"Give me the leaf."
I lifted my tongue and pulled the mandrake leaf out from under my tongue, placing it on the piece of parchment McGonagall offered me. She brought the leaf up to her eyes to observe it.
"No serious loss of leaf and it held together remarkably well." McGonagall nodded approvingly. "We can proceed."
McGonagall tossed the leaf and the parchment into the waste bin beside her desk and moved to the center of the room. I followed her. McGonagall turned to face me.
"The key to the Animagus transformation is letting go of your human form. Your body is human so naturally it wants to be what it is. This is why human transfiguration is so difficult – humans know what they look like and so they naturally want to stay that way. Animals have a less clear picture of their own form and are therefore easier to transfigure into something else."
I nodded in understanding. That lined up with everything I'd read over the years.
"You will likely go through various stages before you complete a full transformation," McGonagall warned. "Most people find it easier to cover themselves in fur or feathers or whatever else have you. It's when you begin to alter the flesh and the inner workings that things get even more difficult. If you can even sprout wings by the end of this term it will be a miracle."
I nodded grimly. I knew that this would likely take ridiculous amounts of time but I was willing to put the work in for the sake of having the ability. I had an advantage too – because of McGonagall's mirror I knew what I was supposed to be turning into so I could guide myself into that form instead of having to let the magic do what it will.
"Focus, Miss Potter," McGonagall instructed. "Clear you mind. Allow yourself to forget that you even have a body, much less what it looks like."
This first step was sounding a lot like Occlumency and I was glad I had at least some experience with this. As was becoming a force of habit I closed my eyes and tried to erase everything from my mind, my wand dangling from my fingers. I tried to erase facts about my appearance from my mind, but it was tricky. Things like that were so engrained in a person's identity.
This would be even harder than Occlumency, I realized as I closed my eyes tighter and focused harder.
"Potter, you have skipped dinner the past two nights. Are you being ridiculously obsessive again?"
I smirked as Snape entered the apprentice's lab. I was glad to have the space – it made brewing potions much easier. I'd already added several of my own potions books to the shelves and Silas was curled up near one of the cauldrons. I had all three going at once.
"Are you brewing antidote to Veritaserum?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow at the silvery liquid bubbling away in the cauldron closest to the door. "And… murtlap essence?"
"Yep," I said as I pushed the slit murtlap tentacles into the cauldron on the other end, watching as they began to leech into the solution and turn it blue. I nodded in approval and stepped back, wiping the slimy remains of the tentacles off of my hands on a rag.
"May I ask why you've chosen to brew such potions?"
I nodded. "Because I'm going to make Umbridge sorry she ever came to Hogwarts," I replied simply.
I had no reason to hide my actions from Snape. In part because it was better that he knew what I was doing seeing as he could barge into the lab whenever he wanted. For another he was a part of the Order, meaning he was on Dumbledore's side and therefore by definition against Umbridge. The only person that could hear me in here was Silas and the only person he could report to was Harry, who already knew. On top of that, I trusted Snape with my life.
Snape jerked his head around to stare at me warningly. "Potter," he began, "you know better than to antagonize Umbridge…"
"Who said anything about antagonizing her?" I asked brightly. "If I pull this off she'll never even know I'm involved. She'll continue to grow more and more confident in trusting me and that will make the betrayal in the end all the sweeter."
Snape's eyebrows jerked heavenward. "What has our resident Ministry plant done to make you so furious?" he asked, almost sounding amused.
"Well I wasn't pleased with her when she dosed me with Veritaserum but I got around that alright," I said, scowling at the antidote bubbling on the end. It would take another month to complete, which was why in two weeks I'd be starting another batch in my last cauldron. I could brew murtlap essence in a night but Veritaserum was much more complicated and thus took a more complicated antidote. I was hoping that spacing my brewing thus would mean I always had some on hand.
"But what really sealed it," I continued casually, "is that she made Harry write lines in his own blood for detention. For that, she's going to pay dearly," I growled. "The best bit, though, is that she's asked me to help her keep an eye on Harry in exchange for contacts that will help me get a brewing business of the ground. I'm following the pirate philosophy you see, sir. Take what you can and give nothing back." I laughed.
"You're playing a very dangerous game," Snape warned. "Be careful, Potter, I cannot stress this enough. While I have very little problem with you torturing the pink terror you need to be wary – she's not as stupid as she seems."
