Promise

Kathryn Shepard screamed.

"Commander Shepard, are you all right?" EDI's voice filled the room.

"No!" Shepard's eyes flew open as she sat up, grabbing for something that wasn't there. The forest was gone; the little boy and the fire that had consumed him were replaced by more familiar surroundings. She was alone in her cabin. "What?"

"Are you all right, Commander?" EDI repeated.

"Yeah. It's...just a dream." She rubbed her eyes and checked the time. Oh four hundred.

"Of course, Commander Shepard. Do you need anything?"

Flopping back down onto her bed with a groan, she stretched and stared out the window above her. "No thank you, EDI. Where are we?"

"We have just arrived in the Widow System and are on our final approach to the Citadel. We should be docked within the hour. Do you require ground transport?"

"Yes please, at oh nine hundred, to Huerta Memorial."

"I will arrange it for you, Commander."

"Thank you, EDI."

EDI signed off and Kathryn was alone with her thoughts. She wouldn't get back to sleep; once the nightmares started, they didn't stop. If she wasn't chasing the little boy through a ghostly version of Stanley Park, she was reliving the moment Kaidan got hurt, or conjuring up images of her friends and family being abducted and indoctrinated by the Illusive Man. It was becoming more difficult to get a good night's sleep and she had quickly fallen back into old habits to keep herself occupied. Working hard, working out, spending time with the crew during her off hours, and rebuilding her collection of model ships kept her busy during the day and wore her out enough to help her sleep a few hours each night. She got up and stretched, ran through her workout routine, and prepared for the day.

An hour later, she turned on her computer and scrolled through her messages to find the one Kaidan sent the previous day.

Kate,

Still in the hospital, but up on my feet, eating solid foods, and causing trouble for the nurses. They'll probably throw me out of here soon.

I decided to take Udina's offer, and want to talk to you about it in person. Come see me if you can.

Love,
Kaidan

She hated that she was missing these milestone moments in his life, but reminded herself once again that this was how it had to be. The importance of her mission was reinforced several times a day, it seemed. As special as this honor was for Kaidan, she would have to settle for enjoying it from a distance. Kathryn leaned back and reflected on the past week.

Samantha Traynor's vigilance and intellectual curiosity had led her to discover an SOS signal from Grissom Academy and a turian signal in response, indicating that they'd responded and evacuated the school. Traynor thought the response was faked, based on Shepard's past experience with Cerberus, and she was proven right. Shepard launched a successful rescue mission. Much to her surprise, her old squadmate Jack was working as an Alliance instructor at the Academy. Jack and the students they'd rescued, along with the school administrator Kahlee Sanders, were now part of Admiral Hackett's fleet. David Archer was among the students, looking much healthier than when he'd been a captive of Cerberus's Project Overlord. It was a blow to Cerberus.

After their escape from Grissom Academy, the Normandy continued on to the Pranas System to host the krogan, salarian and turian summit. The pleasure of being reunited with Urdnot Wrex was quickly overshadowed by his demand for a genophage cure in return for krogan support for the turians. He maintained that the salarians had krogan females, immune to the genophage, on Sur'Kesh, and that a cure was possible. As incredible as it sounded, it turned out to be true, and none other than Doctor Mordin Solus was Wrex's inside connection. What appeared to be an easy pick up turned into another rescue mission when Cerberus troops arrived. Shepard was now host to Primarch Victus, Urdnot Wrex, Mordin, and Eve, the only immune female who had survived. Mordin needed time, and tissue samples from both Wrex and Eve, to finish the cure, and then they could proceed to Tuchanka to distribute it to the krogans.

Kathryn shook her head. The myriad consequences of these events were too much to consider so early in the day and there were moments when she was certain thinking about any one of them raised her blood pressure to dangerous levels. She turned her thoughts back to Kaidan's message and wrote a quick response.

Kaidan,

On my way, will see you later this morning.

Love,
Kate

She got up and peered out the window above her bed. The Normandy was docked at the Citadel. Hungry and eager to check on the crew and their guests, she left her quarters and headed to the mess hall for breakfast.

x ~ X ~ x

Seeing Kaidan on his feet, dressed in his blues, looking as healthy as ever, was such a relief she almost cried. He was standing at the window, looking out at the lake below the hospital. As the door opened, he turned and smiled at Kathryn.

"Kate, it's good to see you."

She went to his side and slipped an arm around his waist. "You, too."

Something in her expression seemed off and Kaidan stepped back to look into her eyes. "What is it, is something wrong?"

Shaking her head, Kathryn made a dismissive noise. "No, I'm just...it's not important, Spectre Kaidan Alenko."

"Come on, Kate, don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Act like nothing's wrong, that your needs are less important than everyone else's. I'm good, I'll be out of here soon, there's nothing to worry about here. What's going on with you?" He put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm just tired, that's all. Not sleeping well." Kaidan pulled her into an embrace and she sighed, pressing her body against his."I'm better now, though."

Kaidan laughed and the sound and feel of it rumbling through his chest lifted Kathryn's spirits. "You're not fooling me, Kate. Talk to me."

She leaned back and looked at him. The little lines around his eyes deepened and his forehead creased. Concern clouded his brown eyes and she felt her resolve weakening, but she couldn't possibly tell him she was lonely and longed for his company. Sadness and frustration welled up inside her.

"Damn it, Kaidan, it is what it is, right? The job? It's...crazy. I'm making these huge, monumental decisions for these races, decisions that will have massive, far reaching consequences. This thing with the krogans-. Jesus." She ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath, annoyed with herself for losing control. "It's a bit overwhelming sometimes, and I...I just-"

Kaidan pulled close again and hugged her tightly. "Hey, hey, it's okay."

