Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing belongs to me. It's not like I'm conceited enough to believe Smeyer reads this anyway. Are disclaimers really necessary? Yes, you say? It's a fanfiction rule? Dagnabit! Song by Alexz Johnson.
R&R!
I don't want what's good for me
I don't need a remedy
No one's gonna rescue me
From myself
I don't care if it hurts my eyes
I'll stare until I'm going blind
You can hate me
I don't mind anymore
Because I know you're the cure
That night, as Nessie's befuddled mind reeled from all this new information, her dreams were laced in even more new and old memories—though, this time not Edward Masen Senior's, but her own. She tossed and turned in her bed, sweating as her sharp fingernails gripped mercilessly at the bedsheets. Although her eyelids were tightly shut, almost as if to never wake again, she could see everything around her, while her feet carried her—her memory counting every place she had ever spent with Jacob Black, recalling every last moment up until she ran out.
Jacob and Renesmee didn't always share moments of bliss with each other, day in and day out. Sometimes, but definitely not all the time or frequently, there were moments they were at one another's throats like cats and dogs. Their voices would raise, no need for the use of megaphones, and their faces would glow a furious shade of red, her cheeks like beets. He eventually felt the need to pace back and forth like a caged lion, furious at his soon-to-be wife.
The argument appeared to pop out of nowhere, when Nessie blew up at Jacob, but that's not what it had been to her. A week before, Bella and Jacob went for a ride down First Beach on their motorcycles, and then they came in the Cullen household hours later all buddy/buddy—laughing, pushing each other's shoulders, and making stupid, sarcastic remarks. When Jacob noticed Nessie, who was eating cereal on the couch, and didn't give her a kiss like they hadn't seen each other in years like he normally would, her feelings were crushed; instead, Jacob just gave her a pitiful peck on the cheek.
Renesmee felt invisible to him for the rest of the night as he and her mother joked around like two monkeys. Watching them was sickening, the knots in her stomach churning at the sight. She knew that neither were aware of their annoying behavior, they had no intention of being hurtful, but Nessie didn't want to be around them any longer. Nessie retreated to her bedroom, and called Nahuel, because it was easy to trust her insecurities to him.
For a full seven days afterward, the small wound on Nessie's heart festered. While she and Jacob went out every day to the beach, their conversations were pretty one-sided. She had little interest in talking with him, wanting to punish Jacob with a stinging silence. It pleased her immensely when it was blatantly bothering him, his fingers cracking in agitation. He tried to hold her hand, but Nessie would responsively retract her hand upon contact; he would attempt to kiss her, but she would lightly push him away; he would ask if she was all right, but Nessie just smiled and shrugged.
Finally, the sharpened tension took its toll. Nessie couldn't concentrate on neglecting her fiance forever, and she cracked. Then, his temperature rocketed in response, and she couldn't help but feel a pinch of satisfaction at his reaction. Good. When people truly love each other, they inevitably feel secure enough to argue back and forth.
But when both of their angry disposition flared out of control, Nessie stormed out of Jacob's house and went for a long run in the park. Her legs carried her far, the wind whisked her troubles away until she forced herself to sit down and contemplate for a spell. She sat, lonely on that bench for another thirty minutes and let the tears cascade down her cheeks like a raging waterfall. Then, her head became less cloudy, and she went back to Jacob's home once the sun went down.
Nessie found her fiance in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cold cereal at the dining table. A whisper of elation electrocuted throughout her spine when Jacob's dark chocolate eyes widened in relief; but he tried to hide it while he stuffed piles of cereal into his mouth.
She shrugged off her sweater and muttered in embarrassment, "Hey."
"Hey," Jacob mumbled through his cereal-filled mouth.
Nessie playfully rolled her eyes and remarked. "How many times has Rosalie demanded for you not to talk with your mouth full?"
"In a perfect world, Blondie wouldn't talk at all," he snorted, rolling his eyes. He cracked a small smile at her.
"That's terrible," she laughed.
"So, how was your walk?" Jacob questioned, laying down his spoon.
"Good," Nessie answered, and sat down on the chair adjacent from Jacob's. "Really good, I suppose. The adventure was enlightening."