"Oh, I know," I admitted. "That's why I plan to never be connected to these potions when they hit the school. Let's see Umbridge try to dose students when all of them have a vial of antidote in their pockets." I laughed again.
"Be that as it may, I don't appreciate you putting your plan for vengeance above our lessons," Snape said coolly. I glanced down at my watch and winced when I saw the time.
"Damn, sorry sir," I apologized. "I got distracted by the potions."
"I'm familiar with the sensation Miss Potter but you have too much on your plate to be losing track of time. Come, let's work."
I sighed and straightened up, casting a quick protection spell around my potions so that if I fell and rolled I wouldn't tip over the cauldron. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to block out the surrounding smells and sounds.
This time I didn't try to clear my mind, really. I began to float inside of my mind, drifting among vague memories and thoughts. I tried to push those faint whispers of memory completely away and simply exist within the confines of my own mind. It was tricky, with the sound of the bubbling cauldron and my own breathing.
"Legilimens!"
I kept going up through the castle and stopped in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. She was snoring away, her mouth lolling open. Grinning, I reached out and flicked the portrait in the nose. The Fat Lady came away with an indignant yelp, casting around furiously.
"Wha- where? Who? You!" she said, enraged, as she saw me there. I grinned.
"Guess what?"
The Fat Lady groaned aloud. "Oh not again-"
"Lionheart," I said smugly, and she swung open against her will.
The scene changed. It was like I walked through the portrait hole and into the Hufflepuff Common Room. It was right after the first task, when I'd gone to see Cedric and give him the phoenix tears.
"H-Hey!" I looked around and saw a tiny first year standing up from a table full of his fellows, trying to look threatening. "Y-You shouldn't be here! How'd you get in?"
"Relax, if I was here to do damage I'd have come at night and been a little sneakier about it," I said shortly, addressing the entirety of the room. "I'm here for Diggory, is he in?"
One of the Hufflepuff prefects stood up and addressed me. "And why do you want him, Potter?" he asked calmly. I rolled my eyes.
"That's not really your concern, is it?" I replied, letting my wand slide from my sleeve and into my hand as I crossed my arm. My wand tapped against my bicep pointedly.
"Cedric is resting," the prefect said coolly. "I'm not going to bother him unless you tell me why you need him."
I sighed and shook my head. "Thankfully, I don't really need you to figure out where he is."
"Potter, do we need to have a conversation about breaking into other house Common Rooms?" Snape asked as I picked myself up off the floor, rubbing my knees and wincing.
"No sir, I think I've pretty well got it figured out by now," I replied drily, rubbing my head as another headache began. I got the feeling I'd be dealing with a lot of those and decided that until I was ready to start on some more antidote that second cauldron would be brewing a headache remedy.
"May I ask why you entered those Common Rooms?" Snape asked in a voice that made it clear he wasn't asking, he was demanding an answer. I grinned.
"The first one I was nicking Harry's cloak. The second I was taking Diggory phoenix tears after he got his face burned by his dragon." My face fell slightly at the memory of Diggory. Predictably, the image of him sprawled on the ground, sightless eyes staring up, loomed in my vision. I closed my eyes and shook it away. That wasn't going to help me.
I took a deep breath, to brace myself against the Legilimency as much as the memory of Cedric.
"Again."
I was in ecstasy. Pure, complete ecstasy. That was the best description for how I was feeling.
I did a lap of the entire Quidditch field on my Firebolt before returning to the rest of the team on the ground. I stuck out like a sore thumb. For one, I was the only girl. For another, I wasn't built like a log. I was a hummingbird next to my team's crows, the notable exception being Malfoy.
Montague was standing in front of more boulder-like boys, Crabbe and Goyle among them, clutching expensive brooms. I recognized a couple of older boys and even some brave third years who were sporting determinedly clenched jaws despite being outweighed by at least fifty pounds by the other Beater candidates.
"Only two of you will be coming out of this on the team," Montague said bluntly. "We don't let people on the team because we like them. We let them on because they make us better. Take Potter here." He gestured to me. "She doesn't look like much, but she's damn accurate with a Quaffle and she can fly circles around half the other teams."
I rolled my eyes. "Thanks Montague," I said drily.
"We'll be putting you through rigorous testing today," Montague continued, ignoring me. "If any of you don't think you're up to that, you're welcome to piss off." He looked pointedly at the third years. To their credit they only looked slightly hesitant.
"Alright then, everybody get in the air. We're going to be doing some laps. The three slowest will automatically be cut. Mount up!"
