Negan had felt the heaviness in his eyes attempting to will him to sleep, though there was a stronger force beside him that he couldn't ignore. He glanced over at Nicole, simultaneously dropping a hand lazily onto her thigh beneath the covers.
"You staring at that fuckin' ceiling is keeping me awake," he informed her lightheartedly, tipping the corner of his mouth up in a closed-mouth smile.
Nicole turned, mirroring his modest grin with one of her own before letting out a breath. "It's not so easy to sleep these days," she confessed.
"What else?"
"Huh?"
"I don't buy that you're laying awake because of all the end of the world bullshit that's been lingering now for months... so what else?"
Nicole knew Negan was unlike anyone else. He was a human lie detector and persistent in almost every aspect of his life. She knew he wasn't about to let it go, or buy some lame excuse she could use with other people.
"What's your fantasy?" she asked him seriously.
Negan studied her eyes for a moment and then a smile spread wide across his face as he let out a chuckle. "I have too many to mention, doll."
"I mean it," Nicole went on.
Negan slowly let his smile fade as he saw the unwavering seriousness in her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I'm not being judgmental," she said right away, "I just... is one woman enough for you?" Nicole shook her head, closing her eyes as if to hide from the question, "I know I have no business asking something like that. It's rude... it's forward... and I was consciously infringing on your marriage when we-"
"Stop, stop, stop," Negan cut her off calmly, "First of all... don't do that shit."
"What shit?"
"You're a strong woman." His grin returned, "You're a fuckin' badass on a number of levels, honey, but damn... don't go on backing down after asking a question. Shit, you want to know something you fuckin' ask it. Don't back down," he repeated, "Especially with me."
"I'm sorry." Nicole shook her head, running a hand through her pillow-tossed hair, prompting Negan to laugh.
"You can pistol whip a shithead like Chris; you can survive on your own for weeks while monsters try to fuckin' eat you; you can build a fuckin' community." Negan propped himself up on his elbow and stared down at her with amusement, "But yet, I can still make you melt like a damn puddle."
"Everyone has their Achilles heel."
"Don't let me be yours." Negan leaned down and touched his lips against her, smiling as he did and then kissed her several more times in a row before pulling back.
"Okay," she said quietly with a smile.
"Now... ask me what you want to ask me."
Nicole stared up at him, taking in the patient nature of body language. He leaned against his forearm on the pillow and folded his hands together; his lazy, sleep-ridden eyes never left hers.
She wanted to begin with,I don't even have the right to even ask you this... , but Nicole knew that wasn't what Negan wanted to hear. He wanted her to be honest with him, and she knew to get the answers she craved that there was no other option.
"Are you, or have you been sleeping with other women here?"
Negan instinctively wanted to dive right into his comfort zone and respond with a bout a humor, though he knew he owed it to Nicole to be serious, particularly after urging her to be honest with him.
"Do you remember what I said when we first shacked up here?" Negan let out a breath through his nose, "That it had been awhile since I'd had a woman."
Nicole nodded.
"I've put all of my fuckin' efforts into surviving so far, and shit I am glad we found each other because I hadn't fucked anyone since the start of all this shit." He raised a hand in the air, "This can only do so much."
She snickered for a moment and then swallowed hard.
"No," Negan told her, "I haven't fucked anyone here but you, doll."
Nicole decided to ride the high of being bold and honest, noting she might not get the confidence back. "Am I enough for you?"
"Can I ask you something first before I answer?"
She nodded again.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, and that doesn't happen much." He smiled and cleared his throat, "But I feel like something is triggering what you're asking."
Nicole couldn't help but smile, a crimson rush cruising into her cheeks as she felt again that Negan could see right through her. "I hate this," she whispered, still grinning as she closed her eyes again.
"You are fuckin' cute when you're embarrassed."
Nicole re-opened her eyes and felt his contagious smile penetrating her. "Dumb jealousy."
"Jealous of what?"
"Chris's wife." She cringed as the words left her mouth and saw Negan's confused, yet amused, features.
"That woman can't even fuckin' take care of herself."
"She's pretty."
"She's weak." Negan smiled wider. "Shit... I want a woman who's going to pistol whip the asshole that disrespects her, not one that's going to curl up in a ball and defend the prick." When Nicole let her eyes wander around the ceiling's patterns again, Negan waited until her gaze finally fell back on his. "Seeing as you're the first type that I mentioned," he glanced down at her bare upper body that was exposed from the top of the covers, "And sexy as fuck... I'd say you're enough... more than enough, doll."
"Yeah?" Nicole rested a hand behind her head.
"Be the woman that I fuckin' fell for."
She felt a rush of butterflies in her stomach. "Who's that?"
Negan raised his eyebrows. "A woman who would never ask a man if she's good enough for him."
Nicole stared up at him and finally let her fingers graze the facial hair on his cheek. Despite the horrible nature of the world, she had never felt more comfortable and content in her life than in that moment alone with Negan. The feelings of uncertainty that had once radiated through her body were replaced with a warmth she couldn't accurately describe if she tried.
She leaned her head up, meeting him halfway and accepted a long, enthusiastic kiss until Negan pulled away with a deep breath.
"Did I make you feel uncomfortable when I said I love you?" Nicole whispered against him.
"Can I put a limit on your questions?" he asked with a laugh, letting his nose graze against hers.
"Sorry." She smiled and let a hand drift gently against the back of his neck.
"I can't think of a damn thing in this world that makes me uncomfortable." Negan kissed her again, "Now, when it comes to this type of a shit I'm a man of fewer words but I thought you understood that you were the woman I fell for in my strong-woman reference."
"I understand." Nicole smiled and then laughed when Negan continued to kiss her as he repositioned himself on top of her.
"Good."
