So I was skimming back through some of the older chapters and realized that I made a bit of a mistake. I had forgotten (it's been so long) that I'd originally named Malcolm as Malcom Jugson. I changed it later to Gerald Malcolm. I have edited Chapter Five: Sorted Into Hell to correct that mistake. Should it show up again, please notify me immediately. Thank you guys for your continuing support! Chapter 43, I really didn't think I'd make it this far! Thank you all!
Chapter 43: Weakening
Christmas day found Lavinia and Audra sitting together in the parlor by the fire. Audra was doing paperwork for whatever political campaign she was working on, and Lavinia was researching Calming Draughts so that she could make them herself. They'd done a simple one in class, but the potion Snape had given her was of a different makeup. At noon, Lavinia rose from her chair and made lunch, a nice, light beef stew with vegetables. It was a perfect meal for a cold, snowy day indoors.
Mischa came back to visit around New Years. Lavinia was wearing the gauzy black dress she'd received from her friend for Christmas. Mischa smiled at it. "Fits perfect!" she exclaimed.
Audra came through and smiled at Mischa. "Hello dear, how was it in the Carpathians?"
Mischa grinned. "Cold, really. Nothing interesting really happened," she replied nonchalantly.
"Well you should go during the warmer months, dear, it's quite lovely," Audra said with a nod.
"I'll remember that, thanks!" Mischa said. Lavinia invited Mischa up to her room. Mischa looked critically at her friend. "How are you, Lavinia?"
Lavinia shrugged. "It's been rough. On the one hand, my mother's back to normal and that makes me so happy. On the other hand, I miss Lissy, and lately I've been feeling… I don't know," she replied, slumping down into her favorite chair. Mischa watched her.
"Something's eating you, and it's not Lissy's death, is it?" she said finally. Lavinia nodded, choking back a sob. She took a steadying breath.
"I don't know why, but I looked at mum's wedding book the night I came home and something about it doesn't sit right. There are so many pictures of the ceremony, but the reception photos seem…incomplete, I suppose. I don't know why but it makes me uneasy," she replied, finally voicing her thoughts. "I've been having weird dreams about her and father dancing, and she's wearing her wedding dress in the snow and I'm cold again, and there's a flash of light and I wake up."
Mischa nodded. "Why don't you just ask her about it? I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Perhaps they ran out of film?"
Lavinia shrugged. "I keep trying to tell myself that, but it seems so stupid. Frankly, I'm scared to bring it up. I don't want to set mum off again," she said. Mischa gently brushed her fingers against Lavinia's cheek. Lavinia shied away. Mischa frowned, then sighed.
"What have they done to you, Lavinia?" she murmured sadly. Lavinia shook her head and burst into tears, slumping into Mischa's arms and sobbing. Mischa patted her friend's back gently and held her.
"I feel so weak, Mischa! I can't even defend myself against one stupid kid! All my knowledge, all my work, training with Snape, and I still can't stop these things from happening!" she cried, trembling in Mischa's embrace. A tear slipped from Mischa's eyes, unnoticed.
"It's alright, Lavinia. It's alright," she said softly, trying her best to soothe her friend. Discreetly, she cast a Patronus with a message for Snape. A doe Patronus returned and nodded at her before disappearing. Lavinia noticed none of it. Mischa Summoned a vial of Calming Draught and convinced Lavinia to drink it. She relaxed instantly, the tears stopped, and she pulled herself together again. "Come on, clean yourself up, kid. I think you need a break from your misery. Let's go catch a film, yeah?" Mischa said. Lavinia nodded and dried her face. She applied her makeup and followed Mischa to her purple truck, grimacing in the cold. Mischa pulled a spare blanket from her back seat and threw it over Lavinia's shivering form. Her sensitivity to cold had increased tenfold since that night in the forest.
Mischa took Lavinia to see a film, as promised, and then the girls went to see Mrs. Prewett and Riley. Riley gave Lavinia a dazzling smile, but when he went to hug her, Mischa intervened with a shake of her head. She whispered in his ear and he nodded in understanding, settling for the lightest touch of Lavinia's short hair. "How are you, kid?" he said, adopting Mischa's term of endearment. Lavinia gave him a weak smile.