I threw a leg over my broom and kicked off, shooting up into the air with my team. My hair whipped behind my back along with my robes as we shot off as fast as we could around the pitch. My Firebolt could outstrip everyone else's Nimbus 2001s but I decided to stay with the pack. I gave a quiet laugh as I glanced over my shoulder and saw the third years struggling desperately to keep up.
"Don't know what they were thinking."
I turned and wasn't entirely surprised to see that Malfoy had fallen into place beside me.
"They'd be slaughtered on this team," Malfoy continued, jerking his head at the flagging younger students.
"You're rooting for Crabbe and Goyle, I expect?" I guessed.
"Of course," Malfoy said with a shrug. "Hitting things hard is what they're best at, after all."
I sniggered and put on a little speed, pushing forward. Malfoy edged along with me as the other two Chasers soared past me. They glanced over their shoulders and grinned smugly.
"Excuse me, I need to teach our teammates what flying is," I said and shot forwards, outstripping the Chasers, then Montague leading us all, until I was several yards in front of everyone else, laughing gleefully as the wind stung my ears and eyes. Flying really was one of my favorite things. It made my heart pound and my blood race.
"Oi, Potter, pull back!" I heard Montague call. I slowed myself down regretfully and fell back with the rest of the team. Montague rolled his eyes at me.
"We know you're bloody fast, Potter, you don't need to show off!" he huffed before leading us all into a dive back to the ground.
I shrugged, unabashed. "Couldn't resist."
Montague sent off the pair of third years and a sixth year with extreme prejudice, they having been the slowest. He also tossed out a seventh year who had tried to hex one of the other contender's brooms.
"We're a team," Montague told him bluntly when he tried to protest. "You act like that during a game and we'll get hit with so many penalties we might as well just chuck Gryffindor the cup to save time!"
After that we Chasers retrieved the Quaffle and started flying in different techniques. The Beater candidates were given ten shots to try and get close to us – close, but not hit us, Montague warned dangerously.
I passed to Montague who dropped the Quaffle down to Warrington, who pitched the Quaffle up to me. A Bludger soared between our ankles, nearly clipping Montague's foot. He wheeled around and the rest of us peeled off to follow him as he chucked the Quaffle with extreme prejudice at the Beater candidate's head.
"Watch it!" Montague warned the Beater candidate as I swooped around and caught the Quaffle barely a foot from his face. I hurled it towards Montague, who tucked it under his arm and peeled off up the field with Warrington and I flanking him. Montague made a goal just for the hell of it and Warrington dived, catching the Quaffle. He feigned to me and then passed it over to Montague, who tossed it back to Warrington, and then I had it again. I dodged a Bludger hit at me and wooshed past the Beater candidate, coming close enough to rock him on his broom with my back draft but not actually hit him.
Montague called down the pair of fourth years we'd been working against and sent Crabbe and Goyle up. They looked like trolls, hunched on their brooms and holding their clubs with brutish expressions on their faces.
Warrington, Montague, Warrington, back to me, and back to Montague. We passed the Quaffle between ourselves as fast as we could, flying circles around the slower, clunkier forms of Crabbe and Goyle. They whacked Bludgers at us as hard and as brutally as they could. Several came close, but none as close as the one that had nearly taken off Montague's foot. To my surprise, Crabbe and Goyle were actually pretty decent. They even managed to cut Warrington off with a quick backhand that sent a Bludger flying across his path.
Warrington jerked up short in surprise and the Quaffle slipped through his fingers. I dropped and caught the ball before soaring back up and passing to Montague, who streaked up the field.
"They're not bad!" Montague called as he scored a goal. I dove for the Quaffle as it went through the hoop and caught it, hurling it up to Warrington...
"Potter, roll!"
I didn't question the call. I jerked sideways into a barrel roll and my eyes widened as a Bludger sliced through the air where my head used to be so fast it whistled. I shot off and straightened myself out, flipping the pair of them off angrily before catching the pass from Warrington.
"They're really good!" he cackled. I chucked the Quaffle back at his head angrily. He just caught it and tucked it under his arm, still laughing, the bastard.
Finally all the pair of Beaters had tried out and Montague called us all down from the air, promising that the announcement of the ones who'd made it would be posted in the Common Room before dinner tonight. Most of the other candidates moved off to the castle to grab showers. I saw Malfoy grab Crabbe and Goyle and drag them aside.
Curious, I lingered a short distance away pretending to be adjusting a bent twig on my broom as I listened in.
