"In The Future"
Chapter 51: Without Vegeta
Pan trained both Jr. and Golyn now. She knew it was what Vegeta would have wanted her to do. They had wallowed in their sorrow for weeks, but at some point, Pan put her foot down. Surprisingly enough, she was the one who insisted on continuing what he had started. She quit her job and focused on their training. Ariel still went to Goku—Pan had no intention of changing that.
After spending days of crying and bloodshot eyes, Pan had had enough. Would their entire lives end? Would they simply be at a standstill? When she was able to calmly think on things, when the flood of emotions had begun to ease away—she thought of the things Vegeta had told her, at least of things he had spoken of closer to his death. She began to realize that he must have already known. In fact, he must have known for a very long time and had never felt the need to disclose such information to her. She might have been upset about it was she not able to think in hindsight. She would have panicked, plain and simple. She would have been incapable of actually enjoying her time with him.
How must it have been for him knowing when he was to die and never able to tell anyone? Then she stopped herself. Grandpa. He must have known. Her mind went back to the conversation she had eavesdropped on. She must have guessed right the first time, but somehow Vegeta had convinced Grandpa to lie—and that was no small task. For once they must have both been in agreement that such a future was meant to be left untold. She wondered if the same fate awaited Goku, but soon realized that her line of thinking was getting her nowhere. It was just as Vegeta told her, everyone dies—it's inevitable. He was the guardian for now; he wouldn't be leaving her anytime soon.
She didn't think she'd have much of a reason to go on living once Vegeta was no longer around, but she found she had a duty left to fulfill with her children. Only then would she feel as if she had indeed accomplished all that she wanted in life. She wondered how Vegeta must have felt before the end. Was he satisfied with how things had turned out? Was he frustrated for not seeing his children grow into adults? Or did that not matter the second time around? The answers to those questions would long be left untold.
/
Goku didn't fare well after Vegeta's departure. In fact, he was a complete wreck and he remained that way. Even after knowing that it was going to happen sooner rather than later, he still hadn't been prepared. He hadn't been there for anyone else's death besides Vegeta. Goku was generally the one sacrificing himself for others. Now that the roles was switched, now that he was the one being left behind, he felt bereft of any sort of happiness he felt towards life. He understood at a much deeper level how Pan must have felt when he all but abandoned her. He understood Chi Chi's depression and how Gohan and Goten must have felt on that day and he felt utterly guilty.
He didn't let Pan see, he couldn't allow her to see how much the loss had affected him. Not when Pan seemed to be pulling through quite well on her own. She appeared to have far more fortitude than Goku had suspected. He had expected her to fall to pieces. Not that she hadn't been crying on that day or the days after, but that was the healthy kind of sadness—the natural tears you would shed for the loss of someone you love. His tears, if he had cried at all, were ones of hopelessness, of eternal suffering. How long would he be here on Earth with only himself while his friends passed on? Guardians typically lived for a long time, doubly so since he was a full blooded Saiyan, even more since he had spent so much of his time in a realm that lacked time. He was quite a bit younger than Vegeta. In fact, his hair hadn't even begun to gray and certainly not whiten. Most people would be delighted to learn that their lifespan was quite substantial and Goku might have felt this joy if only there was someone else to enjoy it with.
Hadn't he known at some point in his life when he was old enough that he would eventually have to watch his mate die either of old age or sickness? Perhaps he'd been running away from that eventuality. Maybe that was why he had left or one of the many reasons why he had chosen that path. That she was gone when he returned hadn't come as much of a surprise to him. That almost all his other friends were met with an untimely end was far more surprising. That only Vegeta was left from the original Z-fighters was depressing enough. At least there was someone. He hadn't realized how much of a crutch that was until his death became a reality—the "old days" had ended. The days when everything was right in the world was now over. Vegeta had been a reminder of how Goku last remembered life to be on Earth. It seemed he was left in a world completely foreign to him.
Pan was practically a stranger to him. She had always been a child in his eyes, but she simply wasn't anymore. He had the same reaction with Bra. They weren't simply the child of Gohan and the child of Vegeta—they were their own person with their own lives. And 18—well, she got the death she had always wanted. She was an ageless android—she couldn't hope for anything better after Krillen's death. She'd been perhaps lonelier than anyone else, locked away in her house surrounded by the things of her loved one. Fate had finally been kind enough to end her suffering and it had been at his own hands.
