Sorry I haven't been online in a while. I lost a little bit of my flow on this and my other stories. Instead I was writing a new one that isn't quiet ready yet. In the meantime, I have 3 glorious new chapters for you and hope to have even more soon. As always, read & review!
"You're a selfish prick, Filip!" I scream through the door, trying to fight back tears. A distinct growl comes from the other side.
"Yer fuckin insane, ya know that?" He slams his hand on the door frame and I hear him walk away.
"If you have such a fucking issue with it, no one's keeping you here, asshole!" I open the door and holler.
He turns around to face me, standing at the end of the hallway. My hands rest on either side of my little bump.
"Ask yer brother if ya don't believe me." He calls back.
"I'm not saying you were with anyone but do you understand how worried I was? You left TM at noon yesterday and I didn't hear from you, no texts or anything for over 24 hours. We're in the middle of moving and I'm fucking pregnant!" My voice breaks in a sob, my hormones getting the best of me.
The tension easily breaks and he closes the gap between us in two quick steps. My hands go to his chest; I try to push him away. He grips my arms gently, swinging them away. I look down at my feet, my anger dissipates and I lean into him.
"Ya still havin nightmares?" He whispers into my hair. I knew he understood that I was having irrational fears of him not coming home. That's probably why I was so angry with him.
"They won't stop. When you didn't come back last night, it never crossed my mind that you were with someone, I just freaked out. Every possible scenario played out in my head. When your phone was going straight to voicemail, I was terrified." I mumble into his shirt. He rubs his hands up and down my back.
"I'm sorry baby. Yer right, I shoulda checked in wit ya." He concedes.
Before I can open my mouth to say anything, something flutters in my stomach. I freeze, placing my hands against each side of my stomach. My mouth opens and closes once or twice. A moment later, there is a distant movement under my hand. I look up at Filip.
"What is it?" His face twists in panic.
I don't say anything, simply grabbing his hand and putting it to my stomach. He looks at me strangely until finally, something presses out against this hand. Dropping to his knees in front of me, he replaces my hands with his own, caressing my bump. The earlier argument now forgotten, I revel in the pride on his face.
One Month Later
"Nervous, love?" Filip reaches over and lightly rubs my belly.
I had become self-conscious at the fact I was already showing so much more than Donna or Tara had with their pregnancies. Filip wasn't deterred by my swollen abdomen, if anything he was more affectionate now. The benefit of being out of my first trimester was that I was suddenly back to normal energy levels and I was definitely on board with with his increased attention.
"More excited than anything." I can barely sit still in the waiting room seats. The whole full bladder requirement for an ultrasound wasn't helping my case.
"It's a boy. I'm tellin ya." He shakes his head at me as I bounce next to him.
The nurse sticks her head out of the door and calls us back to the room. I knew what to expect after being with Tara for her appointments but it still didn't help calm me down at all. Filip helps me get on the table and doesn't let go of my hand. Despite his calm demeanor, I knew he was just as excited as I was.
The same tech that did Tara's ultrasound comes in and explains the procedure to me. The screen lights up and she places the monitor on my stomach. The heartbeat fills the room but the sound is different, stronger and faster. I start to worry while she stares at the screen and doesn't say a word. She clicks on her keyboard a few times and explains measurements. Finally she turns to us with a surprised grin.
"Ms. Winston, I have some good news." She turns the screen so we can see what she is looking at. Moving the wand over my stomach, she points to the screen. "You can see the face and head here and the belly." She moves it a little further. "And here's a baby girl."
I look up at Filip's face to see if he is disappointed and there's nothing but pride etched in his eyes. She moves the wand to the other side of my stomach and points again.
"And over here we have baby number 2." My head snaps back to the screen, mouth hanging open. "This one is most definitely a boy; he's in a great position."
"Did you just say 2?" Filip asks, his face reflecting my own disbelief.
"Yes. It looks like you are having twins." She smiles brightly and I can't help my own grin.
"Boy and a girl?" I ask just to confirm.
"Yep." She makes a few notes on the computer and prints us out a handful of pictures.
When she leaves, I sit on the edge of the table with my feet dangling off. We're both quiet for a moment and then he places his hands on my belly with a huge grin.
"Yer givin me two babies?" He leans in for a kiss.
"Pretty sure this is all your fault buddy. At least that's who I'm gonna blame for the next few months." I tease him a little but can't help my own beaming smile.
I'm not surprised to find Tara standing at the nurse's desk when we walk out. She leans casually against the counter talking to one of the ladies there. When she sees us walk out she rushes over.
"What are you doing here? You have another week before you're back to work." I laugh at her instant reaction.
"You got to find out what I was having before the others, so do I." She pouts.
"We're having twins." The words still sound foreign to me. "Boy and a girl."
Her mouth drops open and her eyes dart between Filip and I for confirmation. I hand her a set of the ultrasound pictures. She just stares down at them.