"You do not pull things like that on Potter," Malfoy was snarling at Crabbe and Goyle. He sounded absolutely furious. "You idiots could have decapitated her!"
"She's Potter," Crabbe grunted stupidly.
"She's not going to live much longer anyway," Goyle snarled nastily. "Why do you even care?"
I could practically hear the sneer in Malfoy's voice as he replied, "Because Potter dying or getting hurt would bring Dumbledore down on our heads and that's the last thing we need. Umbridge is a friend of my father's so she'd support us but it's still more trouble than it's worth!"
"Whatever," Crabbe grunted. He nudged Goyle. "Let's go to dinner."
The two boulder-like humans hustled off towards the castle. Malfoy turned around, pausing when he saw me standing there. I cocked a hip and placed one hand on it, the other holding my broom.
"You know, people who are my friend care about my safety, not the trouble me getting hurt would cause them," I said pointedly. Malfoy stared back at me.
"You know better than that Potter," he said darkly. "It would be very dangerous for me to get chummy with you. I'm not saying I'd hate it, but considering who we are…"
"You dad working for the man who killed mine," I said bluntly. Malfoy flinched like he'd been struck.
"Yeah, that," he said grimly.
I shook my head. "Look, I'm not suggesting that we hold hands and skip through the hallways, Malfoy-"
Malfoy sneered. "I may vomit, Potter, don't say things like that. Malfoy's don't skip."
I rolled my eyes. "As I was saying… we are fellow prefects and we're on the Quidditch team. It's not like it would exactly be weird to see us together these days."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow, looking unbearably smug. Pride glittered in those stormy grey eyes of him. For whatever reason, seeing that made my lips twitch up into an unconscious smirk.
"Potter," Malfoy said smoothly, slinking closer to me, "it sounds almost like you're trying to get close to me. Has my charm finally worked on you?"
I blinked. Was… Was Malfoy actually flirting with me, or was he just being his normal playboy self? Either way, it made my cheeks go warm and made me shift uncomfortably. I'd gotten used to flirting last year with Iliya, so why was it messing with me so badly now? Probably because it was Malfoy…
"Well, like I said you've been decent lately," I said shortly. Malfoy snorted.
"You keep using that word, Potter, decent. I like to think I'm spectacular."
I laughed outright. "Oh I know you like to think that Malfoy, and we all let you think that to preserve your ego." I shook my head. "No, I use the word decent because you're still an utter bastard," Malfoy looked offended and opened his mouth to protest, "which is fine because I'm usually an utter bitch."
Malfoy sniggered at that. "Patrol together after dinner?" he asked. I nodded. We were scheduled to patrol tonight – might as well do it together. After all, Malfoy was better than just wandering around the castle alone with my thoughts. I was pretty sure Snape had something to do with my patrolling schedule because I'd noticed that I was never on the roster for a night I was supposed to be working with him on my Occlumency.
"Sure," I agreed.
"I'm off to the showers then," Malfoy said, nodding to the locker room. He raised an eyebrow at me and looked me up and down pointedly. "You want to join me?" he asked silkily.
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped open. Malfoy laughed at my expression and swaggered off to the locker room. There was no question about it, that was flirting. Malfoy was flirting with me? This was a complete one-eighty from how he used to treat me. Things had started changing last year, even back at the beginning, when Malfoy had caught me and said he wasn't thrilled with how the fake Moody treated me in class.
I remembered Iliya theorizing that Malfoy perhaps had feelings for me. At the time I'd brushed it off as impossible but now I was starting to wonder. I had no idea what I could have done to make him like me, but he definitely seemed at least more tolerant of me than he had been in years past. Was it possible that Malfoy actually did have some kind of romantic interest in me? The thought spun my head.
Aside from the flirting just now, I could only think of one thing Malfoy had done in the past that could have been considered even slightly flirtatious. When we'd first started our third year Malfoy had whispered to me in the hallway once, asking if I'd like to go to Hogsmeade with him. I'd loudly replied that even if I could have gone I wouldn't have joined him any time before hell froze over and stormed off, convinced it was some kind of twisted joke he was trying to play on me.
I found myself in the Owlery and dug in my robes. I drug out a parchment and quill. Quickly, I scrawled out a note and tied it to one of the school owls so that if the letter was intercepted it wouldn't be traced back to me. It was even written in code to some extent.