Goku might have been able to hide his pain from Pan, but he didn't put up quite so much effort with Robby. They lived in the same place and Goku had no intentions of keeping up such a front in his own home. He couldn't be bothered with training Robby for the time being and he had told the boy as much. Robby was more than welcome to continue improving on what he had taught, but Goku was in no mood to oversee such things. Goku expected Robby to be frustrated with him. He was fully prepared for his anger, but Robby never showed him as much. The child must have understood what Goku was going through and simply let him be.
Ariel still came over to train, but instead of with Goku, she did so with Robby. It was a beneficial arrangement. Vegeta had taught her much in the short time that he trained her personally and she passed on such knowledge to Robby who was only too eager to learn. Ariel was more concerned about Goku than Robby was and always asked about him whenever she came over.
"How's he doing today?" Ariel asked Robby upon her arrival at the Lookout, "Has he come out of his room at all?"
"I knocked on the door like you told me to do, but he didn't respond. I didn't think he would. He just needs some time to himself."
"How much time?" Pan asked stolidly, "How long is too long? I think it's unhealthy to be left to yourself for months like this. I think he needs someone to talk to."
"And who would that someone be?" Robby asked with a shrug. "I'm just a kid he's been training."
"Yeah, but he trusts you."
"He trains me—he doesn't have to trust me to do that."
"Wait a minute, you don't know, do you?" Ariel asked incredulously.
"Know what?"
"I mean, why do you think he's taken out the time to train you?"
"He's bored?" Robby said with a shrug.
"No," she said shaking her head, her excitement becoming nearly palpable.
"Oh, just tell me already."
"Grandpa's pretty powerful, you know that right? And the only person's he's ever trained is his firstborn son. He's usually not around long enough to take the time to teach someone how to fight especially since he's always learning himself. At least, that's what my dad said. The fact that he's training you is no small thing. Why you of all people? Haven't you ever wondered that?"
"I guess…"
"Well, partially because it's convenient and he wanted to keep a promise to a friend, but the real reason? He wants you to take his place."
Robby's eyes grew big when she said this. "You can't be serious. I'm not—I can't—I'm just a human. I mean, he's a Saiyan and Saiyans are powerful. Why not you?"
"Oh calm down. It's not like that. He wants you to take his place as Guardian of Earth."
"What does that even mean? What do I have to do?"
"I don't know. You'll have ask Grandpa. Sounds cool, though. And it sounds pretty important."
"Sounds like too much responsibility."
"It something Grandpa and Dad agreed on—and they didn't agree on much."
"You mean…Vegeta thought I could do it?"
Ariel nodded.
"In that case," Robby said looking away from her, "It's fine with me as well."
Ariel was perhaps the only other person that knew how much Robby had looked up to Vegeta even after only meeting him a few times. He had seen how Goku had respected him. Vegeta could get away with saying most anything to Goku and there would hardly be any repercussions. When he was strong enough, he wanted to show his accomplishments to Vegeta. Of course, he wouldn't specifically ask for Vegeta's audience, but Ariel had planned on convincing him to come over to watch her spar with Robby. That had been the plan. She understood his fascination with her father—he garnered the same type of fascination from Golyn and Jr.—it seemed everyone had wanted to impress him at some point. Ariel herself could care less. She had had him wrapped around her finger. In fact, she remembered how anxious he had been to see how well she had progressed in her training. It would have been an easy task to showcase a sparring match with Robby.
However, it saddened her when she realized that she had kept him at bay for too long. Now he would never see her progress and Robby would never get his wish of gaining Vegeta's approval. That he had agreed with Goku's plan to make Robby Earth's Guardian would have to suffice. Ariel knew Robby would have no qualms about becoming the Guardian once she mentioned that.
"Sorry," Ariel said quietly. "If it's any consolation, I think you're doing quite well with your training. But maybe it's better this way."
"What do you mean?" Robby responded crossly.
"Well, Dad wasn't easily impressed. You'd at least have to be a Saiyan to even get close to such a thing. He's always seen humans as weak anyway. He'd have sooner hurt your feelings than anything else."
"I guess you're right…." Robby said with a pitiful sounding voice, "I was just being silly."
"Hate to say it—but you were. Now, I think it's time training commenced."
Robby gave her his full attention. He knew after the first day she had come to train with him and Goku that she was not to be trifled with even if she was a girl. He had made that mistake once and would never make it again. Ariel was a far harsher trainer than Goku ever was. Goku would shower him with compliments and encouragements—Ariel would only do such things sparingly and almost always grudgingly. At first he had resented her presence, but now he had gotten used to her style of training. That she was also easy on the eyes was always a plus.