"Alright, I suppose," she murmured. She lowered her gaze and made her way to the end of the sofa, curling up and staring in the fire. Mischa quickly spotted her mum and intercepted her before she could try to embrace Lavinia.
"She's not doing well, Mum. She's been through hell this year, the Slytherins tried to kill her. She doesn't like to be touched anymore. So don't smother her, okay? I know how you are, and I just don't want her upset," she whispered quickly, touching her mother's arm. Mrs. Prewett's eyes grew wide and she gazed at Lavinia, horror and sadness etched in the lines of her face.
"Oh, dear. Hello Lavinia," she said softly, visibly restraining herself from wrapping her arms around the girl that was no longer a child. Lavinia looked at Mrs. Prewett and gave her a sad smile.
"Hi, Mrs. Prewett," she said. Her smile faded and she gazed back into the fireplace again. Mrs. Prewett's eyes grew wide, and she exchanged a look of deep concern with Mischa and Riley. Both expressions mirrored her own.
They passed away the afternoon with little interaction from Lavinia. The redhead sat staring silently into the fire, barely speaking or moving. When Riley lost his balance and his hand fell on her shoulder, she screamed and scrambled away, eyes wide and terrified.
"Lavinia!" Mischa cried, running to her friend's side. "Lavinia, it's alright, shhh, it's alright. You're safe," she said, her voice low and soothing. Lavinia calmed, then burst into tears, jumping up and sprinting out of the house. The Prewetts stared after her for a moment. Riley's eyes were wide, his hand was upon his mouth, and he was shaking.
"I didn't mean to," he whispered, mortified. Mischa patted his arm.
"I know," she murmured.
"I'll go after her," Riley said, and without further ado, he donned his coat and took off after her.
XXXXXXX
Snow rained down upon Lavinia like a freezing fire, making her weak and slow. Still she ran; to where, she didn't know. She found herself in front of the dance studio she'd gone to over the summer. She let herself inside. It was empty, and slightly eerie, but the desolation and darkness was soothing to Lavinia. She sighed in relief. It was warm in the studio; classes must have already ended for the day. She wandered into rooms she hadn't visited before and thought vaguely that James would really like this place. There was a music room the size of the Great Hall in the back of the studio filled with instruments. She touched a piano. It came to life with a melody that was both angry and melancholy. It matched her emotions perfectly. She grazed her hands across a violin, a harp, and a flute. They, too, came to life and added their sweet melodies to the mix. She didn't care if she got in trouble for using magic. All the better if she were expelled. She'd never have to go back to Hogwarts again.
Sadly, no such luck befell her. The magic went unnoticed, and she spent hours in solitude until at last, Marcus opened the door. The instruments fell silent and returned to their places.
"Mischa said you'd run off," he explained. "She's got half the pack looking for you. I'm glad to see you safe." Marcus sat down next to her. "Do you want to talk?" he asked. Lavinia shook her head.
"I want to go home," she murmured.
"Alright. Come on, I'll take you home. And here," he handed her a package. "That's for you. It was meant to be a Christmas present from the pack, but with the full moon approaching, we forgot to send it," he said, giving her a small smile. Lavinia opened the package and pulled out a black fur cloak. She returned Marcus's grin with a nod and a feeble attempt to smile. "It's charmed so that you will never be cold." Lavinia looked up into his eyes. This time, she managed a real smile, though it was brief and fleeting.
"Thank you, Marcus," she whispered. She donned the cloak gratefully. It fell to her ankles and covered her completely. It was indeed warm. The fur was soft against her face as she drew up her hood. "What type of fur is this?" she asked.
"It's fur from the mane of a black manticore. It was ill, and I was caring for it. I couldn't save him, so he gave me his fur. I think you will have much more use for it than I," he replied, holding open the door. Lavinia nodded and went with him to a black car. Cary sat inside, holding Mischelle.
"Hello, dearie," she said, wrapping Mischelle's blanket more firmly around her. Lavinia returned her greeting solemnly and sat silent until they arrived back at the Cross home. Lavinia made her way alone to the door and let herself in.
XXXXXXX
A note arrived for Lavinia shortly after she'd made her way to her room and collapsed onto her bed.