Snuffles,
Everything's good at school so far. We've got this new lady from the Ministry is here. Umbridge is her name. You know anything about her? My extra projects are going well – I'm hopeful. Also, I have a question. One of the boys in my house is being a little off. Have you or any of our other friends heard anything new about our ferrety friend or his family?
Much love,
Phoenix
I watched as the school owl flew off. I was forgiving, not stupid.
"Where do you want to start?" Malfoy asked as he joined me outside of the Great Hall.
"Start at the top, work our way down and then back up?" I suggested. Malfoy nodded, heading for the main staircase. We walked in silence up to the top floor and started down one corridor. Conversation suddenly seemed difficult as we walked along, occasionally peering into empty, disused classrooms looking for rule breakers.
"So, do you think Crabbe and Goyle will make the team?" I asked. Malfoy nodded.
"I know they will, they're paying Montague good money to take them," he replied. I rolled my eyes.
"All that speech about what each person brings to the team and he gives the spot to the highest bidder. Typical."
"Even you have to admit they're good," Malfoy countered. I scowled.
"I don't have to admit anything, thanks very much. Goyle almost took my head off."
"Yeah, I know," Malfoy said, his voice tight. "I'm glad I yelled when I did."
I blinked. I hadn't processed who had actually yelled the warning, just what the warning was. Thinking back, I realized it was Malfoy's voice that had called out. Good thing he had, too, or I would have been in the Hospital Wing with a fractured skull or worse.
"…Thanks for that," I said quietly. "Although I'm not sure why you did it."
Malfoy looked at me in disbelief. "I don't want you dead, Potter!" he exclaimed. "Merlin, you're a little annoying sometimes but that doesn't mean I want you killed."
I scowled. "You're not physically capable of saying something genuine without insulting whoever you're addressing, are you?" I asked snidely. Malfoy paused. I stopped too, glancing back at him. "What?" I asked, peering at the nearest classroom door. "Did you hear something?"
"Potter," Malfoy said intently, eyes boring into me, "you have the most gorgeous green eyes I've ever seen."
I gaped at him incredulously, feeling myself blush to the roots of my hair. Malfoy's expression shifted abruptly into a prideful smirk. "See? Yes I can," he said triumphantly. I scowled, wrinkling my nose.
"You're a jerk," I muttered, crossing my arms and striding irritably down the hall. My steps stuttered slightly as Malfoy caught up with me and I realized something – I'd said genuine. So did that mean Malfoy genuinely thought my eyes were pretty? Or was he just trying to make me squirm and prove me wrong?
I glanced sideways at him, annoyed. Maybe this whole trying to be civil thing was more trouble than it's worth.
"Oh! Miss Potter, Mr. Malfoy."
I resisted the urge to stick out my tongue in distaste and make a nasty comment as we rounded the corner and encountered Umbridge.
"Good evening, professor," I replied with a bright smile.
"Good evening Miss Potter. I just finished a detention with your brother," she said with a smile. "I do believe he's starting to get the message."
The message you're carving into his hand, you crazy bitch. My smile tightened slightly but didn't fall.
"I'm glad, professor," I said earnestly. "I really hope I can get the old Harry back. Maybe your methods will be able to reach him."
Umbridge's flabby face stretched into a simpering smile. "Oh, my methods are very good at getting the point to… shall we say, sink in?"
You absolute sadist you're enjoying this!
"That's all we can hope for," I said with a shrug. "Er, if you don't mind, Malfoy and I are supposed to be patrolling…"
Umbridge tittered girlishly. "Oh yes, or course. I'll leave you two to your patrolling."
With that she gave me a wink and hustled off around the corner. I realized that Umbridge must be one of the ones that believed the Prophet's hints that Malfoy and I were in some kind of star-crossed love affair that my brother didn't approve of.
"Oh dear god," I whispered in horror. "She thinks we're together and she's doing me a favor." I stuck out my tongue in distaste."
Malfoy scowled. "I am considered highly desirable, you know," he said tartly.
"I've heard," I said, though the reason had always escaped me. "It's that she thinks she's helping me."
"Speaking of, what the hell was that?" Malfoy asked as we continued. "You're acting like she's your best friend. You never smile like that unless you're lying to someone. I figured you'd have been up in arms about what she's doing to your brother."
"You know about that damn quill of hers, then," I bit out. Malfoy nodded.
"Yeah, it's a Blood Quill. I'm pretty sure my father's got one somewhere around the Manor that he inherited from Grandfather Abraxas."