"That's amazing! Twins? That's just. . ." She trails off, a huge smile in place.
"I know. We're on our way to Opie's before we go see Jaxson." I finish up for her. She walks with us out the door and to our car.
"You'll be back in time for family dinner tonight?" She asks suddenly turning serious. Gemma had gone back to her normal "family-oriented" self, insisting we get in line.
"Of course, I'm in no mood to deal with her." I reassure the woman.
"Wake up baby." I feel Filip gently grip my thigh, nudging me awake. It took me a moment to realize I was in the car. Shaking my head to clear it, I rub my eyes. "Time to go see Jax."
He came over and opened the door for me. Telling my brother had been slightly comical. He sat down at the table, his mouth hanging open and staring at my stomach. Eventually he came out of his shock and congratulated us, first promising not to say a word until after dinner tonight.
We waited patiently to see Jaxson and when he came out grim-faced, I immediately worried. He sat down at the table with us after a brief hug. I knew they were all stressed about the Russian shit they were dealing with. Before he could ask anything, I reached over the table and took his hand.
"What's going on?" The two of them started involving me in their business and typically I knew enough to keep quiet.
"Clay's greed is gonna kill us all." His anger boils over and he struggles to keep his voice under control. I bite my tongue against the words I've been waiting to spit out about the president.
"You just can't let it. Gotta push that weight off." I choose instead.
Jaxson was still torn between leaving and staying. I know more often than not, he just wanted out. He wanted a life that didn't involve watching over your shoulder and drowning under someone else's control. I also knew that Jaxson couldn't leave. There was never a time that I would be the one to tell him that but he was stuck, just like we all were in this life. We had been since before we were born.
"I don't wanna talk about that. Tell me good news. How's my niece?" His smile is forced but I don't press the subject.
"I hate ta break it ta ya brotha. We're having a boy." Filip tells him proudly. Jaxson shakes his head. Something about his expression doesn't sit right with me.
"Quit being mean Filip. You know that's not true." Jaxson's confusion sends me into a fit of laughter. "Actually there are two in there; a boy and a girl."
"You're fucking kidding." He stares between the two of us. "No shit?"
"Filip decided to really get the job done." Both men laugh at me for a few minutes before regaining their composure.
"Wow. When are you due?" He is worried he'll miss another birth; another milestone.
"First week in September. You'll be home in plenty of time." I rub my bulging stomach.
"You go into early labor and I'm not home yet, you better close your legs." He tells me seriously. I mock salute him and the fake smile makes another appearance.
"You're gonna come home and everything's gonna be ok. You'll have your family back together and we're gonna work through this. No matter what I'm behind you." I try my hardest to assure him that we're not going anywhere.
"Yeah and what about your brother? You think he's gonna be behind me if I decide to leave?" His face grows grim and the thought of losing his brother kills him.
Opie is Jaxson's "true North" even I couldn't understand the pull they had toward one another. Opie was able to make Jax see what was right in front of him, to accept the truth. He was someone that Jax could turn to without judgment, without fear and could depend on to point him in the right direction. I never understood the term until I watched the two of them since Donna's death; protecting each other and waking each other up when it was needed.
"I don't know what Opie's gonna think but he is going to have your back no matter what." I can't guarantee my brother will like it but he respects Jax. The blond man looks down at his hands, a pained expression on his face. "Hey, don't worry about this right now. Worry about getting home first."
"Yeah." His cold response doesn't help lessen my worry. Filip leans over close to Jaxson and in a fatherly tone, he tries to comfort him.
"Listen Jackie Boy. Yer a good man, a strong man. Yer da would be proud of ya. If that means ya gotta look out for yerself first, yer still my brother." His voice is soft but controlled. Jax gives him a half-smile but I know it's not who he needed to hear it from. The guard stops by our table to end our visit and I start the slow process of leaving him behind again.
"I love you and when you get home, you can spoil these two." I rubbed my hand over stomach when he finally lets me go. He covers my hand with his own and finally smiles a full smile.
"Take care of my sister here Chibs. Keep her sane." The two men shake hands and hug.
"Aye, that's an awfully big request." He winks at me and I scoff at both of them before Jaxson is led back to his cell.
"This isn't getting any easier." I tell Filip as we walk out. He pulls me to his side, settling his arm across my shoulders. "You better not end up in there. I'll boycott your visits."
He laughs at me at first but when he notices a couple tears trailing down my cheek, he turns to face me, sitting on the hood of my car. He loops his fingers through my belt loops and pulls me into him. His rough thumb brushes away the few tears and he makes sure I'm looking at him before he speaks.
"I ain't goin anywhere love. I've dealt wit yer brand of crazy and I love ya for it." He kisses me gently and I fall apart on him, crying and sobbing uncontrollably. He holds me close and lets me get it all out.
"This hormonal shit is gonna kill me." I murmur through my tears. He just chuckles as he kisses my head and walks me to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for me.