"This isn't what I...I didn't want this to be about me. I want to be here for you, with you, and not have to think about ten minutes from now when I have to leave and be commander again. Let's just be Kate and Kaidan, not Shepard and Alenko okay?"

The tension was back and she was trembling slightly. It had been a while, but he'd seen her like this before, wound up, trying to keep her emotions under control. He knew better than to push too hard.

"Okay." He stroked her hair, kissed her forehead, and felt her begin to relax again. "So...second human Spectre ever. It is quite an honor, and pretty humbling. Udina says they might have a big ceremony, even with the war. Says it'll give people something hopeful to latch on to."

"Are you ready?"

"Well, you did set the bar pretty high, but I'll do my best." He could feel her smiling against his neck. "You know, it's strange. I should have died on Mars, but I didn't. The promotion from Anderson, Spectre status...These are terrible days, but I've been lucky. Really lucky."

Kathryn took a shaky breath, remembering the Mars mission. "Yeah. You're perfect for the job, Kaidan."

"Thanks." They stepped back from each other, Kathryn smoothing her clothes. "Look, Kate, I know you were hoping I'd return to the Normandy, and I want to, but I need to get out of here and take care of some things first. I've been trying to locate my old specops squads, my students from Biotics Division."

"I think you should do this, Kaidan, you know that. You'll make a good Spectre. Any luck finding your students?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. If they were easy to find, they wouldn't be doing their jobs."

Kathryn smiled sadly. "No, I suppose not."

"Are you going to be okay?" Kaidan asked abruptly.

She hesitated, uncertain what he was asking about. "Ah...what do you mean?"

"You aren't sleeping well?" He wasn't going to let it go, she could see it in his eyes.

"Bad dreams."

Kaidan nodded slowly. "Have you talked to anyone about it?"

She sighed again. "Kaidan-"

"I know. You don't want this to be about you and everything else going on out there, but we can't not be who and what we are, Kathryn, and this goes both ways. You worry about me, I worry about you. I think about what you're up against and it's mind boggling. The reapers, Cerberus, your mission to get everybody to fight them instead of each other, it's got to be hard on you."

It was unfair of her to discount his feelings in this, she realized, and she nodded. "Okay, okay. Liara and I talk quite a bit, and I know Chakwas has sedatives if I want them. I don't. It's just the weight of the world on my shoulders, you know? I'm dealing with it."

"How?"

She snorted, finding the scrutiny uncomfortable. "I exercise, build model ships, spend time with the crew. I'm doing pretty well in our weekly poker games, and Vega and I fight regularly."

"You fight with Vega? As in boxing?"

"Yeah, bare knuckle." There was a spark of mischief in her eye and he wasn't sure if she was joking or not.

"Seriously? You box without protective gear and you let him hit you?"

"Well yeah, if he gets lucky enough." She frowned. "Hm. He's actually pretty quick on the battlefield. Maybe he's taking it easy on me."

"I don't know what I think of that," he said with a laugh.

Happy to steer the conversation toward lighter topics, she linked her arm through his. "He calls me 'Lola'. What do you think of that?"

"I think I need to have a talk with Lieutenant Vega." Kaidan put his arm around Kathryn's shoulders and kissed her temple. Her omni-tool lit up.

Swearing under her breath, she turned it off. "Joker has the worst timing ever."

"I guess I'll have to have a talk with him, too." He tried to hide his disappointment with a grin.

"Kaidan, I'm sorry I-"

"You don't need to apologize, Kate." He turned to face her. "Please remember that you don't have to hide anything from me. Right?"

Goddamn, why am I not insisting he come with me right now? "Right. We'll exchange vids?" She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her body against his.

"Mmm. Yes." Kaidan slid his fingers into Kathryn's hair, tilting her face up. "Take care of yourself, Kate." He kissed her forehead lightly. "Promise me, Kate."

These last words whispered across her cheek light as a feather, and then his mouth claimed hers. She replied with an incoherent mumble, her grip on him tightening as her heart pounded in her chest. The sounds of Huerta Memorial slipped away until she could hear nothing else but the two of them, kissing each other breathless. She was acutely aware of the growing ache between her legs, and groaned.

"God, I hate to leave." She pulled away, tracing a finger over his lips.

"Promise me, Kate." Kaidan caught her hand and held it to his chest, his eyes searching hers.

Her vision blurred with tears. "I promise, Kaidan, I'll do my best. And I'll try to come back soon." There was more she could say, but Kathryn knew the longer she stayed, the more difficult it would be to leave. She touched his cheek one last time. "I'll see you soon."

Like ripping a bandage from a wound, she turned and left quickly, never looking back. Kaidan watched her go until she was out of sight, and then leaned against the window, pressing his forehead to the glass. He watched Battlespace and the Alliance News, and had an idea what she was up against, and it was frustrating that she wouldn't talk about it. He could understand why, perhaps, but it bothered him all the same. She would be a challenging woman to love if she wouldn't open up about the things that affected them most. He smiled, remembering how she had felt in his arms. Not even reapers could make him back down from the challenge.


A/N: Thank you all for reading! There's some action on the horizon, I promise, but of course Shenko fans need these moments. Again, the in game visits lacked substance, so I fiddled with it. Tccarty, Zevgirl, ioialoha, CyanB, and Zute - thank you for the reviews. Cheers, Biff