"Sounds like a nasty memento to keep around," I said in distaste. "Why bother?"
Malfoy shrugged. "Because it belonged to a Malfoy?"
I rolled my eyes. "I will never understand you purebloods," I sighed. "You're downright fanatical about tradition."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Malfoy sniffed.
I shook my head. "Sometimes things need to change."
"So, how's patrolling with Malfoy?" Lily asked slyly as the boys a couple seats away celebrated Crabbe and Goyle's new position as Beaters by plying them with bacon and eggs. They lapped up the attention and the food.
"About what you'd expect," I said carelessly. "He says something snobby, I insult him, he insults me, and we stop talking for a while. Repeat process as needed."
"Well on the bright side you're driving Parkinson absolutely bonkers," Lily sniggered, casting a glance at Parkinson. I smirked.
"And that's never a bad thing."
"Pardon me professor, but what exactly are you insinuating?"
Umbridge's sickly sweet voice carried through the Great Hall doors. I glanced at Lily and Tracey, who nodded in approval. We rose and moved with several other students toward the doors to see what had gotten Umbridge's wand in a knot. We joined a group filtering into the Entrance Hall from the Great Hall and other corridors. McGonagall and Umbridge could be seen on the main staircase, Umbridge in her usual sickening pink and McGonagall with a furious expression on her face.
"I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students you will conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices!" McGonagall snapped as they stopped a few stairs up.
"So silly of me," Umbridge simpered, "but it sounds as though you're questioning my authority in my own classroom," Umbridge stepped up so that she was at eye-level with the far taller Gryffindor head, "Minerva."
"Not at all, Delores," McGonagall retorted, stepping up as well so that once more she towered over the toad. "Merely your medieval methods!"
"I am sorry, dear," Umbridge huffed. "But to question my methods is to question the Ministry, and, by extension, the Minister himself! I am a tolerant woman, but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty."
McGonagall stepped down, shaking her head in disbelief. "Disloyalty," she repeated softly.
"Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared!" Umbridge said, taking yet another step up and addressing the Entrance Hall at large. "Cornelius will want to take immediate action!"
"Ooh, that doesn't bode well," Tracey said softly.
"Indeed," I agreed, hiding my frown behind a turn of my head. The little toad wanted to try and mess with Hogwarts, did she? With the only place where I had friends? With the closest place Harry and I had ever had to a home. She was welcome to try. I knew the castle better than she ever would and by god, I would make her regret ever coming to this school.
"You are not focusing!" Snape snapped at me as I staggered to my feet for the third time that night.
"I'm sorry sir," I sighed, reaching up and rubbing my temple tiredly. I was exhausted, plain and simple. My Veritaserum antidotes were both at very tricky stages – I'd been up with them half the night, and that was after an Animagus lesson yesterday. This year was already starting to wear on me and it wasn't even Halloween yet. I made a mental note, once the next batch of murtlap essence I had boiling was done, to start on some Invigoration Draught. I'd need it if I was going to get through the year.
"You're exhausting yourself again," Snape chided.
"Don't have a choice sir," I shrugged, rolling my shoulders and wincing. The night hunched over a cauldron hadn't done a thing for my back. "Too much to do."
Snape scowled thunderously. "You do not have to do everything, Potter! Quidditch, for one. You have far bigger problems than sports to worry about these days."
"No!" I said quickly, shaking my head. "I can't quit Quidditch, sir! It's the one thing I'm doing lately that's fun!"
Snape raised an eyebrow. "You mean all the time we spend with me knocking you to the ground is not exhilarating?"
"Oh, the highlight of my day sir," I assured him. "But I can't stop. I was just up late… my Veritaseum antidotes are both at the most difficult stages. It was only one night, sir."
"Mm, and what about when you start your next batches?" Snape challenged. "What then?"
"Then one night a month I won't get much sleep, big deal," I said carelessly. "I said I wanted to make the toad suffer. That's even more true now," I said, casting a glance at the morning's Daily Prophet that sat on Snape's desk. A simpering picture of Umbridge was plastered under the headline Delores Umbridge: Hogwarts High Inquisitor.
In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time," said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. "He is now responding to concerns, voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve of."
This is not the first time in recent weeks that the Minister, Cornelius Fudge, has used new laws to effect improvements at the wizarding school. As recently as 30th August, Educational Decree Number Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current Headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person.
"That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts," said Weasley last night. "Dumbledore couldn't find anyone so the Minister put in Umbridge, and of course, she's been an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts."