/
A few days passed before Ariel finally told her mother of how Goku was really faring after the funeral. He'd hidden his sadness from her for a reason, Ariel supposed, but she had had enough of his wallowing. It was clear to her that Robby could not get through to him, not with something this deep and personal. Goku simply hadn't known Robby for very long. The only person left that had any remote chance was her mother. And before the day was up, Pan was flying off to the Lookout to check in on her Grandpa.
Pan touched down on an eerily quiet lookout. Robby had already been through a tiring training session with Ariel and was probably asleep and Goku, of course, was locked away in his room. At least she supposed this was the case as she marched over to the large building. She opened the door to Goku's room quite easily, but he was not there. Then she calmed herself as she searched for his ki signature. It was low but detectable. She exited the building and went out to the back. There he was sitting on the edge of the Lookout with his legs dangling off of it. He didn't appear as if he would topple over, but Pan could never be too careful. She walked slowly so as not to startle him. Certainly he must have by now been well aware of her presence. He simply hadn't turned around to her.
"Grandpa, what's this about neglecting your training with Robby? Ariel tells me you spend you days locked away in your room. I hope you don't plan on starving yourself to death."
He didn't respond; he didn't even turn his head. With this, Pan walked over next to him and sat down as well. She leaned forward to see his face. His eyes were red rimmed and he stared out to space completely in his own world.
"Grandpa! Snap out of it," Pan shouted frustratingly. "People die sometimes—it's just a natural part of life."
She waited for him to say something back, but he was mute. So she simply sat beside him hoping that eventually he'd say something, give her some kind of evidence that he was alive in there somewhere. It took what felt like an eternity for him to acknowledge her presence. He turned his face to her and studied her evenly as if it was the first time he had seen her.
"What are you doing here?" he asked at last in a strained voice.
"I came to see how you were doing," Pan asked quietly, deciding to take the calmer route when responding to him. "How are you?"
"I'm just…reminiscing."
"For how long?"
"Just today."
"And what about before? You can't lie to me. Ariel told me everything."
Goku turned from her then. "I couldn't find the strength to leave my room. That's all."
"No, that's not all," Pan persisted. "You look terrible. You smell terrible. Like you don't care anymore."
"What should I be caring about anymore?"
"Robby for one."
"Ariel is doing just fine with him."
"Me," she said stolidly. She heard a sharp intake of breath. "Didn't you say you wouldn't abandon me again?"
"Pan, I've never been there for you. Why should that change now? You're not a little girl anymore. You can take care of yourself. You certainly don't need my help."
Pan was taken aback from this statement. She hadn't expected to hear such a confession from him. It blew the wind out of her sails.
"Am I right?" Goku asked to a suddenly quiet Pan.
"That's not the point…I—it hurts me to see you this way, Grandpa."
"What have I to live for, Pan? I abandoned my loved ones all those years ago and now they've abandoned me as well—it's what I deserve, I suppose. I took them all for granted. I was only thinking of myself. And here now, that's all I'm doing."
"What about Earth?"
"What about it?"
"This is your home—it's always been. This is the place you love so much. This is the place you've protected time and time again."
"I didn't love Earth, Pan. I loved the people who called Earth their home. That's why I protected it as well as I did. I wanted them all to live a long and happy life. Some have, some haven't. Now that they're gone, Earth is just a place."
"But you're its guardian," Pan reminded him.
"And Earth has always been cursed with guardians who know little about Earth. How can you truly care for a planet at this distance? All you can see is that there is greenery, water, sky. The common person has no inkling of the guardian's existence and the guardian himself hasn't the slightest clue about the common person. Is that what the remainder of my life will be? Protecting those who I barely know?"
"You protect the helpless, remember that?" Pan asked. "You don't have to know them to care for them. That's who you are. Even if you don't' know somebody, you instinctively want to help them."
"You give me too much credit," he said shaking his head slowly. "In any case," he said as he stood up from his sitting position, "I think I'll be fine now."
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Pan accused looking up at him now.
"I'm going to take your advice. Take a nice bath, find some new clothes, and eat somewhere. I suppose the person who built this place wasn't exactly thinking practically—there's not a kitchen in sight. You can come with me if you like."
Pan was surprised by his sudden change of pace. She was immediately suspicious. "Yeah, sure I'll come with you."
