#125: Bad Fortune
Ike gets bad luck after reading a fortune cookie and Pit is being disrespected once again. (TV PG V) (806)
The swordsmen are at a Chinese restaurant.
"So why did you guys bring me to this place?" Asked Ike.
"I want to you to know some Asian cultures," Marth replied.
"But you're Japanese, not Chinese."
"I know, but I heard that Chinese foods are the best kind of Asian foods."
"Yeah, let's go eat some Chinese foods," said Meta Knight.
"Hi, how many are you guys?" Asked the waiter.
"We're five guys," replied Link.
"Right this way."
The swordsmen are at a table with six seats.
"(sighs) If only we got one more, there would been six in this group," Link said.
"Yeah, but the sixth dude is too stubborn to hang out with us," said MK.
"So are you guys ready to order?" Asked the waiter.
"Yeah we are," said Ike.
Dissolve to 25 minutes after a meal.
"Ugh, that was a heck of meal," said Pit.
"Oh, I almost forgot these," said Link.
"What are those?"'asked Ike.
"They're fortune cookies. They give you luck," Marth explained.
"Heh, they don't really look like one," said Ike.
"Those cookies are obviously Chinese,"'said Pit.
"Well, eat up, guys. Mine is okay," Link said.
Pit asked, "What does it say?"
"Today will be harmless for you."
"Well, that is good. No bad guy in the way,"said Marth.
"Mine said it will be lucky," said MK.
"Mine says that I will get a new girlfriend," said Marth.
"My fortune said you suck (long censor) and you'll get no respect. WHAT?" Pit was confused.
"Ike, what's yours?" MK wonders.
"I can't show it can to you," said Ike. "It's something bad."
"Ike, please show the fortune to us," said Marth.
"Alright alright! Mine said you'll be in a messed up situation."
"Eh not bad," said Pit.
"Yeah, well, don't predict at all, you angel idiot. Yours is also bad," Ile scolded.
Pit sniffles, "My day could be worse than you?"
As they exist the restaurant, an anchor starts falling on them.
"AAAH! It's coming right at us!" Link said.
they run away from it only for the anchor to be dropped by Ike.
"Help me guys..."
"OMG are you OK?" Asked Pit.
"No, you idiot! Mine's worse! Now I'm bruised badly!"
"I know why. You got bad luck," said Link.
Pit asked, "But what about mine?"
"Yours is fine... Not even bad related." MK said.
"Ike's bad luck. Does it get any worse?" Asked Marth.
A dog pushes him out.
"That's how," MK Knight said.
Flip translation to the mansion.
"As long as the others doesn't notice, you'll be ok," said Marth.
"Stop saying those nonsense, it will be worse," said Ike.
"Alright, stay cool, Ike," said Link. "We're in non-harm way."
Ike calmly try to go to his room, but instead, a black cat came of nowhere and attacked him.
"What the heck?!" asked Ike. "Where did you came from?!"
"It's bad luck, dude," said Meta Knight. "Black cats are part of that."
"Oh, what's next, Friday the 13 is tomorrow?" asked Ike.
"Don't worry Ike, it's not. It's Friday the 13rd in a week," said Pit.
"Then I want this curse to be done before that day. God knows who will get cursed that day."
"Anyways, can we get back about me?" asked Pit.
"The fortune that said you suck. Pit, you're fine. As long as no say those exact words, you'll be ok," said Link.
"Oh, I hope so," said Pit. "I can't endure being the butt of the jokes."
"Oh my God, who that is D head?" asked Olimar.
"Dude, it's me, Pit. Don't you remember me?" asked Pit.
"Nope and as a matter of fact, you suck!" said Olimar.
Pit gasped and ran off crying.
"What a baby." (Olimar)
"Pit, what's the matter?" asked Samus.
"Don't talk to me! Everyone hates me!" cried Pit.
"There, there, I'm not affected by that luck," said Samus.
"How did you know?" asked Pit.
"I'm sure only a handful of Smashers will not haters. I'm in the minority, so don't worry about me."
Pit sighed in relief. "As long as I'm away from those haters."
"WHO'S THE HECK IS THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE!?" yelled ROB.
Pit starts to cry when ROB is clearly talking about him.
"ROB, don't be rude. He's being ignored by everyone expect for a handful," said Samus.
"You don't want to the finger, don't you? (Samus shakes her head no) That's what I thought."
Ike on the other side, is still having a terrible day.
"Ike, come on. Just hit the ball already," said an impatient Marth.
