The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer
Chapter 52
I don't own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), X-Men (Marvel Comics in association with 20th Century Fox), Zorro (public domain despite what Zorro Production Inc. would like you to believe), or Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling in association with Warner Bros. Studios). Fun Fact: The dragon in Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire was made in part from the Basilisk from Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. Bonus points to whoever gets Itachi's phobia.
"Oh, great, he's multiplied," Temari muttered as her youngest brother made his way towards the ramen stand they'd agreed to meet at for lunch that day. Beside him was a girl in a fringed tan outfit and a brown headband that all seemed to match his blue and red outfit, somehow.
More surprising, however, was the fact that the girl was riding a pinto as she rode in next to Gaara who was, of course, riding Silver, who the redhead had bonded with amazingly quickly.
"I knew it!" Kankuro shouted, "I knew that Zorro's insanity was contagious!"
"I'm guessing that you're the delegate from Suna," Temari noted dryly, "I'm Temari, this is Kankuro, and you've met the Lone Ranger, over there."
Temari, unlike her eldest younger brother, had taken Gaara's newfound eccentricity in her stride, and had even come up with what she considered an appropriate nickname for the boy.
"I am the delegate," Matsuri agreed, "I'm Matsuri. This is Scout."
"I see," Temari nodded, "Are you particularly skilled with any weapons?"
"The johyo, somewhat," she replied respectfully, "Apart from being a diplomat, I will help Fukushin bring peace and order to the world."
Sighing at the fact that Gaara had somehow managed to corrupt someone to his crusade in what was no doubt a matter of minutes, Temari simply said, "It's nice to meet you. Try not to make a mess, and keep an eye out for the other weirdos in this village. My brother can help you get used to the oddities that go on here. Welcome to Konoha, population: Insane."
"Are we really not going to discuss how Zorro's insanity is contagious?" Kankuro asked, only to continue being ignored.
Sasuke was reading a Defense Against the Dark Arts text book when his brother burst into his room without any warning.
"Sasuke," Itachi said with a dead serious expression on his face, "I have had an important realization."
"What did you blow up, burn, or otherwise destroy?" Sasuke asked, used to his brother's antics by now.
"Nothing, but I realized a grave problem," Itachi stated.
"This isn't the drapery thing again, is it?" Sasuke asked, "Because we already burned them after they freaked you out that one time."
"This has nothing to do with my definitely rational reaction," Itachi said, "I realized that you and your friends have been lax in a duty you have to uphold."
"This ought to be good," Sasuke sighed, closing his book, "What duty are we failing to uphold?"
"You and Kiba are supposed to be part of the next generation of Marauders!" Itachi replied, "You have a pranking tradition that you've been failing to live up to! So, the only thing for it is for me to teach you how to do a legendary prank."
"You mean like painting the entire Hokage Monument orange, followed by replacing all of the Anbu toilet paper with god knows what it was, then flipping the Hokage Tower upside down..."
"That was surprisingly specific, but, yes!" Itachi said, "Now, we're going to need to figure out how exactly you're going to do that."
"I'm still not sure how he did it," Sasuke replied.
"What?" Itachi asked in shock.
"You know who Naruto Uzumaki is?"
"Of course," Itachi said, "He's that reserve genin who does a lot of construction work."
"He did all of that in three hours back when we were still in the Academy," Sasuke told him, "Still not sure on the Tower flipping trick."
Itachi stood there, staring off in the distance. Someone had topped his and Hana's greatest prank and he hadn't even been there to witness it. And to top it off, they'd even managed to do it threefold.
Realizing that his brother was going to be standing there blankly for a while, Sasuke returned to his book.
He'd let Hana deal with him when she came over for dinner.
Kakashi had done it. At long last he had finished Icha Icha Paradise. And he'd been right! The Ronin really was Taka, all along, though, despite what Kakashi had thought, he hadn't actually survived, and he'd lied about the armor keeping him alive. Taka had died years ago, while being tortured for information by Gekko, refusing to give even the slightest hint to where his brother in all but blood and the woman he loved had been taken. But, while he was dead, his spirit refused to rest until all was well, and Haru and Momoko were able to live in peace. Needing a means of interacting with the world, he possessed a set of blessed armor, but he could not stay with the pair often, as his self-imposed mission forbade him from finding peace until they had.
With Gekko having fled in a puff of smoke after losing to Haru, that day was still yet to come. While Yaju would never be able to enter the mortal world, there were other beings that Gekko could still call upon...
Still, he'd made a bet with Anko, and now he intended on collecting. And she had just entered his apartment...
"Anko," he said, "You owe me twenty ryo."
"Sure, sure," she said, "I see you finally finished Paradise. How far have you gotten into Armory?"
"What?" he asked in surprise.
"Icha Icha Armory came out last week," she explained, "You got it in your mail and I put it on your coffee table... Pretty much everyone who reads the series started it immediately..."
Kakashi turned to look at the book on the table and saw a cardboard box. Slowly, he opened the box, and found a copy of Icha Icha Armory sitting there, completely pristine.
Kakashi wept.
He had failed. He had always finished the books before the latest one came out. It was a fact that he prided himself in. Of all the things he did in his life, this was the only thing he refused to be late for, other than his visits to the Shinobi Memorial Monument. He was so distraught, in fact, that he failed to notice Anko lock his door. Needless to say, he was not going to be seen for some time, and he still wouldn't catch up on his reading.