He huffed out a peeved sigh, arose from the table, and went to wash the dishes at the sink. That may have hurt her feelings a bit, but she understood—she had hurt Jacob, too, and he didn't want to be near her. It was a fair reaction. "Really? Enlightening? How do you figure?"
"I went for a long walk in the park," Nessie said, resting her head on the table.
She heard the sounds of the refrigerator door open and close, a liquid being poured in a glass mug, and a spoon stirring it. Jacob's warm hand smoothed over Nessie's exposed, alabaster back to get her attention. The half-human half-vampire girl lifted her head to gaze at Jacob, who gave her some strawberry milk as a peace offering. She accepted it with a small smile stretching the corners of her mouth and took a sip of one of her favorite drinks.
"Tell me about it," he smiled warmly and sat next to her. "You were gone for hours. If you hadn't come back in another five minutes, I would have sent the entire pack out in search parties."
"But you had to finish supper beforehand?" Nessie inquired, arching an eyebrow in amuse.
Jacob chuckled lightly, waving his hand to and fro. "Of course, I had to! I can't panic on an empty stomach."
"Yeah, I know," Nessie giggled softly, taking a large gulp of strawberry milk. "You would perish of starvation."
"See?" Jacob grinned, planting affectionate pecks on Nessie's right shoulder. "You know me so well, but go on. Tell me your story, baby."
Shrugging, Nessie just wanted to shy away from the topic in fear should have another breakdown. "It's not really that important."
"Most stories I've heard aren't important. Yours are vital," Jacob murmured against her skin.
The sensation sent delicious chills down her spine.
"Fine," Renesmee said. Swallowing shyly and nodded. "Anyway, after walking around forever, I was kind of tired, so I sat down on a bench."
"Ooh," Jacob uttered sardonically, stealing a quick kiss from her strawberry-flavored mouth. "The climax of the story!"
"Jacob, do you want to hear the story of not?" she asked, narrowing her eyebrows in a slight glare.
"Sorry, keep going," Jacob urged her.
Nessie nudged Jacob's elbow playfully. "Then a couple walked by, both wearing wedding rings on their left ring fingers, as they held hands," she elucidated, downing the rest of her strawberry milk.
"Yeah," Jacob mumbled in confusion, "and?"
"I don't know," the half-breed woman retorted in uncertainty, turning her heads towards Jacob. "They didn't look happy, mad, or miserable just being around each other, but I could tell it must have been a few years since either of them last smiled or laughed with each other. . ."
The sight of the couple completely bored by one another, especially when they seemed to be about in their mid-twenties, was frightening to Renesmee. Although, deep down she loathed the feeling of being jealous, it was better than being numb around Jacob. She never wanted to feel nothing when she was with him, but there was still a possibility she could turn them into that emotionless couple if she presumed to keep it all in. It was scary. She desired for her and Jacob to always have passion in their relationship, even if their was jealousy or insecurities to overcome along the way. Being dysfunctional was better than being in a numb rut.
"You mean they were bored by each other?" Jacob queried, his shallow breath running down the frame of her neck.
"Looking at that kind of couple made me wonder why the heck they're still together." Nessie's face contorted into an emotion caught between disgust and perplexity. Her mind was still young enough to be unable to understand why two people would get married and stay married if love wasn't a part of the equation. "If you're not happy in a relationship, doesn't it make more sense to leave and move on to have a real chance at being happy again?"
"Maybe," Jacob responded with a shrug and sat back in his chair, "unless they have kids or are using their marriage as a safety net," he suggested. "Boring is comfortable—at least they won't die alone."
Nessie sighed heavily, and rolled her eyes in irritation. "I am not an idiot, Jacob. I am completely aware that there are dozens of reasons to marry someone for the sake of something other than love," she insisted sharply. "It's the reason behind the reason I'm questioning. It just seems odd to me."
"Ain't that the sad truth?" Jacob chuckled, patting his imprint on the shoulder.
She emitted a small laugh as she shook her head. "But even knowing that, it seems wrong to—to get married without love." Do children deserve the impression that marriage can be such a snore fest? Doesn't everybody deserve to have the healthy dream of capturing real love in their lives? It's what she wanted for her children. "Them, that couple. . . How could deprive themselves of being happy? Or sad? Or angry? Jeez, feeling anything at all must be a step up from being a robot!"