"I can't. Bad luck will happen to me if I hit it," said Ike.
"JUST DO IT ALREADY!" yelled Link.
"GEEZ, ALRIGHT!"
Ike does so but of course he was worried the whole time. The baseball came back at Ike, causing him a black eye. He cried in pain.
"My God, that was painful," said Link.
"Tell me about it," said Marth. "I never got a black eye before."
Marth and Link then heard Ike crying loudly in the distance.
*END OF ACT 1*
*START OF ACT 2*
"Whoa, what was that?" asked Link.
"Ike's being a baby," said Marth.
"Great, another of those moments."
"Ike, what is it now?"
"A black cat is attacking me!" cried Ike.
"So, that's the stupidest reason to cry!" said Link.
"Hey, shut up, pointy ear!" said the black cat.
"Oh my god, it can talk!" said Marth.
"You darn right I do!" said the cat. "And I'm gonna Link's life a living hell by following him over and over."
"Why am I unlucky?" aske Ike, crying.
"We should look for Pit, he's also kinda unlucky," said Marth.
Marth and Link rushed to where Pit is at.
"Pit, Pit, we're here for you buddy. Now before you say anything, take a deep breath," said Link.
"I already did, Link. Now are you guys are just gonna hate me or defend me?"
"Don't worry, we're defending you," said Marth.
"Thanks, guys. In fact, let's go have lunch with our friends." said a flattered Pit.
As they walked through the living room, they saw an angry Fox, Falco, and Wolf.
"My, my, who's this? One of the most unlikely fellas at Smash Mansion," said Falco.
"Thanks God we always pick on you," said Wolf.
"Yeah, cause you're useless. I'm glad you weren't in a game for a decade and a half," said Fox.
"Guys, guys, please, I can change. I gotten better," said Pit.
"That's what you always said to our friends. Get him, you two," said Wolf.
The Star Fox characters attacked Pit.
"(wails) Why am I so hated?!" he asked.
"Link, I don't think Pit and Ike can't stomach this day any longer," said Marth.
"I know, I feel bad for them. We gotta end this," said Link.
"Oh my God, guys, what's happened?" asked Samus.
"Your bestie got attacked by a wolf, a fox, and a birdbrain (Falco: Hey!)," said Link.
"Oh God! You all, stop it! This is what you used to be, especially Fox," said Samus.
"Shut up, B word!" Fox made a remark.
"Alright, that tears it! You three leave me no choice," said Samus.
She blast a huge blaster on the three, though hurting Pit as well (even more). Pit cried in pain.
"We'll be back, fools!" said Wolf.
"Since when did Fox and Falco start acting like bad guys?" asked Pit, confused.
"Probably ever since you and Ike got your bad luck," replied Marth.
"Well, fellas, we gotta hurry it up. I can't hurry being bullied anymore. Enough is enough," said Pit.
"And also, we gotta get Ike too. I know just the place to stop this jinx," said Marth.
*Flip translation to a place called Mount Whitney*
"Why did you guys bring us here?" asked Ike.
"Because the highest mountain of a state always bring people joy," said Marth.
"I don't believe in that baloney," said Ike. "But, again, another specific reason why we're at Mt. Whitney?"
"Because they got the cure for bad luck." replied Marth.
"I'm so sure," Ike said, doubting.
"Geez, Ike, stop being doubtful. Let's climb the mountain and see what they have," said Link.
Marth, Link, Samus, Pit, and Ike started climbing the mountain and this lasted for 6 days. Once they got to the peak, they found something.
"Guys, look. There's that cure I was talking about," said Marth.
"Oh my god, I believe in you now," said Ike.
Just as they approach to it, a live Chinese man came out of nowhere.
"Hǎo, climbers. What brings you here?"
"Our friends Pit and Ike are diagnosed with bad luck. Can you cure them already?" asked Samus.
"Are they're hurt badly?" asked the Chinese man.
"Yes! Now cure them," said Link.
The Chinese man does so and it was a success.
"Pit and Ike, you two have officially been cured. Now go on and enjoy the good life," he said as he disappeared.
"So what was that?" asked Pit.
"I don't know, some tour guide," said Marth.
"Well, guys, on the bright side, I don't have to put up with that black cat. He froze to death anyway," said Ike.
Cut to a frozen cat who was eaten by a fat climber.
The guys (and Samus) laughed.
Once they stopped laughing, Ike asked something.
"Uh, how do we get out of here?"
ENDED on a confused note.