Pan waited outside as the other got ready. Certainly, he did have a different air about him. In fact, from the moment she had seen him this day, he was different. He was older, she realized. She couldn't imagine her Grandpa saying the things he had disclosed to her this day. Perhaps he was changing. She just hoped it was for the best.
Grandpa had always seemed ageless and unchanging to the point where Pan thought it was impossible for him to be any other way. Now things were different. Now that he had truly experienced loss he had begun to reevaluate his life.
After about half an hour, Goku was ready and Pan travelled alongside him to an arbitrary eatery—a buffet he had been smelling for a while. His appetite hadn't changed but he was more conscientious about how quickly he could put down food. There were other patrons there who deserved their fill as much as he did—so he ate slower and waited for the food to be replenished before going for more. It was something that Pan had never expected to witness. When it came to food—Goku was pretty straightforward. Not this time.
"Are you feeling okay?" Pan asked surprised by the whole thing.
"I'm fine," Goku replied with the beginning of a smile.
He was clearly amused by her reaction.
"Is that a fork you're using?"
"Oh this?" he said holding it up a bit. "I've seen humans use it all the time—and Chi Chi was always so embarrassed to go to any public eating place because I couldn't use it properly. Well, how am I doing?"
"Superbly," Pan grinned.
"That's what I like to hear."
After spending a couple hours at the buffet, Goku wanted to do some more exploring and Pan tagged along. It was far better than him sitting in his room all day. Far be it that she tell him that she just wanted to go home.
"You don't have to stay with me all day, you know," Goku told the other. "I told you, I'm fine."
"But it's so sudden. Why now all of a sudden?"
"I guess I just wanted someone to talk to for a bit. Someone who'd understand me. Thanks for coming over."
"It was no problem, really."
"You've given me something to think about. Besides, I still need to train Robby."
"Oh, and Ariel isn't enough?"
"Ariel is still a novice herself, but she has potential. I'd like to see her grow as a fighter."
"Well then, I think my work is done," Pan said with a broad smile. "As long as I know you're moving forward and not standing still, everything is fine now. If you don't mind, I have to make sure my kids aren't getting themselves into trouble."
"Don't let me stop you."
With a nod, Pan took off into the air unconcerned with any passerby that might have seen her—not that there were any at the moment. Goku watched her for a bit and continued down the street aimlessly. He didn't expect to walk into anyone—humans hardly walked on their own streets. They had cars that flew them everywhere. There was one last place he was meaning to visit before returning home and he too took off into the air.
/
Bra had moved on the best she could—by buying as much liquor as she could so that she could drink herself into a stupor night after night. There was no one at her place to tell her not to do it so she did it and it felt good. At least at first she did. But even her Saiyan blood couldn't protect her from the effects of poison especially not after the first month. She found herself completely bereft of energy and emotions. She also didn't care.
Things had run their natural course, hadn't they? Her parents had died before her. Vegeta, the invincible, ever powerful, Saiyan Prince had met his end. Not at the hands or an enemy or in the throes of battle, but of old age. She couldn't believe it. Old age. Even Saiyans couldn't escape time. His passing was peaceful. Ironic. After such a tumultuous life, such an end was a kindness.
She'd known. Deep down, she had known that her father wasn't as energetic as he should have been. She could sense her father's condition perhaps at a deeper level than even Pan being his daughter. She hadn't wanted to bring up her suspicions to him. Vegeta wasn't someone who you asked about his health. It had always been a personal subject for him. His very essence had grown weaker, his ki becoming nearly impossible to sense any longer. She knew that he didn't have much longer in this world, but she chose to ignore such signs. She used to be able to sense her father from anywhere. She was so familiar with her father that it was possible, but in the last few months, his presence became undetectable as if he was holding onto life on a very thin thread. She felt him slipping for weeks, but it was too much for her to concentrate on day in and day out. She felt his tiredness and she felt his struggle until she simply shut off her senses altogether with drunkenness. That he died came of no surprise to her.
She was glad that he was dead. At first that had been the case. Living had become a chore to him, she realized. It was more like torture than anything else. His body was simply worn out. His death was a mercy. However, when she physically saw his lifeless body at the funeral, all the emotion she thought she wouldn't feel, she felt. A terrible sadness came over her and she couldn't stop crying. Her and Pan cried endlessly at the ceremony—a small one though it was. Ever since then, she'd been unable to put down the bottle. She didn't want to drink with anyone else besides herself.
