sat in the cold room in silence with Tetsuya as they waited for the doctor with the results. Sheena didn't want to be positive again and Tetsuya knew that but why she was so strong-minded about staying with him and screwing him or not staying at all he was unsure in the least. He sat up as the doctor walked in the door.

"Sheena, I'm afraid to say that you are indeed positive again. But you are not a type A disease as we thought but a type B."

"Meaning that I will have less risks of becoming sterile if I get re-treated?"

"Yes, but there is still a chance you will become sterile, but if you were type A you would definitely become sterile after re-treatment. So, I'll let you two discuss this." He said as he left.

Before Sheena could fit in a word edge wise Tetsuya started talking.

"You are not getting re-treated Sheena, so if that means that we can't have sex then so be it."

"Tetsuya, it's my choice and I'm getting re-treated."

"Sheena. You need to understand this, someday we might not be together and you might want kids, you may want them with me, I don't know. But if you get re-treated that whole thing could be gone."

"It could make me sterile, but it might not."

"I don't want you to take the risk though, you just can't have sex with other summoners."

"But I don't want to live like that."

"You have to, can't you see the consequences?"

"Yes but to me it's worth it."

"Sheena, please see things my way."

"Ok, I won't get re-treated…"

He smiled and kissed her cheek as the doctor walked in.

"So, are you getting re-treated?"

"No."

"Ok, you know that you won't be able to have intercourse with any other summoners."

"Yes."

"Ok, well, be on your way then. If anything comes up just let me know, ok?"

"Ok."

They left and returned to the house. She was happy now that Tetsuya was happy again but she wanted to be free to do what she wanted. Tetsuya sat with her on the couch and smiled over at her.

"Tetsuya…I'm not happy with this whole idea…"

"I know but it's what's best…"

"Well, it's not like I can right now…" She said absentmindedly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing."

"Sheena. What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, just spacing out, sorry."

"Ok…" He said raising his eyebrows. She distracted him by kissing him smoothly and lying on him.

"Sheena, what is going on?"

"Nothing…"

"Sure…" He said sarcastically.

"Really, no joke."

"Ok. Whatever…" He said covering her lips with his and smiling.

Sheena sighed once he had let her lips free of his.

"What's wrong Sheena?"

"Nothing, I just feel so bad about it."

"About Tomaya?"

"Yeah."

"It was the only way out though."

"You don't understand. We had something that I've never had before. It was unconditional."

"Are you saying that I don't love you?"

"No, not at all. I just feel that I still love him."

"Then go back to him."

"I can't, I love you too."

"Well, you have to decide."

"Tetsuya…"

"It's fine, just think about it for a while longer."

"Ok…" She sighed as he got up and went to his room. She waited to hear his door shut before she went into the kitchen. She looked around to check he wasn't around. She dug around in the drawers quietly and found a razor blade. She looked away as she slid it across her arm several times before dropping the blade. She couldn't believe what she had done. How did she keep letting herself do this?

Sheena picked the blade up and threw it out, she wrapped her cuts up and sat on the couch for another hour. She thought about it more but still no answer prevailed. She couldn't decide, she loved them both but neither of them seemed better. She knew it was safer with Tetsuya but Starr had that sort of way of getting under skin and making her want more. But before she could give it anymore thought Tetsuya walked back into the room and sat beside her.

"Have you decided yet?"

"I can't but I know that I shouldn't go back. I guess I'm staying here."

"Glad to hear it." He said as he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He was getting a glass when he felt something wet on the handle to the cupboard. He looked at his hand, it was a little red. He held his hand under the light and turned it, as it turned he saw a few small red puddles on the floor. He put his finger in one and put the tip of his tongue to it, it was blood.

"Sheena, why is there blood on the kitchen floor?"

"I have no clue."

"Hmm, weird…" He said as he rinsed his fingers off and filled the glass. He wiped the blood off the floor and threw out the paper towel. In the can he saw a bloody razor blade. He picked it up and held it up.

"Sheena, what the hell is this?"

"Tetsuya, no…"

"Sheena, what the hell are you doing?" He said as he threw it back before looking her in the eye.

"I…I can't…please don't be angry with me Tetsuya…"

"But what did you do?" He said going over to her, a look of fear and confusion on his face still unsure of what she had done with it.

"I can't tell you, you'll be upset with me."

"I will be upset if you don't tell me what's going on."

She looked down and pulled her left sleeve back all the way and pulled the bandages back, revealing fresh new cuts and scars of all the old ones.

"Sheena why would you do this to your self?"

"Because I'm weak. I can't control my own emotions or how I react anymore. I can't help it, I can't stop it either."

"What is wrong with you?"

"The toxicosis did it to me…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He said as she put the bandages back on.

"I didn't want you to be angry with me, I don't want to fight anymore. I can't handle it."

"He didn't like it did he?"

"No…" She knew he meant Starr when he said that.

"Is that why? Because he didn't like it that you were cutting?"

She nodded somberly.

"And you fought didn't you? He yelled and so did you."
She nodded again.

"He's what keeps upsetting you."

She nodded.

"How?"

"He's in my thoughts."

"How can he be in your thoughts, he would need a bloodline to do that."

"He has one." She said as she began crying uncontrollably.

"What are talking about?" He said confused.

"Tetsuya, I'm carrying his baby." She said crying even more hysterically now.

"What?" He said as mad as he was confused.

"I got pregnant while I was with him."

"Sheena, why didn't you tell me?" he paused,

"Did you tell him?"
She shook her head no.

"Great."

"I'm sorry, I should have told you. I knew you wouldn't want a woman who was holding another man's baby."

"I love you but it's not my baby Sheena, it's yours and Tomaya's."

"I know that but I can't tell him."

"You have to."

She sighed and left and headed for the distant village where Starr lived after Tetsuya kissed her forehead gently, reassuring her it was going to be ok. But she knew it wouldn't be ok, she knew it wouldn't end nicely.