Jacob rested his chin on the palm of his hand and smiled in adoration, probably slight amused as well. "Not everyone tends to think the way you do, Nessie. Life tends to be more complicated for regular folks."
"I know," Nessie sighed flatly, grimacing, "but that's just it. Life is complicated. When everything seems to be going right, life has a job to make everything complicated again, but some people make it harder than it needs to be."
"It's scary how much sense you make sometimes," the shape-shifter commented, laughing.
"I don't want that for us, Jacob. I don't. . . I don't even think you could ever start to bore me to death," Nessie said.
Jacob took a tender grasp of Renesmee's hand, and laid tiny kisses on each knuckle. That simple gesture made her soul feel content. He was so sweet.
"I agree, Nessie. You make me a happier, better person," he told her, grinning satisfactually against the palm of her hand.
"You put up with me when I'm a real pain in the ass." She didn't deserve him.
"No. I wouldn't know how or what to feel if I was in your position," Jacob admitted truthfully.
"Jacob, it's not like I don't know that imprinting is a thing that you involuntarily do—that it's your genes ordering you to mate with me," Nessie said, wrinkling her nose in thought. Yes, she also knew that imprinting wasn't all about the sex, or creating a stronger generation of wolves. It also had a lot to do with love. Jacob was being forced to love her.
"Nessie, it's destiny," Jacob replied, arising from the chair. He grabbed the back of Renesmee's seat and turned her toward him, while he crouched down to the kitchen floor. "I love you because I was meant to."
"Sure, sure. Whatever you want to call it—most of the time, I'm relieved," the half-breed confessed honestly, attempting not to lose her nerve. "I don't want you to be with anyone else, but that's because I fell in love with you—on my own. You're mine," she told Jacob solemnly. He was her Jacob—not Bella's. "Other times, it really bothers me, Jake."
"And that's okay, Nessie," Jacob murmured, drawing affectionate kisses upon her left kneecap. "You're allowed to be bugged by it, sweetheart, but I need you to tell me before it explodes. You don't have to go through your doubt alone."
"It's just hard. Sometimes I wish you didn't imprint on me. I wish you could love me just for me," Nessie let out a long sigh, shifting around nervously in her chair. The caress of Jacob's warm lips trailing up her leg was far too heavenly.
"I do, Nessie. You have to believe me."
"I want to, Jake. I really want to."
"Listen to me, I love you," he assured her, their different sets of brown eyes locked together heatedly. "And I would have fallen in love with you either way, with or without the imprint to push me in the right direction."
Nessie shook her head to and fro, her copper coils cascading down her shoulders. "You say that, but you don't actually know. Maybe we would end up like that couple in the park," Renesmee snorted, scrunching her face up in dread.
"Not in a thousand years," he promised, massaging the back of her knee.
"Don't jinx it," she warned with a wink, and caught her lower lip between her teeth. "We're gonna be stuck together for much longer than that."
"And I'm looking forward to it."
"Me, too."
"When I asked you to marry me, Nessie, I meant it. I still do," Jacob vowed, turning Nessie's hand-made ring on her finger between his thumb and index finger. "If we were both human, there is no doubt in my mind that we would still be soul mates. No circumstance changes that."
"I know," Nessie replied sweetly, her doubts melting away like frost at his gentle touch. At heart, of course Nessie knew there wasn't a single person out there in the world that could love Jacob more than she did, or a person that could love her more than Jacob did. "That's why I am going to take my own advice."
"What's that?" Jacob questioned.
"I'm not going to torture myself when there are plenty of things in life that will do that for me," Nessie stated, shrugging nonchalantly.
"But we'll always get through it," Jacob nodded, pulling Renesmee into his arms.
"Together?"
"Yeah, together."
Nessie slid her hips backward to sit on the table, locking her lower limbs around her fiance's waist. She tilted her head to the right the exact moment tilted his head to the left, their mouths crashing together devouringly. His lips were paradise to Renesmee; she could revel in the warm of his kisses forever and be gratified. Her tongue tangled with his in a chastely furious pash, drinking in the cinnamon flavors upon her taste buds, as her delicate, alabaster digits combed through Jacob's raven strands of hair.