That was when there was a knock on the door.
"Go away!" Bra yelled at the door in a slurred voice. But the knocking was insistent and oddly familiar. "I said go away!" she shouted, this time without thinking she threw the bottle she had in her hand at the front door.
"I'm coming in, Bra," the voice behind the door said stubbornly. She knew it to be Goku's voice and it took her by surprise.
"Goku?"
He opened the door easily despite it being locked. He beheld a wasted Bra on the living room couch.
"Great, now you can get me another bottle from the fridge," Bra said the moment of the surprise shattered.
"No, I won't."
"What? You come into my house—
"I won't do it. I just came to see how you were doing, Bra." He closed the door then. "And from the looks of things, it's a good thing I came."
"You came here to talk, didn't you? Then go find some place to sit already."
Goku sat down on the love seat near her. "Always practical," he commented.
"Practically insane, you mean. I've been called that plenty of times before."
"But I know better. I think you're perfectly normal considering the parents you had."
"Yeah my parents…they taught me a lot," she said with her voice still slurred. "They both trusted you—so I'll do the same. Only trusted people can barge into my house like this."
"I feel privileged."
"You better," Bra replied a little riled.
"I can't imagine how you must feel, right now."
"No, you can't. I don't want to feel anything but still I…I mean, that was my dad. He was supposed to be invincible. I thought he was going to live…"
"Forever?" Goku suggested.
She only nodded, her stringy blue hair rubbing the couch that she laid on. "I want to be angry at something, but no one did that to him….it was completely natural. It's infuriating. I barely spent time with him in the end. We used to be so close. I was so busy trying to be my own woman. I…was rude to him…unnecessarily rude to him. I should have supported him more. I should have tried to understand him more…it was just all about me all the time. And I abandoned him when he needed me the most. If Pan hadn't been there…"
"I'm sure he still loved you all the same."
"The funny part is, I know he did. There was hardly anything I could do to make him stop loving me…I took that for granted, you know. I knew I could be as mean as I wanted to him and he'd still look at me the same way. His little girl. I resented that. Now it just seems really sweet…and I miss it. I miss knowing that there was always someone in the world who would love me unconditionally no matter what I did and no matter who I became. It was so…special and all I could think to do was squander it…"
She began to tear up then and the more she thought about what she lost, the more tears came. Goku came to her and pulled her close so that she could have someone to cry on. She struggled to get out of his grasp as he sat down beside her, but then she thought better of it and simply continued to cry. She fell asleep there in his warmth.
/
When she woke up far more sober than last night, she was embarrassed. She frantically pulled herself out of Goku's grasp waking him out of his quiet slumber.
"What the hell are you doing here?!" Bra shouted angrily. "How dare you!"
Goku, fully awake now with all her yelling, looked up at her disheveled form. "You invited me in, remember? Besides, I couldn't just leave you when you were crying like that."
"Yes, you could have. It would have been quite simple in fact. I'm a big girl—I can take care of myself! I can cry quite well on my own."
"I can see that," Goku said noting how damp his shirt still was from her tears.
"Are you trying to get back at my dad for knocking up your granddaughter!? Get out of here already!"
"Geez, alright, I'm leaving. I'm glad to see you're doing better today."
He made his exit quickly as he saw her eyes crackle in anger. They were familiar eyes, ones that reminded him far too much of Vegeta. But at least she seemed more alert. However, he knew it would be a while before she had actually recovered which worried him. He couldn't simply leave her to her own devices even though it seemed like she wanted it that way—it would not be in his personality to allow her to continue along that path. But that meant that he'd have to continue to see her—and he shuddered at the thought. Perhaps he could convince Pan to take time out of her busy schedule to attend to her. It wasn't only that she reminded him of Vegeta—it was also that she looked exactly like Bulma. All of which didn't sit well with him.
Whatever the plan was going to be, Goku felt as if he just might be able to do it—to become the Guardian that this world needed. At least for a little while. He'd take a backseat to the action and allow for the young ones to see to any future dangers. Besides, he did say that he was going to make Robby the new Guardian one day. When that day came, he felt that Earth would finally be left in capable hands. Of course, he'd still be there. And he knew he'd be there until the day he passed on as well.
END
AN: Well, that's it for this story. Finally, I can say I finished something I started. However, I do have a second part to this story that will focus on Vegeta's time in Otherworld. Let me know if you have any interest in it or if you're so done with this story already.
