Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I am really super busy and writers block has been kicking my ass. Also, sense the show won't return until October thought waiting may be best, but I miss writing for this story.
This chapter is really short and just a filler. I apologize not giving you guys the chapter you deserve after such a long time of not updating. Hopefully I get a spark that will get me to write more interesting chapters but like I said writers block. I am trying to go along with the show, but frankly I don't really remember what happens so I am waiting for it to come out on Netflix so I can recap.
Again I am sorry. Feel free to criticize or give me some suggestions.
Thank you so much xoxo-kate
Beth sat down across from me the ground barley moving with her agile movements onto the dirt. Her hand outreached towards me holding a red fruit in her hand; a strawberry. I took it gratefully into my own hand staring at her worn face. Haphazardly washed away mud residue sat on her beautiful skin, sweat was glitzing just on her hair line, and her hair laid wild and tangle in her ponytail. "I remember when you first came onto the barn." She spoke quietly to the ground. "I thought you and me, we were about the same age, and we must get along. I needed someone else there with me. Jimmy was always there, and Maggie but I wanted new faces. I, of course, got the impression you disliked me though and we never ended up bonding until the prison." Her eyes met mine.
I watched her hands twiddle with her jeans not knowing what to say. "Thank you." She shrugged it off. "No Beth, thank you. Benjamin wouldn't be here without you neither would I, so just accept my thanks." She closed her eyes and nodded looking back at the ground. "Now…are you alright?" Beth didn't look up at me when I said this. She knew what I meant, and what I wanted to get out of her. "Beth." She looked up half-an-inch. "I know you. I know you." I could see tears falling onto the dirt around her. "And I love you. You're my sister."
Beth's hands wrapped around her neck. "The cut off his head Rose, clean off with Michonne's sword and I had to watch. I had to watch my father get executed by a sick man and I wasn't able to do anything but watch." Her face collapsed into her hands. "He didn't deserve that. He was a good man, my father. He was bright, and wise, and perfect. He didn't deserve that death."
"Hey, hey, hey." I leaned forward grabbing her hand. "People are going to die. I am going to die, Daryl is going to die, Rick, Carl, Glenn…we all go at some time. Your father didn't deserve to die like that, but it is probably much better up there as it is down here. He was the bravest, knowledgeable, faithful, hopeful man I ever met. He was one of the good ones. I could sit here and tell you things, but he is not coming back. That's brutal I know but he is still here inside us whispering wisdom through the wind as we go. He died proud of us." I smiled as her tear stained face rose. "At least now he's got his leg back."
She laughed whipping her face with the back of her hand. "I know he wouldn't want me cryin' over him but he was my dad and all."
I gave her hand a squeeze. "Beth, you have all the rights to be sad. I would be surprised if you weren't. Don't let death shut you down."
"Then why did you?" she asked suddenly referring to those months I detached myself from everyone. I could see the almost anger in her eyes from when I left her, I could see the pain she felt with my pain, my stupid handmade pain.
I opened my mouth, and then closed it trying to find my answer. "I am a coward. When the miscarriage happened I was so hung up on it I couldn't function. I knew I was being stupid and hypocritical but it just hit so close to home, I had never experienced death like that. Lori's death affected me that way, but only because of the guilt I had for not helping not because she had died. I wish I could go back and shake myself back into reality. I am so ashamed of myself because of it. I kept telling people to get over their losses and there I was moping around for what? My son is alive yes, but how safe will he be. I love him of course, but is he any better here?" I sighed. "But it is over now, and I have to focus on what lies ahead not changing my past." Beth averted her eyes from mine picking at the dirt underneath her finger nails. "I hope we find everyone." I say getting off this topic of death.
She shook her head. "We should be out looking for them." Her eyes lit up sympathetically. "Once you are better of course."
"A day or two that is all I need." I looked down at my son stroking the side of his face with my thumb. "What a world he has come into…how much he has got to grow…" I pushed him close to my chest a rustling sound came from the bushes. Beth stood up slowly pulling her gun from her jeans raising it to meet our attacker.
"I got some more water." Daryl said eyeing both Beth and I who both relaxed. He made his way towards me crouching down to look at my face. His eyes flicked over every feature analyzing where struggle met strength. He lingered on my lips contemplating the action of leaning down to kiss them, but instead he stood up and looked around our enclosure. "We should move soon." He said to no one in particular.
Beth glared up at him. "She needs more time to rest; she just had a baby Daryl."
Daryl turned to face her. "I know that, but we need to move. Staying in one place could be dangerous."
"We should be out looking for everyone." She spat out furious with his lack of perseverance. "What if they need us?"
"They can handle their own."
Beth's fist clenched by her side. "They could be dead because of us! How can you just sit here and wait around while everyone we knew is dying?"
Daryl shook his head but never responded while he began to work on a fire. I watched them both as he did that and Beth stormed off to her little area writing furiously in a journal. I wiggled to my sides finding the power to push myself off the ground. "She is right you know." I say quietly to him as he pokes at the flames. "We should be looking."
"You don't think I know that." He hissed without looking at me. "I am trying Rose. There is only so much I can do."
"I can take care of myself Daryl, and if I can't Beth is always there to help me. You don't need to protect us all." I reach my hand down the stroke the back of his head. "In a day or two I will be ready to move and when I am we are going to go look for everyone."
Daryl slowly stood up staring at me. "Then what? Where are we going to go? The prison's gone…where do we rest? Where do we eat? Where do we live?"
I shook my head. "I don't know but with everyone else around us we will know. We'll figure something out."
He sighed knowing I was right. "I wish Merle was here." He says suddenly placing his hand in the nape of my neck. "He would have loved to meet little Ben."
"He would have been running around saying he looks like him, but we all know he looks like his dad." I smiled up at him wrapping my arm around him to pull him close. "Once this is over, once we're safe…we'll be the best goddamn family there ever was you hear me Daryl." I kissed the side of his jaw. "Nobody is going to want to mess with the Dixons."
"I love you." He whispered almost shaking. "You're the only reason I think I keep surviving. Out in those woods, alone, hunting, you think a lot…there were so many times I just wanted to put a bullet in my head." My eyes-widen. "But I'd think of you, I'd think of him, and I ignore it because you two need me. Because I don't want to think about you being alone." Daryl kisses my forehead.
I squeeze my eyes tight. "I love you too." I smiled up at him when his eyes meet mine. "Why wouldn't I?"