It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, which creates the new position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor.
"This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some are calling the falling standards at Hogwarts," said Weasley. "The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post and we are delighted to say that she has accepted."
The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts.
"I feel much easier in my mind now that I know Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation," said Mr. Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. "Many of us with our children's best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and are glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation."
Among those eccentric decisions are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the employment of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid and delusional ex-Auror, 'Mad-Eye' Moody.
Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.
"I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step towards ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose our confidence," said a Ministry insider last night.
Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts.
"Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office," said Madam Marchbanks. "This is a further, disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore."
(For a full account of Madam Marchbanks's alleged links to subversive goblin groups, turn to page seventeen.)
"While having this antidote on hand is all well and good, Potter, you still have no way to get it to the students who need it?"
"Do I not?" I asked, smirking proudly. Snape raised an eyebrow. He sat down sharply on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms.
"Very well Potter," he urged. "Astound me with your brilliance."
"It's not even remotely brilliant," I assured him. "It's just the house elves."
"The house elves," Snape said leadingly.
"Right, so I knew that the house elves must have some way of monitoring the castle, otherwise how would they know when people needed clothes laundered or things like that?" I explained. "And that meant that they would know which students Umbridge was calling to her and which students were just coming out of detention."
"And house elf magic can do things a normal wizard cannot," Snape reasoned. I nodded eagerly.
"I still need to ask for their help, but I'm confident they'll be in. After all, they'll be protecting us students and that's the whole reason they're here! I supply them with the potion and they leave it where someone who needs it can find it. They let me know when they're running low on anything and I make more."
Snape lowered his head and shook it. "And Umbridge will never find out because none of the students will know how they're being helped and no one would ever suspect the house elves."
"Exactly," I said, nodding smugly. "So sir, what do you think?"
"Once again you astound me with your resourcefulness," Snape admitted, and I swelled at the praise. "Quite a good plan Potter – but for one thing."
"What's that?" I asked irritably, certain I'd thought through everything.
"The house elves also serve the teachers," Snape pointed out. "All Umbridge would have to do would be to ask the house elves who they got the potions from and they would tell her."
"You're assuming they'd help her over me sir," I said with a smirk.
"Is there any reason they shouldn't?" Snape countered.
"How about four years of making them Christmas cookies?" I offered. Snape raised an eyebrow.
"You… bake… for the house elves?" he asked in slight disbelief.
"And that's why my bed's always the warmest and my clothes are always neatly pressed," I said with a grin. "It pays to be nice to the help, sir. The house elves love me – Dumbledore is ultimately their master and I wouldn't be surprised if he's told them not to give Umbridge anything that could be used against a student or the school. They will listen and even if they don't, they still like me best."
I waited until late at night before I headed to the kitchens, certain that no one would see me. It wasn't my night to patrol and I knew the Hufflepuff sixth years that were patrolling would be plastered to each other in a broom closet on the fifth floor.
I tickled the pear and stepped inside. The kitchens were quieter than usual, it being later, but there were still several dozen house elves scurrying around, hauling pots and pans, kneading dough for tomorrow's rolls, and washing the dishes from dinner.
Tippy and Dobby hustled out of the crowd, Dobby sliding slightly on his mismatched socks and tottering under his pile of Hermione's knitted hats. I rolled my eyes. If Granger would do her research properly instead of viewing everything she read through rose-tinted glasses…
"Lorena, Lorena!"
"Miss Potter!"
The two house elves were happy to see me. I crouched down, wrapping my arms around my knees as Tippy came at me with a plate of cookies.
"Tippy is trying Lorena's recipe!" Tippy said eagerly. "What does Lorena think?"
I took a cookie and bit into it. They were the chocolate-stuffed cookies that I was required to make around once a month for Aunt Petunia – a period that I always dreaded. Tippy had managed it perfectly – the cookie was fluffy and soft and the chocolate was still warm and melted. She'd found the perfect ratio of chocolate to cookie.
"Perfect!" I praised, tossing the rest of the cookie into my mouth and chewing happily, deciding then and there that I'd be making these for Christmas this year. Tippy grinned happily, flushing at the praise.
"Thank you Lorena!" she chirped. "Tippy did it just like you said!"
"Why is Miss Potter here?" Dobby asked curiously. "Is she wanting something to eat?"
"No, I need your help," I explained, getting serious. Tippy and Dobby's expressions mirrored mine.