Their chests were mashed together when one of Jacob's hands cupped her crania whilst the other roamed down to the center of her shoulder blades and pushed her back against the table. The empty mug shattered to pieces against the tile floor, and Nessie burst out into bubbly laughter.
"Oh," she giggled, brushing her index finger over Jacob's bottom lip, "can we just get married right this moment? Forget the dress, forget the presents, forget everything."
"I'm sorry, baby," Jacob apologized, but Nessie had the funny impression he wasn't actually sorry at all. "We both know that's not really what you want."
Renesmee whimpered, arching her hips into Jacob's as his hands ventured to grasp at her waist. He tugged once at the waistband of her pants, the bulge of his jeans smoothing between her legs.
"But I need you," she reasoned.
"Oh, you really shouldn't tell me things like that," he taunted, his laughs deep and husky.
"Why?" she questioned breathlessly.
"Because now, you're in trouble."
"Give me all your troubles, Jake."
Jacob raised Renesmee up. In a flash, she was sandwiched right between the nearest wall and Jacob's body, his tongue stifling the mewls of her desperation. A hand slipped between the fabric of her shirt and her skin—the hot, russet palm cupping her left breast over her bra. He paused; Nessie nodded that it was okay. His scauldering fingers dipped in to massage the bountiful skin of her breast, but both nipple managed to grow erect. Nessie's knees slid up, blocking Jacob from her, and gently kicked him backward.
"Tease," Jacob hissed.
"You can find out about how much of a closet freak I am during the honeymoon," Nessie smiled cheekily, her tongue wetting her bottom lip.
"Can I get a sneak peek?" he asked, quirking a hopeful eyebrow.
"I don't know. . ." Nessie laughed.
"Please?" Jacob begged, going down on his knees in front of her in mock desperation.
"Fine, you big whiner," she playfully grumbled, perching her bottom on the edge of the counter and spread her legs wide apart.
"Really? You better be serious right now."
"Come here, Jacob."
"Yes, Ma'am!" Jacob exclaimed, eagerly attacking Nessie's aroused sex.
Jacob's palms held his wife's knees flat against their marriage bed, his thick, pulsing manhood stroking the moist walls of Nessie's cave. She no longer had any breath left in her system to emit groans, screams, or pleas of ecstasy; all she could do was pant. Her mind was lost in a fog of scorching heat. Nessie's mouth was dry, her body writhing beneath Jacob's, the pair of them coated in a thin sheen of sweat.
For the life of her, she couldn't resist the mind-blowing sensations of her husband's long manhood ever-throbbing in her own body, pumping strongly and quickly. Her long fingernails buried into the boiling skin of Jacob's shoulde rblades, scratching light pink marks down his back. She shuddered, a sharp chill racing up her spine, as Jacob cursed underneath his breath. For the third time that night as well as the fifth time in a mere twenty-four hours, the young newlyweds released upon each other.
"Oh, Jacob," Renesmee whispered as the shape-shifter in question collapsed next to her on the bed. "Mmm, my Jacob."
Jacob lazily grinned, drawing her coiled body closer to his chest. His kissed her slick forehead, combing his fingertips through the auburn roots of her head. "How can you be so beautiful?"
Sighing in content, Nessie returned his smile. "Because that's just the way you see me."
"No. That's the way you are. I have nothing to do with it," he replied affectionately, and then yawned.
"You have everything to do with it," Nessie beamed, resting her head on Jacob's chest in an easy effort to bask in the radiance of afterglow.
"I love you," Jacob grinned.
"I love you, too."
"I love you more."
"I love you more than more."
"That's a bold-faced lie."
"It is not."
"Is."
"Is not."
"Is!"
"Is not!"
"Is!"
"How about we compromise and say that our love for each other is at the same amount?" Renesmee suggested innocently, breathing in Jacob's musky scent. He smelt of her type of heaven.
"All right," Jacob conceded, rolling his eyes, "even though I totally love you more."
"Do not."
"Do to."
"Do not.
"Do to."
"Do not!"
"Do to!"
"Jacob!" Nessie shouted.
Jacob chuckled, enclosing his muscular arms around Nessie's body, and tenderly tugged her over him. "Yes, that's it, baby," he growled huskily against her right earlobe. "C'mon, scream my name!"