Lavinia,
Marcus said he'd found you, are you alright? You scared us. Riley wants you to know that he is terribly sorry. He didn't mean to frighten you. Please let me know that you're okay.
Mischa
Lavinia sighed as she put the letter down. She sent a short reply letting Mischa know that she was indeed in one piece and that she forgave Riley and knew he didn't mean to scare her. She sent the message on and crawled back into her bed. Her tape player was lying next to her. She put in a Morbid Angel tape and listened to it until she fell asleep.
Weak, so weak. She could barely move. Fear gripped her like a vise and her heart pounded in her chest. Faces all around her, hands touching, never knowing if they meant her harm. Pain surrounded her. Lissy's head floated before her eyes. She couldn't breathe. She was falling…
She woke with a start, tears streaming down her face. She'd never felt so broken in her life. She found herself restless once more and got up. After pacing her room proved unsatisfying and she couldn't muster up the will to dance, she wandered the house once more. Dawn found her in the parlor, her parents' wedding book in her lap once more.
"Good morning, sweetheart," Audra's voice said softly. Lavinia barely looked up at her mother. She was staring at the last picture and the blank page next to it. Audra looked over her shoulder. "You found the wedding book," she said sadly.
"There should be more pictures," Lavinia whispered, not trusting her voice. The absence of pictures still bothered her greatly. The couch dipped down as Audra lowered herself next to her, sweeping her dark curls out of her face.
"I'm not sure what happened to them. I…" she paused, expression confused. "I don't guess I've thought about it since, but the last half of the reception is such a blur." She smiled. "It was wonderful, I remember that much. The pictures never turned up. I always just assumed they were lost. I have the important ones, and that's what matters." She sighed. "Lavinia, honey, I know you don't like to talk about it, but I feel like I haven't been a very good mother lately. What is going on with you? You've been so…well, really the only word I can come up with is lost, since you came home. I'm worried. Have I caused this?"
Lavinia shook her head. "No, Mother. It's not you at all." She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the imminent conversation. "Mum, I'm not very well liked at school. In my House, Muggleborns…well, they're considered the absolute scum of the earth, and unworthy to study magic. Slytherins—my House—well, they're known for darkness and cruelty. The pureblooded students like to bully me. Professor Snape does everything in his power to protect me, but he can't very well follow me around everywhere and keep an eye on me. I have to face them on my own. He's given me extra lessons, teaching me all kinds of things. I can make rather advanced potions, and I'm very advanced in defensive magic. The problem is, I'm not quite on the level of the older students, and they like to gang up on me. It's hard to fight them off by myself," she began. Audra's eyes were wide, her hand over her mouth. "That's not the worst of it, Mum. Not by a long shot." Lavinia gave an ironic half smile. "They killed my Lissy, the little snake that I had. Shortly after, only two weeks ago, they tried to kill me. The student who bullied me the most, Gerald Malcolm, attacked me from behind one evening as I headed to Snape's office for my extra lessons. I woke up in the Forbidden Forest that surrounds the grounds. He'd left me in the snow with only my skirt and blouse. I was nearly dead. Mischa found me." She paused. "I suppose I should also tell you that because of the Slytherins' antics, she was bitten by a werewolf in an attempt to save my life. She lives in the Forest with her pack. This pendant," she said, holding up the wolf around her neck, "is enchanted so I can call her if I need her. The pack rescued me and brought me back to the castle. Malcolm was expelled. He will not be allowed to return to Hogwarts. Since then, I've been, as you so accurately put it, a little lost. More accurately, broken. But I have to go back," she ended in a whisper. Tears were flowing freely down both faces as mother and daughter gazed at each other.
"Oh, dear Lavinia," Audra finally choked, reaching for her, then withdrawing her hand. She didn't know how to comfort her child. She didn't know how to help.
"It's alright, Mum. I'm a Slytherin, after all. I'll be fine," Lavinia replied bitterly. "Another thing Slytherins are known for is their resourcefulness. I will fight to my last breath if need be, but I will be alright." She touched her mother's hand. Audra broke into sobs.
"Oh, my girl," she cried. Lavinia reached out and pulled her mother close.
"It's alright, Mum. It'll be alright," she murmured softly, pushing back her own tears and comforting her mother. She knew it was a lie, but she spoke the words anyways.