"What is going on, Miss Potter?" Dobby asked worriedly.
"You know about Umbridge?" I guessed. "She's not a very nice person, is she?"
Tippy trembled where she stood. "The Umbridge is a nasty lady!" she squeaked out, before her eyes widened and she shuddered visibly. "Ooh, Tippy should not have said that…"
"It's alright Tippy," I assured her. "You house elves work for Hogwarts and Professor Dumbledore, right?" I confirmed. "So Umbridge isn't in charge of you, is she?"
Tippy brightened a little at that. "That's right! She's not!"
Dobby ventured closer and leaned in. "The Umbridge threw Tippy into the wall when her tea was the wrong flavor," he whispered conspiratorially. Tippy nodded sadly and winced. I scowled.
"Then you know that… the Umbridge," Sweet Merlin I loved the house elves, "is a bad woman. She's hurting the students. Worse than that, she's making them hurt themselves, like a house elves who did something wrong. Only they didn't do anything wrong."
House elves were by no means stupid, but it helped to put things into their terms sometimes for them to get the full spectrum of what was happening. And yes, I was shamelessly playing on Dobby's own history with the Malfoy family.
"The Umbridge shouldn't do that," Tippy whispered, looking horrified.
"You're right, she shouldn't," I agreed. "And she's also feeding some of the students illegal potions. I know, because she tried to do it to me!"
"The Umbridge tried to feed Miss Potter bad potions?"
I looked up. Several house elves had drawn closer, looking very grim as they took in what I had just said.
"Is this true?" asked Hilly with wide, watery eyes, pushing through the crowd. "Is Miss Potter alright?"
"I'm fine," I assured them. "But that's because I recognized the potion and I knew what to do. The other students don't all know these things."
"The Umbridge shouldn't hurt the students," one of the house elves said quietly, and there was a murmur of assent from the crowd.
"That's what I'm trying to stop," I explained. "I've been brewing potions to keep Umbridge's potions from hurting the other students and to heal them when Umbridge makes them hurt themselves."
The house elves smiled at that. "Miss Potter is a good lady."
"I need your help," I added. This was where it got tricky, and I could see the hesitancy on the house elves' faces. They were just as uncertain about going against a teacher as one would expect. My job now was to convince them to do so.
"Umbridge is hurting the students. She's changing Hogwarts, making it not what it's supposed to be. Hogwarts should be safe and comfortable – that's what you all want, right?" The house elves all nodded without even having to think. "That's what I'm trying to do – but Umbridge needs to think I'm on her side so that I can get information and keep her from doing anything worse. You understand?"
The house elves nodded and they seemed hesitant but decided. Some of them were nodding and others were squaring their little jaws and flapping their ears bracingly.
"I'll brew the potions. All I need you to do is get them to the students who need them without being caught. You can do that right? You're taking care of the students," I enforced.
"We can!" cried Tippy, impassioned. She turned to the crowd, shoving the plate of cookies at Dobby, who fumbled it for a second but managed to keep from dropping it. Tippy placed her hands on her hips and continued.
"We is the house elves of Hogwarts! We is proud! We takes care of the castle and the students but the Umbridge is not part of the castle! The Umbridge is a mean lady who wants to hurts the students! We's got a duty to stop the Umbridge! We gots to help Miss Potter against the Umbridge!"
I was surprised to see the gleam in the house elves eyes as they cheered and clapped in agreement. Tippy smiled proudly and turned back to me. I grinned at her, proud.
"Whats do you needs us to do?" Tippy asked determinedly as Dobby stared at her wide-eyed, his bat-like ears going red. I saw this out of the corner of my eye and grinned slightly.
"I'll make the potions. I just need you to pick them up and distribute them to the students in need," I explained.
"We could gets them from the Room of Hidden Things?" suggested one of the house elves. I raised an eyebrow.
"The Room of Hidden Things?" I questioned.
"If yous walk in front of the tapestry of the man who tries to make the trollses dance and think of what you needs, you can get into the Room of Requirement!" Tippy explained eagerly. "It is whatsever you need!"
I filed that away, eager to test it out. "I'm brewing the potions in the potion's apprentice's lab," I explained. "I think that would be the best place for you to pick up the potions. But thank you for telling me about the room, that might be useful."
"Yous welcome, Miss Potter!" called the house elf who had suggested it. I smiled and nodded to him.
"Well then, elves, I think we have a plan!"
The house elves cheered and I looked over my tiny army proudly.