A peel of outraged giggles emanated from Nessie's chest. "Oh, my goodness, Jacob Black! You're such a horn dog!"
"Yeah, but you love me," the shape-shifter reminded Renesmee, not that she needed it.
"You love me, too," Nessie replied sweetly.
"I do," Jacob nodded, pinning Nessie down on top of him.
"What time is it?" she questioned, finally noticing that somewhere in the midst of their wild night, somehow the clock was now resting in pieces.
"Hmm," Jacob yawned, glancing at the time on his cellphone. "Eleven o'clock."
"Jacob, you and I have been in bed for three hours," the hybrid laughed, rolling off of Jacob and sat up. "You didn't even eat anything for dinner!"
Grinning slyly, Jacob sat up in bed with his wife, burying his nose into her neck. His hand crept over her slender shoulder, his curious fingers descending upon the length of Nessie's stomach and trailed an index finger to trace the outline of her pelvic muscle. "You sure about that, baby? I think I got a big helping of Nessie Delight," he chuckled, nipping impishly at her sensitive, alabaster flesh. "As much as I love your cooking, eating you is so much better."
"Why, thank you!" Nessie exclaimed, gently shoving him back and patted his stomach. "Are you hungry, though?"
Almost on cue, his stomach growled. "I wouldn't mind some food right about now, to be honest."
"What do you want?" Nessie inquired.
"Maybe deer meat," he retorted, brushing her hand away from his roaring stomach.
"Oh, you want to hunt. Okay," the halfie said, stretching out her legs and let out a long yawn.
"Yeah, but only if you want to. If not, you can stay right here and I can cook for you," Jacob suggested in a low tone, baiting her to agree.
"No," Nessie confessed, a slight grimace on her face. "My throat is a little dry."
"Bloodsucker."
"Fleabag."
"Leech."
"Mongrel."
He arched an actionable eyebrow, arising from the compressed mattress. "C'mon, Nessie. Let's get going."
"Jacob, wait!" Nessie squealed as he attempted to drag her out of bed. "I need to put on some clothes!"
"Clothes, really?" Jacob whined with a small snort. "Do you haveta?"
"Embry and Quil are patrolling tonight!" she reasoned, her eyes widening in a feigned horror. "I certainly have no desire to let them see me naked. Do you?"
"Point taken," Jacob nodded.
"Just close your eyes and give me a minute," Nessie requested, covering the front of her body with the sheet.
"Why would I close my eyes?" Jacob chortled, pulling down at the cover. "Nessie, we just had sex. Obviously, I've seen you naked," Jacob pointed out, rolling his eyes.
"Yes, but it's not as alluring, or sexy, when I'm putting on my clothes," Nessie countered, frowning back at him. "If I'm naked while doing mundane tasks, you won't think I'm sexy anymore."
The shape-shifter snorted, but kept on the happy go-lucky grin that charmed her very soul. "See, I don't believe that's true. You could probably get me hard just by brushing your teeth."
She sneered, feeling just a smidgen smug. "Whatever, Jacob."
"It's true!" he exclaimed, drawing her close to him. "Except when you put on clothes, I know it won't lead to sex. Now that, wifey, is the tease of a lifetime."
"Why are you so cute?" A smile lit up her face, illuminating the raspberry shade of her lips.
He gave her a light kiss on the nose. "Because I'm around you."
"Actually, I believe you. If you were this adorable around Quil, Embry, or Seth, we would have to have a very serious talk," Renesmee said, poking Jacob's shoulder.
"Okay. We have to leave now or I'm going to tie you up to this bed," Jacob cautioned teasingly, climbing back in bed with her, "and then we'll both starve to death."
"You make that sound awfully tempting," Nessie giggled, sliding up the headboard as Jacob began to massage her left knee.
Chortling, Jacob pinned Nessie beneath him, holding her wrists down with his firm hands. "You want me to tie you up, Nessie?"
"I'll ask you nicely later, honey. Come on. I'm thirsty," she told him.
"So, will you finally get dressed in front of me?" Jacob queried, propping himself up against a headboard with a couple of pillows.
Renesmee cocked a slender, challenging eyebrow, and placed her legs over either side of Jacob's hips. "Will you be a good boy?"
