Jo was exhausted. Four days of physical therapy seemed like no big deal to the outside eye, and in her mind she knew it probably shouldn't be a big thing, but her body ached. She hadn't used her muscles in so long that they had literally turned to mush and it took all the strength she had to even try to move them. And now, when she could finally lie back in bed and relax, she was in too much pain to sleep. All she wanted to do was cry.

Luckily her mother had been spending more time at the hotel and leaving her alone for part of the day. Jo knew if her mother could see the shape she was in after therapy that she would never leave her side and she didn't want that. Her father came to see her once or twice a day, but for the most part he stayed away. Jo knew it was because he hated the hospital; couldn't stomach the thought of her being there or what had happened to put her there and she didn't blame him. She appreciated that he tried to be there for her. She still hadn't told him she was pregnant and she knew her mother hadn't either. He was another person she would prefer not to ever tell. She knew it would be too hard for him.

"Jo?" Mrs. Garrett's voice was calm and soft as she walked into the room. Jo glanced over to the doorway and wanted to welcome her with a smile, but she was too tired. Mrs. Garrett walked over to the bed. "How are you holding up? You look exhausted."

"I am," Jo realized her voice sounded like a pitiful groan and she hadn't meant for that to happen. "I'm sore…and tired…from therapy."

"I know," Mrs. Garrett sat next to her, her face serious. "Physical therapy is very hard Jo. I know that. Do you want to talk about it?"

Jo felt the familiar tears coming to her eyes. She was mad at herself for crying again. It seemed like all she ever did anymore. "It just hurts," she admitted. "And I can't do everything they want me to do. I still can't stand on my own. What if I never can?"

"Oh sweetie, it's been four months. Your muscles are very weak," Mrs. Garrett took her hand and held it tight. "You'll get stronger. It takes time."

"They've been having me try to stand," Jo told her. "At first they wanted me to try to balance myself with the bars, but I couldn't because my arms are almost as weak as my legs. Then they had the nurse hold me up, but as soon as I put my weight on the floor and try to stand, I get a horrific pain in my back that literally knocks me over."

"You have a lot of muscle damage in your back too," Mrs. Garrett remembered. "That's probably a lot of it. But you're doing well…you're healing."

Jo shook her head, "The therapist said that even if I get to the point where I can stand and walk by myself, I will probably still have those debilitating back pains. He said that I could just be standing or walking and one of the pains could hit and I'll fall over because of the pain in my back…without warning."

"Oh no," Mrs. Garrett looked sadly at her. She could tell Jo was scared and hurting and she didn't know what to say to make her feel better. "Did he say what they are going to do?"

Jo shrugged, "He said we'd keep trying. But Mrs. G…what about the baby? What if I fall during therapy and it hurts the baby? I'm scared of falling…"

"I know sweetie," Mrs. Garrett smiled gently. "But they are not going to let you fall. There will be someone there to support you. The baby is going to be just fine."

"And after?" Jo asked. "When I go home? How am I going to take care of Jamie? What if I fall, and it scares her? Or I end up going into labor? What if the weight from the pregnancy makes it hard for me to walk? The doctor said that might happen…"

"Jo…you have to stop worrying," Mrs. Garrett rubbed her shoulders. "I know it's scary…not knowing what could happen. But you've made it this far, and I know things are going to keep getting better."

"I hope so," Jo sighed. "This is just so overwhelming. I never thought I'd be so dependent on others. And I'm scared of ending up in a wheelchair…and all the weight I'm putting on, I just don't know how my back is going to heal."

"Oh honey," Mrs. Garrett continued to massage her shoulders and could feel Jo starting to relax. "You may need a wheelchair for a while, but you'll get used to it. And you have not put on a lot of weight."

"Five pounds," Jo argued. "I've gained five pounds."

"That's not very much. You're going to gain a lot more. So maybe you should try to calm down about it. And if it does interfere with your therapy and the healing of your back, you'll just have to take small steps," Edna looked seriously at her. "Small steps are okay."

"Hello?" the doctor's voice interrupted their conversation and both women turned to look at him. "Jo…can we talk alone?"

Jo shook her head, "I want Mrs. G. to stay. Do you have the amnio results?"

The doctor nodded and sat in the chair on the other side of her bed. "We tested for a lot of different things…disabilities, birth defects, neurological and developmental issues." He forced a weak smile. He knew the pregnancy was not a happy one for his patient and didn't want to give the impression that he thought it was. "Everything was just fine. The baby appears very healthy."

"Good," Jo's voice lacked emotion. Inside her emotions were building, but she couldn't express them. "What about the paternity test? I have to know."

The doctor didn't seem to want to look her in the eye. He shifted in the chair, "I'm sorry. Your husband is not the baby's father."

Jo felt her heart pounding and even though she knew what the doctor was going to say, she felt sick inside. "You're sure?" her voice shook and Mrs. Garrett reached over and held her.

"Positive…I'm sorry…I know you were hoping," the doctor said sadly.

"It's okay," Jo let a few tears slide down her cheeks. "I knew…" She cried harder and let Mrs. Garrett hold her.

The doctor sat in silence as Jo cried and Mrs. Garrett tried to comfort her. He didn't know what to say and felt uncomfortable, but he couldn't leave. He needed to finish going over the test results. "Jo," he said gently. "I'm sorry to interrupt…I know you need time…"

"No," Jo cleared her throat and forced herself to stop crying. "Go ahead."

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" the doctor asked. "I have it here in the report."

Jo looked at him with sorrow. "No," she said softly. "I don't want to know. This isn't going to be my baby…so I'd rather not know."

"Jo…are you sure?" Mrs. Garrett asked sadly.

"I'm sure," Jo nodded. "It'll be easier. If I know for sure that it is a boy or a girl, I'm gonna start thinking more about the baby…what it's gonna look like…and I just can't…" her voice trailed off as she began to sob once more.

"Okay," the doctor said gently. "But if you change your mind…just ask." He stood up and walked to the door.

"Mrs. G?" Jo's words shook through her tears. "I don't even know who to contact about giving this baby up for adoption. How can I just call some agency and say that I want to give a baby away?"

"Honey, you have time to think about this," Mrs. Garrett tried to reassure her even though her own heart was breaking as well. "Don't rush into anything."

"I made up my mind," Jo argued. "I'm not changing it. This is not my baby…it's going to be someone else's. Someone who will love him and want him. I just don't know where to start to make it happen."

Mrs. Garrett closed her eyes, trying to mask her own tears, "Do you want me to look into it for you? I can do that."

"Thanks," Jo nodded. "I appreciate that." She closed her eyes and spoke in a breathy whisper, "Do you mind if I take a nap? I'm really tired."

"Go to sleep," Mrs. Garrett kissed her on the forehead. Then she walked towards the door, stopping to look back. Jo's eyes were closed, but muffled sobs were escaping her lips. Her hand was resting on the slight swell of her stomach. Although she wanted to rush back to her, hug her and tell her things would be okay, Mrs. Garrett knew Jo needed time to grieve on her own. She wiped away her own tears and silently walked out into the hallway…it was one of the hardest things she had ever done.