Although he wasn't really paying attention to her inquiry, he answered obligingly. "Mhmm. Yes, Mama." His hands kneaded Renesmee's breasts like dough, swallowing a nervous lump in his throat as if he was planning to devour them whole.
"You're not starting off very well," Nessie said matter-of-factually, retracting his doting palms from her chest.
He shrugged sheepishly. "Go ahead, Nessie."
She wasn't quite certain how to go about doing this, a reverse striptease, but the hungry glint in Jacob's forest-brown eyes made her courageous enough to try.
Inaudibly emitting a tiny, gentle sigh, Nessie rocked her hips slowly—the warm, teasing brush of her soft skin causing Jacob to growl like the beast he was. Devilishly simpering upon him, Nessie arose slightly, ghosting an erected nipple passed his starving lips. He tried desperately to latch his mouth around the taut, rose-colored bud, but half-human half-vampire woman tauntingly reprimanded him by adorning a wicked scowl. Jacob groaned in complaint. Nessie waggled her index finger at him, and laid back on his straight-laying legs. Her legs went to spride wide, displaying the soaking sight of her pink clit. A hand grasped roughly at her breast, roaming down to the pulsing, enhanced sensations of the soaking wet core of her body.
Jacob licked his lips, groaning when Nessie stroked her fingers between her damp, pink folds. She reached the same hand forward, offering her aroused-covered fingers to him. Eagerly accepting the invitation, Jacob greedily sucked her dainty fingers clean of her juices. His teeth dragged up the length of her fingers, his tongue endlessly lapping at the delectable fluid until Nessie eventually withdrew.
This time, he groaned in pure need of her. "Jesus Christ, Nessie. . ."
The vuluptious hybrid arose, flipping herself over and went to her hands and knees. She glanced over her shoulder to him, nodding nefariously. Jacob chuckled darkly, the sound reverberating in Renesmee's ears to the point where she shivered; he raised a hand, smacking punishingly at her bottom cheeks, then again at the base of her delicious womanhood. Nessie moaned in delight, but remembered to remain focused.
She crawled off the bed, toward the discarded clothing on the floor. Finally, she stood up and grabbed the partially torn skirt from the ground, sliding up the tight, ruffled fabric over the supple, vanilla hills of her ass. Then, Nessie picked up Jacob's blue tee shirt, raised it high above her head, and slipped it slowly passed her bountiful breasts; Jacob whined. Her pert nipples protruded against the cotton texture as she tied the bottom half of the shirt in a tight knot, proudly flaunting her navel.
Crooking her index finger at him, Nessie grinned like the Cheshire Cat as Jacob quickly got out of bed, shoving her back against the wall; but before poor Jacob could get her naked again, Nessie giggled and pushed him away. He whimpered—actually whimpered—in a disapproving compliance, and took a step backward, eyeing Renesmee head to toe.
"God," he whined in defeat. "You are the best and worst cocktease ever."
"I try," she teased.
"Do you see the situation you caused?" Jacob queried, gesturing to his member standing painfully at full attention.
"Hey, buddy, it was your idea," Renesmee shrugged nonchalantly.
"Are you done?" he asked, fiddling with the hem of Nessie's, even though it was really his, shirt.
"Yes, my Jacob," she nodded kindly, dropping the vixen behavior. "I'm all done now."
"Good. That was torture."
"I like it when I get to torture you."
"Let's go."
"Okay."
"Hey, Nessie?"
"Yeah, Jacob?"
"Will you make me hungry again when we get back?" Jacob requested, all but begging.
"Sure, honey," Nessie answered with a laugh.
However, after that night's hunt, their lives would change forever. They would become the hunted.
The next morning carried just as much confusion as the night did, but there in her dreams, Nessie recalled the answers to her questions; she recalled everything. She couldn't stay in Tacoma; she couldn't let Faethra win this time; she couldn't go another day without Jacob, knowing full well he must have been waiting for her. Elizabeth Masen had given them a second chance at life, and Nessie refused to waste it by waiting around to die.
And I'm addicted
I can't break free
I won't resist it
So don't make me move out
From the afterglow
Your love's like ultraviolet
I can feel it burn
But I like it
I'm on autopilot
Headin' for the sun
For the sun
